Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Johnny S. · Recusant Joined: 21 Apr 2004 Posts: 5

So I'm going to Duckon, a sci-fi / fantasy conference. They have a furry program track. It's nothing like the insanity recently showcased on Something Awful but there'll probably be some fursuits, odd behavior and other things ripe for ridicule.

Furries ain't really my scene, but I'm curious, and if there's any interest I'll sit in on some seminars, take pictures, maybe stick my head into a hotel room party, and post what I saw.

Rankin · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 488

Furries ain't really my scene, but I'm curious...

And thus, Pandora's box was opened.

Yes, I know I just left this open-ended for a Doug Winger joke, but no, I'm not going to make it.

Michael Hirtes · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 519

So I'm going to Duckon, a sci-fi / fantasy conference. They have a furry program track. It's nothing like the insanity recently showcased on Something Awful but there'll probably be some fursuits, odd behavior and other things ripe for ridicule.

Furries ain't really my scene, but I'm curious, and if there's any interest I'll sit in on some seminars, take pictures, maybe stick my head into a hotel room party, and post what I saw.

This has all the elements of "Gee, I wonder what would happen if I stuck my winky into this plugged-in light socket here?"

And somewhere in the world, an alarm goes off and the ghost of Charles Darwin is sliding down a firehouse pole.

GoManVanGogh · Coadjutor Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 140

My advice?

Run!

Run while you can!

GoManVanGogh · Coadjutor Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 140

And somewhere in the world, an alarm goes off and the ghost of Charles Darwin is sliding down a firehouse pole.

:shock:
I'm not even gonna TRY to understand THAT one! :roll:

CrazyBomber · Apocrisiary Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 41

Before you go to that event, make sure that your life insurance has been paid, hire two or more bodyguards, hire a lawyer and wear a heavy duty bulletproof vest.

And don't forget to carry with you some mace cans, tasers and other non-lethal weapons.

Donotsue · Coadjutor Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 106

Maybe you could view throught all Keller's Furryfans.com cartoonies..
and the F-files... to know what to expect...
Then don't bathe for a week (at least) before the con so you'll blend in.
They can smell soap... =)

Don't forget to make *Churp* and *Yiff* sounds as ya enter the hotel...

And If ya get scared... seek for people with a grenade logo on their shirt! =)

IceCat · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 81

So I'm going to Duckon, a sci-fi / fantasy conference. They have a furry program track. It's nothing like the insanity recently showcased on Something Awful but there'll probably be some fursuits, odd behavior and other things ripe for ridicule.

Furries ain't really my scene, but I'm curious, and if there's any interest I'll sit in on some seminars, take pictures, maybe stick my head into a hotel room party, and post what I saw.

Well you are going to a SF con, and besides the furries you'll see more weird people outside of the fandom, They just don't seem to get much in the way of negative attention, except of course for the ones who have gone to the extreme, and there are plenty of them to go around, as you'll see, having been a veteran of SF Cons, gamming cons, and furry cons I've seen alot, and will probaboly see alot more in the future.

Later

IceCat

M0us3_Zero · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 209

You're going to a general Sci-Fi/Fantasy con?

Simple solution, my friend. Get Klingon escorts. They're so intimidating, all the phurraie idiots won't mess with you.

Now what to expect? Well, let's just say everything comes out of left field. So be prepared for weirdness. Animal Totems, People wearing Zeta symbols, general oddity.

But, on the bright side, since it's at a "everything con" as I like to call them, it won't get too weird.

SLaitila · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 126

Use after shave, a good brand preferred. That'll keep them fuckers at a distance.

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

1. Learn to growl convincingly.
Some of us do this naturally and have since earliest childhood, scaring the fuck out of teachers and doctors, but with a little practice you might get it right.

2. Dress, bathe, accessorize correctly.
Normally, in other words. As you would to apply for a mortgage at the bank.

3. Keep a 1000 yard stare going at all times.
Again, some of us have this look naturally, but with practice or a heck of a lot of being shot at you can aquire it.

This takes care of all sorts of things in sci-fi cons AND furry cons.

Johnny S. · Recusant Joined: 21 Apr 2004 Posts: 5

After re-reading my initial post (this time sober), and reading all the replies, I decided this is a horrible idea. Consider it killed.

Michael Hirtes · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 519

And somewhere in the world, an alarm goes off and the ghost of Charles Darwin is sliding down a firehouse pole.

:shock:
I'm not even gonna TRY to understand THAT one! :roll:

I guess you've never heard of the term "Darwin", have you?

