Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Xarai · Coadjutor Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 94

Well on his way to a multimillion-dollar record contract, one MC "Kurrel the Raven" has followed in the steps of a long list of furry rap superstars and written yet another furry rap: The Furry Song.

ICQ and AIM shoutouts turn into a plea to "groove to furry information" and finally crash and burn into railing against FURSECUTION at the end. I think the point at which I realized it was all over was when he rhymed "deluge" with "spooge".

I would think this is a parody, but it's just not funny enough to make me pretty sure it's not. :roll:

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 731

oh my god this is the best ever.

5thehardway · Prattler Joined: 23 Nov 2004 Posts: 161

Fucking LAFFO

He spends so much time TALKING at the beginning of the song I was yelling, "Just start rapping already!!" Then he did and I was sorry.

"This is FUUUU-RRRRY..." Oh Christ, I can't stop laughing.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

In its own way, Murry Head's One Night in Bangkok was as sucktastically sucktackular as this. Except Murry Head had some talent. And a funny name that unavoidably brings possible blowjob jokes to mind. And is commonly played in the same time block as you'd likely hear Taco's Puttin' On the Ritz, and Baltimora's Tarzan Boy.

So all in all, this is a new level of suck. I think I could be this pretentious if I had enough booze to kill me by alcohol poisoning 0.005 seconds later, so this must be caused by what would be in most people near lethal brain damage.

nopedestrian · Prattler Joined: 10 Sep 2005 Posts: 142

This is furrrrrrrrie

Grooving to furry information

At least he's trying to be funny about it.

5thehardway · Prattler Joined: 23 Nov 2004 Posts: 161

In its own way, Murry Head's One Night in Bangkok was as sucktastically sucktackular as this.

Oh you did not even just say that. >:<

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 678

Two words;

AURAL...

RAPE!

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

In its own way, Murry Head's One Night in Bangkok was as sucktastically sucktackular as this.

Them's fightin' words.

Taco's Puttin' On the Ritz

NOW IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

Did I forget to include Dexy's Midnight Runners' Come On Eileen and Styx's Mr. Roboto? Oops.

:twisted:

AngryPuritan · TOP POSTER! Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1437

Styx's Mr. Roboto?

Old man, you just wandered into the rough neighborhood of the forums, you best run like Forrest Gump.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

Let's not be as pretentious as furries and pretend that 80s crap pop was high art. Pop culture should and generally does know when it is shovelling crap. Furries don't. Just sayin...

peppersprayed · Vociferator Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 420

Let's not be as pretentious as furries and pretend that 80s crap pop was high art. Pop culture should and generally does know when it is shovelling crap. Furries don't. Just sayin...

I love 80's music.... but anythinng probably sounds good when your running over hookers.

AngryPuritan · TOP POSTER! Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1437

So, if something is popular it's inherently shit? Isn't that the mentality behind the ever increasing number of high school subgroups?

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 420

Actually, it's that most things get to be popular because they're shit, and the average American just plain loves shit.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

Actually, it's that most things get to be popular because they're shit, and the average American just plain loves shit.

Or more to the point shit that doesn't make them think because pretentious controvery simply to piss people off and fuck with them is in total overload in the media and its too much work to separate the minor percentage of "I never thought about that before" disturbing concepts from the 99.9999995% of everything else that is simply done to mess with them and sound deep when it is in fact pretentious horseshit to enflame emotions and get jollies off of.

Hence, craptastic radio and tv are comfortable.

And no, I'm not some fan of obscure acts like too many others are. They get behind them out of pretentious groupthink more than anything else. One more person expounds to me on how They Might Be Giants are the single most imporant musical artist group ever and I'm bringing out the crowbar and stun baton.

AngryPuritan · TOP POSTER! Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1437

Wayd Wolf, serious badass.

MagnusSkin · Prattler Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 114

It seems that furry can never be anything serious because it's either a joke, a bad joke or something serious that is a joke in and of its self. (is that phrase correct?)
So Wayd is the badass and AngryPuritan is his nemesis, it's all so clear to me now.

80's Music... Anyone like Billy Joel or The Clash? My favorite songs from each are "We Didn't Start the Fire" and "Rock the Casbah"

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

Wayd Wolf, serious badass.

Oh please. Like you wouldn't want to smack the fuck out of half the furries documented here if they bothered you in person.

I simply want to smack the fuck (not necessarily kill, simply bring pain to) out of whiny nerdy putzes who gush about the sociological signifigance of dumbass bands which are supposedly less dumbass because they aren't as mass market popular as the other dumbass bands and then turn around and act like they weren't all spoogey hot for them if they do become mass market popular. You know, that "I'm so over Barenaked Ladies, they're so overcommercialized" thing.

Like these twits wouldn't give their left nut to be so overcommercialized themselves. Some of them already have given up their left nut, but that's something for the fetish files.

