Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

Not quite sure if this little gem has been featured here before but...

The Furry Humor Archive

Mostly cheese and some downright disturbing, especially the "You Might Be a Furry If..." section (as if we didn't need enough people ripping off Jeff Foxworthy). Amongst all the smell, the site does have one redeeming section... Raptivo's Response.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

The "humor" on that site made me cry.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

You've tried to think of a scaly version of the word yiff.
(yiss was then suggested by Colm...)

The really scary part is that this is not the first time I heard the word 'yiss'.

Ray Prower · Prattler Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 166

Not quite sure if this little gem has been featured here before but...

The Furry Humor Archive

Mostly cheese and some downright disturbing, especially the "You Might Be a Furry If..." section (as if we didn't need enough people ripping off Jeff Foxworthy). Amongst all the smell, the site does have one redeeming section... Raptivo's Response.

you look at Fifi La Fume like most guys look at Jennifer Anniston.

Terrible, so very, very terrible.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

I remember seeing a video of 2 doing some standup at a furry con. It was basically him saying how gay people were getting to be considered equal and that's good, but they'll never fully relate because of some things.

then he was like SO DID YOU EVER GET CUM IN YOUR EYE?!

ho ho!

Iconoclastic · Vociferator Joined: 08 Mar 2005 Posts: 338

2 would never make it in the real world of comedy. Furry provides a downshifted world where you can be mediocre and still have fame and a cult following.

Mastertran · Venter Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 275

Let's go!
Guitar!
Drums!

Ah'm goin' out tonight!
Ah'm feelin' allright!
Gonna let it all hang out!

Give mah tail a floof!
Make all mah worries go *poof!*
Ah'm searchin' high and low for fun!

Ah've brushed up mah tail!
Took care of mah mail!
Ah'm ready for a day on the town!

Ah've shampooed mah fur!
And made real sure!
That mah flirty look is at its best!

BRIDGE
The best thing about bein' a vixen!
Is the ability to drive males crazy!

CHORUS
Wuh-uh-oh!
Walk right past you!
Give you a smile!
Flirty yips!
Slim hips!
Wuh-uh-oh!
It drives 'em wild, yeah!
Their eyes poppin' outta their heads!
Wuh-uh-oh!
Walkin' down the street!
Flirtin' with males Ah meet!
Swingin' mah tail!
Perkin' mah ears!
Wuh-uh-oh!
I wanna be free, yeah!
Yeah, to be the fox Ah am!
Man! I feel lahke a vixen!

Hey!

Ah feel Ah need a break!
Tonight Ah'm gonna take!
The chance to go out lookin' for some fun!
Ain't lookin' for a yiff!
Males lahke that get me miffed!
Ah just wanna relax and have a good tahme!

REPEAT BRIDGE

REPEAT CHORUS

Hey!
Yip, yip!
Uh-huh!
Oh yeah!

REPEAT BRIDGE

REPEAT CHORUS

Uh-huh!
Oh yeah!
Get totally crazy!
Can you feel it?
Come on with me baby!
Hoo!
Hoo!
Hoo!
Ah feel lahke a vixen!

That right there made me want to stab someone anyone about sixty times with a dull steel dildo while screaming "I am the purple monkey king and you are my BITCH!!!"

Squizzle · Prattler Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 121

Furry provides a downshifted world where you can be mediocre and still have fame and a cult following.

Many subcultures are like this: the horrible state of "Christian" pop music is a particular bugaboo for me. Ignoring for the moment whatever features bring a given subculture together in the first place, its followers are so starved for media that speak to their interests that they'll happily scoop up any comedy (or music or movies or shows or whatever; add scare quotes as desired) that target them. How else to explain the popularity of the Sci-Fi Channel, or Toonami, or Michael W. goddamned Smith? (Y'all are free to argue in favour of any of them based on actual quality, of course, but you'll be wrong wrong wrong. :D )

Arguably furry mediocrities are especially mediocre, of course, but the tendency to aim for product "by us, for us" isn't unique to furrydom.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

Ignoring for the moment whatever features bring a given subculture together in the first place, its followers are so starved for media that speak to their interests that they'll happily scoop up any comedy (or music or movies or shows or whatever; add scare quotes as desired) that target them. How else to explain the popularity of the Sci-Fi Channel, or Toonami, or Michael W. goddamned Smith? (Y'all are free to argue in favour of any of them based on actual quality, of course, but you'll be wrong wrong wrong. :D )

Arguably furry mediocrities are especially mediocre, of course, but the tendency to aim for product "by us, for us" isn't unique to furrydom.

