Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

Well, I didn't expect to get that fursuit article on the front page without some review, and now that I look at it again, it seems perhaps a bit harsh and disturbing.

Maybe its just me, but if any regulars here are offended or consider it a bit out of line, feel free to ask to get it taken down. However, if you enjoy it, then I guess leave it up. It just seems so out of left field in contrast to the well footnoted scholarly articles that are already up.....

Anyway, apologies to any that actually are upset! I'm not normally that mean. I think I was just pissy that the cable guy was late..

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Well, I didn't expect to get that fursuit article on the front page without some review, and now that I look at it again, it seems perhaps a bit harsh and disturbing.

I'd say it's a pretty honest and open look into one of the dankest corners of the fandom. I say let 2005 truly be the year we start shocking people into comas!

Maybe its just me, but if any regulars here are offended or consider it a bit out of line, feel free to ask to get it taken down. However, if you enjoy it, then I guess leave it up. It just seems so out of left field in contrast to the well footnoted scholarly articles that are already up.....

Considering Mitch gave the okay, it wouldn't get taken down even if they asked. More likely a hearty laugh would be had by anyone within earshot of such a request. Secondly, even without the text the images are damning far beyond anything that could be verbalized. Those are fucking scary, on a Silence of the Lambs meets Donny Darko level, except with more buggery*, and it's REAL.

Anyway, apologies to any that actually are upset! I'm not normally that mean. I think I was just pissy that the cable guy was late..

We are not about apologies here, we're about opening up the fandom with a scalpel and marveling at it's internal grotesqueries. Simply adopt a clinical attitude to the whole mess and you'll find it will all become much easier.

*I've seen the videos. No, I don't like to talk about it :cry:

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

We are not about apologies here, we're about opening up the fandom with a scalpel and marveling at it's internal grotesqueries. Simply adopt a clinical attitude to the whole mess and you'll find it will all become much easier.

*I've seen the videos. No, I don't like to talk about it :cry:

Sounds just fine to me. I think I've found the right place then.

Somehow being in the fandom for a while managed to slowly raise the threshold of outright wrong-ness that I was able to
endure. I see something a little weirder each day, until finally I'm able to stare the devil himself in the eye and not blink.

After taking a long get-my-shit-together type of travel voyage, I come back and everything just seems so much more ludicrious, bizzare and perverted. I start to question the way everything is, (sort of like how you realize how wierd a word is if you think about it long enough) and am even baffled at my own involvement in such a horrifying playground of insanity.

Websites like this and all of the other fanboy meltdown stuff floating around serve as that oh-so-needed wakeup call to people like me. That article was a part of my own little internal meltdown/wake-up honestly.

And yes, those videos were really disturbing, worse than the images. Ugh.

--
And to make up for a kind of pointless thread, here is a Mark Merlino story:

I used to live in Los Angeles. I actually found furry there through an MFA friend of mine. The first furs I met were sort of on the outer edges of Merlino's clique. One day we went to his house for some reason, and I remember there was a lot of random junk laying around, a ton of small animals in cages, a lot of odd people sleeping on couches, and I think I remember some natty high-pile carpets and someone trying to sell me some speakers.(?)

We all left to go to a CF8 planning meeting, which the only thing I remember was that it was the first time I ever saw open male-male affection. Later a whole ton of us all went to some diner. It was me, the two or three furs I knew, Merlino and his boyfriend, and a ton of these random, boisterous, hyperactive kids that were there for some reason. All of the kids pretty much sat at one table, and we sat at another.

All through the dinner the kids kept getting refills and making noise and throwing things around, while Merlino made a clumsy pass at me (I was a shy 18 year old, my friends sort of kept him away from me.). The kids all left to go to some other store in the same area as the diner, and shortly afterwards the manager came up to us and told us that the other table didn't leave any tip and left a huge mess. Thus, we were no longer getting any service at all and were requested to leave.

Everyone was really embarassed and ponied up a bunch of money for the tip. That was the only time I ever was around him, except to attend my first con, CF8. What a mindfuck that was. The very first thing I saw when walking through the hotel lobby doors were two huge black women in horse halters whipping eachother. If it werent for the fact that my friend had driven, I probably would have turned around and went right back home.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Venter Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 258

This is the kind of thing that makes me want to stroll into one of their conventions with an Uzi and start spraying bullets.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Jesus. Why did I look? Why?!

