Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Venter Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 254

I browse through the art request section of VCL from time to time, and have recently cast an eye upon one poor, lost soul amongst the flock:

From Cute Yiff Pic (Herm and Male) request:

The story (undetailed):
The male and hermaphrodite have been going at it (or, more appropriately, the herm has been going at it, while the male has been on the recieving end), with the male having been sexed anally and orally (repeatedly) and has been ridden vaginally once or twice. The male is probably 6'6" tall, herm 7' tall. The male is curled up, snuggling up to the herm, while shi is licking some of hir cum off of his face, gently trying to get him ready for one more round (he's exhausted, shi isn't nearly so much). Hir member is swollen and large, bordering on macro, thick in hir own spooge and laying against his thigh and/or buttocks. The scene, I think, would be ideally set in a pre-19th Century Japanese home, next to the fire, on a tatami mat, or in the middle of the woods.

Male:
An obsidian black fox, with blond hair, blue eyes, and pale white skin. His face and belly and back are splashed with spooge (his jaw and neck are thick with it), his tail is thick with spooge near the base, and his bottucks and genitals are also covered in spooge.
Hermaphrodite:
A marble white kitsune with three tails, red hair, red eyes, and obsidian skin. Hir testicles and vagina are thinly coated while hir member is very thickly coated.

Also, if you would like to draw a similar herm/shemale white kitsune (not the same) kitted out as sohei (and possibly another of hir posing for a pin up, half in hir armor), I would like that very much!

Thank you for your time and enjoy!

I sure will! Hell, I'd fap to that like my dick was on fire.

Sadly though, half a month later:

Hello?

You still interested?

From Furre Mix (Herm/She-male/Male, Request):

CUm is now honey, milk is now sake. And there should be a picture of him, within the next several hours, on my VCL account. The locus of which is in my signature.

Now I want my fursona to lactate saki too, in the locus of my six nipples.

From Mechakitsune (An open request):

My idea, and I just thought of this, is a picture of Naginata on a battlefield (maybe in Afghanistan), with the corpses of jihadists strewn about (maybe). He is striking a patriotic pose, grasping a flag pole from which an American flag (with 52 stars) flies, his Tavor in one hand, nagamaki slung over his back, with the slogan "Kitsune Biotech, Ltd. Supports the War on Terrorism!" in red military stencil. Maybe add a kamikaze head band.

An alternative, and slightly more anime, would be to replace the American flag with a Japanese ensign (Rising Sun) flag and the appropriate kanji, katakana, and hiragana done in vertical style in the upper right hand corner in red, sort of like old wood block prints. The same slogan as before.

As for Naginata's armor (which would be a must-know for the suggested piccy), it is black do-maru, with a silver kitsune kanji painted on the do. It also includes suneate, haidate, kote, and sode. The armor is additionally adorned with the names of his other sponsors (which can be in English and/or Japanese and/or indeterminable). Think NASCAR for that bit.

I have no idea what's going on here. Can anyone explain? Zen Zhu, you're up on Japanese stuff -can you make any sense out of this?

From Creativity Required (!) for Mix Picture:

um....
What's an aiguchi & obi ?

Aiguchi is a tsuba-less tanto and an obi is a belt designed to be worn with the kimono.

tsuba-less tanto ?
Sorry I'm not mad but to define something with a word that
needs to be defined?

So I do feel kind of bad for this person, and now I'm wondering if I should contribute something? I was thinking we all could pool our resources to help this poor, confused soul realize hir innermost creative visons. I could be sort of a community volunteer group project...

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

Y'know.. I'm not sure what this cum obsession is with furries. I mean... I don't mind a good face-shot in my porn. According to past girlfriends and all, it's fun stuff for about 5 seconds.... then it starts to quickly turn cold and runny. Furries seem to look on it like being drenched in it is like slipping into a hot tub, or something.. it's warm and comforting and envelops you. From the stories I've been told, however, the stuff they describe would be more like doing a pratfall into a kiddie pool of tepid tapioca. And it burns your eyes like hell.

