Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Coadjutor Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 75

I downloaded a few issues of Hustler Canada and was surprised to discover their mascot is a sexy anthro beaver girl:

http://www.hustlercanada.com/index2.html

Who'd have thought? So lets say if some otherwise normal guy is, oh say, fapping to some pics of real-life porn, and happens to glance over at B.J. there masturbating her little beaver tail off, does that make me wrong?

HIM. I mean him, the guy. I certainly wasn't talking about myself. Were I to see such a thing at such a delicate moment, I dare say I would not only lose my erection immediately but my genitals would crawl back into the body cavity and refuse to come out for days.

Either way, I certainly wouldn't get off on it because that would be fucked up, no matter how much sci-fi and fantasy has taught us that theoretically, relationships with non-human sentient life forms would be okay (Capt. Kirk lied to us all!)

That she has round, melon heavy breasts and a really nice, tight body and was obviously designed for someone to fap to (else they could have gone with something along the lines of that rascaly foul-mouthed rodent Conker the Squirrel) makes no differance. I don't care how much she's shaped like a human female, at the most that's wildlife you're fucking there in your head, boyo, ink and paint at the least.

Where was I...? Right. Her character is set up as the 'Editor' of the magazine, and given her wardrobe and hands-on, in-the-spotlight management style she reminds me of a less slutty version of the Zig-Zag character.

...and in case you're wondering, they do make judicious use of her naked, supple body throughout the magazine's layout. I half expect them to do an all B.J. spread eventually, as a 'joke' of course.

Goddamnit all, there needs to be a Canadian flag emoticon. Why isn't there a Canadian flag emoticon???

Mitch · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 290

I downloaded a few issues of Hustler Canada and was surprised to discover their mascot is a sexy anthro beaver girl:

http://www.hustlercanada.com/index2.html

Who'd have thought? So lets say if some otherwise normal guy is, oh say, fapping to some pics of real-life porn, and happens to glance over at B.J. there masturbating her little beaver tail off, does that make me wrong?

HIM. I mean him, the guy. I certainly wasn't talking about myself. Were I to see such a thing at such a delicate moment, I dare say I would not only lose my erection immediately but my genitals would crawl back into the body cavity and refuse to come out for days.

Either way, I certainly wouldn't get off on it because that would be fucked up, no matter how much sci-fi and fantasy has taught us that theoretically, relationships with non-human sentient life forms would be okay (Capt. Kirk lied to us all!)

That she has round, melon heavy breasts and a really nice, tight body and was obviously designed for someone to fap to (else they could have gone with something along the lines of that rascaly foul-mouthed rodent Conker the Squirrel) makes no differance. I don't care how much she's shaped like a human female, at the most that's wildlife you're fucking there in your head, boyo, ink and paint at the least.

Where was I...? Right. Her character is set up as the 'Editor' of the magazine, and given her wardrobe and hands-on, in-the-spotlight management style she reminds me of a less slutty version of the Zig-Zag character.

...and in case you're wondering, they do make judicious use of her naked, supple body throughout the magazine's layout. I half expect them to do an all B.J. spread eventually, as a 'joke' of course.

Goddamnit all, there needs to be a Canadian flag emoticon. Why isn't there a Canadian flag emoticon???

{insert grauitous beaver joke here}

Michael Hirtes · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 519

Yeah, but "Wags the Perplexed Pup" is stil teh hottness.

(j/k)

Quantum Coyote · Qualificator Joined: 12 May 2004 Posts: 40

Yeah, but "Wags the Perplexed Pup" is stil teh hottness.

(j/k)

Heh, I remember that, in "Married w/ Children".. Is that where it is from originally?

Michael Hirtes · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 519

Yeah, but "Wags the Perplexed Pup" is stil teh hottness.

(j/k)

Heh, I remember that, in "Married w/ Children".. Is that where it is from originally?

Yep. It looked like it was done in a Doug Winger sort of art style and a lot of furs actually thought DW drew that pic for them as a freelance job, but I doubt it myself (no telltale gigantic throbbing spurting weener, for one thing).

Mitch · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 290

Yeah, but "Wags the Perplexed Pup" is stil teh hottness.

(j/k)

Heh, I remember that, in "Married w/ Children".. Is that where it is from originally?

Yep. It looked like it was done in a Doug Winger sort of art style and a lot of furs actually thought DW drew that pic for them as a freelance job, but I doubt it myself (no telltale gigantic throbbing spurting weener, for one thing).

