Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

ChildEatingMonster · Coadjutor Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 73

http://www.neopets.com/shopping/newcatalogue.phtml?display=single&id=342&cat_type=33

I get tired of knowing anything about furs sometimes.

This was a while ago...

I was walking around in a walMart with some friends of mine and we wandered into the toy aisle... I spent some time knocking things off of the shelves with a plastic TMNT bo staff. My companions did other things.

Sooner or later, one of them found this item and started playing with it.

Its a talking plush doll. Now what would you imagine it to sound like?.. Maybe a little boy or a toddler er sumthing?...

HAHAHAHA TOUGH LUCK, FUCKASS! This toy has the voice of a 20 year old man. (god, I wish I had a way to post sounds.)

You press its paw and it goes on to say one of however many number of things its programmed to say...

"Hi, I'm Kougra! Aren't my wings cool?!"

"Hanging out with you is a blast!"

"Whatup, nigga?! Lets go get krunk!"

I dont remember a lot of them... they were pretty generic. I got through about 4 before I was able to hear this creation of evil utter a noise that still haunts me.

I pressed its paw and it started purring or meowing or just making a general kind of "wow, I love it when you fuck me in the ass" type of noise. My eyes widened and I tossed the thing down the aisle while all of my friends stared at me with inquisitive looks.

and what am I supposed to say?
"Oh that toy made a noise that made me imagine a 30 year old fat guy cutting a hole in its plushi rear end and pounding away at it."

It sucks to know anything about furs.

EFudd · Prattler Joined: 12 May 2005 Posts: 140

Thats scary, and with any luck it will make it onto the top ten toy list for Christmas. Uno like Xbox 360, pocket bikes, GI JOE** Real Flame thrower

(Fire Insurance Salesman will make some 4th quarter profits I tell you)

You should see if any furry LJs speak of purchacing this..."toy"

ChildEatingMonster · Coadjutor Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 73

I dont know about any furry LJs, let alone read any :(

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

Furries will like it just because it "Responds to your touch!"

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

GI JOE Real Flame thrower

Shpasheballsh de FLAME-TROWER!!!

Oh, kidz love DISH vun...

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

:roll: KEEEE-RIPES!!!! :shock: :wink: :lol: :lol: :roll: What ever happened to the old fashioned INFLATABLE GIRL?If your'e going to have sex with an inanimate object,remeber:"Get the right tool for the right job!" :lol: :lol: :lol:

nopedestrian · Prattler Joined: 10 Sep 2005 Posts: 106

I was walking around in a walMart with some friends of mine and we wandered into the toy aisle... I spent some time knocking things off of the shelves with a plastic TMNT bo staff. My companions did other things.

TIME TO SHOW THESE 5.50 AN HOUR BASTARDS WHO ROCKS THEIR WORLD

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

Go for it man!!! :twisted:

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

According to a few people I know who work there, picking things off the ground is like a break from the rest of the BS they deal with. Then again, most of the BS they deal with is specific to the clusterfuck of rednecks living in the area.

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

Well, don't do it in a grocery store. When you've got a manager who threatens to fire you every day because the milk is not completely stocked every half hour, having to stop and pick up shit people just left in the middle of an aisle is just more crap you're not being paid to deal with.

peppersprayed · Vociferator Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 369

I get this weird vibe everytime I see a pack of NeoPets cards, I just think a lot of furries probably buy those cards. Then last week my friend randomly says he plays.... that's some coincidence.

ChildEatingMonster · Coadjutor Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 73

TIME TO SHOW THESE 5.50 AN HOUR BASTARDS WHO ROCKS THEIR WORLD

hay now, I worked as a custodian for 2 years, if anybody deserves to make a mess for the hell of it, its me.

IceCat · Venter Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 244

:roll: KEEEE-RIPES!!!! :shock: :wink: :lol: :lol: :roll: What ever happened to the old fashioned INFLATABLE GIRL?If your'e going to have sex with an inanimate object,remeber:"Get the right tool for the right job!" :lol: :lol: :lol:

You can always get one of the these if you have $5000+ to spend. NSFW by the way

EFudd · Prattler Joined: 12 May 2005 Posts: 140

You can always get one of the these if you have $5000+ to spend. NSFW by the way

Hehe, IceCat made a good suggestion. $5000? Hmm...you know, in the long run it might be more economic than a real girlfriend and probably never bitches. Bad past experiances taking a girl out and having her order the lob$ter.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3236 mentions the money you can save with your very own realdoll.