And can you imagine (I'm sure you'd prefer not to, though) what kind of murder that has to be once it dries if you were actually a character with fur? For about 5 minutes, they'd think it'd be all nice and nauseatingly snuggly to spoon their spooge-drenched selves together. And about a 30-minute nap later... they need some kind of oxidizing compound and the jaws of life to pry themselves apart.

"Hey, Foxiekins... what's with the missing patches of hair? You got the mange?"

"Uhm..... no......."

"Ohhhhhh..... I see.. fell asleep with your mistress and had to get the rescue squad to unstick you, eh? Well... at least fruits like you create more jobs. Now we have 911 for police, ambulance, fire, and barbers."

I have no idea what's going on here. Can anyone explain? Zen Zhu, you're up on Japanese stuff -can you make any sense out of this?

Eh.. sounds like your typical mishmash bastardization of ideas.... some guy in samurai armor holding a lightsaber and an AK-47. The whole NASCAR sponsor thing is way out in left field, though... unless he stole the idea from Mystery Men. The guy that was supposed to be a "real" super hero in that had sponsers on his super suit.

Aiguchi is a tsuba-less tanto and an obi is a belt designed to be worn with the kimono.

tsuba-less tanto ?
Sorry I'm not mad but to define something with a word that
needs to be defined?

It sounds here like the guy is trying to throw out terms that will make folks scratch their heads... or he's just taking for granted that everybody knows what these are. I try not to spread the Japanese thing around too much.. unless its relevant or, with enough definitions, might provide a little amusement. Mostly, though, I figure it bores folks too much to bring it up too much. Anyway... I think what he's picturing is something like this..

So I do feel kind of bad for this person, and now I'm wondering if I should contribute something? I was thinking we all could pool our resources to help this poor, confused soul realize hir innermost creative visons. I could be sort of a community volunteer group project...

You, sir, can bite my shiny, metal ass.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Rasophore Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 64

Whatever happened to semi-normal furry-on-furry action? Why does it always have to be herms and lactating breasts, and vores and whatnot?

Kadius · Vociferator Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 370

Whatever happened to semi-normal furry-on-furry action? Why does it always have to be herms and lactating breasts, and vores and whatnot?

Robin Williams says the world is entropying. 'Furry' is 100 times faster at it.

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

I figure there's at least two things attributable to this.

The first is just general desensitization. If folks want to see straight ol' sex, they can find that sort of thing anywhere online or at the convenience store's rack of nudie mags. I'm guessing after a while, the regular depictions of sex all run together and they lose their impact.. becoming less arousing. So, they have to look for "bigger and better" highs... so they start going to the frienges. It's probably not that big a jump, since we're talking about people already looking at cartoon animals doing the matress mambo in ways other than sheer comedic value. Once the "normal" fringes like BDSM and stuff start to lose their visual value to these people, they push on to the kinds of things that can only happen in drawings and animation... not in regular images without some serious photoshopping.

In a way, you could say that they do this sort of stuff in drawn media and cybersex because they can... the limitations of taboos and even physics don't apply in ink and paint or in binary code. They say the mind is the most powerful sex organ of all. Combine the twisted stuff people can conjure up in their minds.. and the capacity to either draw it or play it out online... and you have a pretty volatile combination.

The other reason is, since some of them can get a lay pretty easily by hooking up with their furry friends and "accidentally" dropping the cheese doodles (I'd say soap.. but we all know furries and soap don't mix) they seek something a little more "edgy" in their solo time. So, there's the idea of "I can get regular sex whenever I want. I want something freaky."

So... either way.... getting a little pickle tickle online or offline starts to fall flat... so they have to move on to getting Danza-slapped with an 8-foot horse dick or drowning in a small pond of macroskunk lactations.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Venter Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 254

In a way, you could say that they do this sort of stuff in drawn media and cybersex because they can... the limitations of taboos and even physics don't apply in ink and paint or in binary code. They say the mind is the most powerful sex organ of all. Combine the twisted stuff people can conjure up in their minds.. and the capacity to either draw it or play it out online... and you have a pretty volatile combination.