The article was pretty good and straight forward - not nearly as disturbing as I thought your take may be by your apology - however, the pictures are scarring.

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

Lovely article...
PS: I'm fatbat ;)

http://www.godhatesfurries.com/viewimage.php?id=28

SquareMoogle · Venter Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 238

Vitae, you still hang around the Sanefurs?
If ya do, make sure they get these:
(NSFW)
http://wish.ytmnd.com/
http://wish2.ytmnd.com/
Courtesy of an annoying ytmnd person. :)

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

Vitae, you still hang around the Sanefurs?
If ya do, make sure they get these:
(NSFW)
http://wish.ytmnd.com/
http://wish2.ytmnd.com/
Courtesy of an annoying ytmnd person. :)

I haven't been to sanefurs in forever, I may just pop in sometime soon.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Lovely article...
PS: I'm fatbat ;)

http://www.godhatesfurries.com/viewimage.php?id=28

OMFG MY... okay. Dude, how much do you weigh? Is that part of a fetish?

I'm eating three thick, juicy hot links on buns right at this very moment. *takes another bite* I like how they 'pop' when I bite into them and the spicy, delicious meat juice flows into my mouth igniting my taste buds in an orgy of flavor. Does that make you horny? :P

NO I'M NOT BEING MEAN. Anyone posting their pic online should be prepared for a little ribbing. It's a test of character, if they can't be cool with it then they suck.

No, seriously, I'm polishing them off as I write this, and they are good :)

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

Lovely article...
PS: I'm fatbat ;)

http://www.godhatesfurries.com/viewimage.php?id=28

OMFG MY... okay. Dude, how much do you weigh? Is that part of a fetish?

I'm eating three thick, juicy hot links on buns right at this very moment. *takes another bite* I like how they 'pop' when I bite into them and the spicy, delicious meat juice flows into my mouth igniting my taste buds in an orgy of flavor. Does that make you horny? :P

NO I'M NOT BEING MEAN. Anyone posting their pic online should be prepared for a little ribbing. It's a test of character, if they can't be cool with it then they suck.

No, seriously, I'm polishing them off as I write this, and they are good :)

oh so hot, im stroking my big long dong.. oh wait... fuck, I don't have one. ;D
(imagirl)
I fully understand that when a picture is posted on the internet, it is never safe. Why I agreed to be in that picture... well, long story, but needless to say I regret it.
I laughed so damn hard at the tactfully placed hamburger though.. thanks, that made my day. ;)

(ps: I'm fat, but I don't use it as a fetish, I'm in the proccess of losing weight. I've also broke up with the guy in that picture.)

PSS: I'm engaged to Dr. Blair ;D

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

OMFG MY... okay. Dude, how much do you weigh? Is that part of a fetish?

I was actually conducting a small research effort into determining Vitae's gender. Signs point to female, but I'm not sure if its the authentic, documented, born-original type of female or not. No offense to Vitae there, but I've noticed a lot of gender switchery in the fandom, so I'm always a bit dubious.

Also, just in case I caused any confusion, the original "fatbat" picture on the article didn't have a hamburger. It actually had something a bit closer to those sausages you're eating. :)

I also have all these nagging questions for someone that was actually on that list, but I probably should keep them to myself..

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 595

Didn't make me blink at all but then I've seen worse. Far Far worse.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

Funny.. I was at CF 8... and few others...

Hard as I think.. and even looking at my photoes.. I can't think up any truly disturbing things...

One explanation might be...When ya have yer nose in the sketchbooks, and don't go from room party to room
party, ya miss a lot of the horrors... =)
And perhaps many furs act "normally" round cartoonists to get that free sketch! Then after you have done them one,
they let lose their fetishes and ask for sumfin sicker and twisted, for money! =)

Roxicat and some trannie security guy are about the weirdest things I recall! =)

And no un made passes at me... Oh God.. I'm ugly!! Waaaaaaaaaahhh!

Oh and Subversive... You actually were in Merlino's house? =)

Josh Z. · Apocrisiary Joined: 13 Jun 2004 Posts: 47

Hey guys, I'm a skunk.

Really all of those pictures are horrifying but that one just makes me laugh every time I see it.

Rural Pimp · Rasophore Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 69

Thanks Subversive, I laughed and laughed and laughed....
My favorite from the article gotta be the rubber perv decked out like a killer whale, suitably fat for the cetacean look!

