Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

I've seen this happen a lot with furries. Meet someone, online date, and have a rediculous online wedding. People who do this range from 13 to, pathetically, adulthood. I've always wondered how those marriages ended. In ancient African custom in many tribes, one just throws the other's stuff out of the hut and commences ignoring. I imagine it would be mostly the same thing online. The block function: not just a conveniant mute button, but also an e-judge capable of divorces.
I'm interested, I've never seen any high-profile e-weddings. Just some pathetic things on Neopets when I was younger, and on role play boards between "characters" with the conveniant excuse of "It's not REALLY me!!" for the cybersex. Are there any high-profile and hilarious e-weddings anyone's seen?

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

Do you mean e-weddings only regarding furries or e-weddings in general? Because a couple people who tried getting married in an MMORPG ended up getting murdered along with the priest and their guests by my brother, but I'm not sure that's what you're looking for.

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

I don't really mind, and damn that must have been amusing.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

Well alright here goes. Back in the early 90's there was a very addictive first person online rpg, a precursor to evercrack, called Meridian 59. It featured a lot of things, like guilds, percentage based stats, all that jazz, but it's not important.

What IS important is that you could get married, and when people get married they have to make a long and arduous trek through public places. Meridian was a very unfriendly RPG and if you weren't in a building with a store NPC, you coulud attack and kill ANYONE over a certain number of hitpoints. This caused a huge amount of PKers to surge, none more annoying then my brother, who played it religiously. Foolishly, the wedding party broadcast it's plans to get married over the entire server. My brother's character was ridiculously powerful, could turn invisible, and could turn pretty much anything into ash in a couple spells. What he would do is wait in a high traffic area, paralyze a party-goer, blind him, kill him, and rob him, repeat as much as necessary.

Well eventually they wised up to what was going on becuase when you got killed in this game, It would say stuff like NOOB has been murdered by PKer or something like that, so they started travelling in large, large groups. This did not deter my brother as he followed them to the wedding ceremony and snuck through the door as it opened (it was one of those slowly opening/closing portcullis things). As the player designated as the "priest" began the ceremony, My brother uncloaked and hadokened a blast the size of an SUV into his chest. He then promptly slew the bride, groom, and a huge portion of the party guests. Also, he stole the wedding rings, something I found HILARIOUS. He escaped with his life in the end, but the mods suspended his account. Actually, they send you to a "jail" where you can't do anything until they remove you. But anyways, hope that wasn't too boring, it's the only interweb wedding I know of.

cheberet · Coadjutor Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 71

I've only ever seen it go as far as claiming someone to be your e-fiancee, which can be pretty creepy as well when both parties are fourteen. (or fourteen and thirty.)

Not quite the same but depressing in and of itself.

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

As the player designated as the "priest" began the ceremony, My brother uncloaked and hadokened a blast the size of an SUV into his chest. He then promptly slew the bride, groom, and a huge portion of the party guests. Also, he stole the wedding rings, something I found HILARIOUS.

After reading that, I now think Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are pussies.

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

I've only ever seen it go as far as claiming someone to be your e-fiancee, which can be pretty creepy as well when both parties are fourteen. (or fourteen and thirty.)

Not quite the same but depressing in and of itself.

I saw a 12 year old/26 year old couple on an RP board once. I was just 14, and thought it was horrific.

Those, poor, poor nerds o.O

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

http://fchan.hentaiplanet.net/read.php/dis/1123569929/l40

Best e-proposal ever!

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

http://fchan.hentaiplanet.net/read.php/dis/1123569929/l40

Best e-proposal ever!

Shooting a little high, aren't we?

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

The line that won it for me was...

P.S. I'm very attractive, can you try to be attractive too?

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

I don't know what he's expecting. I mean, does he think there's a hidden cache of hot single internet women that's going to spring up and screw him senseless now htat he has invoked the power of Fchan?

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

Possibly. 83% of all non-fucking bitches on the internet use fchan, according to statistics I just made up.

LoKi · Venter Joined: 09 Mar 2005 Posts: 262

I've only ever seen it go as far as claiming someone to be your e-fiancee, which can be pretty creepy as well when both parties are fourteen. (or fourteen and thirty.)