The other reason is, since some of them can get a lay pretty easily by hooking up with their furry friends and "accidentally" dropping the cheese doodles (I'd say soap.. but we all know furries and soap don't mix) they seek something a little more "edgy" in their solo time. So, there's the idea of "I can get regular sex whenever I want. I want something freaky."

So... either way.... getting a little pickle tickle online or offline starts to fall flat... so they have to move on to getting Danza-slapped with an 8-foot horse dick or drowning in a small pond of macroskunk lactations.

Okay, I'm kind of confused on that. I thought furries couldn't get laid. That, coupled with the stunted emotional maturity made them like horny 13 year old boys; this massive sex drive without any idea of what to do with it, and all these images from the media getting transposed onto and becoming parts of their disjointed, immature sexual fantasies.

Of course we know that some furries can get it all they want. I'm certain in the Merlino household you've got a willing anus just down every hall, even if that anus is hairy and attached to a large, sweaty body that's been allowed to go unwashed for weeks.

So where's the connection between getting all you want, and yet not getting any to the point of being forced to make do with the prison gay lifestyle? I guess it comes down to quality. You can't get anything really good looking physically, but more importantly can't get -or can't maintain- anything fulfilling emotionally, so it's not really sex even, it's just fucking. And in that fucking, there's nothing to be found that's truely gratifying or 'real', so it degenerates into more and more complex fantasy to give it some weight in their shallow lives. In the end, idle minds and a desperate, overstimulated libido help contribute to something very, very sad.

Gargoyle · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 91

My idea, and I just thought of this, is a picture of Naginata on a battlefield (maybe in Afghanistan), with the corpses of jihadists strewn about (maybe). He is striking a patriotic pose, grasping a flag pole from which an American flag (with 52 stars) flies, his Tavor in one hand, nagamaki slung over his back, with the slogan "Kitsune Biotech, Ltd. Supports the War on Terrorism!" in red military stencil. Maybe add a kamikaze head band.

An alternative, and slightly more anime, would be to replace the American flag with a Japanese ensign (Rising Sun) flag and the appropriate kanji, katakana, and hiragana done in vertical style in the upper right hand corner in red, sort of like old wood block prints. The same slogan as before.

"Kitsune Biotech, Ltd. Supports the War on Barbarian White Devils!"

With the corpses of decapitated Chinese strewn about (maybe).

Kooshmeister · Qualificator Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 30

The other reason is, since some of them can get a lay pretty easily by hooking up with their furry friends and "accidentally" dropping the cheese doodles (I'd say soap.. but we all know furries and soap don't mix) they seek something a little more "edgy" in their solo time. So, there's the idea of "I can get regular sex whenever I want. I want something freaky."

Regarding this whole "furries don't bathe thing," I'm not disputing it, but I'm curious... from whence did it come? I've never met a furry in real life personally, so I'm curious where this whole thing started...

I should add that, in yet another exception to the furry "rule" that sets me apart from those freaks, I am germophobic and shower constantly. At least three times a day. I'm a clean freak. The thought of filthiness mortifies me. Too bad everyone else in my family is a slob...

Oh, and this is just me being frank and speaking my mind, but I think that whole "Kitsune Biotech" thing is really, really stupid. Samurai armor? And with a machine gun...? I've seen some lame shit in my time (some of which, admittedly, I've come up with), but that whole concept isn't just dumb... it's passe in a world where everyone is obsessed with Japanese culture.

I've got nothing against Japanese people or their culture, but I just wish all these psychotic little anime-loving wackos would find some other country to latch themselves onto and obsess about. But nooooo, they got those OMG kewl samurai swords and katanas or whatever... God, It makes me sick and I've never even been to Japan, so I can only imagine how actual Japanese people feel about the raping of their culture by these teenaged imbeciles.