Anencephalic Baby Jesus · Rasophore Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 69

AHHH!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(Those were screams of terror, not orgasmic bliss.)

Actually, most of the pics didn't bother me that much. The Shamu guy was just stupid and the duct tape guy made me giggle. It was Pisspig that did me in. Yuck. Thanks for the insight into the dark side of the fandom... for those of us who've never been there and don't really want to go, either.

...Do these people realize how ridiculous they look?

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

Hard as I think.. and even looking at my photoes.. I can't think up any truly disturbing things...

Roxicat and some trannie security guy are about the weirdest things I recall! =)

Oh and Subversive... You actually were in Merlino's house? =)

Well, it was my first con and I was a pretty sheltered kid before wandering into that mental circus. A few of the interesting things I remember were from room stuff, but a fair amount of memories from the pet auction and other random things. A lot of it is just one-off weirdness that you'd only see at the con.

I remember the trannie. He was guarding the door for the pet auction, I think. Later he (I think it was him, if not it was another trannie) was in the flattest teddy-bear costume ever, it looked like a gingerbread man. The mouth of the teddy bear was wide open, with a screen, and the guys face was behind it. He sat down next to me somewhere, and I rudely jumped up and ran off. That trannie, from what I remember, was one of the people brought in by Merlino's advertising of the con as an "alternative sexuality event" in the alternative papers.

And yeah, I was in Merlino's house. I remember very little of it, because it was only once and this was several years ago.. I do remember my friends there were pretty impressed with the guy and talked highly of him, so I thought he was some big important dude or something at the time. Now I use his face to censor out fursuit porn.

Paul · Vociferator Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 551

subversive, that was a great article. Whether it's too harsh I don't know, I've never been close to a furry con or a fursuit. But dagnabbit, it was a funny read. And the pictures are comedy gold. Not even the "pisspig" photo scared me, I laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair.

But still, seeing fursuiters in RL would probably make me panic and flee. There's just something creepy about them IMHO... Scary and funny at the same time.

m_estrugo · Vociferator Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 353

subversive, that was a great article. Whether it's too harsh I don't know, I've never been close to a furry con or a fursuit. But dagnabbit, it was a funny read. And the pictures are comedy gold. Not even the "pisspig" photo scared me, I laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair.

But still, seeing fursuiters in RL would probably make me panic and flee. There's just something creepy about them IMHO... Scary and funny at the same time.

Damn, I've -always- detested folks in animal suits. Argh. Like those annoying mascots in malls and amusement parks. Maaaan, I hated those. And when you're a kid, they walk -right- to you and try to get your attention while the only thing you want is that they disappear from your sight.

And now that I'm an adult, I have exactly the same feelings towards fursuiters. The further I am from them, the better.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

I see something a little weirder each day, until finally I'm able to stare the devil himself in the eye and not blink.

Heh, kinda sounds like a variation of an old sam Kinison routine...

"Bitter Ex-Furry Goes to Hell"

:twisted: *GROWL* *SNARL* *ROA-....

:shock:

:evil: Aw, FUCK, he's an EX-FURRY!

Ah, well, I'll give you the tour anyway... Here's the pit of eternal torment... Here's where we force-feed the camel dung...

So, you were into "Furry", huh?

:shock: AND anime?

:twisted: Hey, you want a job?

Blair · Rasophore Joined: 16 Jun 2003 Posts: 57

When i saw the "fatbat" picture i just groaned and when i called her, i pointed out the picture to her and asked for an explanation, all the while i was choking on laughing. I know what goes on there. Doesn't really bother me that much. Doesn't mean im not going to stop making fun of it though. Its just that funny.

If i freaked me out, i would've run away a long time ago.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Damn, I've -always- detested folks in animal suits. Argh. Like those annoying mascots in malls and amusement parks. Maaaan, I hated those. And when you're a kid, they walk -right- to you and try to get your attention while the only thing you want is that they disappear from your sight.

I worked as "Dinersaurus".. the mascot for the food court at one of the malls where I worked during junior college. I didn't land the gig because I wanted to parade in a costume, but because I was working there as a puppeteer in their marionette theatre when they added the food court.

