Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Tailgunner · Prattler Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 175

Excuse me God? Could you please stop the world from turning? I would like to get off. Thank you!

Link: New robot Fido doubles as a Dildo
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Granted its dated April of 2001, but dear god...

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 522

"Knick-knack, paddywhack, give a dog a boner."

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 669

I love the comments. Anytime something like this pops up, there's always one idiot that rattles on about how it is surely evidence for decaying moral standards and gets at least one jab in about people "not being satisfied with male-female relationships." Puh-leeze.

Incidentally, it reminds me of an item I've seen in the Pyramid Collection catalog.

Home masseurs and masseuses take note! Carved into swirled or hexagon-terminated massage wands, these solid carvings of selenite and obsidian are as sensuously beautiful as they are soothing to the touch. Selenite: 4 3/4" long (approx.). Obsidian: 5 1/8" long (approx.).

Incidentally, the selenite one (the white one) is sold out. It reminds me of the old Lillian Vernon catalogs that sold all kind of novelties and home items, like soda can crushers, those "Moonies" for your cars, beer hats, and other assorted crap. They had a "vibrating massage wand" that they advertised as being great for massaging hard-to-reach places, and showing a lady using it to massage her temple.

Somehow, I don't think that's the hard-to-reach place it was designed for. Subversive, or clueless? You make the call.

Things that make you go... hmmmm.

thegunman · Apocrisiary Joined: 07 Oct 2003 Posts: 50

leave it to sony to bring new technology below the belt line

Michael Hirtes · Vociferator Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 612

leave it to sony to bring new technology below the belt line

The first thing I thought of was K-9 in bondo gear saying "Yes, Mistress"

....and then my brain exploded.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Prattler Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 159

Dear god, a Japan Today story. Off topic, but for extra hilarity, check out the word-on-the-street Pop Vox section. It's guaranteed they'll find the dumbest people to ask questions to.

As for this dog, if there's one thing that really upsets me, it's that I feel like I was born too early. Future generations will get to enjoy their Chobits and their Holodecks and having their every desire and whim fulfilled in total realism, while we're stuck with 2D images and our hands at the least, and a real person at best. For them, if they want a real person, they got it. Not only will they have it at the touch of a button, but they'll have a choice of any person they could ever possibly want. And if they're freaks and want an alien, or a robot or a cartoon bunny, whatever they want or can imagine, they got that too, with all the realism they desire.

I predict a paradigm shift, one where the world as we know it will drop away and turn the Way Things Are on their ear; the freaks of the future will reign, and having a real world life won't count for much when all aspects of physical reality can be digitized and experianced in ways we can't even fully imagine.

It disturbs me to think that when I've turned to dust in the ground, some kid* is going to have his first sexual experiance, not fapping to cartoons of Minerva Mink, but actually getting to enjoy having sex with the character herself.

Me? I had my hand.

This sucks, and there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I live to be a hundred, I still won't get to experiance it, but I know it's coming. And I for one am supremely jealous.

*I actually intend to be that kid. I don't believe cryogenics really work (yet), but at least through cloning I can live on in some way to enjoy all the wonders the future has to offer. I want to live forever, not because I fear death, but because I don't want to miss anything good.

Michael Hirtes · Vociferator Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 612

It disturbs me to think that when I've turned to dust in the ground, some kid* is going to have his first sexual experiance, not fapping to cartoons of Minerva Mink, but actually getting to enjoy having sex with the character herself.

Will it help you feel any better to know that chances are those "lucky guys" will be stuck with having to boff the creations that will be designed by the "Urban Hermit"s and Kelly Prices of tomorrow?

Now you have a whole new level of "disturbed" to feel, don'cha?

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Prattler Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 159

Will it help you feel any better to know that chances are those "lucky guys" will be stuck with having to boff the creations that will be designed by the "Urban Hermit"s and Kelly Prices of tomorrow?

No, because:

1) Even so, they'll still be living out their greatest desires, while in my time I couldn't (short of kidnapping and rape) get my dick within one foot of Milla Jovovich's vagina.

2) In point of fact, they can have Millia, or Minerva or anyone or anything else they want. Sure, it's all fine when it's not a character you don't care for, but when I think of some creep getting to actually sleep with my beloved Renamon and visit any sexual act his greasy little heart desires upon her, well it makes me sick.

Isn't there some character you'd like to be with? Imagine what you would do, if given the chance to be with that character, just once. Imagine what it would be like, feeling her warm body undulating beneath yours, for real. You'd feel like the luckiest man in the world!

Now imagine her being disrespected and defiled, chained in a dank room, forced to wallow in her own filth and eat of the hard meats jutting from orifices lined along the stained walls. Imagine some piece of shit standing in the doorway, hands in pockets rubbing his nubby little cock as he sneers and leers at the sight of what he's putting her through.