And for the record, my obsession is turn-of-the-century Victorian England. Gotta love those high shirt collars and every man carrying a stylish walking stick.

ten · Recusant Joined: 23 Oct 2004 Posts: 17

Regarding this whole "furries don't bathe thing," I'm not disputing it, but I'm curious... from whence did it come? I've never met a furry in real life personally, so I'm curious where this whole thing started...

Probably when a normal person with decent hygenic skills walked into the Adam's Mark hotel on that annual horrifying weekend and smelled nothing but sex, BO, and diapers on EVERY GOD DAMN FLOOR AND STAIRWELL.

Kooshmeister · Qualificator Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 30

Ah-ha. Welp, that works for me. And-- Wait, diapers...? Do I even want to know? Actually, I'm cursed with an overactive imagination so... I think I have a pretty good idea. And it frightens me.

ten · Recusant Joined: 23 Oct 2004 Posts: 17

If I wasn't at work right now, I'd curse you with acidic pictures of stupid fucking 40 year old furries in diapers and bonnets.

Shmeckopolis · Venter Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 234

Yeah, though there may be other factors, the main reason for furries=dirty is the overwhelming smell at furry cons.

Kooshmeister · Qualificator Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 30

If I wasn't at work right now, I'd curse you with acidic pictures of stupid fucking 40 year old furries in diapers and bonnets.

After giving your offer careful consideration... I'll just say thanks, but no thanks. I just ate, after all. Ham sandwich and sour-cream-n-onion chips. Mmm. Don't have a deep desire to revisit it if you catch my drift.

Maybe when I've got an empty stomach, I'll let my curiousity get the better of me.

Rankin · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 891

Damn furry for being an all-encompassing fetish. It's like a chaotic Vehn diagram. If you slap some fuzz on it, it's furry. You might be into infantilsm, but wait, no, that's CUBS! You might like the concept of being eaten, but wait, it's a wolf who's eating you!

...blawgh. We need better restrictions, like PG-13. You must have an IQ over 13 to play this game..

ten · Recusant Joined: 23 Oct 2004 Posts: 17

But.. if it weren't for them, we'd all be back to smacking it to hentai and bukkake and not whining about oddball furries in a mildly humorous fashion.

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

Regarding this whole "furries don't bathe thing," I'm not disputing it, but I'm curious... from whence did it come? I've never met a furry in real life personally, so I'm curious where this whole thing started...

A lot of it is simple stereotype... but the stereotype had to come from somewhere. It's not just limited to furries though. Basically, you get geeks of any type fixating on their pasttimes... role playing, chat, textfucking, LAN parties.. whatever... and you can get yourself a few folks that put of bathing for the sake of not interrupting what they're doing. They pull all-nighters doing whatever, go to bed about about 7AM, and figure.. to hell with it.. they'll shower when they get up. Then they get up, and forget to bathe. Then you have the others that simply don't put much thought into their hygine and grooming.. and bathing becomes something they do only when someone tells them they stink to high hell.

Surprisingly, regular bathing didn't take hold until the '50s.

But, for whatever reason.. there you have it.... geeks fixating on their focus of choice and simply not putting the thought into bathing, or forsaking it for a few extra minutes of gaming, chatting, or whatever. Or... they just don't think about it. My brother, for whatever reason... while he regularly bathed, didn't shave. He'd get these scraggly hairs I called his "fly hairs".. in reference to the hairs Brundle first got on his back in the modern adaptation of the movie. He also didn't formally change for bed or anything. He go to sleep with his jeans on and just pull whatever was close over him as a blanket. He's just now beginning to think he's ADD... so that may have always been a factor.

I've got nothing against Japanese people or their culture, but I just wish all these psychotic little anime-loving wackos would find some other country to latch themselves onto and obsess about. But nooooo, they got those OMG kewl samurai swords and katanas or whatever... God, It makes me sick and I've never even been to Japan, so I can only imagine how actual Japanese people feel about the raping of their culture by these teenaged imbeciles.