Not quite the same but depressing in and of itself.

That should make the ALoD... lol

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

It happens fairly often on FurryMUCK. Probably other MU*s as well. About half of the participants are like disturbingly involved with the relationship, the rest take it as a silly IC game in a chatroom. The more involved ones are way more to fun to fuck with.

A little story. Feel free to skip a few paragraphs, the next few aren't funny. Once there was a fox and a vixen who'd been happily married. And there was another fox and a tigress who were also married. And I mean in the traditional American monogamous heterosexual sense, not the 'we're gay-pawfasted but open and both sleep around' sense. Well, the bad fox who was married to the vixen was easily given to temptation. In that he was sneaking around with the tigress, and wasn't too good at keeping secrets. He particularly wasn't good at keeping secrets from a certain kitsune. And the kitsune wasn't good at keeping out of things he wasn't invited to, and ended up using some security holes in the FuzzBall MUCK to catch some incriminating logs between the bad fox and the tigress. And did some character hacking. And broke into the bad fox's Email.

Well, the kitsune ended up pissing off the server admins for those (and a few other things, lying about his age, using fake Email accounts, lagging the server, lalalalala). Upon his ban, he let everyone know that the bad fox was sleeping with tigress. The vixen flipped out and refused to speak to him for months. The good fox dumped the tigress and they parted peacefully. And the bad fox left the MUCK, as practically everyone hated him.

The funny bit is that the good fox and the tigress were engaged in real life, and the drama-bomb permanently broke them up. The bad fox was so obsessed with the MUCK drama that he ended up failing classes and quit college. And the vixen's player... well, he wasn't really going anywhere anyway, and ended up spending a while crying grease.

And I got a nice picture of a kitsune holding an M16 to a fox's head out of the deal. Bonus.

(Oh, Estrugo knows their names. The bad fox was kinda Alice's adopted uncle.)

Related to the e-marriage bit is the pack bit. Here, half a dozen people get together and join a pack, which is chocked full of sex, circle jerking, bad RP, and rather little drama. Of course eventually you get some utter retards invited into the pack, and that causes some near-lulz when they get kicked out. There are usually a lot of children running around (average MUCK gestation period, 2-6 weeks) as NPCs, puppets, or alts. Lots of furry groupthink and intolerance of intolerance.

cheberet · Coadjutor Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 71

How do you explain to your parents that a drama-rama situation in a furry MUCK shook you up so badly that you had to quit school?

m_estrugo · Vociferator Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 534

(Oh, Estrugo knows their names. The bad fox was kinda Alice's adopted uncle.)

The things one learns!

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

The weirdest I saw was Neopets dating, back when I was little. People would put virtual ads out for their pets asking for a mate. I had a really rare bunny rabbit type pet, and I got several proposals from random people who'd seen me around. I usually ignored them, but because there was no apparent reason for these pet weddings I figured you might get babypets from it. Babies of those rabbit ones would be worth a lot, so I naively agreed to some girl with a girl Cybunny.
The Neomails back and forth were really lame. She had called for a candlelight dinner and whatever, and I just sorta typed "*my bunny smiles at your bunny and sayd (blank)*". THEN I got "Should they do it now? Do you want my Cubunny on top or yours? I can suggest some positions". My face at that time was somewhat akin to "O____________________O". I signed off without a word and spent a half hour in disturbed confusion.

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

From my short stay at furcadia, I can say the place is CRAWLING with drama ridden e-relationships. The whole thing is just, pathetic.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

Furcadia is the only program besides Head Rush that has the dubious honor of being BALEETED off my computer within one hour of installation. Even the Daikatana demo lasted a DAY.

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

My god, the sordid lives that nerds lead, i had no idea. Someone should make a made for internet movie about it.

Even the Daikatana demo lasted a DAY

Ouch

Cephus · Prattler Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 107

From my short stay at furcadia, I can say the place is CRAWLING with drama ridden e-relationships. The whole thing is just, pathetic.

Furcadia is just a pedophile's dream. I spent about 5 hours there one night talking a 12 year old girl out of meeting her 30+ year old "boyfriend" for RL sex. All I kept getting is "But he LOOOOOOOOOOVES me!"