That's very true, but I'd like to add that that despite many furries' claims that "furry" is about appreciation of anthropomorphics, period, it's really about very specific sub-sets of anthropomorphics: Sexual fetishes and otherkin delusion - things that appeal to scant few people who just like anthropomorphics as bit of entertainment, e.g. read Donald Duck comics. If furry was indeed about anthropomorphics, period, there's plenty of mainstream material out there. But surprisingly many furries are only interested in that material in perverted, made-by-furries-for-furries versions.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

mmmMMMMmm... furry comedy.

Not enough sodomy jokes for my liking. Needs more back door man lovin to make me happy.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

2 would never make it in the real world of comedy. Furry provides a downshifted world where you can be mediocre and still have fame and a cult following.

I don't quite see the fascination a lot of furries seem to have with utterly random, "Mad Lib" humour. It also seems to run rampant in anime groups. "LOL PIE CHEESE!! I LIKE PIE AND CHEESE! MMM CHEEZY PIE *DROOLE*"

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

I don't quite see the fascination a lot of furries seem to have with utterly random, "Mad Lib" humour. It also seems to run rampant in anime groups. "LOL PIE CHEESE!! I LIKE PIE AND CHEESE! MMM CHEEZY PIE *DROOLE*"

I fucking HATE that

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

ARGH! It's not comedy, it's an endless nightmare from which none can escape!

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

Heh. That was one of te first furry sites I ever encountered. I really feel sorry for it; all attempts at jokes it tries to make just sort of fail in a more-sad-than-anything-else kind of way.

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

The Intelligence Test was good.

But they didn't write that.

The stuff they DID write is dire.

Shmeckopolis · Vociferator Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 327

2 would never make it in the real world of comedy. Furry provides a downshifted world where you can be mediocre and still have fame and a cult following.

I don't quite see the fascination a lot of furries seem to have with utterly random, "Mad Lib" humour. It also seems to run rampant in anime groups. "LOL PIE CHEESE!! I LIKE PIE AND CHEESE! MMM CHEEZY PIE *DROOLE*"

I always blamed Hot Topic for that one. Hell, they're responsible for every other dumbass thing dumbass kids eat up, so why not that?

On the topic at hand, hate to beat a dead horse, but I gotta say it; 2 was already an example of why furries should stay away from comedy. A medal and a dash of pity to anyone who managed to sit through an entire MP3 of his rants without cutting it off and yelling something public television would have to bleep. They're like one, long, run-on sentance in all capitals read aloud by someone who sucked up a dash of helium, and decided that they wanted to grow up to be just like Jay, from the View Askewniverse.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

On the topic at hand, hate to beat a dead horse, but I gotta say it; 2 was already an example of why furries should stay away from comedy. A medal and a dash of pity to anyone who managed to sit through an entire MP3 of his rants without cutting it off and yelling something public television would have to bleep. They're like one, long, run-on sentance in all capitals read aloud by someone who sucked up a dash of helium, and decided that they wanted to grow up to be just like Jay, from the View Askewniverse.

I've never particularly cared for his rantings, but I do listen to the show 'cause when they're not shouting POKE at one another or muttering gibberish, they do have some interesting news stories. And because I'm not patient enough to read the newspaper and sort through all the political bargle that I don't give a shit about, it's just..

Uhg, I'm rambling. You get the point.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

double post sorry

7

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

I hate 2 mostly because of his annoying changes to the pitch of his voice. It sounds like a teenager and it really bugs me.

8

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

2 would never make it in the real world of comedy. Furry provides a downshifted world where you can be mediocre and still have fame and a cult following.

I don't quite see the fascination a lot of furries seem to have with utterly random, "Mad Lib" humour. It also seems to run rampant in anime groups. "LOL PIE CHEESE!! I LIKE PIE AND CHEESE! MMM CHEEZY PIE *DROOLE*"

I always blamed Hot Topic for that one. Hell, they're responsible for every other dumbass thing dumbass kids eat up, so why not that?