The thing that irks me is the rationale behind their fixation. It's no secret that I appreciate the Japanese culture.. but you'd be hard-pressed to say I fixate on it. There are things in their culture that make sense to me... and many things that don't. Likewise, there are many things in Chinese culture that make sense to me... the only real separation being I can understand more Japanese than Chinese. I find katanas to be very artistic, and like them better than European swords... but I'm not big on the whole Japanese military thing. The biggest of all is that I've never agreed with the concept of suicide being something honorable. That's just loony to me. While all of these anime nuts walk around talking about how "noble" and "honorable" the samurai were, I tend to take more interest in the ninja.. not for their mystique.. but for the emphasis on doing what it took to survive. As a Buddhist, I also appreciate them more as the natural offshoot of Buddhist mystics trying to develop a practice that would help them survive the persecution by the samurai class.

But, these little rice queens that send daily letters to their cable station insisting they carry the anime channel, and eat nothing but ramen and Pocky and wash it down with Ramune are just going with it all on a surficial level. They operate on the math of anime=cool therefore Japan=cool.. and build it up to be, like, the greatest nation on Earth or something. They don't understand the problems one faces in Japanese society.... and that every culture and nation has its good points and bad points.

A good example is this whole politeness thing. I think Americans could stand to learn a little more decorum.. a higher standard of being polite to strangers. But... with the Japanese... it's too extreme. You never know where you stand with a person. That's one thing my friends from Japan say they like about America.... they're a little put-off by how crass some people can be... but they at least know that niceness they encounter is genuine, and not merely a social standard masking some deep-seated resentment or something.

So, there is a difference between raising Asian culture on a pedestal because you are an anime nut, and having an appreciation for it because much of it makes sense to your own personal sense of standards, aesthetics, or whatever.

As for the culture raping... their teens borrow heavily from our culture, so it's probably viewed as a fair trade off. There's stuff over there... hell.. even in Canada... that is pushed as great just because it's "American." So, their youth borrows a lot from the west on a superficial level, just as our youth does from theres. I think, however, they might make more of an effort to understand us... much of which comes from their studying English. As I study Japanese, I learn more about their culture... language can often be a gateway to understanding how a people conceptualize things.. how they think.. so it makes stuff make more sense.

The thing, as I said, that I find irksome is the kids parading around in Inuyasha shirts with a box of Pocky in one hand and Melon Sweat in the other, trashing America because we don't put out anything as cool as anime...... and having not even the slightest concept of deeper issues of the culture they are attempting to embrace with no real understanding.

A great example is an argument I heard in a game store. The clerk was talking with a friend about a movie he saw on an international channel. He made some mention of them saying arigato. The friend went on this huge tear about how they NEVER say arigato by itself.. always domo arigato. Of course, that's complete bullshit..... hell... they sometimes just say domo as a quick "thanks." But this asshat went on like the complete authority on Japanese culture.. all the while asserting something totally erroneous as God's truth.

I was so tempted to ask him, "Anata wa Nihongo ga wakarimasu ka?" ("Do you understand Japanese?".... actually a very rigid, textbook way of saying it.. but it would have served to throw in the most words to trip him up.)

Gargoyle · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 91

"While all of these anime nuts walk around talking about how "noble" and "honorable" the samurai were"

Including slaughtering prisoners of war as perceiving them as unhonorable ones EVEN IN THE MODERN WAR. Same with killing peasants, or civilians in WW2. Bushido codex, oh yeah.

Gargoyle · Coadjutor Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 91

"As a Buddhist, I also appreciate them more as the natural offshoot of Buddhist mystics trying to develop a practice that would help them survive the persecution by the samurai class."

And Nobunaga Oda was a crazy-ass Christian...

In most of games/anime/mangas he's now portrayed as a demon lord :)

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 817

He go to sleep with his jeans on and just pull whatever was close over him as a blanket.

haha, thats no big deal... thats like me everyweekend when I stumble in to my room at like after 5am after being out all night.

also, just in general:

when you wake up and you realize you havent done a wash of clothes in a while , you just find the jeans you were wearing last night - and now heres where the magic comes in ...you just give them the smell test. And if they pass - thats the green light to wear them again!

