Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Kilsanth · Recusant Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 7

You didnt have to read it unless you wanted to. I obviously didnt realize that most you just want to laugh at the subject instead of trying to understand where it comes from.

Khroan · Qualificator Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 38

tl;dr

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 355

However, when you look down on them with hate its not going to help any. The people you are insulting, likely did not have the chance a normal childhood. You act like we all just choose to do this, because were twisted individuals..this is only partially the case.

So, not having a normal childhood exempt people from being called on acting fucked up? oh Fine I'll just go urinate in the middle of the high street and when people get upset, I'll calmly explain to them that I did not have a normal childhood and for them to be getting upset at my actions is not fair...NOT.

Oh please there are 'furry' individuals who are completely fucking screwball who have perfectly normal childhoods and there are nominally sane people who have the worst imaginable.

Mine's worse than yours from what you have described, So why am I considered mostly normal by society? probably because I choose to be normal by society's standards.

It does not matter what start in life you get, nor what legacy you bear, what is important is what you choose to be. There is no such thing as predestined for fucked upness, you guy's do that on your own.

SLaitila · Prattler Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 165

I almost got butchered with an axe two weeks ago and I'm not having sex with goats nor dogs.

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 727

I almost got butchered with an axe two weeks ago and I'm not having sex with goats nor dogs.

Fuck... this birthday is a complete wash. :evil:

We've all had rough lives of one way or another, gentle poster. Attempting to intellectualize one's own perversions is not the easiest, nor straightforward. Many of us have been abused mentally, sexually, and even karmically - look at SLaitila - the poor bastard thinks he's a Yank. :twisted:

This reads like the "I was GAAAY, now I'm not - thanks to GEEE-SUSSS", however - which I feel is bullshit - however, if you feel you've isolated what makes you skewed, by all means, feel free to do what you need to do to 'get better'.

The Outsider · Coadjutor Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 100

So, not having a normal childhood exempt people from being called on acting fucked up? oh Fine I'll just go urinate in the middle of the high street and when people get upset, I'll calmly explain to them that I did not have a normal childhood and for them to be getting upset at my actions is not fair...NOT.

Wasn't that the same defense Asshole...Axl Rose used when he trashed hotel rooms and the hotel management approached him about paying for the damages?

It does not matter what start in life you get, nor what legacy you bear, what is important is what you choose to be. There is no such thing as predestined for fucked upness, you guy's do that on your own.

*applauds* Bravo, sir, bravo (from one of those who had a screwed up start in life, but managed to get over it and above it).

The Outsider

SLaitila · Prattler Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 165

look at SLaitila - the poor bastard thinks he's a Yank.

Living in the midst of reindeer and speaking an obscure fennoscandic language doesn't automatically mean one is a yank! Damn it!

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 727

Living in the midst of reindeer and speaking an obscure fennoscandic language doesn't automatically mean one is a yank! Damn it!

Feburary 21st, 1808: NEVAR FORGET! :wink:

Kilsanth · Recusant Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 7

I dont think I got my points across as well as I would have liked too, as my mind has been clouded recently. It doesnt help much that I have to look over my shoulder constantly to make sure no one sees what I am writing. I am plagued with guilt, as I should be.

Oh please there are 'furry' individuals who are completely fucking screwball who have perfectly normal childhoods and there are nominally sane people who have the worst imaginable.

I agree with you. But these are the exceptions, not the rule. Children are extremely impressionable, that is a fact. I know that I could have made better choices..but the truth is, I was confused and made up a way to deal with the issues. My will power as a child was also much weaker, I was blind to the moral issues behind it and had to deal with this and raging hormones at the same time. How it manifested into fucking animals is a mystery to me, and one im still trying to figure out. But, if your childhood was worse than mine, and you turned out mostly ok, then something had to have gone in your favor..I dont beilive you were able to just 'will' these things away as a child..most cant do it as adults. Im in not saying, its ok to do these things, or that those who do them shouldnt be called out. Some people develop anger problems, or other fetishes from this type of thing..it just a way to deal with it. Just dont repel them away from the truth with ridicule. Besides, you would have had to been really busy with being sexually and mentally abused to match up to my experiences. I always knew it was wrong, but when I would get the desire to do it, it was like I was another person with very little self control. When It was over, and I had my fun..the severity came to me and made me feel shity but that feeling never lasted and id just forget about it.

Im not asking for forgivness, or even expecting the world to just ignore the messed up things our type does..only to look at it with a perspective of reason, and not hate. If anyone of them has felt the severe depression, and anxeity I have over the past two months, they need support, not insults. When was the last time you changed your behavior because someone ridiculed you? I think it only serves to create anger as im sure you have all seen, if you've browsed this site at any length.

I dont feel that I should be a representattion of the whole furry fandom either, in fact..I was likely much worse than 80% of them. What seems not to be realized is, that many know what it means to be furry, yet live in reality, knowing they cant ignore that part of themselves but live happy and productive lives anyway. Im trying to be like them, and I hate to see the mostly sane among us being brought down by things like cubcentral, or ahem..randarig's renders.(if you've seen this, you know what I mean.)

For me, this site has been a reality check..serving to answer the questions ive been asking, but didnt know how to tell myself. The stress I felt on my soul is begining to lessen, and so I thank the maker of this site for that. I had to express this to someone, or it would have ate at me until I couldn't take it anymore. The whole psycology behind it is quite intresting too, as it is something ive been pondering for a long time.

