Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

Let's get down to business here.

I think we can all agree that this site doesn't update nearly enough. Mitch has pointed out that a lot more people visit the front page than dare enter the forums, and I know a fair number of people who actually consider CYD to be legit news source on furry dumbfuckery. And I hear a lot of complaints about our random update schedule.

So my point is we really ought to try and update more regularly.

If you've been allowed into this forum, it's probably because you're the sort of person who's got too many outside interests and obligations to diddle away massive amounts of time on furry. I know I've got better things to do that make fun of furries, and I'm sure you do too. But there's a fair number of us in here, and if we all work together we can do it. We don't need to update frequently as long as we do it consistently. honestly, CYD is a small site appealing to a niche audience, so daily updates (besides being impractical) just aren't necessary. Hell, even once a month updates would be an improvement over our current "whenever-we-want-to" schedule. There's got to be at least 12 decent writers in this lot, which would work out to a measly one article a year.

They don't even have to be very elaborate articles. For a good example of how completely half-assed they could be, go look at my "A Brief Message for Otherkin." Even a nice caricature or a nasty comic or a stupid photoessay would work. Really, we just need to get some content up there.

I've seen Mitch and Comy's articles and I know they can write. I've seen Donotsue, Skunkfuckers, and Genghis's art and I know hey can draw. I forget who else is in here, but I'm positive that anyone Compy and Mitch have deemed worthy of entry has something to contribute. So anyway, if you think you have what it takes to really make fun of furries, post here and let's start discussions about how to do it seriously.

Genghis · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 322

I can draw?

Wow.

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

Can't you?

Genghis · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 322

Well, technically I can draw. Whether I can draw WELL is open to debate.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

Well, technically I can draw. Whether I can draw WELL is open to debate.

You mean, we can draw?

Double wow.

I propose a Cabal only draw-off! Cabal members ONLY!

($20 says Donny wins.)

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 866

Well, I'm kind of out of good ideas at this point as to where to go next with the articles. I'd do one on Civasco and his wacky broken-english highjinks but nothing I could ever say would do the brilliance in his pictures justice.

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

Well, I'm kind of out of good ideas at this point as to where to go next with the articles. I'd do one on Civasco and his wacky broken-english highjinks but nothing I could ever say would do the brilliance in his pictures justice.

There's got to be something worth writing again. I mean, these are furries, after all. The funny should just not end.

What about manawolf? Has anyone ever done anything on manawolf?

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 866

There's got to be something worth writing again. I mean, these are furries, after all. The funny should just not end.

What about manawolf? Has anyone ever done anything on manawolf?

I tried, but it's a pain in the ass just wading through the billions of tons of crap she's written, much less trying to humorously refute her nutty and yet insanely elaborate ideas.

I'll try again one of these days, unless you've got any ideas that could help.

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 664

What about "Jack"? I was sure we'd covered it for some reason, but of course we haven't. Its sheer mind-boggling pretentiousness, plus its sloppy artwork and crummy lettering, all make it a prime subject.

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

I'm a convention bitch, and I'm a camera bitch. Put two and two togeddha and you have a bitch who can make convention reports complete with photos and mocking commentary, and under (almost) complete anonymity too!

And if the pictures somehow fail to have that 'effect' we like, I could probably easily caracature what I saw in my horrible mspaint style. :)

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 866

What about "Jack"? I was sure we'd covered it for some reason, but of course we haven't. Its sheer mind-boggling pretentiousness, plus its sloppy artwork and crummy lettering, all make it a prime subject.

I fired this off at someone recently. I'm quite proud of it:

Jack is basically pretentious bullshit. It tosses around some seriously stupid furry subculture references and mashes the same 1 or 2 emotional buttons with all the deftness and dexterity of a one-armed retarded kid trying to play Marvel Vs. Capcom by repeatedly mashing all the buttons with all his might while squwaking unintelligibly at the top of his lungs. Sure, he'll get somewhere, and he'll be immensely proud that he managed to get as far as he did because, well, hey, he must be good if he got to the second stage! Everyone's a winner!

See, Jack shrouds it's complete and total incompetence at everything under a cloud of SERIOUS and METAPHYSICAL and DARK and I READ SANDMAN ONCE (AND JERKED IT TO LADY BAST), but when you try to see what kind of point the author is trying to make, you realise that he has absolutely no fucking clue what he's doing or what he's trying to accomplish. Sure, it looks like it's going somewhere for at maximum two strips, but then it falls apart. The shitty AI gets better. The retarded kid decides to go and do something else.

And that, my friend, is why Jack sucks.

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 664

From an idea by Mouse: The Alternative alt.fan.furry FAQ.

Disclaimer: more additions needed.

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

I started a critique of Jack, but I've been lazy and busy lately so I haven't gotten too far.

As for Manawolf, if the article's just not working, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. How far along were you before Manawolf's idiocy discouraged you? I haven't read all of her garbage, mainly because everything she writes is designed to get a passing grade in a lower-division course at a second tier college rather than make a convincing argument. Her bestiality essay, for example, is the sort of thing that a bored TA would automatically her an A on just for completing the assignment, even if the argument boiled down to nothing more than "DOG FUCKERS SAY THEY LOVE THEIR PETS & I BEEELEEVE THEM."

The funny thing about her is that even crazy people can start making "good" arguments if they keep at it long enough. There are a lot of crazy Bible-thumping loons who spend their time traveling between college campuses telling students that they're all going to hell and that God hates fags and Mormons. They're idiots but this is what they do everyday of the year and eventually they get really really good at refuting all logical arguments with their crazy. It gets to the point that some of these guys can yell "GOD IS A PANCAKE" and make you stroke your chin and say "Gee, I never thought about it like that" for ten seconds before you realize they're stupid. They're that good at their crazy.

