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GoManVanGogh
Vociferator
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 659
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Posted: 10/6/2005 6:58:16 PM
Post subject: A Public Service Announcement |
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A Public Service Announcement
By
Gabe Gentile ©2005
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CAST
SOCKS
Cat of former President Bill Clinton,
spokescat for the “Tongues for Tushes”
charity organization. Meant to be played
'straight'.
KITTEN
3-day-old kitten. Sweet, cute and innocent.
OLD
Elderly cat. Weak and somewhat senile.
INBRED
Inbred, mentally deficient cat. Speech is
pocked with yowls, jabbers and grunts.
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SOCKS
Hello, this is former Presidential house-pet
Socks. As many of you no doubt already know,
I am a cat. And, like all cats, I lick my
own anus. It's something that we do every
day, often without a second thought. But I'd
like you to consider, for just a moment,
going through life without being able to
experience the simple joy of licking your
own anus. It's not a very pleasant thought,
is it? Well, the awful truth of the matter
is, for a disturbing number of poor,
unfortunate kitties out there, through no
fault of their own, being unable to lick
your own anus is a sad fact of life. But it
doesn't have to be this way. Since it's
founding, the “Tongues for Tushes” charity
has given much needed aid to thousands of
analinguily-challenged cats. But there's
still so much more that needs to be done.
And it can't be done without your help. Your
donation to “Tongues for Tushes” will aid in
programs to help the young…
KITTEN
I am a three-day-old kitten, and I am
blind. I can't even see my own anus. But
thanks to “Tongues for Tushes”, I know that
I never have to worry about my anus being
licked when I need it. Thanks, “Tongues for
Tushes”.
SOCKS
The old…
OLD
At my age, I can barely walk let alone lick my
own anus. That's why I'm glad to know “Tongues
for Tushes” is there to help old-timers like
me. Thank you, “Tongues for Tushes”.
SOCKS
And everyone in between.
INBRED
Due to genera- YAAGH! Generations of inter-
HRUGGH! Interbreeding, I lack the mental
capa- GUH! GUH! GUH! Mental capacity to
lick my own anus. “Tongues for NYAADLAH-
LAH! ”Tongues for Tushes” makes sure I have
noth- BRRALLTHVRR! Nothing to worry about.
Thanks, “Tongues for Tushes” BOMB THE
NURSERIES! SLAUGHTER THE INNOCENT!
SOCKS
Don't put it off any longer. Give to
“Tongues for Tushes” today. Just call our
toll-free hotline at 1-800-555-LICK to make
your tax-deductible donation today, And
remember… A Hienie's a Wonderful Thing to
Taste.
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The Flying Fox
Coadjutor
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 93
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Posted: 10/6/2005 7:03:02 PM
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In the name of everything holy, unholy, and in between; THAT is some f***ed up humor going off. :lol:
I'm sure dogs would appreciate it if you made an ad for those of them who lack the sense of smell, you know... "Come to discover a world of wonderful scents like
FAECES!
GARBAGE!
URINE!
UNIDENTIFIABLE MUSH ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO EAT BUT KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T BECAUSE IT WILL GIVE YOU AN INFECTION IN YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR HEAD WILL LOP OFF!" |
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Stoneth
Needs to get out more
Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 1225
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Posted: 10/6/2005 7:04:32 PM
Post subject: |
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| I liked it. :lol: |
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GoManVanGogh
Vociferator
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 659
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Posted: 10/6/2005 7:14:02 PM
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In the name of everything holy, unholy, and in between; THAT is some f***ed up humor going off. :lol:
I'm sure dogs would appreciate it if you made an ad for those of them who lack the sense of smell, you know... "Come to discover a world of wonderful scents like
Nah, this is pretty much a one-shot deal.
Glad you like it, though. |
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GoManVanGogh
Vociferator
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 659
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Posted: 10/6/2005 7:15:14 PM
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:) You like? :)
I liked it. :lol:
:evil: I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE!!! :evil: |
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AngryPuritan
Needs to get out more
Joined: 15 Jan 2005
Posts: 1361
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Posted: 10/6/2005 7:15:42 PM
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analinguily-challenged
Best fake PC term... EVAR! |
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Ruphia
Qualificator
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 24
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Posted: 10/6/2005 10:12:58 PM
Post subject: |
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| Somewhere, a furry will fap to it. |
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GoManVanGogh
Vociferator
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 659
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Posted: 10/6/2005 10:22:51 PM
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Somewhere, a furry will fap to it.
Not if they never see it.
And what furry would be dumb enough to look HERE for fap material? |
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Dr. Dos
Vociferator
Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 718
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Posted: 10/6/2005 10:37:30 PM
Post subject: |
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| People like Osfur who don't know what the forum is about. |
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GoManVanGogh
Vociferator
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 659
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Posted: 10/6/2005 11:29:45 PM
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People like Osfur who don't know what the forum is about.
I stand corrected. |
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