Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

Frank Gembeck Jr. - Well known gay porn artist

http://trickster.wereanimal.net/cf99/Frank1.jpg

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

And whats the big deal, if you weren't all that attractive I could see you drawing yourself as something better (Not nessiarly gay furs though X~X)

Nightweaver · Qualificator Joined: 20 Feb 2004 Posts: 9

Are you serious? That is him? I always pictured him as a Scott Ruggels'-looking guy in a suit. Are there ANY normal-looking people left in this fandom, or is it all populated by goblins? Not that I'm one to talk, but you know, I am fit and DO have all my teeth. Oh, and I bathe regularly. That counts for a lot. Let me know if you want a pic of me for proof. If not, I understand. You might just have to take my word for it.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

I believe "not all that attractive" is an understatement in this case.

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

Oh dear lord! ~Pukes~ thats fucken ugly. I'd put a bullet in my head if I that hidious.....

DatdudeGil · Qualificator Joined: 25 Feb 2004 Posts: 36

Holyhell,and I thought -I- was ugly...

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

Again, more evidence for my unified theory of me being the sexiest man in furry.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

Again, more evidence for my unified theory of me being the sexiest man in furry.

Anty up the pics, sug.

DatdudeGil · Qualificator Joined: 25 Feb 2004 Posts: 36

The New Meat Wrote:

Again, more evidence for my unified theory of me being the sexiest man in furry.

I have to rebutt. I am the sexiest man in furry, although I look like I'm 12

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

http://trickster.wereanimal.net/cf99/Frank1.jpg

*dry heaves* What IS that?!

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

Again, more evidence for my unified theory of me being the sexiest man in furry.

Anty up the pics, sug.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

oh

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 595

Frank Gembeck Jr. - Well known gay porn artist

http://trickster.wereanimal.net/cf99/Frank1.jpg

Good grief....he makes me look like a model by comparision....

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

I...Ah...whoooo boyee...yipe....suddenly I feel a lot less hideous..maybe the lighting's bad....naw....the queer eye guys couldn't help him...at least iI know I'm horrible looking....cluehammer QUICK!

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

What is it with furries and mousey long hair??? It's not a mane, you fruit... you've got the hair of a heroin addict. It's like greasy brown spagetti, or limp straw.

Seriously, there are so many grotesque furs that would actually clean up pretty decently. I mean, if this guy got fit, got a haircut, and chose some better glasses, he could pass as human. If he didn't bother to get dental work, he could at least be passable in England. (badump bump... sorry.. couldn't resist).

So many of them, though, have this long, scraggly mop of hair in some effort to look like they just walked off of the battlefield (Toivo Roivanen (sp?) in a samurai topknot... YIKES!). All of the ones that wear glasses have these huge John Denver looking frames from the $50 Wal-Mart section with lenses that are so old they're yellowed. And then they swaddle their rolls in these lame-ass T-shirts. Let's be real, folks.. there's only two people that can successfully get away with those mottled garment-dyed t-shirts with the wraparound wildlife prints.... trailer trash, and Greenpeace militants. You could take Cindy Crawford and put her in one of those t-shirts, and she'd look like she should have a screaming kid in her arms, a Marlboro dangling from her lips, and be talking to a police officer about how her husband made those bruises on her neck before trying to burn down their trailer home with her in it.

Yes, I know you love Animaniacs.. but, really, fellah, you're 40 years old. Maybe a nice, plain navy blue or something, at least, instead of the white Hanes with Dot Warner gangrape scene airbrushed on the back?

And while were at it, Mr. Stereotypical Furry..... can we address the issue of the digital watch that looks like you got it in a crane game? (Bonus points if it's one of those calculator watches.)

I've got it.... TLC's What Not to Wear goes to a furry con...... hilarity ensues.

A little facial scrub would go a looooong way, not to mention shampoo. When I had long hair, I washed it every night...... now I have none. REMEMBER KIDS.. HAIR IS A PRIVELEDGE, NOT A RIGHT! :)

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 415

Shower with soap. Shave. Shampoo and condition. Brush teeth and use mouthwash. Floss, too. Deodorize. Exercise. A LOT.

The above will make that thing resemble a human. Until then, no dice.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Ah.. but the last thing they want is to resemble an icky hy00man.

Too bad that, instead of resembling their "fursona," they end up resembling a ham.

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

instead of resembling their "fursona," they end up resembling a ham.

If I were a ham, I'd resent that. :)

Gembeck's pretty harsh on the eyes but I've seen comparable, if not poorer, examples of beauty at fur cons. Add to the look factor the B.O., scraggly hair and clothes that are either two sizes too small or too large and you get a full out assault on the senses.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

It's not like one is innately doomed to be a horrific beast. I mean, I'm no beauty prize winner. But, good grooming, a little thought about your wardrobe.. including glasses (I know those safety glasses are stylin'.. but splurge a few more bucks and find some that actually fit the shape of your face and eye area... I mean, you CAN turn your head. You don't need glasses that cover a 270-degree field of view).... and pretty much anyone can be presentable.

And maybe try a watch with hands kids?