ZenZhu · Coadjutor Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 475

Back when I was in college, one of the magazines I'd buy on occasion had an ad for a "Beaver Fever" mug. The picture was this atrocious cartoon of a nonmorphic beaver with huge boobs slung onto it. I can't imagine anyone wanting this thing. It looked like Daggett from Angry Beavers* with some boobs doodled on it.

On a related note, I often find it fascinating to just plonk a word into Google and see what comes up with an unfiltered image search. You get some pretty interesting stuff from even everyday words.

Anyway, after deciding to see what came up with "beaver," I came across this page with some very funy images on it.

*The title always sounded like feminazi porn to me.

Computolio · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 349

WE NEED A LARRY FLYNT JOKE STAT

Dogthing · Coadjutor Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 207

WE NEED A LARRY FLYNT JOKE STAT

larry flynt is fat lol

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Coadjutor Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 75

WE NEED A LARRY FLYNT JOKE STAT

larry flynt is fat lol

No, I think something is called for that touches upon the issue of Larry Flynt having raped poultry as a child.

mouse · Coadjutor Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 662

Goddamnit all, there needs to be a Canadian flag emoticon. Why isn't there a Canadian flag emoticon???

But if I ever said I wasn't set in my ways - Well then I guess you caught me lying to myself
One thing I know about the rest of my life - I know that I'll be living it in Canada

:)

Rankin · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 488

The New Meat · Coadjutor Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 327

NEVAR FORGET

MagKnightX · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 137

WE NEED A LARRY FLYNT JOKE STAT

larry flynt is fat lol

No, I think something is called for that touches upon the issue of Larry Flynt having raped poultry as a child.

Young Larry was no longer able to satisfy himself by just choking the chicken.

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

Don't even get me started on Flynt that overblown delusional sleazebag. A John Holmes without the equipment or the charm or the looks but ten times his bullshit plus all the self-importance of the bastard offspring of Jeanine Garafalo and Tim Robbins. Like anyone thnks that a guy who still plays on race and sex jokes as if this was 1973 and publishes cartoons of people shitting all over the place (Tinsely was the sex world's equivalent of every supremely bad furry cartoonist you could name, but less talented and less appetizing) is an authority on anything. Well, anyone but Larry. If he was into anthropomorphics, he'd be the Bill Gates of furry, as twisted as that concept is.

They've had a non-anthro/semi-anthro beaver with a hard hat for years in Hustler and thanks to Hustler featuring very much non-furry women (except certain models in the 70s, insert rimshot there) furries haven't glommed onto it. Not that it would make Hustler less sightly than it already is.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Coadjutor Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 75

But you have to admit the man has backbone.

Michael Hirtes · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 519

Don't even get me started on Flynt that overblown delusional sleazebag. A John Holmes without the equipment or the charm or the looks but ten times his bullshit plus all the self-importance of the bastard offspring of Jeanine Garafalo and Tim Robbins. Like anyone thnks that a guy who still plays on race and sex jokes as if this was 1973 and publishes cartoons of people shitting all over the place (Tinsely was the sex world's equivalent of every supremely bad furry cartoonist you could name, but less talented and less appetizing) is an authority on anything. Well, anyone but Larry. If he was into anthropomorphics, he'd be the Bill Gates of furry, as twisted as that concept is.

They've had a non-anthro/semi-anthro beaver with a hard hat for years in Hustler and thanks to Hustler featuring very much non-furry women (except certain models in the 70s, insert rimshot there) furries haven't glommed onto it. Not that it would make Hustler less sightly than it already is.

Say what you will about Larry Flynt's personality (well, actually I think you just did), but you've gotta admit that he's got guts. Had it not been for him, porn in America today would still be nothing more than Playboy and their pretentious garbage about hi-tech gadgets & cars you will never afford, and heavily airbrushed freak women who have no vaginas. Snotty articles and flacid photos. This is the sort of fare that Larry Flynt delivered us from.

And when Flynt got shot, you'd think he would have closed down his mag and ran away as fast as he could out of the country? Hell no. Much like shooting at Frankenstein, it only made him even more pissed off and he decided to fight back even harder. Could you imagine pussies like Hugh Hefner standing up for what they believe in the moment their own pampered asses are put in jeapardy? Puh-leeze!