What I truly am begining to be angered at though, is how other fetishes are begining to be considered 'ok' by normal standards, while the entire furry thing is being mocked at every turn. "Its ok to shit on your partner's face, but if you like anthro bitches you should be cast out and burned alive!" I feel it is not the idea of naked anthros that should be feared and loahted, but the idea of these fetishes that go past more than just sex with a sentient male and female. You can use your imagination for what I mean by that.

Anyhow, I appologize for the long winded posts..but from my understanding you all find it intresting reading this kinda shit anyway.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 522

I tried really really hard to summon up some interest in this, but sank into a pit of depression somewhere below my usual upbeat suspension between total apathy and complete indifference, and instead looked over my construction work again and began planning for tomorrow's framing work. It was far more interesting.

M0us3_Zero · Venter Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 252

Uhh... Guys...

He fist tries to rationalize why he's messed up, then denounces everyone else.

I see the bait in the water, and I think there's a hook in it.

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 727

Uhh... Guys...

He fist tries to rationalize why he's messed up, then denounces everyone else.

I see the bait in the water, and I think there's a hook in it.

That's why we usually ignore Wayd, yes. :wink:

Kilsanth · Recusant Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 7

Ive spoke what I truly feel, and your right that Im trying (and quite successfully by the way) to rationalize why I was so very fucked up. I still got shit to work out, thats apparent..it doesnt just go away at a whim. I realize this, and am doing something about it instead of wallowing in my own filth.

The reason I mentioned the way you treat furries, is because when I first came to this site and saw the flames my first reaction was to get pissed and leave. Ive read that shit on what was it 'Evee' or somethings live journal and I cant imagine how fucking lost those people are..it scares me. I mean..I was lost but not 3 thousand miles from civilization like some of these people. They need learn why the rest of the world looks at them like 'what the fuck?' and then do something about it.

Lastly, I wasnt denouncing everyone, only the type of fetish acts that are extreme and severly twisted. They exist in the 'furry world' too, and they're just as sick. What I did is just as fucked up, im not trying to place myself above anyone. Regardless, I will rise above it and not live a life of self delusion.

I thank you all once again, for reading my posts..I could have gone on for hours to make my points clear but, it is obvious most of you dont want to read that much. You've been most helpful in putting things into perspective.

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 355

I agree with you. But these are the exceptions, not the rule. Children are extremely impressionable, that is a fact. I know that I could have made better choices..but the truth is, I was confused and made up a way to deal with the issues. My will power as a child was also much weaker, I was blind to the moral issues behind it and had to deal with this and raging hormones at the same time. How it manifested into fucking animals is a mystery to me, and one im still trying to figure out. But, if your childhood was worse than mine, and you turned out mostly ok, then something had to have gone in your favor..I dont beilive you were able to just 'will' these things away as a child..most cant do it as adults. Im in not saying, its ok to do these things, or that those who do them shouldnt be called out. Some people develop anger problems, or other fetishes from this type of thing..it just a way to deal with it. Just dont repel them away from the truth with ridicule. Besides, you would have had to been really busy with being sexually and mentally abused to match up to my experiences. I always knew it was wrong, but when I would get the desire to do it, it was like I was another person with very little self control. When It was over, and I had my fun..the severity came to me and made me feel shity but that feeling never lasted and id just forget about it.

Yeah right..okay I grew up surrounded by adults who were complete fucking screw ups, so why did I choose not to be like them and I stuck to it despite hate and abuse levelled at me to scrabble out of the pit of filth they wallowed it, willpower. I made myself into what I wanted to be rather than let them beat me down.

You don't even want me to start telling you the least worst aspects of my childhood, it would take up an hours worth of writing and I still wouldn't have got into the stuff that makes people go 'how the fuck did you survive that?' I've got scars all over my body and I wake up screaming at nights from reliving hell no human should ever have to go through yet I'm more sane than most of the human race. I'm also permanently disabled as a result of my childhood trauma.

The end result is that I know full well how hard it is to stand in the face of the storm but I'm too damn stubborn to back down, I also only have a couple of fetishes which are completely normal apparently. I might not have developed them if not for my fucked up childhood but they're completely sane and perfectly possible to have if you're raised 'normally'.

The outsider> I dunno, I don't think I'm old enough to remember Axl rose.

Kilsanth · Recusant Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 7

Perhaps your experiences have been worse than mine. I think its great that you were able to get out of it with your sanity in tact. I wasn't able to obviously, thus why I have myself to blame for a large part of it. But I still think that, cases like yours are the exception, not the rule. Not many children have that kind of will power, expecially ones who are mentally beat into the ground.

I dont really see a problem with fetishes, unless their extreme enough to make someone hollow inside. Ive done what is considered one of the most perverse things..and I felt it slowly taking my the remnants of my sanity and feelings away.

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 669

Kilsanth · Recusant Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 7

<sarcasm>Oh your right, I made this all up, for some reason and am trying to bait you into something I dont even know what</sarcasm>''

I thought maybe, the people here would be at least slightly intrested in my story and perhaps give me some useful insight. Ill go back to dealing with this on my own, it has been good to tell someone at least, even if its the people who would condemn me most.

Khroan · Qualificator Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 38

Computolio · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 405

Fuck this thread.