In a way, you're almost told to be annoying. You're expected to be playful and engaging with the people. If you've done it long enough, you get a feel for who you can and can't approach. You could usually interact with parents and younger adults. You could be gracious and charming (as much as one can be without speaking) with the elderly... but it's best to stay away from the guy with the Slayer T-shirt, wallet chain, and handlebar moustache. With kids, you had to watch their face. Some would be all smiles until you breached their safety zone. You could almost see the second you crossed into territory where, if you pressed further, they would start crying.

9 ft. - :D
7 ft. - :)
5 ft. - :oops:
4 ft. - :(
3 ft. - :cry:

Of course, I wasn't pulling stunts like the San Diego Chicken. I was mostly waving and greeting little kids if they came up to me. I think the worst I'd do is stand behind adults as they were looking up at menus at the food court places and mimic their actions. The suit's head was around 7 ft., so it'd actually be above theirs. Everyone around them would be snickering and the person I'd be mimicing would be clueless. Those kinds of lame antics, however, are pretty much expected of you if you're working as a mascot.

I think the funniest thing was when my "trainer" (the person that would peel kids off of my back, make sure I didn't fall down stairs, and just generally assist the jackass in the suit that made it hard to see where he was going) and I went into the mall corridors after a shift, and a kid saw the other person pull the suit's head off and started screaming bloody murder.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

Subversive can -and now must testify Mike's story about Merlino's house !

Do you swear to tell the dirt and nothing but the dirt, so help you Dog?

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

And no un made passes at me... Oh God.. I'm ugly!! Waaaaaaaaaahhh!

What? what the fuck is wrong with those people... I'd make a pass at you for sure. Hell, I'd probably try to molest you.

Subversive can -and now must testify Mike's story about Merlino's house !

Do you swear to tell the dirt and nothing but the dirt, so help you Dog?

As for Merlino's house, I'm getting the impression of something straight out of a survival horror game like Silent Hill or Fatal Frame (which pretty much has the darkest, dirtiest most evil looking house I've ever seen in any game).

Here's my pitch: Furry Survival Horror. You're alone in an abandoned hotel, mysteriously closed down three years ago and unofficialy off limits to the public. There were... disappearances, one of whom was your sister who worked there at the time. No one is talking, but you've gleaned that the last event held there was something called a 'furcon'. What happened here three years ago? What happened to the missing? Where is your sister? This is why you're here.

Sample scenario: You walk into a darkened room and notice a figure in the corner. As you pan your flashlight toward it to get a better look, you're startled to see a hideous beastly figure against the wall. It takes a few seconds to register that what you're seeing is mearly a costume, and you continue on your way. Later, when you return to that room, you find the fursuit has GONE. Other scary settings include finding a musty pile of plush animals and suddenly notice movement beneath it. Do you investigate?

Some of the enemies you'll encounter: you'll eventualy have close-quarter showdowns with furried bondage freaks, bloated zombies wearing ears and tails, surgically deformed catmen, evicerated plushies crawling across the ceiling dripping viscous white fluid from their ragged, burst rumps, and stray dogs driven mad from ritualistic sexual abuse, shuffling aimlessly through the halls attacking anyone and anything that cross their path.

Any more ideas? I was thinking in the meat lockers there might be amputee furries hanging from meat hooks, and so on and so forth...

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Don't forget furry mannequins animated by dark powers and weilding dildos and meat cleavers.

Then, when you're hiding in the closet, Pyramidhead rapes 'em.

Josh Z. · Apocrisiary Joined: 13 Jun 2004 Posts: 47

I worked as "Dinersaurus".. the mascot for the food court at one of the malls where I worked during junior college. I didn't land the gig because I wanted to parade in a costume, but because I was working there as a puppeteer in their marionette theatre when they added the food court.

Zenzhu, sir, that sounds like the BEST JOB EVER. I mean, I totally hate those guys in the suits but to BECOME ONE OF THEM and get paid to sweat and be annoying and goofy as possible sounds like a possible career path for me.

Obscenity · Qualificator Joined: 23 Jul 2004 Posts: 9

Lovely article...
PS: I'm fatbat ;)

http://www.godhatesfurries.com/viewimage.php?id=28

I swear to god I never saw anything...

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1030

I worked as "Dinersaurus".. the mascot for the food court at one of the malls where I worked during junior college. I didn't land the gig because I wanted to parade in a costume, but because I was working there as a puppeteer in their marionette theatre when they added the food court.

Zenzhu, sir, that sounds like the BEST JOB EVER. I mean, I totally hate those guys in the suits but to BECOME ONE OF THEM and get paid to sweat and be annoying and goofy as possible sounds like a possible career path for me.