On the topic at hand, hate to beat a dead horse, but I gotta say it; 2 was already an example of why furries should stay away from comedy. A medal and a dash of pity to anyone who managed to sit through an entire MP3 of his rants without cutting it off and yelling something public television would have to bleep. They're like one, long, run-on sentance in all capitals read aloud by someone who sucked up a dash of helium, and decided that they wanted to grow up to be just like Jay, from the View Askewniverse.

2 is a perfect example of that kind of humour and why it sucks. "My name is...TWO! And I'm A RANTING GRYPHON!! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! IT'S LIKE I COULD'VE CALLED MYSELF FUTSNATCH THE FARTING MALAMUTE BUT THAT WOULDN'TVE BEEN AS FUNNY BECAUSE THE NAME ISN'T A NUMBER AND NOBODY NAMES THEMSELVES AFTER NUMBERS LOL."

Actually I never heard of 2 before I came to these boards but he sounds like a first class cunt.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

Actually I never heard of 2 before I came to these boards but he sounds like a first class cunt.

I wouldn't say that, but his rants and comedy sound really really opinionated and moronic. He should have kept playing the guitar.

6

Cephus · Prattler Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 107

I wouldn't say that, but his rants and comedy sound really really opinionated and moronic. He should have kept playing the guitar.

I don't know about that, a lot of his rants are right on the money, although some I think are very misguided as well. Not too hot on his radio show, it seems that whatever small success he's gotten because of it has gone to his head and listening to 2Sense really does make him sound like a prick a lot of the time.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

I don't know about that, a lot of his rants are right on the money, although some I think are very misguided as well. Not too hot on his radio show, it seems that whatever small success he's gotten because of it has gone to his head and listening to 2Sense really does make him sound like a prick a lot of the time.

The humor just didn't work for me. If you want opinionated, there is always lewis black. He's funny.

3

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

2 isnt a bad guy, but he's like a lot of people who achive-Cult celebrity- status in the fandom, myself included. We are the extroverts in the community who somehow gain a following due to either high amounts of personality flashes or just outsized egos and big mouths.

The furry humor archive is just terrible because its stupid. It stinks of desperation in the way everything must be converted into a "furry" version of itself, and by doing so, it loses the element of parody entirely. It really scares me personally, because its a window into the mind of furries who take this life they've pulled around them so seriously, they're blind to the nonsense they spew so carelessly about around themselves.

Then again..i wrote and recorded a remix of White Zombies "More Human than Human." What do you think i called it? LOLZ.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

The only problem I have with two is he is trying too hard to be the furry version of Dennis Leary or Louis Black, when at best he is really a bad version of Jim Norton. He goes off on tagents and just mindlessly wanders around. He seriously needs to work with the others that show up in his comedy club thing he does at AC.

I have no issues with Kage, since he at least tries to organize his stuff and you know it's pretty much all true and from his perspective.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

2 isnt a bad guy, but he's like a lot of people who achive-Cult celebrity- status in the fandom, myself included. We are the extroverts in the community who somehow gain a following due to either high amounts of personality flashes or just outsized egos and big mouths.

How long did it take you to learn to bend over and kiss your own fat ass?

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

It's not easy being a personality. I used to be big fish in the pond of shit around here because of having social skills and being humorous and telling stories and shit. When I fell into a serious depression last winter (which I'm still struggling against) I lost most of the people around me, got anxiety and rarely leave the house in my free time. I will try to fix it this summer.

2

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

2 isnt a bad guy, but he's like a lot of people who achive-Cult celebrity- status in the fandom, myself included. We are the extroverts in the community who somehow gain a following due to either high amounts of personality flashes or just outsized egos and big mouths.

How long did it take you to learn to bend over and kiss your own fat ass?

Depends on who you ask. Having a large ego isnt a bad thing.But the furry community as a whole has wayy too many people who consider themselves "blessed" with a larger than life or reality ego. Put these same people in a messier social situation, where they are not the experts in their surroudings, and then see how why fall under their own weight, so to speak.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

Depends on who you ask. Having a large ego isnt a bad thing.

only people with large egos say that

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Depends on who you ask. Having a large ego isnt a bad thing.

only people with large egos say that

And? you can have a large ego with a dose of reality but still be grounded.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

Depends on who you ask. Having a large ego isnt a bad thing.But the furry community as a whole has wayy too many people who consider themselves "blessed" with a larger than life or reality ego. Put these same people in a messier social situation, where they are not the experts in their surroudings, and then see how why fall under their own weight, so to speak.