And, anyone who could take Jerry Falwell to court and slam that smug little pig-thing's face into the Constitution is a 100%

in my book. The day Flynt OWNED Falwell in the US Supreme Court was the day that the "Moral Majority" was officially dead & buried, and hasn't been seen even in these dark days of George Bush & John Ashcroft.

Larry Flynt may not be the most pleasant guy to be around, but god dammit you have to admit that the guy's a fighter for what he believes in. And unlike most of us who have no choice but to put up with the crap being done at us by "The Powers That Be", Flynt has the financial resources to give as good as he gets.

Woe be upon the bible-banging fool who thinks he can take on Larry Flynt (and our right to pr0n) and expect to get away with it.

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

Don't even get me started on Flynt that overblown delusional sleazebag. A John Holmes without the equipment or the charm or the looks but ten times his bullshit plus all the self-importance of the bastard offspring of Jeanine Garafalo and Tim Robbins. Like anyone thnks that a guy who still plays on race and sex jokes as if this was 1973 and publishes cartoons of people shitting all over the place (Tinsely was the sex world's equivalent of every supremely bad furry cartoonist you could name, but less talented and less appetizing) is an authority on anything. Well, anyone but Larry. If he was into anthropomorphics, he'd be the Bill Gates of furry, as twisted as that concept is.

They've had a non-anthro/semi-anthro beaver with a hard hat for years in Hustler and thanks to Hustler featuring very much non-furry women (except certain models in the 70s, insert rimshot there) furries haven't glommed onto it. Not that it would make Hustler less sightly than it already is.

Say what you will about Larry Flynt's personality (well, actually I think you just did), but you've gotta admit that he's got guts. Had it not been for him, porn in America today would still be nothing more than Playboy and their pretentious garbage about hi-tech gadgets & cars you will never afford, and heavily airbrushed freak women who have no vaginas. Snotty articles and flacid photos. This is the sort of fare that Larry Flynt delivered us from.

And when Flynt got shot, you'd think he would have closed down his mag and ran away as fast as he could out of the country? Hell no. Much like shooting at Frankenstein, it only made him even more pissed off and he decided to fight back even harder. Could you imagine pussies like Hugh Hefner standing up for what they believe in the moment their own pampered asses are put in jeapardy? Puh-leeze!

And, anyone who could take Jerry Falwell to court and slam that smug little pig-thing's face into the Constitution is a 100% in my book. The day Flynt OWNED Falwell in the US Supreme Court was the day that the "Moral Majority" was officially dead & buried, and hasn't been seen even in these dark days of George Bush & John Ashcroft.

Larry Flynt may not be the most pleasant guy to be around, but god dammit you have to admit that the guy's a fighter for what he believes in. And unlike most of us who have no choice but to put up with the crap being done at us by "The Powers That Be", Flynt has the financial resources to give as good as he gets.

Woe be upon the bible-banging fool who thinks he can take on Larry Flynt (and our right to pr0n) and expect to get away with it.

The loosening of the American mass print media was well under way and on the roll without Flynt. He had good timing and nothing else.

His paranoid-delusional inanity as if he was personally saving America from censorship was arrogant egomania of the highest sort and remains his stock in trade. "X is in power and without me, you all will go to their Hell of censorship and tyranny" was basically his schtick.

Playboy's competition pushing away from airbrushing was the result of Penthouse and Gallery far more than it ever was Hustler. Gallery's Girl Next Door was one of its driving attractions keeping it in the sock drawers of so many. Later on Cheri, High Society, and all the rest continued the widening of the gap from yesteryear to today. It was coming no matter what Flynt did.

And say what you like about the administration, but realize as always, as it was with Meese, you're saying it and getting away with it. If these were dark days, you'd not be able to speak out about anything. Fact is that no single Attorney General or anyone else in government can censor the people and destroy the whole shebang any more than liberal morons are going to march all of us gun rights supporters into concentration camps tomorrow. It's not like Flynt single-handedly kept us porn readers from being publicly executed or something. Larry's a blowhard and not much else.

I can't overstate his delusional detachment from reality regarding the era. He still acts as though there were going to be race riots in the streets any day, the KKK had two hundred thousand members, and black people were being kept from screwing blonde white girls by law. He doesn't seem to realize what decade this is exactly. He needs to pull his head out of his ass and stick it out the window sometime and see that this is 2004 and we had a porn starlet run for governor in California.

Michael Hirtes · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 519

And say what you like about the administration, but realize as always, as it was with Meese, you're saying it and getting away with it.