Dogfucking is Manawolf's pancake god. She's been advocating it for just about forever, but she's never gotten any better at packaging her crazy.

I dunno, that's what I've always thought of her. But I don't hav ethe patience to read all her anti-shaving bullshit and whatnot.

I'm a convention bitch, and I'm a camera bitch. Put two and two togeddha and you have a bitch who can make convention reports complete with photos and mocking commentary, and under (almost) complete anonymity too!

And if the pictures somehow fail to have that 'effect' we like, I could probably easily caracature what I saw in my horrible mspaint style. :)

I like the way this boy thinks. He'll go far around here.

Another possibility: does anyone know anythig about Kajima Frostfang and Pookie other than their overiding filthiness? Would they make good fodder for an article or is there nothing of interest there?

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

The funny thing about her is that even crazy people can start making "good" arguments if they keep at it long enough. There are a lot of crazy Bible-thumping loons who spend their time traveling between college campuses telling students that they're all going to hell and that God hates fags and Mormons. They're idiots but this is what they do everyday of the year and eventually they get really really good at refuting all logical arguments with their crazy. It gets to the point that some of these guys can yell "GOD IS A PANCAKE" and make you stroke your chin and say "Gee, I never thought about it like that" for ten seconds before you realize they're stupid. They're that good at their crazy.

Dogfucking is Manawolf's pancake god. She's been advocating it for just about forever, but she's never gotten any better at packaging her crazy.

"Pancake God", the new Straw Man for the internet; when someone overpowers an opponant in a debate through sheer stubborn, ignorance and dumbfuckery...

Another possibility: does anyone know anythig about Kajima Frostfang and Pookie other than their overiding filthiness? Would they make good fodder for an article or is there nothing of interest there?

Hasn't he/they been done to death on PoE? I'm surprised CYD hasn't done anything on them yet, though... might be interesting to see a chart on whos who, as I lost track with all the mind draining made-up fantasy names and shit.

All I remember is the one picture of Pookie sitting on the filthy, litter strewn floor in his tighty whities and how his ass crack ran all the way up his hairy back. Remember Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey? Remember the alien Station, and it's/their freaky inhuman ass cracks? That's exactily what he looks like.

That and him looking over his shoulder with that drooling manchild look on his pallid, moribund face.

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 937

I get most of my furry news secondhand from POE, so my knowledge of furtardation extends only to Manawolf, Frostfang, Kit and Kay Boodle, Starblade, and Alfador. Does anyone know of any furtardation that hasn't already been processed through Portal of Evil?

And on an unrelated topic, can anyone explain this Happywabbit Happybear thing that keeps popping up to me? All I know is that they're two fat, annoying people in some British documentary on furries and they apparently drug teenage boys and then film them having sex with each other. This is not cool.

edit: Perhaps this will help. Here are a few possible topics for front page articles that I just pulled out of my ass. Perhaps something below will strike someone's fancy or else inspire them with ideas of their own. feel free to add your own suggestions, too. We're just brainstorming a little here.

- Mitch suggested an article on furries and politics a while back, specifically why is it that so many furries seem to gravitate toward the extremes, both left and right?

- And somewhat connected: What's the deal with furries and guns? Half the fandom is made up of loopy peaceniks who hate guns and hunting and think they're superior because they don't hurt harmless, defenseless cute lil fuzzy animals and the other half is made up of loony rednecks who love to brag that they're badass and awesome because they kill harmless, defenseless cute lil fuzzy animals.

- Furries and animals rights. Are there any furries that are actually active in the animal rights/welfare movement? I hear a lot of furries rant against hunting and wearing fur, which were hugely controversial positions about fifteen years ago, but far fewer seem to speak out against factory farming or medical experimentation or any of the current controversies surrounding the way we treat animals. Mostly they seem to confine themselves to issues that are difficult to disagree with (Like: Leghold traps are bad) and that don't require them to make any significant lifestyle changes (like give up burgers).

- We've probably done Sabrina to death, but I found this interesting: How much weirdly obsessive fan crap has this thing inspired? Besides the original strip, there's some spin-off called "Sabrina at Algonquin" (which seems to be fifty strips of Max Blackrabbit pining for skunk ass), a bazillion chapter Sabrina fanfic, a horrible series of radio plays (scripts copied verbatim from the comic and read by squeaky-voiced Asian girls), and even our own NOSOCS.

- Just heard about this today: Anyone know the lowdown on Stalking Cat threatening to sue Verix over using his photo in a SA Photoshop Phriday?

- Kajima did it, Merlino did it, JDR did it: How to start your own furry retard cult commune.

- Or simply critique the body of work of one of our favorite artists/cartoonists/etc.

- Someone suggested a critique of "Latex Blue." It would probably be a good contender for mockery, but I can't do it. I actually think the strip is somewhat funny and besides that I actually know the cartoonist. So if anyone else wants to take a crack at that, feel free.

And finally here are some furry names I hear bandied about on a fairly regular basis for varying reasons. Perhaps some of these guys would make for interesting subjects: Manawolf, Kajima, Xxydx, Postvixen, Silfur, Alfador, Dragonfly, Pink Fairy Lotus, Ebonlupus, Biohazard, Doug Winger, Babs Bunny, Shaun Reveal, Sibe, Doodles the Great, Stalking Cat, Nightcrawler, Max Blackrabbit, Terrie Smith, Michelle Light, David Gonterman, Kadaitcha Dancers, Eric Blumrich, Badbird, FoxWulfie Galen, Skylerfennec