I reported it to the Beekin, they ignored it. From what I've learned since, it happens all the time and they can't stop it so they just pretend it's not real.

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

Furcadia is just a pedophile's dream. I spent about 5 hours there one night talking a 12 year old girl out of meeting her 30+ year old "boyfriend" for RL sex. All I kept getting is "But he LOOOOOOOOOOVES me!"

I reported it to the Beekin, they ignored it. From what I've learned since, it happens all the time and they can't stop it so they just pretend it's not real.

Yeah, uh, that totally trumps my 12-25 online relationship record. Much like Troggler, Furc didn't last even one day on my computer. I made an extremely ugly rabbit girl, hopped her around in circles, visited some "dreams", and announced to myself that it blew and left.

Cephus · Prattler Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 107

Yeah, uh, that totally trumps my 12-25 online relationship record. Much like Troggler, Furc didn't last even one day on my computer. I made an extremely ugly rabbit girl, hopped her around in circles, visited some "dreams", and announced to myself that it blew and left.

It was kind of novel, back when it first started and you either had text-based or Furcadia. Didn't turn into a complete cesspool until they put the adult sections in. But yes, this was a couple years ago when I decided to give it another shot and have regretted it ever since.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Furcadia is just a pedophile's dream. I spent about 5 hours there one night talking a 12 year old girl out of meeting her 30+ year old "boyfriend" for RL sex. All I kept getting is "But he LOOOOOOOOOOVES me!"

I reported it to the Beekin, they ignored it. From what I've learned since, it happens all the time and they can't stop it so they just pretend it's not real.

Yeah, uh, that totally trumps my 12-25 online relationship record. Much like Troggler, Furc didn't last even one day on my computer. I made an extremely ugly rabbit girl, hopped her around in circles, visited some "dreams", and announced to myself that it blew and left.

That reminds me of the internet 'boyfriend' I had for a week...
Turned out to be my friend's 8 year old brother.
I felt dirty. But we were both underage, so it worked out A-Ok! :oops:

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

The internet has an effective and horrifying way of blinding people's senses of morals and values, especially pedophelia for some reason. REALLY scary because on the internet, there aren't too many ways for these guys to get caught, unless they're overwhelmingly stupid.

Lazarian · Rasophore Joined: 21 Apr 2004 Posts: 60

The internet has an effective and horrifying way of blinding people's senses of morals and values, especially pedophelia for some reason. REALLY scary because on the internet, there aren't too many ways for these guys to get caught, unless they're overwhelmingly stupid.

I'd think that those who are so inclined have a pretty sad set of morals to begin with. The internet only enables them to communicate with like-minded dysfunctionals who nurture their tendancies.

Griphonix · Prattler Joined: 02 Mar 2005 Posts: 165

Do you mean e-weddings only regarding furries or e-weddings in general? Because a couple people who tried getting married in an MMORPG ended up getting murdered along with the priest and their guests by my brother, but I'm not sure that's what you're looking for.

I've actually taken part in MMO wedding crashing. The good old "go back 2 ur rp server fags!!" raids. :D

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

I've actually taken part in MMO wedding crashing. The good old "go back 2 ur rp server fags!!" raids. :D

For some reason, hearing about people derailing an overly-serious internet event while speaking netspeak is always heart warming. What happened?

Cephus · Prattler Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 107

I'd think that those who are so inclined have a pretty sad set of morals to begin with. The internet only enables them to communicate with like-minded dysfunctionals who nurture their tendancies.

I think that's the biggest negative to the Internet is that it allows people who used to be ashamed of their perversions, and rightfully so, to find others who do the same thing and they set up little communities and then end up thinking they're as normal as everyone else.

Sorry, I don't care how many vore fans you can come up with, you're still a bunch of sick freaks who should be shot into the sun.

OMG-NEWB!~!!! · Coadjutor Joined: 25 Jun 2005 Posts: 75

I spend alot of my free time playing a game called Dark Age of Camelot if you've ever heard of it. And so far I've heard of 42 people getting married over this game. I know that because I've recieved invitations. They dress their characters in gowns and armor to look like a tuxedo... alot of times I like to step back and turn off the monitor.... go into another room and sit quietly contemplating if I should laugh uncontrollably or kill myself.