Kadius · Vociferator Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 370

also, just in general:

when you wake up and you realize you havent done a wash of clothes in a while , you just find the jeans you were wearing last night - and now heres where the magic comes in ...you just give them the smell test. And if they pass - thats the green light to wear them again!

Haha! I think that's how 95% of guys test socks, pants and shirts.

Febreeze is your friend.

Kooshmeister · Qualificator Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 30

But, for whatever reason.. there you have it.... geeks fixating on their focus of choice and simply not putting the thought into bathing, or forsaking it for a few extra minutes of gaming, chatting, or whatever. Or... they just don't think about it. My brother, for whatever reason... while he regularly bathed, didn't shave. He'd get these scraggly hairs I called his "fly hairs".. in reference to the hairs Brundle first got on his back in the modern adaptation of the movie. He also didn't formally change for bed or anything. He go to sleep with his jeans on and just pull whatever was close over him as a blanket. He's just now beginning to think he's ADD... so that may have always been a factor.

Ah. I have ADD myself. Aspberger's, actually, which includes ADD amongst its symptoms. So if your brother's got it, he has my sympathies. Either way, despite showering constantly I don't like shaving... wondering if I should just grow a beard and be done with.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Venter Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 254

Ah. I have ADD myself. Aspberger's, actually, which includes ADD amongst its symptoms. So if your brother's got it, he has my sympathies. Either way, despite showering constantly I don't like shaving... wondering if I should just grow a beard and be done with.

OMG I call furry on you, sir.

1. Hearing someone has a disorder, taking the opportunity to tell us what your disorder is. Unless your sister is going through chemo, or you're paraplegic or something genuinely unfortunate, we don't care. Every damn furry has/thinks they have Aspergers or some shit, and they seem to want to tell the world about it.

2. That damn beard thing, that fucking beard every furry male has to have. Is it just out of laziness? Does it make them feel more 'furry'? Or do they really think it makes them look manly and grown up? The world may never know!

Now get a shave, you bum.

Kooshmeister · Qualificator Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 30

1. Hearing someone has a disorder, taking the opportunity to tell us what your disorder is. Unless your sister is going through chemo, or you're paraplegic or something genuinely unfortunate, we don't care. Every damn furry has/thinks they have Aspergers or some shit, and they seem to want to tell the world about it.

So what you're saying is I should make fun of his brother instead of trying to be nice? Despite what you may think, I am not trolling for your sympathy. And anyways, I don't think I have Aspberger's. I know I do. So says the Johnston County Mental Health clinic. Of course, I can't prove this to you, because anyone can say they have some illness over the Internet, so I doubt it makes any differance to you.

And regarding my lack of shaving: No, it doesn't make me feel "furry," or "manly" or anything. I just don't feel like shaving. Millions of non-furries forgo shaving, and I mention it as an aside and suddenly I'm furry?

Rankin · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 891

I haven't shaved since Friday - but that's because I'm a lazy fucker. Without it, I look 16. With it, I look, er, maybe 18.

Time to get me some young secks... or something.

...nah. I got a new DVD player. Time to test it out.

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

Hell, I only shave on occasions such as business or going to meet officials. My Hindu friend brings it up alot, I just wonder what a beard is to his religion. oO

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Venter Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 254

Yes :roll:

Also,

3. Overdramatic sig, meant to look dark and edgy but coming off kind of lame when presented in that way. But at least it's a Ghostbusters quote and not some semi-illiterate goth/angst/Dimmu Borgir inspired free form retardation.

I'm not making the definitive case here, but the warning signs are there. If and when the hammer finally falls and you end up on a government furry watch list, don't say I didn't rat you out to the government warn you.

Kooshmeister · Qualificator Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 30

I just like that quote is all. It isn't meant to come off as edgy or dramatic or anything. I just like seeing it there. I do it on all the message boards I post at and rotate the quotes - from various films and TV shows that I like - off and on.