I think being a good person and caring about the fact that people are enjoying ones company is a good thing, just having an ego and being a big shot among furries is bleh and nothing to kiss yer own ass about.

1

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

I think being a good person and caring about the fact that people are enjoying ones company is a good thing, just having an ego and being a big shot among furries is bleh and nothing to kiss yer own ass about.

1

Would that be the case, i wonder what the fandom would be like. As for being a big shot..i really dont care. I like to make money in the fandom,and the more people know me, the more i make. oh well.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

Would that be the case, i wonder what the fandom would be like. As for being a big shot..i really dont care. I like to make money in the fandom,and the more people know me, the more i make. oh well.

Then stop blathering about how OMG P0PULAR you are and go make some money. WHen you can support yourself and your family on Furry, *then* and ONLY *then* will you be a success.

Frankly, I don't know who the fuck you are, and even if you did I wouldn't buy your shit.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Then stop blathering about how OMG P0PULAR you are and go make some money. WHen you can support yourself and your family on Furry, *then* and ONLY *then* will you be a success.

Frankly, I don't know who the fuck you are, and even if you did I wouldn't buy your shit.

I'll draw you some dickgirls for half-price. This weeks special. But lets be friends!

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

2 isnt a bad guy, but he's like a lot of people who achive-Cult celebrity- status in the fandom, myself included. We are the extroverts in the community who somehow gain a following due to either high amounts of personality flashes or just outsized egos and big mouths.

I like to make money in the fandom,and the more people know me, the more i make. oh well.

OK, I'll bite... who are you?

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

For starters i wrote the article "mommy why does that fat man have a tail",
was one of the founders of the mephit furmeet in memphis, and i was the one who was animating the first stab at a movie adaptation of David Hopkins Jack.Thankfully i never finished that train wreck.

And i sign my artwork Tilt.

I used to go by Dr.Blair on Sa, then left and came back as Laser Vampire.
I do select paintings for people now, along with badges at cons. Ivn tabled at Confurence,Midwest, and memphis of course.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Tilt?

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Yep.

the one and only.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

I thought it was you, you ass. Can't get away from you, can I? :D

This should be enter-fuckin-taining. Go on, get your bastard-on.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Im sending screaming cunt-robots to your house to kick over your mailbox.

LOL

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Please do. I've been trying to move that sombitch forever now and it aint moving for anyone.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

What the hey is with you two?

And Blair/Tilt, if you were trying to make a movie adaptation of Jack that makes you the Antichrist.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

What the hey is with you two?

And Blair/Tilt, if you were trying to make a movie adaptation of Jack that makes you the Antichrist.

We've known each other longer then we should admit to. Hell, at one point I think we nearly thrown out of MFM for being so drunk and loud.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

WAS, is the appropriate title. I liked the strip at first, approached david about doing an animated version, but when the tone of the stories changed, and the stupid friend cameo thing got to be too annoying, I killed the project. And all thats left is the teasers i made, about 12% of the animation done, and some of the music for the movie done.

I wanted to make some money on the thing, thats all. But i appreciate the anti-christ comment. Makes me feel better i killed the fucking project.

And Creature and I are old friends, i think we conspired to dump a fursuiter in a garbage dumpster at one point?

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

...was one of the founders of the mephit furmeet in memphis

mephit furmeet

...Southern furs suck ass man. :)

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Plus last year's mfm i got so wasted on JD i was screaming at fursuiters and trying to kick them but i couldn't keep my balance as my fiancee dragged me back to our room.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

...Southern furs suck ass man. :)

No we don't.

We violate it. There is a BIG difference.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

...was one of the founders of the mephit furmeet in memphis

mephit furmeet

...Southern furs suck ass man. :)

Not nearly as much as cali-furs do. Everytime i hear about california i want to vomit.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Not nearly as much as cali-furs do. Everytime i hear about california i want to vomit.

Cali-furs are just weird. A lot of them are just desperate dotbombers who are doing anything they can to get by. I know of at least a dozen that are in "furhouses" of no less then 6 people just so they can afford to live. That'd drive me nuts. Course, I'm not going to be any better, since I'm looking to do it with five. But that's just so I can save money up to buy a house.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Its scary what people will do to get closer to the furreh.