Pycnopodia · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Dec 2003 Posts: 72

Micheal Hirtes, I finally got it after reading the latest post in this thread :lol:
Check this out btw, http://www.darwinawards.com/

The_Censorship_Nazi · Rasophore Joined: 07 May 2004 Posts: 59

While I don't really agree that a lot of furries are potential Darwin Award nominees, I agree that some of the more insane ones would probably fit in there very well. For instance, who hasn't wondered when Jim Groat might try and use a shotgun to turn on a rusty gasline... >:D

As for the Darwin Award books themselves, I'm really glad they're coming out with a third one. The Darwin Awards are the most hilarious awards I've ever read about!

Now if only I could find some webspace for my silly furry parody audio stuff...I've recorded some fake "fur con" announcements and a couple of fake news segments that I'd like some of y'all to hear. Anyone know of a place I can put them?

Anonymous · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 767

1. Learn to growl convincingly.
Some of us do this naturally and have since earliest childhood, scaring the fuck out of teachers and doctors, but with a little practice you might get it right.

2. Dress, bathe, accessorize correctly.
Normally, in other words. As you would to apply for a mortgage at the bank.

3. Keep a 1000 yard stare going at all times.
Again, some of us have this look naturally, but with practice or a heck of a lot of being shot at you can aquire it.

This takes care of all sorts of things in sci-fi cons AND furry cons.

You should be mounted and framed for posterity I think.

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

1. Learn to growl convincingly.
Some of us do this naturally and have since earliest childhood, scaring the fuck out of teachers and doctors, but with a little practice you might get it right.

We all are in awe at much more in touch with your inner wolf spirit or feral scallop totem or whatever you are than us mere hy00mans. I'm sure those mundanes not scared into thinking you're a misplaced pangolin soul are still suitably freaked by hearing a grown man gargle his own sinus drainage in attempt to unleash the beast within. :D

Rankin · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 488

You should be mounted and framed for posterity I think.

At least the former. Then tied up and forced to wear the gimp mask for a week or two.

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

If you learn to quack or baa convincingly, that can prove equally effective at scaring the piss out of people.

"Hey, buddy, the line starts back there."

"Piss off, I'm in a hurry."

"QUACKQUACKQUACKQUACKQUACKQUACKQUACK"

"Auuuuuugh! Get away you psycho!"

Kadius · Coadjutor Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 147

1. Learn to growl convincingly.
Some of us do this naturally and have since earliest childhood, scaring the fuck out of teachers and doctors, but with a little practice you might get it right.

2. Dress, bathe, accessorize correctly.
Normally, in other words. As you would to apply for a mortgage at the bank.

3. Keep a 1000 yard stare going at all times.
Again, some of us have this look naturally, but with practice or a heck of a lot of being shot at you can aquire it.

This takes care of all sorts of things in sci-fi cons AND furry cons.

4. Never look a furry in the eyes.

mouse · Coadjutor Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 662

Im not so sure guys...

From what I understand the fucked-up-ness of furry cons occurs because of the concentration of furries.

So, with this being a SF con - first off, there isnt going to be that many of them (furries). And secondly, the ones that are there are going to a SF con, not a 100% furry con. This shows thier world hasnt been totally, completely, enveloped by "furry fandom" yet.

In fact, according to this website for 'Duckon' there is going to be a Klingon track. Im sure that is going to wind up being the most bizarre and funny thing at this convention.

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

And if the furries get too bad, you can find a guy dressed as Chewbacca to distract them. Tell them it's the artist that calls himself Wookie and he's giving away free character drawings. Compared to Barrett dressing as RoxiKat, a beardy guy dressed as Sailor Mercury looks almost normal.

GoManVanGogh · Coadjutor Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 140

Compared to Barrett dressing as RoxiKat, a beardy guy dressed as Sailor Mercury looks almost normal.

Ah! I see you've met "Bubba"! :D

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

Only in pictures. Never been to a con of any kind, never plan on going to one.

M0us3_Zero · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 209

Im not so sure guys...

From what I understand the fucked-up-ness of furry cons occurs because of the concentration of furries.

So, with this being a SF con - first off, there isnt going to be that many of them (furries). And secondly, the ones that are there are going to a SF con, not a 100% furry con. This shows thier world hasnt been totally, completely, enveloped by "furry fandom" yet.

In fact, according to this website for 'Duckon' there is going to be a Klingon track. Im sure that is going to wind up being the most bizarre and funny thing at this convention.

Oh dear god... I gotta deal with the International Klingon Conference bringing some members to CONvergence for their yearly meeting. That means 100 guys in klingon garb speaking a language never meant or human ears! >.<

No wonder memberships for CONvergence 2004 are down...