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

*cough*at least it isn't from a children's book written by a convicted sex offender / pedophile*cough*

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 307

I forget what my sig is :(

oh wait here it is:

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Venter Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 254

Fuck your fucking magical fucking floating fucking, uh.. mystery fucking... fish fucking... sig! Yeah :P

Goddamn Fish.

*cough*at least it isn't from a children's book written by a convicted sex offender / pedophile*cough*

Have you even read the book?? It's awesome, though I personally liked James and the Giant Peach better.

God help me but I seriously misspelled the word "liked" as "licked" when I first wrote that, and it's scaring me that I may be starting to just naturaly think in those terms now :cry:

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

Ah. I have ADD myself. Aspberger's, actually, which includes ADD amongst its symptoms. So if your brother's got it, he has my sympathies. Either way, despite showering constantly I don't like shaving... wondering if I should just grow a beard and be done with.

I'm not sure to what degree he's suspecting. He's seeing a doctor or something about it. The thing that is a real pisser is his boyfriend.. a fursuiter that tends to use my brother as his own personal source of free commissions.. is trying to dissuade him from seeing about what can be treated. His boyfriend is on some crock about being a slave to pills or some crap like that. He doesn't give me many details. Anyway, I'm soooo hoping he'll dump that guy. The fellow has done nothing but really weigh him down. Contrary to the furry stereotype, though, this guy makes money hand over fist... he's just not good at doing anything constructive with it, apparently.

Personally, I dislike shaving.. but I dislike the alternative even more. If I could get laser treatment to where I never had to shave my head or face again, I'd do it. But, that's a bit too costly and too much risk of scarring to be a viable alternative to my nightly ritual. I've asked around about having my head waxed, but I just get a varied assortment of vapid stares... as if somehow I was the antichrist of our culture that dictates I should be clinging to every last follicle as if I were dependent on it for my life's blood or something.

So, my face gets whacked in the shower every night, and my head every other night. I've taken to using a Norelco Advantage razor for the first wave, and then following up with a regular razor for the second. I had hoped the Norelco would do a good enough job, since I can use it in the shower, but it doesn't get close enough. At the very least, though, it trims everything down to where using a regular razor just gets the last little bit of length. Otherwise, even with a new razor, shaving it is really unpleasant.

The downside is we're coming upon the season where my lack of natural insulation has me at an extreme disadvantage. Fortunately, I snagged a nice new fleece cap from Columbia to keep things toasty.

Oh, BTW, if anyone is curious, Burt's Bees Bay Rum aftershave does a really good job of soothing the skin after a shave. It stings like a son of a bitch for about 15 seconds, then makes everything feel really good.

MagKnightX · Venter Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 286

Thing about shaving in my family is, we all have really ratty beards until we reach about 30, so we shave until then, but then they start getting all thick and nice-looking. And since genetically we have round faces, beards tend to make us look better.

But until about 30, we all shave if we care about looking good, even though it is unpleasant.

Zen, most aftershaves will sooth your face... I use Pinaud Bay Rhum and Caswell-Massy No. 6... both help a LOT... and I think they both smell better than Burt's.

I have a story about Burt's Bee's, remind me to tell you sometime.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 310

Surely the finerst furries use skunk scent or husky urine as aftershave.. =)

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

Zen, most aftershaves will sooth your face... I use Pinaud Bay Rhum and Caswell-Massy No. 6... both help a LOT... and I think they both smell better than Burt's.

I have a story about Burt's Bee's, remind me to tell you sometime.

Naturally... I'm just saying I've had more successful resuls with the Burt's Bees stuff than other's I've tried. The only other one I really like is Nivea.. but I prefer the bay rum scent and it's not greasy like Nivea, which is a plus when you like to keep your head shine-free.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Venter Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 254

The image of Zen Zhu I have forming in my head right now.

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

I'm ZenZhu, and I approve of that picture.