Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

m_estrugo · Coadjutor Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 160

While I was doing a search on the list of comics available on Keenspace, I found the entry for Stalag'99, a furry comic by Kelly Price.

Description: A furry Dr Who, were it not for the radicals who think hermaphrodites are sex sluts. Join WolfSkunk RedWolf and hir companion Sandra Felis, as they get swept into problems that only they can solve successfuly without the sexual innuendo.

(Bold text by me)

Is it just me, or is Kelly trying to blame the radicals for thinking that his strip isn't as successful as he thinks? 'Cause after reading a few trips, I consider this comic highly unattractive from many points of views: STIFF art, strambothic characters with gigantic breasts, always drawn in profile, uninteresting story arcs... Did Kelly ever consider these points? Nah, it's easier blaming the radicals that can't digest a somewhat serious comic featuring a big-boobed chimera creature with two sexs. Or something.

I'm sooo tempted to write a psychological profile of Kelly Price based on this comic and this description...

CrazyBomber · Apocrisiary Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 41

"Das komik ist eine uber scheisse, herr Oberlaitnant"
Complain from the troopers of the Waffen SS Pelzkommando "Die Tiere" to their commanding officer.

Damn! For a second I thought it was something WW2 related...

Shmeckopolis · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 103

The plus side to this? It confirms my long-held belief that curiously looking at the contents of the furry world will yield results that are either frightening, scarring, hilarious, never boring, or more than one, perhaps all 4.

Rankin · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 488

While I was doing a search on the list of comics available on Keenspace, I found the entry for Stalag'99, a furry comic by Kelly Price.

I'm sooo tempted to write a psychological profile of Kelly Price based on this comic and this description...

No! No, my child, you will be venturing into horriffic territory. Kelly Price, and his ruler-drawn hermaprodites are sure to cause pain in even the most seasoned. I stumbled upon his 'art' long ago, and reveled at how he parallels Gonterman in all; but Daveykins is too inept to use a ruler.

RUN! RUN!

Oh, he also maintains SLiRP.

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

Price is another one of those artists that has demonstrated the timeless ability to draw ad nauseum, and yet never develop in skill one slight bit.

Shmorky · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Nov 2003 Posts: 182

He's good at making perfectly symmetrical characters

Rankin · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 488

He's good at making perfectly symmetrical characters

I assume he draws half with a ruler; traces over it with a pen encrusted in semen, then folds it over for the other side of the character; adding a slight twist, and curl if he's working on perspective.

Lafarga · Recusant Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 14

Many years ago, at a convention, a group of very talented artists (who I will not name) decided to find out exactly how much liquor one would have to consume before you start drawing like Kelly Price.

The experiement was a failure. It is impossible to drink enough liquor to make you start drawing like Kelly Price.

IceCat · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 81

While I was doing a search on the list of comics available on Keenspace, I found the entry for Stalag'99, a furry comic by Kelly Price.

Description: A furry Dr Who, were it not for the radicals who think hermaphrodites are sex sluts. Join WolfSkunk RedWolf and hir companion Sandra Felis, as they get swept into problems that only they can solve successfuly without the sexual innuendo.

(Bold text by me)

Is it just me, or is Kelly trying to blame the radicals for thinking that his strip isn't as successful as he thinks? 'Cause after reading a few trips, I consider this comic highly unattractive from many points of views: STIFF art, strambothic characters with gigantic breasts, always drawn in profile, uninteresting story arcs... Did Kelly ever consider these points? Nah, it's easier blaming the radicals that can't digest a somewhat serious comic featuring a big-boobed chimera creature with two sexs. Or something.

I'm sooo tempted to write a psychological profile of Kelly Price based on this comic and this description...

I feel sorry for you, I've seen that once before, and that was enough, I've also seen his "art", if you could call it that on VCL where he is one of the more prolific bad artists there, so much so, that he's become the posterboy for all of the bad furry artists out there.

Later

IceCat

Zeis Montero · Apocrisiary Joined: 16 Mar 2004 Posts: 49

Yeah, his art's pretty bad, but in terms of sheer talentless-ness I think NightKrawler's got him beat.

Also, WolfSkunk RedWolf? HAHAHAHAHA

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

"Das komik ist eine uber scheisse, herr Oberlaitnant"
Complain from the troopers of the Waffen SS Pelzkommando "Die Tiere" to their commanding officer.

Damn! For a second I thought it was something WW2 related...

Oh fuck, I can't believe I understood just enough of that to fall over laughing. I must stop paying attention to linguistics when the subject presents itself.

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

Price is another one of those artists that has demonstrated the timeless ability to draw ad nauseum, and yet never develop in skill one slight bit.

Well, as a pretty crappy 300th post, I will reply by saying this is definitely good enough for the high school newspaper. Yeah, it's better than me by a factor expressed in scientific notation, but it needs a certain something. Like to be printed on recycled newsprint and come in a box marked "fish wrapping paper" or something.

