Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Mastertran · Apocrisiary Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 48

Hi everybody. I found a rather large story online
http://www.ranea.org/watts/writing/pens1.html

Please read it and tell me what you think. I hated it and I liked Watts Martin but this is just to weird.

Rankin · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 891

tr; dr.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Rasophore Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 64

I really have no idea where to start. The This story deals with adult themes and sexual situations warning put me off a bit, but I plunged ahead blindly. The idea that humans co-exist with gigantic furries who speak weird languages seemed strange, but harmless. Warning alarms started going off when the author speaks of the rabbits' libidoes, but it seemed like a throwaway line so I paid it no heed. And I was also wary of the fact that the rabbit that bought Allin was a female. When Chapter 2 rolled around and Allin was showing resistence to being Teisha's pet I thought Hey, maybe this'll be a story about Allin escaping from his mistress. Then I remembered This story deals with adult themes and sexual situations and I thought better. In Chapter 3, Allin gets aroused from being petted by Teisha and a little part of me dies. Teisha also gets a boyfriend Allin calls Troll.

On a side note, reading that Allin got aroused from watching two giant rabbits bump uglies made me sad.

Chapter 4 was nondescript, aside from Allin getting molested by Teisha. In Chapter 5, Allin learns some of the native language and finds a book of maps.

On a side note, reading that Allin fisted Teisha made me sad. And nauseated.

I didn't read all of Chapter 6 because I just wanted to be done with the whole thing, but apparently Allin and Teisha go to a magical gate that will transport them back to Allin's world. Or something like that.

On a side note, reading that Allin and Teisha bump uglies made me sad. And nauseated. And suicidal.

There are good points however. There is a story here, which is a breath of fresh air from the tired, hackneyed prose of furries, who, if they write, write only for the sex scenes. The sex, however, seemed to be there just for the sake of being there. It didn't add much. There was also Teisha. Now, if it had been an elf Allin was fucking, I wouldn't have bat an eye. But it's a giant rabbit. Why? Why is it a giant rabbit? I don't know. And I probably never will know. That frustrates me.

And what the hell kind of name is "Watts"?

Shmeckopolis · Venter Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 234

It could've been like one of those bunny girls from Final Fantasy Tactics/12, at least that would've shown a trace amount of normalcy...

....But that would be wankable for mundanes! THIS IS FOR US! FOR USSSSSSS! MAKE THEM GIANT BUNNIESESSSSS! YESSSSSSS!

Mastertran · Apocrisiary Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 48

Good call WGITC I can call you that can't I? Like I said some of Watts other stories are actually quite good, a Gift of Fire a Gift of blood is reall well done. But this story just was to weird it was like David Lynch was writing it for the most part. Oh and on final note him talking about Troll's penis made me lose sleep for two nights in a row.

Tailgunner · Venter Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 209

That story was ...ok.

Descrpitive and immersive, but leaves the reader to fill in the rest.

As for the sex scenes, well, what can I say? Read the last paragraph.

9 feet tall bunnies good! Kittens bad!

Xarai · Recusant Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 6

Could this be the most pretentiously written story ever?

All the uses of "quote-morphs" (just say anthropomorphic and get over it), the rampant overuse of semicolons and dashes when they don't fit, long boring descriptions, the overly formal English, and so on just scream "LOOK AT ME I'M A REAL GOOD WRITER". I mean, it's a lot better than your average self-insertion Pokémon fanfic, but it sounds like a scientific journal article.

I recognize a BS style of writing right away, because I have a tendency to slip into it myself. Though I don't have a fixation with macrophilic rabbit sex.

creature · Venter Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 221

Eye of Argon contestant waiting to happen.

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 362

All this talk of lewd bunnies reminded me of a weird novel I read way before I ever heard of Furry Fandom, which featured these psychopathic warmongering bunnies with interchangeable genitalia. Eh, and one of the characters disguised himself as a bunny and "accidentally" got pronged by one of them. Also, (for all you robosexuals) there was some human-impersonating android who made himself a wang so he could better pretend to be a human.

No, REALLY. Damned if I can remember the title or the author though. It was like Douglas Adams, only funny as fuck.

Mastertran · Apocrisiary Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 48

Man that does sound like a weird novel wish you could remember the name, might help me scare of those Mormons who live next door. You know Watts Martin also had another story that I think he took down before I came on the internet. I think some female Tiger eats her mouse lover alive while having sex. Now I know that sounds pretty norm by furry writing but it was just disturbing, like watching Seven while on Acid.

Rankin · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 891

It was like Douglas Adams, only funny as fuck.