On-line Weddings = Why hasn't a bigger animal eaten you yet?

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

World of Warcraft seems to encourage this sort of behavior. You can actually obtain a wedding dress or a tuxedo in-game to wear at your virtual wedding.

My favorite e-wedding story came from WoW, though. Some poor guy proposed to his true love, and gave her a ring to seal the deal. She disenchanted the ring.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

What would be the real life equivalent of that? Ripping the diamond off and giving back the brass ring?

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I had a really bizzare encounter with an E-Marriage on Furcadia. Granted, I rarely play the ~~game~~ graphic chatroom anymore because quite frankly it's for the most part boring.

Anyway, I was playing a female character and one day out of the blue this pink rabbit walks up to me in Meovanni and asks me to marry her. She had just started playing and heard that people marry in Furc and wanted to e-marry me even though she had no clue who I was. After trying to talk my way out and reason with her I eventually decided to give in and e-marry her for shits and giggles. It's only after we get married and add the "happily married to ..." to our descriptions that she realizes that my character is female. Suddenly she doesn't want to be married to a girl anymore but lo and behond she's in a lesbian marriage. She wasn't so pleased. In the next few days I ran into her and pretended to approach her and act lovingly toward her but she still wasn't that pleased. She removed the "married to ..." from her desc but I kept it in mine to annoy her. I never saw her again soon after.

And that's my odd tale of my swift online marriage and almost as swift online divorce. :roll:

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

How did she not realize your character was a girl is beyond me. You'd think it'd be at least a LITTLE obvious.

I love the fact you chased after her and she dumped you.

"BUT HONEY I LOVE YOU!"
"STAY AWAY"

Poor, poor stoneth. He gets no love and she didn't even try counseling, now THAT'S mean.

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

I had a really bizzare encounter with an E-Marriage on Furcadia. Granted, I rarely play the ~~game~~ graphic chatroom anymore because quite frankly it's for the most part boring.

Anyway, I was playing a female character and one day out of the blue this pink rabbit walks up to me in Meovanni and asks me to marry her. She had just started playing and heard that people marry in Furc and wanted to e-marry me even though she had no clue who I was. After trying to talk my way out and reason with her I eventually decided to give in and e-marry her for shits and giggles. It's only after we get married and add the "happily married to ..." to our descriptions that she realizes that my character is female. Suddenly she doesn't want to be married to a girl anymore but lo and behond she's in a lesbian marriage. She wasn't so pleased. In the next few days I ran into her and pretended to approach her and act lovingly toward her but she still wasn't that pleased. She removed the "married to ..." from her desc but I kept it in mine to annoy her. I never saw her again soon after.

And that's my odd tale of my swift online marriage and almost as swift online divorce. :roll:

LMAO. I wish I'd done that. It's just the kind of thing I do to people. I'm relentlessly sadistic and love mindfuckery.

V3Ng3 · Rasophore Joined: 02 May 2005 Posts: 56

My friend and I knew alot of people in our WoW server, and we knew how to exploit them, because this was probably the nicest server there was, and we hated it. We needed some extra gold, so we advertised and staged a fake wedding. We sent invites to all the big players in the server and the guilds. We ended up walking away with over 700 gold each. The only problem is that technically, we are still internet married.

Sinclair · Prattler Joined: 05 Jun 2005 Posts: 125

I stay away from MMORPGs and the such. Why? Because I don't have much of a life IRL. Damned like I'm gonna make a fake one.

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

so basically it's people (who are mentally not unlike little kids it seems) playing house

Griphonix · Prattler Joined: 02 Mar 2005 Posts: 165

so basically it's people (who are mentally not unlike little kids it seems) playing house

Or little kids with mommy's credit card playing house.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

so basically it's people (who are mentally not unlike little kids it seems) playing house

Same basic principle behind Second Life or The Sims/The Sims Online.

All computer games anymore seem to either be kill-kill-kill multiplayer FPS/RTSs where 13 year olds learn all the exploits to prove they have some self worth... Or 'house' style games for those who suck at the later.

Cephus · Prattler Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 107

so basically it's people (who are mentally not unlike little kids it seems) playing house

That pretty well describes furries, doesn't it?