8 years ago , I was 16, stoned out of my mind and wandering thru a plaza parking lot. I seen this trailer that was accepting applications and auditions to be Chucky Cheese. And for a second I thought that would be an awesome job for me ... then I quickly realized getting punched in the nads by kids, getting super hot pizza thrown at me , etc etc.. was going to seriously suck.

Tho I must say, getting the type of mascot job where I'd be pestering the shit out of people still holds some appeal to me. :)

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

We tend to have a much higher pain threshold here than you're giving us credit for, Subversive. But a damn fine first article if I do say so myself. You seem like the sort who's full of stories. I hope you choose to stay and further enlighten us.

Damn, I've -always- detested folks in animal suits. Argh. Like those annoying mascots in malls and amusement parks. Maaaan, I hated those. And when you're a kid, they walk -right- to you and try to get your attention while the only thing you want is that they disappear from your sight.

And now that I'm an adult, I have exactly the same feelings towards fursuiters. The further I am from them, the better.

Interesting, Miguel, I have the exact same reaction. Carnival mascots and that sort of crap used to freak me out as a kid, but these days they just piss me off. Just seeing one of them makes my skin crawl.

I feel the same way about clowns. I think it must be something to do with the fact that they just won't leave you alone and trying to get away will just encourage them. They can smell fear.

Zenzhu, you were a puppeteer? SWEET.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

While visiting CA, I stayed at a place of a guy who fixed allkindsa shit from animatronic dragons to monorail brakes at Disneyland..
With him I got to the back lot... thru a lil door, right next to Small World... and saw the mascots getting on a float or somesort...
And I just got this childish urge to wave at them and they waved back...

Ugly as some of them may be, it still felt nice. =) It's a kiddie thing.. not a furry thing! I didn't see them headless and scream bloody murder tho! =)

So Zen, O' puppet-master... Were they the marionette kind.. or the hand up the tuckus-kind? =)

Akhetnu · Qualificator Joined: 27 Dec 2004 Posts: 25

I admit I enjoy interacting with fursuiters, at least ones who can act the part, and the ones with quality suits. THeres a coyote fursuiter who I especially enjoy watching. I even wear a professionally-done anubis head with accompanying egyptian garb (sometimes for cons, sometimes for ritual, as the egyptians did wear masks to assume the persona of the gods). and yes, I'm thin.

So maybe that traumatizes me MORE to see them used for sex!(Airbrushing I can handle; I think it's exotic...maybe I'll put the anubis head on too, but I digress). BUT seeing a huge head frozen in an eternal grin, with fur swathed around the person four sizes too big (or small) having sex is rather revolting.

Same with plushie fuckers...holding a stuffed animal can make one feel secure at night, evoking warm feelings of when you were 6. But again, sexualizing stuffed animals destoys the purpose, making a childhood friend nothing more than an elaborate flowbee. And some people actually claim to have RELATIONSHIPS with their carved stuffed animals. Again, sexual desperation rears its ugly coke-bottle glasses-adorned head.

While I'm ranting, how can anyone be attracted to toons? Most of them have spaghetti for legs. If I want some quality furrotica, those bodies better be mostly human-like, dammit! And they better not have jobs on saturday morning television.

But I digress.

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

I admit I enjoy interacting with fursuiters, at least ones who can act the part, and the ones with quality suits.

That's one thing, in retrospect, I wish I had addressed better in that article. I think there is a core of fursuiters who just love what they do, have nothing to do with the whole fanboy nightmare, are good at their craft, and don't contribute negatively to the overall image.

I also wish I had addressed the many that are in it just because its the in thing to do, not for any popularity reason directly.

But honestly, the whole thing is corrupt now. If I was one of these in that innocent core, I'd be angry at the way things have gotten and most likely decide that it has been ruined beyond repair, try to find a new hobby, and maybe even write bitter articles about it on the Internet. :)

(Note: I was never a fursuiter.)

Quantum Coyote · Venter Joined: 12 May 2004 Posts: 221

Well, I didn't expect to get that fursuit article on the front page without some review, and now that I look at it again, it seems perhaps a bit harsh and disturbing.

Maybe its just me, but if any regulars here are offended or consider it a bit out of line, feel free to ask to get it taken down. However, if you enjoy it, then I guess leave it up. It just seems so out of left field in contrast to the well footnoted scholarly articles that are already up.....