So if furry ever did catch on in the imaginations of the general public, they might then be so overly "in" that pretentious furry fucks would then turn away from it so as not feel like they are just as normal. After all, furries abhor being normal and fitting in. Then they'd be closer in relationship to their supposed oppressors of normal mainstream society.

Unfortunately, no. Furries are generally the sort who can do mach six past the hypocrisy and embrace it even more and revel and say, "see?! See?! We were right! Furry is cool!" Even as something deep inside them was going apeshit in psychic turmoil over being openly into everything the mainstream is. "No, I can't like anything society does, I must be different!"

Which is just the sort of cognitive dissonance furries put themselves through a dozen times a year one way or the other with their drama queen festivals. CYD exists because of that in part. There's a double edged sword of the worst enemy driving your new sports car off a cliff type right there.

So furries don't irk me the most in this regard. People who are so tantalizingly close to societally functional but still wag on and on about the ramifications of the lyrical structure of Weezer and Radiohead being derivative of ten other bands I probably only saw mentioned in passing on some blog linked from here a year ago are the ones who tick me off.

They really have no idea they are as rabidly clueless as Manson's followers when it comes to their grip on society and arts. You know the ones who at one time jealously guarded the fantastical secret of the genius of Tori Amos, Liz Phair, and the Toadies and one by one they turned on them as mass market radio, horrors, played their music and made them too popular and mainstream to listen to any longer. Sane people knew their music was unlistenable to in the first place. Like that of Thomas Dolby, Donna Summer, and Air Supply in days gone by except no one pretentiously maintained a two-faced subculture in reverence of them as we were likely too drunk or stoned or still relatively well adjusted or some combination.

Fortunately, they (these more emo than Morissey twits, and who knows, maybe Thomas Dolby although no one has ever seen him and Alton Brown in the same place at the same time) mostly congregate at the pretzel and cookie stands nearest to Hot Topic (which is hardly ever near the food court as the object of a food court is for food to be A)sold and B)kept down long enough to leave the property before it makes you terminally ill and Hot Topic-ites can bring up the lunch pretty quick at times) and thus you know where not to walk at the mall. The record store shoos them away because they bother regular music buyers with actual jobs and real spending money. They won't go near the oldies vinyl place because the aging hippy stoners who hang there would hang them with a guitar string from the parking lot lamp post.

These sorts are also disturbingly close to the introvert subculture freaks who have attempted to misappropriate the entirety of the sixties and seventies for themselves, thus temporarily rejuvinating the name noteriety for people who really should have OD'd back then but didn't. It would be funnier if they'd embraced the Allman Brothers or the Doobie Brothers or even Steely Dan but instead it was just tragic.

Yeah, I was secretly hoping they'd embrace something like America, Starlight Vocal Band, or Steve Miller. And worse, furry embraced the wrong decades altogether (just to be different probably) and went with Murry Head and gave us this audio excrement.

Full circle.

Bad Furry Pun · Qualificator Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 6

It seems that furry can never be anything serious

Over-the-top-furryism is heavily based on escapism to begin with, so attempts at legitimacy are kinda doomed from the start. The makers of hilarious furry artifacts such as this mp3 won't notice/don't care since they're so good at deluding themselves anyway.

... in and of its self. (is that phrase correct?)

Yes.

MagnusSkin · Prattler Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 114

I have a friend who listens to Tori Amos... but she only listens tot hat stuff because she's a lesbian.

Allman Brothers, Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan... you forgot Billy Joel.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1151

I have a friend who listens to Tori Amos... but she only listens tot hat stuff because she's a lesbian.

Allman Brothers, Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan... you forgot Billy Joel.

My gay friend is obsessed with Tori Amos.
He sang 'Cornflake Girl' at his family reunion talent show.

MagnusSkin · Prattler Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 114

Tori Amos... it's for Queers!

ChildEatingMonster · Prattler Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 107

I could make a better song than that with my ass glued to a paddle

MagnusSkin · Prattler Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 114

I could make a better song than that with my ass glued to a paddle

"It's For Queers" is a Tori Amos song???

ChildEatingMonster · Prattler Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 107

wtf is a tori amso?

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1151

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf · Prattler Joined: 20 Nov 2005 Posts: 199

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

No.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1151

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

wtf is a tori amso?

No.

Yes.
A TORI AMSO IS A DELICATE TOASTER PASTRY

Xarai · Coadjutor Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 94

So furries don't irk me the most in this regard. People who are so tantalizingly close to societally functional but still wag on and on about the ramifications of the lyrical structure of Weezer and Radiohead being derivative of ten other bands I probably only saw mentioned in passing on some blog linked from here a year ago are the ones who tick me off.

Yeah, except I've never seen an indiesnob who didn't also like Weezer and Radiohead. Some of them even try to classify the two as indie, in order to give them (and themselves) some hint of validation, even though they're completely not.

Has anyone noticed, speaking of which, that furries tend to have the worst music tastes imaginable? More often than not, the "Current Music" fields of most furries' LJs read like the Top 40 playlists of the 1990s. That or Metallica.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1139

I simply want to smack the fuck (not necessarily kill, simply bring pain to) out of whiny nerdy putzes...