The New Meat · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 327

Who is this Nightcrawler? Tell me!

Lafarga · Recusant Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 14

Who is this Nightcrawler? Tell me!

A furry Juggalo who draws vast quantities of shitty porn, often featuring gore, tentacles, piercings, etc. Nightkrawler is sort of the Doomsday Device of shitty furry artists, in my opinion out-classing almost everyone else in sheer eyeball-gouging power.

Shmeckopolis · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 103

Also, WolfSkunk RedWolf? HAHAHAHAHA

What're you talking about?! That's a powerful and original name! It really speaks to you! And it says, "I have no talent"!

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

Iwolf wolfthink it'swolf awolf newwolf wolfform ofwolf wolfpig latinwolf.

Shmeckopolis · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 103

Move over piglatin! Here comes wolflatin! God help us...

M0us3_Zero · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 209

Who is this Nightcrawler? Tell me!

A furry Juggalo who draws vast quantities of shitty porn, often featuring gore, tentacles, piercings, etc. Nightkrawler is sort of the Doomsday Device of shitty furry artists, in my opinion out-classing almost everyone else in sheer eyeball-gouging power.

WTF?!? He calls himself a Juggalo? If he ever went to the Gathering of Juggalos, with his 'art', he'd get his ass whipped, then have faygo poured into his wounds!

He's no damn Ninja.

mouse · Coadjutor Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 662

If he ever went to the Gathering of Juggalos, with his 'art', he'd get his ass whipped, then have faygo poured into his wounds!

Gathering of the Juggalos? was that that big concert they had in cleveland? I unfortunatly know some people who went to that and still have to hear about it occassionally.

M0us3_Zero · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 209

I get the same problem.

All Juggalos talk about the GotJ every year.

Let me tell you this. If they found out that "teh fhuriez" were among them. The riots thatusually breakout afterward would be 10x worse than normal.

Juggalos hate Furries.

Not that I'm a Juggalo. I have a few tracks, but that's it.

In fact, now that I think about it, if anyone calls themselves a Juggalo or Ninja, they're probably the un-furred version of a furry. Irritating, self-centered, and as paranoid as a soccer-mom at rush hour.

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

I get the same problem.

All Juggalos talk about the GotJ every year.

Let me tell you this. If they found out that "teh fhuriez" were among them. The riots thatusually breakout afterward would be 10x worse than normal.

Juggalos hate Furries.

Not that I'm a Juggalo. I have a few tracks, but that's it.

In fact, now that I think about it, if anyone calls themselves a Juggalo or Ninja, they're probably the un-furred version of a furry. Irritating, self-centered, and as paranoid as a soccer-mom at rush hour.

Re: ninjas
WTF is meant by this? Real ninjas or something to do with Insipid Clown Pussies? Real ninjas do exist, though not practicing in service of any daimyo as in the feudal period, but then so do those dickhead ICP junkies. Be nice to sic some ninjas on those juggalos.

Re: soccer moms
You have NO idea. Try being a utility man working in the road in an affluent neighborhood. Those bitches seem to think running your ass over and leaving you for roadkill is perfectly acceptable in the course of getting home two seconds earlier. I think we should be able to defend ourselves with RPGs and miniguns. I've been sideswiped four times in three weeks. Not my vehicle, my body. I've got enough bruises to make me look like a grape.

Shmeckopolis · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 103

Juggalo Furries.... now that's funny. One can only wonder what would happen if that became the norm....

But I can attest to the soccer mom thing. My mother has tried to convince me that all women drivers are good, and all men drivers are bad, and minutes later she's in the car, breaking the rules, going over the speed limit, driving like a maniac, and cussing people out left and right. Oh, the irony...

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

One of the things I've noticed about soccer moms... though plenty other people do this... is they seem to be particularly prone to the foibles of just not planning out their route. A person who's thinking about where they're going might think "This guy is going a little slow, but I'm turning right at the next intersection, so I'll just hang behind him."

A soccer mom, on the other hand, seems to operate more with a pattern like "Hmm.. I've got to pick the kids up in 10 minutes. I wonder what Bibi will be wearing at the field. This guy's going slow.. I don't like him. I'll go around him. <gets into left lane> I wonder if we should have stir fry or pasta tonight. Is that PTA meeting Wednesday, or Thursday or OHMYGAWDTHERE'SMYTURNONTHERIGHTIGOTTATURNNOW!" Then she proceeds to screech across two or three lanes of traffic.

And what is the deal with this correlation I seem to see between soccer moms that are 5-foot-nothing, swaggering out to the parking lot in their capri pants and mules... and climbing into an SUV so freaking huge that they need to sit on a stack of phone books just to see over the dashboard????