You will pay for your sins, young man! :evil:

Quantum Coyote · Prattler Joined: 12 May 2004 Posts: 143

weird_guy_in_the_corner Wrote:

There are good points however. There is a story here, which is a breath of fresh air from the tired, hackneyed prose of furries, who, if they write, write only for the sex scenes. The sex, however, seemed to be there just for the sake of being there. It didn't add much. There was also Teisha. Now, if it had been an elf Allin was fucking, I wouldn't have bat an eye. But it's a giant rabbit. Why? Why is it a giant rabbit? I don't know. And I probably never will know. That frustrates me.

Oh you would LOVE "What Bunnies Are For" then. I read it when it was up on Quozl Mephit's FTP

Mastertran · Apocrisiary Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 48

I really do not want to know about this "What bunnies are for" please don't try and scare me.

Tailgunner · Venter Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 209

Carnivorous rabbits give me a woody.

I cheer for the vorpal bunny.

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 362

Man that does sound like a weird novel wish you could remember the name, might help me scare of those Mormons who live next door. You know Watts Martin also had another story that I think he took down before I came on the internet. I think some female Tiger eats her mouse lover alive while having sex. Now I know that sounds pretty norm by furry writing but it was just disturbing, like watching Seven while on Acid.

Found that book, it's called "22nd Century Blues"

An excerpt:

Unlike our primitive Earthling rabbit, Bunnyland Bunny biology has beset Bunnies with separable sexual parts. For every million Bunnies born only one has genitalia - a full set, male and female; thus Bunnies are no sex at all until they attach a male or female part, at which time they 'become' that sex for the duration of the attachment. At birth the sexual parts are confiscated by the authorities and sold at auction. Therefore, most Bunnies not being rich enough to afford to buy sexual parts, they are unable to do what bunnies everywhere else like best to do, and are denied these pleasures perhaps for their whole lives long. As these Bunnyparts are hoarded, stolen, misused, quickly worn out, wrongly stored or sold to aliens as playthings, there is always a desperate shortage.

ZenZhu · Needs to get out more Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 897

I'll have some of what that fellow is having... and I'll take it in the blue bong, please.

Mastertran · Apocrisiary Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 48

Sorry my drug of choice is Wacky Alzonzo's Super Peyote. Now that get's you in the mood for that book.

Sandstar1 · Recusant Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Posts: 7

Man that does sound like a weird novel wish you could remember the name, might help me scare of those Mormons who live next door. You know Watts Martin also had another story that I think he took down before I came on the internet. I think some female Tiger eats her mouse lover alive while having sex. Now I know that sounds pretty norm by furry writing but it was just disturbing, like watching Seven while on Acid.

Found that book, it's called "22nd Century Blues"

An excerpt:

Unlike our primitive Earthling rabbit, Bunnyland Bunny biology has beset Bunnies with separable sexual parts. For every million Bunnies born only one has genitalia - a full set, male and female; thus Bunnies are no sex at all until they attach a male or female part, at which time they 'become' that sex for the duration of the attachment. At birth the sexual parts are confiscated by the authorities and sold at auction. Therefore, most Bunnies not being rich enough to afford to buy sexual parts, they are unable to do what bunnies everywhere else like best to do, and are denied these pleasures perhaps for their whole lives long. As these Bunnyparts are hoarded, stolen, misused, quickly worn out, wrongly stored or sold to aliens as playthings, there is always a desperate shortage.

That's the shittiest piece of shit a writer ever shat out.

creature · Venter Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 221

That's the shittiest piece of shit a writer ever shat out.

You're shittin me, right?

Sixtail · Recusant Joined: 30 Aug 2004 Posts: 18

Man that does sound like a weird novel wish you could remember the name, might help me scare of those Mormons who live next door. You know Watts Martin also had another story that I think he took down before I came on the internet. I think some female Tiger eats her mouse lover alive while having sex. Now I know that sounds pretty norm by furry writing but it was just disturbing, like watching Seven while on Acid.

Found that book, it's called "22nd Century Blues"

An excerpt:

Unlike our primitive Earthling rabbit, Bunnyland Bunny biology has beset Bunnies with separable sexual parts. For every million Bunnies born only one has genitalia - a full set, male and female; thus Bunnies are no sex at all until they attach a male or female part, at which time they 'become' that sex for the duration of the attachment. At birth the sexual parts are confiscated by the authorities and sold at auction. Therefore, most Bunnies not being rich enough to afford to buy sexual parts, they are unable to do what bunnies everywhere else like best to do, and are denied these pleasures perhaps for their whole lives long. As these Bunnyparts are hoarded, stolen, misused, quickly worn out, wrongly stored or sold to aliens as playthings, there is always a desperate shortage.

That's the shittiest piece of shit a writer ever shat out.

I'm glad I invested in that clone tank. Stuff like that burns out the eyeballs so quickly and it's nice to grow a new pair and have them on hand.

As for that story..that writer needs to have his fingers broken into 20 segments. Each of them. That's just some hardcore retarded bile there..and the sad thing is somewhere there's a few dozen people who look at that as writing to rival Hamlet.