I'm bringing out the crowbar and stun baton.

Somewhere between total indifference and complete apathy

These... do not add up.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

I simply want to smack the fuck (not necessarily kill, simply bring pain to) out of whiny nerdy putzes...

I'm bringing out the crowbar and stun baton.

Somewhere between total indifference and complete apathy

These... do not add up.

A)A crowbar and stun baton need not necessarily be fatal if applied properly, B)if I was going to actually do it (since some here want to take it literally) I'd have to look into anti-aging treatments as it might take another century to work through all of them. Instead I take out the damage on myself and drink. Plus: it helps forget the psychic damage of musical crap like this mp3.

So furries don't irk me the most in this regard. People who are so tantalizingly close to societally functional but still wag on and on about the ramifications of the lyrical structure of Weezer and Radiohead being derivative of ten other bands I probably only saw mentioned in passing on some blog linked from here a year ago are the ones who tick me off.

Yeah, except I've never seen an indiesnob who didn't also like Weezer and Radiohead. Some of them even try to classify the two as indie, in order to give them (and themselves) some hint of validation, even though they're completely not.

Has anyone noticed, speaking of which, that furries tend to have the worst music tastes imaginable? More often than not, the "Current Music" fields of most furries' LJs read like the Top 40 playlists of the 1990s. That or Metallica.

As I said, furries and the really annoying indie snobs are different. The almost societally functional indie snobs tend to listen closer to the 60s and 70s on top of their current day lists and the furries manage to miss those decades entirely which is yet another bizarre affectation of theirs in veering off course from mass cultural trends prior to impact. If you put society's interests at the center of a dartboard, furries consistantly land everywhere except the bullseye.

Also, I have met many indiesnobs who believe Weezer and Radiohead are too overblown for them. I tend to have a talent for wandering into the midst of those cretins who like many furries aren't happy about liking something unless everyone and their friends disagrees and hates it, just to be different.

I have a friend who listens to Tori Amos... but she only listens tot hat stuff because she's a lesbian.

Allman Brothers, Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan... you forgot Billy Joel.

My gay friend is obsessed with Tori Amos.
He sang 'Cornflake Girl' at his family reunion talent show.

Yes, "We Didn't Start the Fire" sounds exactly like it could be a furry song. A pretentious superficial knowledge of a bunch of modern history class buzzwords, ability to rhyme, and overall a total disavowal of any and all responsibility with a whiny insincere ass cover "no we didn't light it, but we're tryin' to fight it". Yeah, right.

My sister used to listen to Tori Amos and it made my skin crawl to hear anything of hers. Cornflake Girl set me off the worst and made me rant and froth. Thankfully, my sister didn't try actually dressing and changing her hair like Tori Amos but some of her friends did.

ChildEatingMonster · Prattler Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 107

I'm siding with Paul on this one, you guys. :o

AngryPuritan · TOP POSTER! Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1437

Wayd, can you write anything that's not a textbook example of TL;DR? I mean, maybe you had issues with furridom, and yeah, they're mostly idiots, but you honestly seem to hate them while most here just get their jollies from them.

I mean, did they step on your werewolf tail or something?

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 705

Wayd, can you write anything that's not a textbook example of TL;DR? I mean, maybe you had issues with furridom, and yeah, they're mostly idiots, but you honestly seem to hate them while most here just get their jollies from them.

If you can't tell the difference between mere loathing and actual hate, then you're way beyond explaining it to quickly. If you're do know the difference but are being obtuse then there's no point. I've explained it very damn clearly too many times to go over yet again.

And no, I ain't the one with issues. People who talk shit about specific people on web boards on the theory that the people they insult, degrade, and anger aren't ever going to come after them are no different than bullies and bullies are cowards. Only attacking those they perceive to be weaker or in a position they can't strike back from without it costing too much.

Furries behave like that. So what's the excuse of people around here?

AngryPuritan · TOP POSTER! Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1437

Does this relate back to the size of your wife's boobs any way?

ChildEatingMonster · Prattler Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 107

Does this relate back to the size of your wife's boobs any way?

if not, then I'm not interested

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 678

So what's the excuse of people around here?

"Bite me, it's fun"?

stinkweedskunk · Prattler Joined: 14 Nov 2005 Posts: 155

So what's the excuse of people around here?

"Bite me, it's fun"?

"Ok, done jerkin' it to some phurri pr0n. Now let's head on over to CYD for some laffs."

AngryPuritan · TOP POSTER! Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1437

"Ok, done jerkin' it to some phurri pr0n. Now let's head on over to CYD for some laffs."

That about sums up my life. :cry:

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

Now now, Wayd seems to have been making progress away from the internet badass persona since he returned. That's to be commended. Don't be too harsh or he may fall off the wagon.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 731

"Ok, done jerkin' it to some phurri pr0n. Now let's head on over to CYD for some laffs."

That about sums up my life. :cry: