Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

I just found this website, and was reading through the dated posts on the front page. I used to be rather heavy into furry (cough) and took it a little too seriously, now I look back and shake my head at my silliness.

However, I still find a lot of the weirdness just slapnuts funny. Especially the little oddball encounters that just seemed so common. In a bit of a response to this article: http://www.crushyiffdestroy.com/show-article.php?file=newbie , here is my sort-of similar enounter. Sorry this is so long, I just don't want to leave out any detail...

Several years ago, I was sitting in what was yiffnet, doing whatever it is I did for hours every day, when someone started saying they had domain names to give away. Back then, domain names were kind of expensive, so the ears perked a bit. I private messaged the fellow and asked what the deal was. Apparantly, he paid for a domain name and got some kind of a deal where you register one and you get two more free. Bonus!

So.. I'm all happy that I now have my own little dot-com now, and start talking to this guy. His name here shall be Sickles, a close approximation of what his name really was. :) He seems very friendly and outgoing, especially when the subject at hand is about Sonic.

Whatever. He turns out to live in Louisville, where my family is originally from and where several of my friends also live. Then he says he has a pet fox.

This surprsied me, but I believed him. He said his family had rescued the fox and rehabilitated it, and now it was his pet. Okay, this is turning out to be pretty cool then. I'd never been around an actual fox before (only the googly-eyed fanboy type) so hearing about one was just dandy.

He was describing to me all kinds of little things about it, and at one point said it was "looking at him" right then. Awesome, I thought, happy that someone had rehabilitated a wild animal and that it was now getting free healthcare and love and whatnot.... Unfortunatly, bedtime came and I ended the conversation.

A few days after that, I was chatting with another fur friend from Louisville, and was invited down for a BBQ. I jumped in the car, and eventually myself and my trusted friend were driving about the Louisville proper, nicely full of good BBQ. My friend is driving.

Suddenly, I remembered Sickles and his fox.

"Hey, trusted friend, you know someone named Sickles?" I asked. He glanced over at me, evaluating my body language so that, apparantly, he could understand why I was asking about this person. This should have been a major clue.

He said that he did, and I said that I wanted to meet him. He was apprehensive, asking why. I explained the domain name purchase, and at least I could buy this guy a beer or something. Then I added, "Plus, he's got a pet fox, and I've never seen one up close before."

My friend burst out laughing. "Sickles?!" he exclaimed. "A pet fox? Naaah, he's probably talking about his plushie."

I enthusastically explained the full story, since I believed it to be true. My friend just smiled and shrugged, and said that this particular young man was most likely at an arcade, that we just happened to be rather close to.

Sure enough, we wander into a rather seedy little dive with a bar, some air hockey tables, some arcade games and.. there he is. My trusted friend led me over to the guy, and introduced us to eachother. He looked a bit surprsied. I just somehow knew right away this guy had no pet fox, and I was a bit angry that he had lied to me.

He was of average height, my age (about 25), had a sunken face, greasy hair, a scraggly manbeard, and was rather scrawny. However, the eyes were completely crazy and wild. He shook my hand and then blurted out something extremely random. Unfortunatly I cannot remember exactly what it was, but I do remember being completely thrown for a loop. It was something akin to "I once ate a whole pizza all by myself."

I thanked him for the domain name, and then started asking about the pet fox. I was pissy since I'd thought he'd lied to me, so I nagged him about it. Eventually he admitted he had lied and apologised. Now I wasn't angry anymore, so I let it go.

The arcade was connected to a laser-tag type of place, and we all decided to play a round. First, however, we had to wait for the current round, so we went up to an observation deck above the playing area to watch the game. I dont know what happened, but Sickles immediatly started bouncing around and screeching, leaning off the railing and making animal noises at the players, and basically just acting like a total fruit loop.

All the high-school age toughs that were there in their starter jackets with their puffy-banged girlfriends started staring at us and making little comments and laughing. Sickles continued acting like a retarded meth addict, so I decided that something on the other side of the observation deck was very, very interesting and went over there to examine it quietly.

While I was over there wishing the damn game would start so we could go play and then leave, Sickles would come up to me about every five minutes and say something completely bizzare. The one thing I do remember him saying, very vividly, was "Look, I'm an Indian Cab Driver!" He then made the car-driving steering-wheel motion with his hands, shreiked loudly, then squeezed the sides of his face like little kids do, then bounded off to the rest of the group on the other side of the observation deck. Okkkkaaaaay.

Finally the game started, and I dedicated myself to shooting everyone and everything with my lasertag gun, and everyone had fun. As we were leaving, Sickles turned to us and asked if we wanted to come over to his house. It was about 11pm and I had to drive back to my home city, but my friend (who had driven us) wanted to go pick up some video that Sickles had borrowed. So, to Sickles house we went!

We followed Sickles in his beaten down old boat to a nice, completely dark suburban house. We waited in our car while he ran in. A few seconds later, one of the bedroom lights lit up. My friend made this uneasy sound and said something like "I dunno. Maybe we should come back tomorrow. It looks like everyone's sleeping." I nodded, but it was out of my hands.

Eventually Sickles comes running back out and tells us to come on in. Inside, I find a very nice, rather bewildered house-mom in a robe with curlers in her hair trying to give us lemonaide, pop, whatever. She asks me basically who I am, and we strike up a little bit of the formalities while I gulp down the drink. Her talking to me causes Sickles to whine and simper, trying to get us to go into the basement "to see his fursuit"..

So down into the basement we go, where Sickles drags out random trash bags and boxes with blue fur and foam sticking out. Its a sonic fursuit, he says proudly. All I see is a lot of random blue shapes of fur. He goes on more and more about Sonic to us, while we nod dumbly, and all the while in the rather cramped area, I start smelling something rather unplesant.

I wrote the smell off to leaky sewer gas or something, and while my friend steers the conversation back to getting back whatever it was we were here for in the first place, I decide to escape back upstairs to return the now emtpy glass.

I get upstairs to find his mom gone, but I find his father. His dad is standing at the foot of the stairs, looking like he just woke up, but seems very glad to see me. We shake hands firmly and do the professional-guy sort of introductions.

After a few seconds of comparing our respective careers, he asks me how I know his son, in this wierd, sort of expectant way. I say that I actually don't, we were just here to pick something up. His father nods quietly, and I look over at him, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of something.

I don't know what the right word is, but his father looked suddenly very old, very tired, and very sad. Sickles seemed like a harmless sort, he wasn't going to be in jail for murder or drug offenses or anything, but still, a father must have all sorts of hopes and dreams for the little baby boy that he's working to support.. When that little baby grows up to be a spaz obsessed with a cartoon character, I guess that's kind of heartbreaking. However, maybe the father knew more about his son than I did at that time.. Some stuff that would make me sad too.

On the drive back to my friend's place, I made the offhand mention of the smell in the basement. My friend inhales sharply, then says something like "Yep. Yeah, you'll notice that around him. Did you hear the noise too?"

I was a bit confused, so I said no. Then my friend says "Yeah, he's part of the crinkle-crinkle set."

I am completely confused. "The what?"

My friend glances over at me again. "The crinkle-crinkle set. You know, the... uh... " I am lost. I look blankly at him. "The babyfurs! He's a babyfur!"

Up until that point, I had only seen the #babyfurs chat room on IRC, and had honestly thought it must have been fans of that horrible cartoon phenomenon where they have a baby Tom & Jerry or baby Scoobie Doo & Gang, or whatever. I had to have babyfurs explained to me.

I was horrified, but apparantly there was more to come. "You know, apparantly he really likes where he works, too. Because, you know, of his interest."

I dont want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. "Where does he work?"

"A nursing home, as one of those care nurses."

Oh. Fuck. No. Suddenly I remember that horrible, sad, lonely look in his father's face. And suddenly I understood. And right then and there, I decided that no matter what hardships I have to endure, my elderly parents are NEVER EVER going to a nursing home.

So, anyone else have any good/weird/frightning/other stories? :)

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

That story deserves to be its own article on the front page.

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 595

That's scary... :shock:

Presea · Coadjutor Joined: 14 Nov 2004 Posts: 71

*looks at the story*

Brrr. Reading that gives me chills towards the end.

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 312

Congratulations. With your tale of sorrowful woe and woeful sorrow, you have one the completely useless and hollow gesture of my marginal acceptance.

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

the ending to that will give me nightmares for weeks.

Anencephalic Baby Jesus · Rasophore Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 69

I used to be rather heavy into furry (cough) and took it a little too seriously, now I look back and shake my head at my silliness

That's the funny part. Someday, they'll look back on what they were doing when they were 20 or 25 and realize what a dope they were.

And if they don't, well, after reading your description of this guy Sickles... are the furries of today the crazy, babbling homeless of tomorrow?

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

That's the greatest first post ever. Welcome to CYD!!!!!!!!!

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

Interesting story. Well-written, too.

But, maybe I'm just slow, here. What I got from the ending is that the parents are probably going to wind up in an elderly nursing home, due to their son's inability to support them.

Sad, yes, but I don't see what's so "terrifying".

Look, most of the time I'm able to get the gist of things, but, just this once, could someone spell it out for me, as much as I'll probably regret it?

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

I think the gist was that the guy is "special" in some way... either by some mental defect, or willfully by simply being a furry dork. I interpreted the tired look of the father to mean that, aside from seeing a future where his hopes for his son never come anywhere near fruition, the father also has a sense of resignation that their progeny will forever be a burden on them - eeking out a meager existence working in a nursing home then hurrying home to play on the Internet, dress up as Sonic, and crap his pants... presumably by choice... all largely on his parents' dollar until the day they die.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

I thought it was that the parents knew they might one day end up in a nursing home being taken care of by a furry freak.

Rural Pimp · Rasophore Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 69

...A shitloving furry freak.

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

I am glad the story was liked. :) I think everyone who has been in furry for a while has a few absolutely horrifying tales up their sleeve.. (And you should share them! :) That one is probably my worst, but I've got a few more smaller ones.

As for the father's reaction, I don't know exactly what caused it, I didn't pry. I'd think everyone who is guessing that it is one thing or another, it was probably all of those feelings rolled up in a big ball of parental angst at the state of his son.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

Unfortunately, I've always been too much of an insensitive, inconsiderate asshole to allow myself to be guilted into being "friends" with someone even though they're "different" or "special".

As such, I've never really encounted stories as horrifying as yours.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

I've never really known a furry fanboy in person. All online horror stories are fairly bland compared to real-life encounters. I think the only brushes with fanboys I've had that left me mind-boggled were:

Ebonyleopard · Venter Joined: 15 Sep 2004 Posts: 218

I think the gist was that the guy is "special" in some way... either by some mental defect, or willfully by simply being a furry dork. I interpreted the tired look of the father to mean that, aside from seeing a future where his hopes for his son never come anywhere near fruition, the father also has a sense of resignation that their progeny will forever be a burden on them - eeking out a meager existence working in a nursing home then hurrying home to play on the Internet, dress up as Sonic, and crap his pants... presumably by choice... all largely on his parents' dollar until the day they die.

I guess the only topper would be his father finding out that his blood line stops there because of other choices the guy probably will decide to take as well.

Mastertran · Prattler Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 174

If I was his father I would have killed myself years ago. Either that or beaten my son to death with a brick of some sort.

Shmeckopolis · Vociferator Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 314

The fat otaku (I guess that's a redundant term) among a group of my brother's friends that got pissy that we referred to Megazone 23 as "Megazone twenty-three" rather than "Megazone two-three" and walked several miles home from the mall instead of being around us heathens.

Wow. That's a whole new level of sad...

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 595

The fat otaku (I guess that's a redundant term) among a group of my brother's friends that got pissy that we referred to Megazone 23 as "Megazone twenty-three" rather than "Megazone two-three" and walked several miles home from the mall instead of being around us heathens.

Wow. That's a whole new level of sad...

Look at it this way, it's one way to make a Otaku actually exercise.

Akhetnu · Qualificator Joined: 27 Dec 2004 Posts: 25

Wow...that's a great piece of work. Insane, unkept, sonic-obsessed, and babyfur. Not just a regular babyfur mind you, but one who UTILIZES his diapers. A wonderful specimen of anthropomorphic pathos.

I sometimes check the babyfur chatrooms for a good laugh (which usually ends up traumatizing me), and the ones who crap themselves are considered disgusting by the other babyfurs who 'merely' wear diapers for kicks without the shite. I've even been pressuered to 'wear' by certain furs I meet in person, and needless to say I flee.

I generally hang out with well-adjusted furries (yeah they exist), and leave the choad warriors alone. Although I have been tempted to give them a nice talking to...might actually help some of them to wake up and realize that furry is art and enjoyment, not plush-screwing and ego-tripping.

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

I've even been pressuered to 'wear' by certain furs I meet in person, and needless to say I flee.

If this happened to me, there would have been spontanious violence... However, the use of peer pressure in that situation is just too surreal..

"Come on, try it! Everyone else is doing it!"

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

I once was with some guys (not mentioning names) in a furry meet with lots of drinking and shopping and shit. One guy, Jari aka jpkwolf, gaywolf, wolfcub etc. suddenly decided, ass drunk, to strip himself completely naked and sat on the couch. I checked what the fuck he was doing and the son of a bitch was masturbating. I went to another room immediately to drink more.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

I've even been pressuered to 'wear' by certain furs I meet in person, and needless to say I flee.

If this happened to me, there would have been spontanious violence... However, the use of peer pressure in that situation is just too surreal..

"Come on, try it! Everyone else is doing it!"

I once was with some guys (not mentioning names) in a furry meet with lots of drinking and shopping and shit. One guy, Jari aka jpkwolf, gaywolf, wolfcub etc. suddenly decided, ass drunk, to strip himself completely naked and sat on the couch. I checked what the fuck he was doing and the son of a bitch was masturbating. I went to another room immediately to drink more.

I think my problem is I could never see myself in any sort of situations like those. It just wouldn't come to be.

Rural Pimp · Rasophore Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 69

The worst I´ve experienced was being at a dorm party where people were watching japanese shit porn while drinking vodka and eating popcorn. They didn´t do for kicks, though. It was more like some kind of gross-out contest. "Dude, I´ve studied zoomrphology! I can take anything! Hit me!"

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

The worst I´ve experienced was being at a dorm party where people were watching japanese shit porn while drinking vodka and eating popcorn. They didn´t do for kicks, though. It was more like some kind of gross-out contest. "Dude, I´ve studied zoomrphology! I can take anything! Hit me!"

Självklart, vi brukar titta på fartbrazil med vår synthspelare när vi super. Det är äckligt men faktiskt skitkult.

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 312

Självklart, vi brukar titta på fartbrazil med vår synthspelare när vi super. Det är äckligt men faktiskt skitkult.

Flibbity wibbity schadenwhawha? I think that Donny and you are the only ones in the general intarwebular area that speak Finnish, or Dutch, or Danish, or Norwegian, or Afrikaans, or whatever. And how do you pronounce the "å," anyway?

Bunnylover · Qualificator Joined: 11 Dec 2004 Posts: 16

I think it's Swedish and the å is pronounced roughly like the English 'oar'. Swedish doesn't seem too hard a language to pronounce, compared to some I can think of. Now Finnish on the other hand... I swear that's all vowels. For a start it's not even Indo-European. Being as it is an Ural-Altaic langauge (most of central and northern Asia come under this grouping) it actually has more in common with Mongolian or Kazakh than anything else. Oh, and Danish is a bastard too apparently.

Anyway, yeah, like anyone wanted to know any of that...

Though if you're really feeling masochistic, try Welsh for size. Truly the Devil's tongue that one...

Mastertran · Prattler Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 174

I tried learning Welsh and it nearly killed me.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

I generally hang out with well-adjusted furries (yeah they exist)

Liar.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

We've always laffed "STARGÅTE" It would read like... Stargoatee! =)

SonicFan to stay on track!

Codename Gåatse!

IceCat · Prattler Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 119

That was so creepy.

Later

IceCat

Rural Pimp · Rasophore Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 69

Codename Gåatse!

Say Donny, you don´t happen to live in Turku, do you? Ever heard of Axelbandet?

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

I guess the only topper would be his father finding out that his blood line stops there because of other choices the guy probably will decide to take as well.

If that was my kid I'd be very very glad he wouldn't be reproducing.

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 522

I guess the only topper would be his father finding out that his blood line stops there because of other choices the guy probably will decide to take as well.

If that was my kid I'd be very very glad he wouldn't be reproducing.

If that was my kid he would've been kicked the fuck out of my house and I would've been with my wife trying to pump out another kid, one that's not so much a failure.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

If that was my kid he would've been kicked the fuck out of my house and I would've been with my wife trying to pump out another kid, one that's not so much a failure.

Tell us about her big tits again.. :twisted:

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

Say Donny, you don´t happen to live in Turku, do you? Ever heard of Axelbandet?

I do.. and I haven't... Naturally haven't if they are Bättre Fålk... =)
They any good?
Go forth ... and Find me samples!

Rural Pimp · Rasophore Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 69

Well Donny, check out www.abo.fi/karen/special/axelbandet/ I know some of these guys and they are pretty much insane. Ever seen a whole big band playing drunk and butt assed naked? I sure have, and they where damn good too! I also remember that on their old webpage (late 1990´s), they used to have some carefully hidden Disney fanporn...

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 522

Tell us about her big tits again.. :twisted:

Man they're so huge

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Tell us about her big tits again.. :twisted:

Man they're so huge

And pendulous. Don't forget pendulous.

LSH · Qualificator Joined: 30 Sep 2004 Posts: 32

but, are not 90% of furrys odd anyyways? or is this odd in a relitive sense?