The regulars? Pissed about that?? I kinda doubt it.. An article on over-the-top fursuit perversion? With lots'o graphic pics? AND a post about your personal run in with the illustrious Mr. Merlino? Naw, you don't belong at CYD at all ;)
Seriosly, I think it would take alot at this point for you to anger THEM (regulars), after all, I'm still kickin' around this joint.

Thanks for including Silfur in your slideshow, he belongs there. That pseudolagomorph creeps me the fuck out.. I read once (back when I used to lurk A.F.F.) about Silfur hitting on and harrassing some straight guy while in line for something at a con.

(also, I can't decide which is more fucked up, the 'whale thing' or the bathing of one of the ugliest suites ever in what looks like, and I assume to be, piss)

He wants your penis.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Regarding the puppets, they were the marionette kind.. strings and all. I was one of the preferred puppeteers because I actually put something into it.. using the puppets' weight to add to their movements and such. Most working there were high school kids that could barely be bothered to hold the thing upright on stage. Unfortunately, that meant I was in higher demand for the shows. Fortunately, it was hourly pay (it was my first paying job, BTW... high school summer jobs and all had been volunteer work), so more demand meant more pay.

It was really neat... getting to express yourself by manipulating these puppets.. discovering how each one had different centers of gravity, etc. One show (they rotated monthly) was a kind of "dinosaur parade." I was the only one strong enough to really work the T-Rex. I could lean out far enough to make him rush the kids sitting right near the stage, eliciting a wave of squeals, giggles, and screams. :twisted:

The mascot job was interesting, but hardly a career thing. It was just part of the job. Fortunately, this was a big dinosaur, so there was a foam body suit that had me pretty well insulated against assaults. If a kid did try to kick at my nuts, the most he could do was hit the foam layers that extended almost to my knees.

The enthusiasm and effort I put into my puppeteering also made me one of the favored workers for the mascots (my brother being the other favored one for the same reasons). Most of the people would just walk around and wave. But, my brother and I would learn to move in the suit so that we could do more than just stand and wave.. we could do all of those acrobatic and annoying things the people hated us for. :wink:

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

Any more ideas? I was thinking in the meat lockers there might be amputee furries hanging from meat hooks, and so on and so forth...

Suggestion 1
One of the "Bosses" would have to be a huge, oozing mound of pustule-encrusted flesh who constantly bellows indecipherable gibbers such as "Kimmaugh" and "Lawsuet"

Suggestion 2
As your walking down a hallway, suddenly from behind an apartment door a creature bursts out, but before you have a chance to shoot/stab/club it, it turns out to be a human. A very pasty, sickly looking human, but still a human, who introduces himself as "Mike". Mike claims he's on a "sacred quest" to "cleanse" the "perverse evil" from the hotel, and decides to join you. It quickly becomes apparent that Mike provides no help whatsover, as all he does is whine and complain as you move along, and immediately curls up into a corner crying for his "Mommy" at the slightest sign of danger, but taking credit when said danger is defeated. So, when he finally meets his demise in a cinematic cut-away by being sucked into and graphically ripped to pieces by what appears to be a gargantuan anus with bony protuberances, the sense of shock and disgust is accompanied by one of relief and satisfaction.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Today we've learned that not only does Zen Zhu enjoy charming little kids out of their pants, but has also apparently been John Malkovich.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

Today we've learned that not only does Zen Zhu enjoy charming little kids out of their pants, but has also apparently been John Malkovich.

I'd rather be John Holmes, myself.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Today we've learned that not only does Zen Zhu enjoy charming little kids out of their pants, but has also apparently been John Malkovich.

I'd rather be John Holmes, myself.

He died of AIDs after crossing over into the gay porn.

I'm just saying

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 365

I'd rather be John Holmes, myself.

He died of AIDs after crossing over into the gay porn.

:shock:

Ooooh-kay... SCRATCH that!

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Venter Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 258

Any more ideas? I was thinking in the meat lockers there might be amputee furries hanging from meat hooks, and so on and so forth...