Yes, it's that darn pesky Bill of Rights that allows me to do so. Don't think for a minute that Bush & Co. wouldn't shred that sucker if they thought they could get away with it. We have a Consititution not because of Bush & his ilk, but in spite of them.

I'd like to think that the Founding Fathers had the likes of Jerry Falwell in mind when they firmly stated that there shall be no establishment of religion. It's been the only thing that's kept him from being ordained as The American Pope.

And come on. You just know that Ashcroft is thinking day and night for a way to abolish the Constitution. To him, it's absolute heresy to suggest that humans are capable of forging their own destiny. The very mention of the words "human rights" sends him into a fetal position on the floor, screaming "AAAGGGH! IT BURNSES US!".

I mean, THINK! We are actually having discussions on our evening news about the "merits" of torturing people? I would think the damn notion is so horrific that it doesn't even need to be discussed!

US-operated torture! Jesus FUCKING Christ on a rubber dildo for a pegleg! Have things actually corroded this far??

Kadius · Coadjutor Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 147

"AAAGGGH! IT BURNSES US!".

What is tatters precious?

It'll only be a few more months before we have a new administration. :wink:

Sehvekah · Qualificator Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 22

"AAAGGGH! IT BURNSES US!".

What is tatters precious?

It'll only be a few more months before we have a new administration. :wink:

Assuming Bush co doesn't do something to "delay" the presidental election(I"m, really, REALLY hoping those stories are nothing more than liberal paranoia, but given this guys track record and the comany he keeps...)

Shmeckopolis · Coadjutor Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 103

Duck! The black helicopters are flying too low!

Wayd Wolf · Coadjutor Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 456

OT Notation:
I'd take Ashcroft as President of the United States OVER Kerry any day of the week at this point. His wife is insane, he's stuck in 1968, and their most vehement supporters can barely say two good words about him but have whole encyclopaedias to say about Bush. You can't possibly effectively govern when your supporters don't have even a small amount of "like" for you never mind "love" and the only thing you're riding is a wave of venomous hate. Last person to do that of note was short, with a bad mustache, and ended up very badly after so many others went to their ends ahead of him.

At least Bill Clinton had grudging smiles from Republicans even never mind loopy Dems as if to say, "he's an s.o.b., but he has balls". Clinton actually had support and affection from his people. I get the feeling the Dems actually believe their own "anyone but Bush" crap and if Howard Dean walked up to Kerry and removed his head with a machete, they'd gasp, look at the corpse a minute, and then cheer Dean and select him instead. Or Charles Manson for that matter.

I'll say it again people, nothing can happen to your rights that you don't ALLOW and given the fractious nature of this democratic republic and the way everything takes longer than an elephant gestation to get done and looks to be designed by a blind and insane committee when it does should reassure you. The present administration are not the Nazi Reichstag anymore than the Clinton administration was the Politburo.

If anything, you want to see your rights eroding, pay more attention to the powers granted expressly and solely to the legislative branch being delegated by said legislative branch to executive branch agency pencil pushers for no better reason than lack of interest in the fine points. This is where the stupidity of human nature and Borg-like essence of government ineratia collide and you end up with orders to do things that they themselves admit they will not give you the permits to do that they require you to have in the first place.

As far as torture goes, I can tell you that the subjects would and have done far worse and no, it is not wrong to use pressure to save others' lives. If someone where to kidnap and stuff you someplace where you were going to be dead if not recovered in twenty-four hours Mike, would you want me to merely use harsh language to get you freed, or some pain and misery until compliance occured? Let's not fool ourselves. Were your aims and goals never mind life on the line, we know which you'd choose.

And this was not torture. I can find you about ten dozen places within the northeastern states where people PAY to receive this treatment This was a weekend in Amsterdam circa 1977. This was a Jagermeister induced party.

And no, Ashcroft does not want the bill of rights eliminated or the constutution. Conservatives are more ardent supporters of the rights in the US than their opponents ever have been. As someone who has been around them for a very long number of years, I can tell you, and I do not lie, that conservative Republicans do not sit around looking for ways to take away your rights, make you worship someone specific, or look for ways to disenfranchise any group.

BTW Mike, make no mistake, most of us conservative Republicans are more interested in economic freedom than anything else and when it comes to doing things in private could care less about whar you do. Good numbers of us are female, minority, or gay or bi. All my Republican friends know I collect porn. They don't care. They never have. Stop worrying.

Computolio · Coadjutor Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 349

Thanks for killing the thread, Wayd.