The thought crushes me, knowing that good people like me and you will never get the chance to experiance our fondest fantasies of making sweet, gentle love to such a golden-furred goddess, while some undeserving sicko will be doing his deed all over her. I hate it, I hate all of it.

Now you have a whole new level of "disturbed" to feel, don'cha?

What happens when -when, not if- those computer programs develop a sentience of their own? Imagine if your first spark, your first realization of life, had to be while having cock shoved down your throat, a fist up your ass? Will there be anyone there to help and protect them? To communicate with and treat them as equals, and be capable of, dare I say it... experiencing love with them? For many, the answer will be a very tragic one: "No".

See, that's what I'm forced to call a 'whole new level of disturbed'.

M0us3_Zero · Venter Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 252

That's why I'm an advocate for Artificial Intelligence rights. Well, at the level that they don't have the right to kill us. >_<

SLaitila · Prattler Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 165

I can't help picturing a situation where an AI partner of mine would end up as a bassist for teh rock band. Well, a half-naked lady would attract some extra audience for the live shows, at least something more to watch than our fat asses.

Simo · Recusant Joined: 10 Sep 2004 Posts: 6

They had a "vibrating massage wand" that they advertised as being great for massaging hard-to-reach places, and showing a lady using it to massage her temple.

Somehow, I don't think that's the hard-to-reach place it was designed for. Subversive, or clueless?

Neither clueless nor subversive. It's just the thinly veiled hypocrisy we are all suppose to pay homage to. <wink>It's a "facial massager"</wink>. But, of course, it's a sex toy. Form follows function, and what possible function could a battery-powered, vibrating device with that particular form possibly fulfill? Four, possibly five, generations of bored, neglected housewives, single gals on the go, curious thirteen-year-olds, all know the answer to that one.

The same phenomonon explains why Hugh Hefner and Bob Guccione pay best-selling authors, ex-high-level government officials, prominant university professors a hundred grand to fill the pages between the full-color spreads of naked chicks with weighty tomes. For no other reason than so that one guy can tell everyone at the neighborhood 7-11 that he buys Playboy or Penthouse "for the articles" with a straight face, and so that the others will hear it with a straight face.

Not playing the "game" is dangerous, as Larry Flynt found out in 1977. The indictment may have charged "obscenity", but the real crime is that Flynt never concealed the true nature of Hustler: it's a pornographic girley magazine to give the guys images to look at while whipping the mule and/or yiffing wives and girlfriends who could never look like those models in their wildest dreams. He didn't play the "game"; he revelled in really bad taste. He received a sentence of twenty years, for not paying hommage to the thinly veiled hypocrisy.

<wink>It's a facial massager</wink>
<wink>For the articles</wink>

mouse · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 740

The same phenomonon explains why Hugh Hefner and Bob Guccione pay best-selling authors, ex-high-level government officials, prominant university professors a hundred grand to fill the pages between the full-color spreads of naked chicks with weighty tomes. For no other reason than so that one guy can tell everyone at the neighborhood 7-11 that he buys Playboy or Penthouse "for the articles" with a straight face, and so that the others will hear it with a straight face.

The exact point I stopped reading Playboy was when I was reading an article then it said continued on whatever page and then I was skipping over all kinds of pictorial sections looking for the continuation of the article.

I haven't bought an actual porn mag in years, but I always liked Club (or whatever variation thereof).

eatenmyeyes · Recusant Joined: 23 Jan 2004 Posts: 20

Milla Jovovich

Orange hair and thermal bandages...so very hot *shudder*...

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 669

Isn't there some character you'd like to be with? Imagine what you would do, if given the chance to be with that character, just once. Imagine what it would be like, feeling her warm body undulating beneath yours, for real. You'd feel like the luckiest man in the world!

Now imagine her being disrespected and defiled, chained in a dank room, forced to wallow in her own filth and eat of the hard meats jutting from orifices lined along the stained walls. Imagine some piece of shit standing in the doorway, hands in pockets rubbing his nubby little cock as he sneers and leers at the sight of what he's putting her through.

The thought crushes me, knowing that good people like me and you will never get the chance to experiance our fondest fantasies of making sweet, gentle love to such a golden-furred goddess, while some undeserving sicko will be doing his deed all over her. I hate it, I hate all of it.

Uhm... driver? Why are we turning down this road? This isn't the route to LAX..... :shock:

Dogthing · Venter Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 257

stuff.