Its like anime fags who try to date japanese people just so they can be CLOSER TO THE ANIME.LOL.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Japanophiles. Sad, sad, sad.

Remember when this was about Furry comedy?

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

I do. To put the thread back on track:

Whats worse? A terrible regular comedian or and furry theme'd mediocre one? I vote both for burning in the fire, but a laughs a laugh.

Ranting should be left to the experts, dennis leary and bill hicks come to mind.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Dennis Leary, Bill Hicks, Louis Black, Jim Norton, ect.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Speaking of comedy, i want to add a section to the site called "Furry Obits"

there have been a number of furs who either died, offed themselves, or were killed, and we should make a shrine to them. For LOLz.

Rackett Raccoon comes to mind. He hung himself in his closet in that goddamn awful suit he had because his dad kept telling him he'd get aids from furries.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Who was that kid in college that jumped off his dorm roof? Was a couple years back, if I remember right. I got so much shit because I seriously wanted to know how high he bounced. Anyway, throw this over to the suggestions department.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

Tilt? None of this has made me any wiser, and Google doesn't yield anything that seems to fit. Gimme links! Hang out your dirty linen!

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

Who was that kid in college that jumped off his dorm roof?

StarsPyre. Yes, dragons do not exist. He killed himself as they didn't... and he so wanted to be one. (Well, that's a minimal part.) Of course, upon hearing this, I uttered "Now they never will.", and really pissed off a (former) friend of StarsPyre.

..no, I still don't feel bad.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Seriously wish someone had video. I want to know how high he bounced.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

Seriously wish someone had video. I want to know how high he bounced.

That is terrible.
And awesome.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

Hum. Truth be told I wanted to go to mephit this year, but only cause I live just a few hours away from it. Haha.

Dont you just hate irony?

Griphonix · Prattler Joined: 02 Mar 2005 Posts: 165

That's kinda funny, but it's also messed up that people let it get that bad without doing anything.

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Tilt? None of this has made me any wiser, and Google doesn't yield anything that seems to fit. Gimme links! Hang out your dirty linen!

Ive taken all my art off the web to keep people from fucking with or stealing it. I have some new stuff ill be posting under a new artist name, but for right now, nothing.

I really dont put much out because i make enough on small commissions to make up for not doing a shitload of art.

21st Century Digital Boy · Venter Joined: 27 Dec 2003 Posts: 202

Rackett Raccoon comes to mind. He hung himself in his closet in that goddamn awful suit he had because his dad kept telling him he'd get aids from furries.

Details?

Blair · Coadjutor Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 86

Rackett Raccoon comes to mind. He hung himself in his closet in that goddamn awful suit he had because his dad kept telling him he'd get aids from furries.

Details?

Rackett Raccoon was a fursuiter in memphis, pretty young guy, i think 17 or 18. He used to hang with me and another artist. I couldn't tolerate him, he was too annoying, got into the fandom too deeply, just was annoying and stupid.

But my friend lee continued to hang with him, probably because he has more patience than me.I didnt see rackett again until Memphit Furmeet 2003. He showed up in the most horrific raccoon suit ive ever seen. It was fucking disturbing, gigantic soulless eyes, big red lips..and this is how he bought it.

About three weeks after mfm, lee called me and pointed me to the obits in the commercial appeal. There he was, dead. The cause of death was suicide. But i found out later he hung himself in his fursuit...in the closet.

oops.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Part of me wants to say that's sad, but I know if I do I'll feel dirty and need to wash with a brillo pad and borax when I get home.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

Ditto.

Ditto seems to be the NEW HIP PHRASE.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Not nearly as much as cali-furs do. Everytime i hear about california i want to vomit.

Gotta agree with you there, being from Cali myself and having alot of exposure to Ca-furs...case in point, I was on a roadtrip with some friends to San Diego a few weeks ago, and we got stuck in traffic behind some fat bearded bald guy sticking his hairy middle finger out at us, with a Sabrina the skunk sticker on the back window of his bright pink jeep.
Only in California, folks.
At least...I hope so.

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

So I listened to 2 for the first time.

