Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Josh Z. · Qualificator Joined: 13 Jun 2004 Posts: 29

Hi, long time lurker, first time poster (Hi Rankin!), and my first post is brought on by a horrible experience of mine this last week. I assure you this is all true.

I recently moved to a fairly small town in central Virginia called Culpeper, voted one of americas best small towns in 1989 or something. It's got a quaint little 5-10 block downtown area full of boring little specialty stores, like places dedicated to camel figurines and other crap. I'm more of a fan of thrift stores, so I've been spending a fair bit of time walking around town and finding as many as I can.

Last week I stumbled upon a new thrift store just behind some bike shop. It was a very cozy place, with clothes upstairs and assorted riffraff downstairs. It had a pretty good collection of used CDs as well as DVDs and VHS tapes and junky old stereo equipment, all of which are thrift store GOLD to me. Further hunting came up with some shitty Rob Liefeld comics from 2001-2002 and some X-Men action figures, which is pretty odd for a thrift store, leading me to believe that this was the best thrift shop EVAR!!1

I stumbled through another room of crap and my eyes landed on a pile of illustrations nicely backed and bordered by nice stiff paper. I picked it up and started flipping through it. The first one was a group of anthromorph cats posing on something, fully clothed in camo gear. Okay, that seems innocent enough. Not very alarming. People draw humanoid cats all the time, right? I started flipping some more through the stack. The next picture was of a horse. At this point my brain was only slowly registering the details my eyes were looking at.

It was a horse... An anthromorph horse... A female anthro horse... In a bondage top... With its tits hanging out... Massively oversized DDD tits... That's about as far as I got as I let out a scream, shoved the stack back onto the shelf where I had found it, and ran out of the store. The lady behind the counter asked me if I had found what I was looking for and the only thing I could do is yell 'NO!!!!' as I was making my way out the door.

I found fucking FURRY PORN in a THRIFT SHOP in a PODUNK TOWN in BUMFUCK, VIRGINIA. What the HELL? WHERE did it come from? WHO did it belong to? WHY is it THERE???? WHY?? WHY EVEN in REAL LIFE can I not escape THE FURRY??

Of course now that I've gained my composure, I'm tempted to go back and buy the stack for cheap and sell it on furbid for a nice profit.

Rankin · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 488

Christ, Josh..

If it had Rob Liefeld comics, you're damned lucky that this is all that occured - it's obviously a front for 'teh ghey', in the very least. I'm somewhat suprised that you didn't have some 600lb guy asking for you to feed his asshole, or worse, rub up against you and ask for similar.

That boy spends entirely too much time with those cows,
- R

Computolio · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 349

If I were to find furry porn in real life I'd tell it to GET BACK IN THE INTERNET, and if it didn't get back in the internet I'd stuff it into the nearest ethernet jack.

Sehvekah · Qualificator Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 22

WHY?? WHY EVEN in REAL LIFE can I not escape THE FURRY??

First off, you're living in "one of the best small towns in America". Seeing as I've lived for nine years in a town that's repeatedly made that list I can say, first hand, those awards are a crock of shit. Secondly, the universe at large has a rather, warped, sense of humor I've found, thus you found the furry porn there for no other reason than it would bother you.

That said, you should defenately get it to sell on furbid. Not only will you then make a profit, but then it won't be lurking around in the thrift shop anymore(alternately, if you really want to get rid of it you could buy it, sell just enough to cover your losses, and then brun the rest. Then again, that's a bit like trying to keep the Titanic afloat with a teaspoon and some tinfoil).

Paul · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 138

Sehvekah is right, buy it all and sell it; not only will you make a nice profit, you'll save some unfortunate kid from having his/her innocence torpedoed by accidentally coming across that picture of the bondage gear-wearing horse.

M0us3_Zero · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 209

Hi, long time lurker, first time poster (Hi Rankin!), and my first post is brought on by a horrible experience of mine this last week. I assure you this is all true.

I recently moved to a fairly small town in central Virginia called Culpeper, voted one of americas best small towns in 1989 or something. It's got a quaint little 5-10 block downtown area full of boring little specialty stores, like places dedicated to camel figurines and other crap. I'm more of a fan of thrift stores, so I've been spending a fair bit of time walking around town and finding as many as I can.

Last week I stumbled upon a new thrift store just behind some bike shop. It was a very cozy place, with clothes upstairs and assorted riffraff downstairs. It had a pretty good collection of used CDs as well as DVDs and VHS tapes and junky old stereo equipment, all of which are thrift store GOLD to me. Further hunting came up with some shitty Rob Liefeld comics from 2001-2002 and some X-Men action figures, which is pretty odd for a thrift store, leading me to believe that this was the best thrift shop EVAR!!1

I stumbled through another room of crap and my eyes landed on a pile of illustrations nicely backed and bordered by nice stiff paper. I picked it up and started flipping through it. The first one was a group of anthromorph cats posing on something, fully clothed in camo gear. Okay, that seems innocent enough. Not very alarming. People draw humanoid cats all the time, right? I started flipping some more through the stack. The next picture was of a horse. At this point my brain was only slowly registering the details my eyes were looking at.

It was a horse... An anthromorph horse... A female anthro horse... In a bondage top... With its tits hanging out... Massively oversized DDD tits... That's about as far as I got as I let out a scream, shoved the stack back onto the shelf where I had found it, and ran out of the store. The lady behind the counter asked me if I had found what I was looking for and the only thing I could do is yell 'NO!!!!' as I was making my way out the door.

I found fucking FURRY PORN in a THRIFT SHOP in a PODUNK TOWN in BUMFUCK, VIRGINIA. What the HELL? WHERE did it come from? WHO did it belong to? WHY is it THERE???? WHY?? WHY EVEN in REAL LIFE can I not escape THE FURRY??

Of course now that I've gained my composure, I'm tempted to go back and buy the stack for cheap and sell it on furbid for a nice profit.

You Ferenghi. ^.^ Make that money!

mouse · Coadjutor Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 662

ah, eeeexcellent

note to self: continue to pour furry porn into the 2nd hand and thrift markets.

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

You'd be surprised at how many out of the way small towns have large numbers of fantasy addicted and addled kids in twenty-something bodies running around who consume furry art but aren't con attendees or furries per-se. There's a lot of overlap. But when they finally hear how much more tweaked than they that hardcore furries are, they generally are glad not to have dabbled deeper.

Tailgunner · Coadjutor Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 161

I came back from a deloyment to Germany. Fortunately, we had a couple days off, so a group of us went to Amsterdam, Holland. (Yes, we toured the "Red Light" district, and YES, I did window shop!)

Anyway, there were quite a few sex shops in that area, and sure enough, there it was porn on every shape, species, and size, and boy do I mean size!

Shmorky · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Nov 2003 Posts: 182

Virginia (mostly the Richmond area) is known for being ultra-conservative, but it houses some outrageous artists like Gwar. So... ya know... this isn't that surprising to me.