Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

Well, I've mentioned before that I used to work at Sea World and I only recently quit for another job. One of my friends I made at work has clung to the title and we talk every day. So one fine day he was over at my house, and when we were trading stories he decided to let go with this gem straight from Shamu Stadium:
Every afternoon they whack Shamu off into a plastic bag.
In the public pools.
Where people can see.
And thanks to a zoo I know, I have a photo.
VERY NSFW

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

WHY?!

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

To keep him docile I suppose.

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 415

Somewhere a furry is whacking off to that photo.

That would be the worst job in the world.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I've seen this photo linked to on this board before ... but I can't remember where.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

I've seen this photo linked to on this board before ... but I can't remember where.

Ditto, I have seen this picture often before, even tricked a few peeps into seeing it. I don't think that is Shamu though, and the whacking bit might be for some science testing or vet thing.

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

Ditto, I have seen this picture often before, even tricked a few peeps into seeing it. I don't think that is Shamu though, and the whacking bit might be for some science testing or vet thing.

They do it every day. I dunno why they'd need to test his semen daily. Oh, and it's Shamu, or at least what they call Shamu. The whale's actual name is Ulysses.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

Maybe orcas have prostate issues... Need daily 'draining'.

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

Maybe orcas have prostate issues... Need daily 'draining'.

Worst job ever

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

KEWL HELLO NEW DESKTOP WALLPAPER!

Dejan · Prattler Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 103

Reminds me of that line in "Clerks"...

You need a job thats really important to you. Thats why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination. Have a nice day.

Beauty of Nature · Prattler Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 178

Reminds me of that line in "Clerks"...

You need a job thats really important to you. Thats why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination. Have a nice day.

There are people that actually work in the insamination business for a living.
They have to get their work material by masturbating animals.

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

jesus fucking christ

why is the picture so huge

USMC-Sgt.MURDER · Coadjutor Joined: 26 Aug 2005 Posts: 82

It's a friggin whale...

SkunkDogFromSpace · Venter Joined: 05 Jun 2005 Posts: 222

You know.. that image loaded very slowly and I watched it to go on
and on
and on
and on
and I started to wonder HOW LONG IS THAT THING D8!! Good grief! *twitch*

There are people that actually work in the insamination business for a living.
They have to get their work material by masturbating animals.

NO! Don't say it out loud! Now the furries have some JOB where they can legally jerk off animals! *squick* brrr..

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

I'm just so glad the bag is obscured by his leg. I don't want to know what killer whale semen looks like.

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

I'm on dial-up and between this and the pics from the Narumi thread, it has been a very long and disturbing morning.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

Wow. That must make a very disturbing afternoon show.

"And for the 3:30 show we have shamu eating fish, juming through flaming hoops, splashing the audience, hitting on pregnant woman, and the public handjob." Damn, shamu lives a live of ease.

Jesus that must ruin some vacations. "Mommy? Why is the man touching shamu there?" A question that will span the ages.

Rain · Qualificator Joined: 22 Oct 2005 Posts: 9

They do that for his prostate health AND to keep him docile. A.I. is done with captive orcas in a similar fashion but the collection equipment is..um..a tad more sophisticated than a ziplock bag. (Sorry, animal husbandry/zoology grad here lol)But...in public view? Pray tell why?

They weren't kidding when they said that their orcas shows are educational. :!: :shock:

Octan · Coadjutor Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 77

I was going to ask why they don't just have their orcas neutered but I guess the show ones have to double as breeders because of expense issues.

peppersprayed · Vociferator Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 369

I was going to ask why they don't just have their orcas neutered but I guess the show ones have to double as breeders because of expense issues.

I don't think the mantra NEUTER THE WHALES would go over quite as well as SAVE THE WHALES

besides aside from a few potential health benefits the reason we neuter cats and dogs is to control the population, last I checked aside from the japanese no one is trying to control the whale population.

How many other animals do we neuter anyway, I know there are some farm animals but aside from that I don't think we really do it much except for pets.

Long story short too many cats and dogs

no overpopulation problem with whales

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

Wouldn't neutering them be a chore anyway? Aren't they one of those species where the testies are kind of up inside them?

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

Wouldn't neutering them be a chore anyway? Aren't they one of those species where the testies are kind of up inside them?

Well if there's any place where somebody's likely to know the exact answer, it's here (and I'm pretty sure the answer is yes).

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

Wouldn't neutering them be a chore anyway? Aren't they one of those species where the testies are kind of up inside them?

Well if there's any place where somebody's likely to know the exact answer, it's here (and I'm pretty sure the answer is yes).

If you made a thread in /dis/ at fchan asking if killer whale's balls are at any moment external to the body you will get a lot of what are most likely correct answers very fast.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

OMG

http://www.gamespot.com/xbox/action/seaworldshamusbigadventure/

I don't know why exactly, but after knowing shamu gets some lovin' from ms. righty and her five cousins every day, this game feels dirty now, even with a cartoon shamu.

Make that ESPECIALLY with a cartoon shamu.

CI · Apocrisiary Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 50

Current Topics In Our Forum: 'Shamu is so hot'.

PetteriB · Qualificator Joined: 08 Oct 2003 Posts: 12

Current Topics In Our Forum: 'Shamu is so hot'.

Also: My Sea World tale of woe

ChildEatingMonster · Coadjutor Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 73

The original picture and the gamespot story are hilarious...

Whenever I went to Seaworld, I never got to see Shamu because there was always a little laminated sign on his tank that said "on vacation".

I hate my childhood now. :(

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

I hate my childhood now. :(

Look at it this way.

You'd hate your childhood even more if you'd been there to see Shamu's little daily ritual.