Suggestion 1
One of the "Bosses" would have to be a huge, oozing mound of pustule-encrusted flesh who constantly bellows indecipherable gibbers such as "Kimmaugh" and "Lawsuet"

Suggestion 2
As your walking down a hallway, suddenly from behind an apartment door a creature bursts out, but before you have a chance to shoot/stab/club it, it turns out to be a human. A very pasty, sickly looking human, but still a human, who introduces himself as "Mike". Mike claims he's on a "sacred quest" to "cleanse" the "perverse evil" from the hotel, and decides to join you. It quickly becomes apparent that Mike provides no help whatsover, as all he does is whine and complain as you move along, and immediately curls up into a corner crying for his "Mommy" at the slightest sign of danger, but taking credit when said danger is defeated. So, when he finally meets his demise in a cinematic cut-away by being sucked into and graphically ripped to pieces by what appears to be a gargantuan anus with bony protuberances, the sense of shock and disgust is accompanied by one of relief and satisfaction.

"This plushie seems to have a sticky white substance on it. Wonder what it is..."

It could be a Pyramid Head thing. Your character walks into a hotel room and is met with the sight of two beings in bloody fursuits frantically humping each other. Characters freaks out and runs into a nearby closet, and when one comes to investigate, your character fires his gun and scares them both off.

Or, you could find violated, mutilated corpses with a note that says "TAKE THAT HYOOMONS" in blood.

Or is that too scary?

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

A semi-human (because of his dead wolf spirit), legless stump of a furry drags himself along the halls by his hands... trailing feces everywhere because his sphincter has been ruptured by his german shepard.

Or, better yet... his german shepard is fused to his back and ass like some kind of fleshy, fuzzy blob like something out of Altered States or The Fly.

Then there's the elevator that seems relatively clean, but when you look up at the mirrored ceiling, you see the walls are covered with spooge.

Every so often, a creature of unspeakable horror can be heard nearby, but rarely seen. His presence is announced by the "squeak squeak" of his inflatable pony body.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Venter Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 258

Perhaps a "female" creature with a penis that shoots out like a tentacle that proceeds to entwine you and slam you against the walls and floor.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Perhaps a "female" creature with a penis that shoots out like a tentacle that proceeds to entwine you and slam you against the walls and floor.

Leave my mother out of your perverted world!

Why are you all looking at me? WHAT? WHAT, DAMMIT!? I CUT YOU!

Kadius · Vociferator Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 637

I CUT YOU!

All right, we're going to use a fan brush here and, uh why don't you take some hunter green... And we are going to put a happy little Bush right down over here in the corner. There, and that'll just be our little secret... And if you tell anyone that that Bush is there, I will come to your house and I will cut you.

CrazyBomber · Rasophore Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 57

I only hope that the substance from the jug is liquid napalm or something similar.

RailFoxen · Venter Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 251

THE GOGGLES! THEY it's stunningly amazing for a moment just how overused this joke is on CYD. Regardless... FUCKING OW. Google doesn't cache enough images of bleeding eyes to cover this forum.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

ZEY DO NOTHINK!!

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

I'm pretty sure it ain't apple juice. Maybe this is one of those "was that trip really necessary" moments when that should be changed back to a link. bleeeargh...

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 766

You know, I'm thinking of doing something rather entertaining.
I've of course retired that shitty "fatbat" headpeice.
It's been sitting in my closet forever.

Should I ...
a) burn it with fire (and post pics)
b) sell it on e-bay for someone else to burn it with fire (and post pics)
c) keep it for memories (..)
d) taco

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1030

Should I ...
a) burn it with fire (and post pics)
b) sell it on e-bay for someone else to burn it with fire (and post pics)
c) keep it for memories (..)
d) taco

...hmmmmmmmmm

D.

Taco, definatly taco.

Kadius · Vociferator Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 637

D, while doing A.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

This deserves its own thread.

My gut answer would have to be "d) taco" (I love you for even putting it in there as an option; many people wouldn't have even had the foresight to consider it).

Though after a bit of consideration I'd have to go with "a) Burn it and post pictures".

As a furry mental health professional, I have to advise you that the best thing for you right now would be to burn that horrid thing. Divest yourself of your past, move towards the future. If anything, you can always make another one, and it'd probably be better now that you've had practice.

Also, hell it'd be pretty cool to see :twisted: (I, uh.. mean that in a totaly professional way of course)

EDIT: What Kadius said

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Throw it off of a tall bridge into a river while playing Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever." It's all emotional and stuff.

Yup yup yup.

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

scare some small children in the park at night.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Fill it with candy and let children whack at it. Or give it to some hobos.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Recreate "The Shining" in an abandoned mental hospital..