The MP3 I listened to was the one where he rants about sequels. It was very badly edited. A real hack'n'slash job. I don't know if it's the same with all his clips, but it's not just one long rant; it's a rant that has bits and pieces chopped out of it. There are parts you could just tell where there has been a cut'n'paste -- maybe the edited out parts were too EXTREEM, maybe they just weren't all that funny -- but from my experience in radio, you should at least try and do a better job of putting your cut'n'pastes together.

As for the actual content, some lines got a wry grin from me. The rest is him blabbing on, "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KICK THEM IN THE SHINS WITH A BICYCLE CAUSE I'M EXTREEEEEEM!" Yeah, right. Maybe if you'd put down your copy of Fight Club, you actually carry out half the stuff you say you'd do. But for all your attempted conviction of "I'm going to burn down the department store", I doubt you'd come anywhere close to doing something like that, 2.

To be honest, he sounds like a pussy hiding his own insecurities with a mask of rage. It isn't even convincing rage. But I can just imagine the countless passive individuals who go: "Wow, he sounds really pissed! I like his conviction! Fill my bubbling brain with your wisdom, 2, for I have no strong opinions of my own! Let me latch on to you like a leech!" I, on the other hand, find it condescending. Want to rant? Fine. But you have to convince me better.

With someone like Bill Hicks or Lewis Black, I can believe their conviction. For example, I truly believe Bill Hicks' conviction when he said drugs had done good things for the world, that he thought Bush was a cocksucker, and that he really was beamed up by aliens. But as for 2, I don't believe he'd come even come close to lighting a motolov and hurling it at the store.

Sticking it up his ass, on the other hand, I can believe.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

2 the Ranting Gryphon is a loud, idiotic asshole, which can be said about furries in general.

He's got an annoying voice, he's hard to understand because of his chainsaw editing, and he curses too fucking much.

He also needs to stop with that techno shit.

Ray Prower · Prattler Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 166

2 the Ranting Gryphon is a loud, idiotic asshole, which can be said about furries in general.

He's got an annoying voice, he's hard to understand because of his chainsaw editing, and he curses too fucking much.

He also needs to stop with that techno shit.

The cursing is pretty much his whole shtick. In fact, that was the first thing my friend told me about 2 when he was trying to get me to listen. "Oh yeah, he curses a lot" or something like that. It gets annoying and old very fast.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT ANIME MASTURBATION GEEZ DAMN

I agree completely that his voice sucks and the techno needs to go.

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

2's still a furry. His 'fursona lol' appears on fchan whenever gryphon threads pop up, which can only be described as 'angry gryphon w/a big cock ok'. He's buried his FurNation site with good reason; any prospective employer'd find the first Google hit for 2 would point to a page where his 'innocent stage persona' is getting fucked in the ass by huge-dicked dinosaurs. He is a 'professional comic' now, y'know. Who took his name from a dream. About gryphons.

His works are as unique as his character. Hmm, he takes something everyone hates, throws lots of SA-quality jokes into it... if something's supposed to be good, does it cure cancer? Does it suck my cock? Add more hyperbole! Hyperbole is the spirit of comedy. All else fails, pretend to be Dennis Miller. This formula hasn't changed in the past five years or so he's been doing this. This guy's the result of furry as a collective evolving limbs to compete with the surrounding organisms, and doing it in its own typically mindless way.

like a pussy hiding his own insecurities

And here we wondered why he pretends to be a powerful mythological beast with a cock that hangs down to his knees!

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

He also needs to stop with that techno shit.

Bill Hicks had Hendrix and Dylan. Lewis Black has AC/DC. 2 has fruity techno.

There's something else that unconvincing about 2. And that is his name is '2'. And not just '2', but '2 the Ranting Gryphon'. "Hello, what's your name?" "2 the Ranting Gryphon. Want to hear me rant?" "No, get away from me, you freak." "YOU CAPITALISTIC WHOREMONGER! I'LL PUNCH YOUR THROAT WITH AN ALARM CLOCK!" "Yeah. Whatever. Just stand over there."

Gryphons are things you find in Harry Potter movies. End of story.

like a pussy hiding his own insecurities

And here we wondered why he pretends to be a powerful mythological beast with a cock that hangs down to his knees!