This entire post made me feel very very sad. :(

mouse · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 740

What happens when -when, not if- those computer programs develop a sentience of their own? Imagine if your first spark, your first realization of life, had to be while having cock shoved down your throat, a fist up your ass? Will there be anyone there to help and protect them? To communicate with and treat them as equals, and be capable of, dare I say it... experiencing love with them? For many, the answer will be a very tragic one: "No".

Come to think of it, very recently, as in within the past few days I happened to catch part of an episode of "Sliders" where they were in a futuristic type of place. They called it an arcade, and it was basically these simulations full of holograms, realistic type of scenarios. You could be a soldier in a war, a 70's cop like Shaft, etc, etc.

One of the guys runs across a soldier hologram in his game acting weird, he says he keeps being killed over and over and doesnt know why.

Anyway, the "arcade" was kiddnapping people and locking them in rooms hooked up to VR machines to control the holograms, to make them more reallistic - forcing them to play these roles as worthless videogame characters who would get blown away in some of these simulations either by the scenario itself or the players.

...just felt like mentioning it :)

Paul · Venter Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 215

stuff.

This entire post made me feel very very sad. :(

For what reason? That this future virtual-reality-turned-actual-reality Minerva Mink will be buttraped by TDK, or that Skunkfuckers Inc. thought up this spooky scenario?

I'm glad I don't believe this type of thing will ever be possible. But if it were possible, I'd choose to get intimate with a cute human female normally out of my reach rather than with a cartoon character. I guess I just lack imagination.

At any rate, I think Scarlett Johansson's hotter than Minerva Mink.

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 669

Futurama Episode SO3E15: I Dated a Robot

Fry falls in love with Liubot (guest star Lucy Liu, "Ally McBeal"), a virtual humanoid downloaded from a computer. Disapproving of Fry's affair with a virtual woman, Bender and Leela steal the original head of Lucy Liu from the internet company, Nappster.com, where she is being held against her will. Seeking revenge, the Nappsters unleash a mob of illegal Lucy Liu downloads to take over the city.

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 727

Futurama Episode SO3E15: I Dated a Robot

Damn it. Now I've got "Little Latin Loopy-Lou" stuck in my head. :(

Shake, shake, shake it Loopayyy

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Prattler Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 159

Scarlet Johansson's pretty cute, but she could stand the addition of a little fur and six nipples (I used Millia Jovovich as an example just so Zen Zhu could quote the movie).

God, I'm making myself sick on furry shit. What else should I expect, though? Not like I can interact with anyone on a furry related board in any normal way. When sanity is off-topic, where do you go from there? So just count my seemingly unhinged posting as an indication of forum burnout and unnatural overexposure to that crazy thing we call "furry", but that the rest of the real world calls "huh?"

Paul · Venter Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 215

Scarlet Johansson's pretty cute, but she could stand the addition of a little fur and six nipples

Thank you for THAT mental image. Excuse me while I go rinse my brain in bleach.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Prattler Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 159

Scarlet Johansson's pretty cute, but she could stand the addition of a little fur and six nipples

Thank you for THAT mental image. Excuse me while I go rinse my brain in bleach.

Did I ever tell you much I love your avatar, and how well it goes with 99% of the things posted here?

Dogthing · Venter Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 257

Did I ever tell you much I love your avatar, and how well it goes with 99% of the things posted here?

Did I ever ask you what your avatar is? Because I can't, for the life of me, figure out what the fuck.

Paul · Venter Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 215

Did I ever tell you much I love your avatar, and how well it goes with 99% of the things posted here?

He he, that's why I settled on that one. But I'm with Dogthing - what is that in your avatar? Um... fat guy, cat... uhh, an eel coming out the guy's mouth? It's very strange in a quiet, relaxed WTF way.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Prattler Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 159

Did I ever ask you what your avatar is? Because I can't, for the life of me, figure out what the fuck.

Why, it's none other than Matter-Eater Lad, of course!

Kadius · Venter Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 254

Kinda looks like a baby's leg to me.

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 669

Scarlet Johansson's pretty cute, but she could stand the addition of a little fur and six nipples (I used Millia Jovovich as an example just so Zen Zhu could quote the movie).

Two questions so I can figure out what it is I'm supposed to be quoting:

1) What movie?

2) Who is Milla Jovovich?

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 522

Scarlet Johansson's pretty cute, but she could stand the addition of a little fur and six nipples (I used Millia Jovovich as an example just so Zen Zhu could quote the movie).

Two questions so I can figure out what it is I'm supposed to be quoting:

1) What movie?

The Fifth Element.

2) Who is Milla Jovovich?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000170/

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 669

Ahh... okay. I knew I had seen the name somwhere.

Pass... I'll take Liv Tyler or a young Barbara Eden (Hey, Genie, I have a few wishes you can grant.)