Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

I need help coming up with a bunch of really bad, corny jokes about furries for a future project I have planned. Here's what I have so far;

Q: Why do so many furries come out of the closet?
A: Because they can't fit in there!

Q: How many furries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. They make the lightbulb screw them!

Q: What do you get when you cross the furry fandom with the SCA?
A: Dungeons and Drag-Queens!

Q: What do you call it when a fursuiter has trouble in bed?
A: Textile dysfunction!

Q: What do you get when you have a furry buried up to it's neck in sand?
A: More sand!

Can you help me come up with some more?

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

There was a babyfur who was SO ugly...

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

Furries are the punchlines to their own jokes.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

Thank you! He was SO ugly... That people kept thinking he iapered the wrong end!

Strychnine Velcro · Rasophore Joined: 05 Oct 2004 Posts: 58

An oldie -

Q : Why did the furry cross the road?
A : His dick got stuck in the chicken.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

So a guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me six double vodkas!" The bartender says "Whoa! You must have had one hell of a day." The guy says "I'll say! I just found out my son's a furry!" The bartender says "How do you know?" The guy says "Last night he came home from a party, and the next thing I knew he was blowing chunks!" The bartender says "Well, that sounds normal. What makes you think he's a furry?" And the guy says "You don't understand, "Chunks" is the name of my DOG!"

CrazyBomber · Prattler Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 137

An oldie -

Q : Why did the furry cross the road?
A : His dick got stuck in the chicken.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He was running away from a horny furvert.

There was a furry who was SO ugly, that even wild animals avoid to attack him.

Dad! In the school they call me furry!
Wow! Come here quick, honey! The dog is talking to me.

Xarai · Coadjutor Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 87

Ugh. Just go to http://www.furnation.com/"humor"/.

Worst Thread Ever.

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

Textile dysfunction, i laughed out loud at that. Good stuff, pitty i can only make situation wise cracks, i can't make a joke to save my life.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

i can't make a joke to save my life.

Give it a try, they're SUPPOSED to be bad.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Anyone wanna finish this one?
A babyfur, a rabbi, and a preist walk into a bar...

Foxid · Venter Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 298

Anyone wanna finish this one?
A babyfur, a rabbi, and a preist walk into a bar...

...But the Rabbi ducks, cos he's the only one not staring at little boys. OH!

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

How many furries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Trick question, furries only know how to screw dogs.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Anyone wanna finish this one?
A babyfur, a rabbi, and a preist walk into a bar...

...But the Rabbi ducks, cos he's the only one not staring at little boys. OH!

You are correct, sir!

Tass · Prattler Joined: 05 Mar 2005 Posts: 178

Anyone wanna finish this one?
A babyfur, a rabbi, and a preist walk into a bar...

...But the Rabbi ducks, cos he's the only one not staring at little boys. OH!

HOOOOYOOOOO!

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

So a guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me six double vodkas!" The bartender says "Whoa! You must have had one hell of a day." The guy says "I'll say! I just found out my son's a furry!" The bartender says "How do you know?" The guy says "Last night he came home from a party, and the next thing I knew he was blowing chunks!" The bartender says "Well, that sounds normal. What makes you think he's a furry?" And the guy says "You don't understand, "Chunks" is the name of my DOG!"

I dug this one.

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

My attempt

Whats the difference between a furry and a dogfucker?

About 10 years in the fandom

Foxid · Venter Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 298

What does every sexual fettish known to mankind have in common?

If you put 'furry' in front of the name, there's probably an LJ group devoted to it.

(More of a sad fact than a joke, really.)

SkunkDogFromSpace · Venter Joined: 05 Jun 2005 Posts: 222

Didn't dear to post on this untill i got some joke too and after 5 hours of thinking i came up with this;

"What did praying mantis-morph say after yiff?
BUUURB!"

A lousy one.. BUT STILL! *erhem* You guys saved my day with those jokes :D Mock the furries!

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

What does every sexual fettish known to mankind have in common?

If you put 'furry' in front of the name, there's probably an LJ group devoted to it.

(More of a sad fact than a joke, really.)

Haha too true.

SkunkDogFromSpace · Venter Joined: 05 Jun 2005 Posts: 222

i found a new one;

"What sould you do when your dick goes into goose pimples?
Get your dick out of the goose and stop being furry"

Philip Savage · Prattler Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 129

Ugh. Just go to http://www.furnation.com/"humor"/.

Worst Thread Ever.

Damn. You got to it before I did...like a year before I did.

Philip Savage · Prattler Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 129

Ugh. Just go to http://www.furnation.com/humor/.

Worst Thread Ever.

Anyway, I've been bored enough to be subjected to its horrors. Damn. I hope this isn't the best of furry written humor, but I have this horrible feeling that it is. Furries aren't exactly know for their humor, anyway. Unfortunately, they're more known for their freaks...which, incedentally, are about 92% of the fandom.

Doom · Rasophore Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 56

What's with this Night of the Living Thread stuff? It's been happening alot lately, and it makes me cringe each time. Some are almost as bad as when I replied to someone's LJ post of them threatening to punch me at a con over 1.5 years after it was posted.

Foxid · Venter Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 298

What's with this Night of the Living Thread stuff? It's been happening alot lately, and it makes me cringe each time. Some are almost as bad as when I replied to someone's LJ post of them threatening to punch me at a con over 1.5 years after it was posted.

It's a severe case of "I wanna be e-popular too and post on CYD" compounded with "I'm a f'king moron who doesn't know how to read the 'last post' date" and a distinct lack of any forum etiquette whatsoever. Diagnosis: Terminal.

Philip Savage · Prattler Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 129

What's with this Night of the Living Thread stuff? It's been happening alot lately, and it makes me cringe each time. Some are almost as bad as when I replied to someone's LJ post of them threatening to punch me at a con over 1.5 years after it was posted.
It's a severe case of "I wanna be e-popular too and post on CYD" compounded with "I'm a f'king moron who doesn't know how to read the 'last post' date" and a distinct lack of any forum etiquette whatsoever. Diagnosis: Terminal.

That or I accidentally read the date Doom joined instead of the date he posted the link. Or perhaps it's just that I accidentally clicked the Submit button instead of the Preview button, so I didn't exactly have much of a chance to look it over carefully. Jeez, man. It was a mistake. People make mistakes. Sorry.

If I was confused and you were talking about someone else, I'm probably still going to be severely flamed for apologizing.

stinkweedskunk · Prattler Joined: 14 Nov 2005 Posts: 122

What's with this Night of the Living Thread stuff? It's been happening alot lately, and it makes me cringe each time. Some are almost as bad as when I replied to someone's LJ post of them threatening to punch me at a con over 1.5 years after it was posted.
It's a severe case of "I wanna be e-popular too and post on CYD" compounded with "I'm a f'king moron who doesn't know how to read the 'last post' date" and a distinct lack of any forum etiquette whatsoever. Diagnosis: Terminal.

That or I accidentally read the date Doom joined instead of the date he posted the link. Or perhaps it's just that I accidentally clicked the Submit button instead of the Preview button, so I didn't exactly have much of a chance to look it over carefully. Jeez, man. It was a mistake. People make mistakes. Sorry.

If I was confused and you were talking about someone else, I'm probably still going to be severely flamed for apologizing.

Naw, it happened to me in another section of this forum. Same person that got pissed off at it too, lol. Just too lazy to scroll down to threads that only THEY are interested in I guess.