Touche.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

http://2sense.tailpuff.com

The archives of 2's radio show. Listening to it is the equivalent of jamming red-hot spikes into your ears. I defy you to listen to it for more than a minute without ramming your head into the monitor.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

"Hello, what's your name?" "2 the Ranting Gryphon. Want to hear me rant?" "No, get away from me, you freak." "YOU CAPITALISTIC WHOREMONGER! I'LL PUNCH YOUR THROAT WITH AN ALARM CLOCK!" "Yeah. Whatever. Just stand over there."

That sounds so much better If you read it with 2's voice.

http://2sense.tailpuff.com

The archives of 2's radio show. Listening to it is the equivalent of jamming red-hot spikes into your ears. I defy you to listen to it for more than a minute without ramming your head into the monitor.

I used to listen to it EVERY WEEK while playing a Sonic 3 and Knuckles Rom. I don't remember much of it now fortunately.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

I used to listen to it EVERY WEEK while playing a Sonic 3 and Knuckles Rom.

HOW?!

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

You know, i'm not sure. Nothing stuck with my mind so it obviosuly wasn't worth remembering. All I recall is him always being like HEY <adjective>-FOX HAS AN ANNOUNCMENT ONLY <time> TO REGISTER FOR <con>!

Oh I also remember a contest where they played some weird sound and had people guess what it was. The correct answer was the noise made when you slice somebody's neck open.

Also they did stupid laws for states each week. Peanuts couldn't be sold in some state after sunset because that's when black people sold them.

My sonic rom was quite impressive though having it beaten with every combination of characters with all the emeralds or none at all.

This site cured me just so you know.

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

My sonic rom was quite impressive though having it beaten with every combination of characters with all the emeralds or none at all.

I have an authentic S&K+S3 game cartridge with the save states set up in that way. Did that back when S&K was new. NO HELP FROM QUICK SAVES. And I digress.

Yeah, that archive pretty much sums up his life's work. Who needs to listen to the damn files when they're titled 'There is a sticky asshole waiting for everyone', 'My ass is hungry for some love-rod', 'Children have cleaner vaginas'? Praise to whoever implemented that system.

Genghis · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 322

That sounds so much better If you read it with 2's voice.

I still think he sounds like Nerdshoe.

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

"Hello, what's your name?" "2 the Ranting Gryphon. Want to hear me rant?" "No, get away from me, you freak." "YOU CAPITALISTIC WHOREMONGER! I'LL PUNCH YOUR THROAT WITH AN ALARM CLOCK!" "Yeah. Whatever. Just stand over there."

That sounds so much better If you read it with 2's voice.

I plan to do a one-man play called "2 and Me: A Gryphon I've Never Actually Met". All his lines will be performed using my impersonation of his voice. So far, it sounds a little like an irate Steve Urkel.

Tickets selling now.

Iconoclastic · Vociferator Joined: 08 Mar 2005 Posts: 338

What's worse than listening to 2 is hearing his fanboys obsessively regurgitate his lines as if he was on the same level as Oscar Wilde. :x

Cephus · Prattler Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 107

http://2sense.tailpuff.com

The archives of 2's radio show. Listening to it is the equivalent of jamming red-hot spikes into your ears. I defy you to listen to it for more than a minute without ramming your head into the monitor.

2Sense used to be decent, back when it was an hour show, twice a month. This 90-120 minutes a week crap is ridiculous though and the last show I listened to (4-29-05) really sucked. All the somewhat interesting stuff is now buried in utter crap.

Strychnine Velcro · Rasophore Joined: 05 Oct 2004 Posts: 58

This seems like a good opportunity to bring up Austin Wolfclaw's 2-inspired rant.

http://www.furnation.com/austinwolfclaw/multimedia.html

"The Pussification of America". Truly one of the funniest things I've heard, but not in the way he intended.

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

Austin needs to stop eating pixie sticks.

Strychnine Velcro · Rasophore Joined: 05 Oct 2004 Posts: 58

He says some words, but all I can hear is this -

http://rapidshare.de/files/2140566/wolfclawremix.mp3.html

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

WELL IF IT MAKES YOU ALL HAPPY 2 ANNOUNCED THAT HE'S NOT DOING 2SENSE MUCH LONGER CAUSE IT'S TOO PREDICTABLE.

LOL HE MUST READ THESE FORUMS.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

lol :(

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

So how long until somebody stumbles onto a forum or LJ post where we're blamed for it?

Ray Prower · Prattler Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 166

Hahaha, good job guys.

>_>

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

LOLOCAUST