Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

After reading The New Meat's article on attending Further Confusion '05, I'm left to think "that's it?", along with "and you spent how much for this wonderful experiance?"

Since the report itself was somewhat uninteresting -either through the con itself not being very interesting, or The New Meat not being able to give a more ribald account of the goings on to protect the identity of those involved (possibly himself included)- I'll keep my questions down to the incidentals:

Our room was really posh but did have an odd smell, that one of my companions likened to flatulence, another to rotting meat, and myself to unwashed feet. I think it might have been a smoking room that they just relabeled. Still, it was a pretty nice room and the beds were comfortable.

Did you think to look under the bed? From what I understand, it happens a lot. I've also heard you can find lots of porn and stuff between the mattresses.

As of this writing, Fur Affinity Art Community seems to be the new gallery of choice, giving us a current furry shit ranking of VCL/Keenspace/Elfwood/Deviantart/Sheezyart/Fur Affinity Art Community

I've never heard of this place, Google search leads me nowhere and the few links I've found are dead or useless. Tell me more.

After that, I went to bed. And in the morning we went home.

You spent how much on this again?

I can understand how for those lead by fetishes or for whom it's the only sex they can get during the year it'd be important, but to go there willingly and in your right mind? As I've said before, not without the backup of a few friends, a good getaway car and definetly some anti-fur SA leaflets to leave behind.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

Or maybe there was a dead hooker inside the matrass...like in "4 rooms"...
And Skunk.. ya like fursmut.. don't be so squeamish bout cons.... =)

Like I said before, small eurocons are scarier than US ones in big hotels! =)

And meat... did ya see Roxicat's ballooney boobs or Animal-Magnetism-Duane dis time? =)

IceCat · Prattler Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 119

And meat... did ya see Roxicat's ballooney boobs or Animal-Magnetism-Duane dis time? =)

I did'nt see ether of them there this year.
As for Keven "Burn The Chair!" Duane, he dropped out of the fandom, now that everybody can burn thier own CD-Roms of furry smut, he quit the business a couple a years ago.

Later

IceCat

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Or maybe there was a dead hooker inside the matrass...like in "4 rooms"...
And Skunk.. ya like fursmut.. don't be so squeamish bout cons.... =)

W.. wa-what? I don't... what??

Yes, the people are scary. And tedious. And.. I don't think you can be friendly with them because they don't have much of a real sense of humor. Or, you know... reality.

Stoneth · Vociferator Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 545

As of this writing, Fur Affinity Art Community seems to be the new gallery of choice, giving us a current furry shit ranking of VCL/Keenspace/Elfwood/Deviantart/Sheezyart/Fur Affinity Art Community

I've never heard of this place, Google search leads me nowhere and the few links I've found are dead or useless. Tell me more.

You can find that gallery here:

http://www.furaffinity.net/

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

WHAT?!?!? YOU DARE CRITICIZE ME?!?!? I AM BEYOND REPROACH!!!! I M GOING AWAY AND NEVAR COMING BACK!!!!!!!

After reading The New Meat's article on attending Further Confusion '05, I'm left to think "that's it?",

Capture the tedium!

along with "and you spent how much for this wonderful experiance?"

Registration was $50. The room was technically free, since one of my fellow attendees owed me a large wad of cash and so knocked the room bill off of that.

Since the report itself was somewhat uninteresting -either through the con itself not being very interesting, or The New Meat not being able to give a more ribald account of the goings on to protect the identity of those involved (possibly himself included)-

I was trying to bang out that con report as quickly as possible after getting back home, so it's far from my best work. But even if I'd had weeks and weeks to fine tune it I doubt I could have made it much more interesting because not very much happened there. Nobody stalked us, nobody tried to get any orgies started this year. I'm sure there was lots going on behind closed doors but I wasn't invited.

The New Meat not being able to give a more ribald account of the goings on to protect the identity of those involved (possibly himself included)-

And just what are you implying there, good sir?????

Did you think to look under the bed? From what I understand, it happens a lot. I've also heard you can find lots of porn and stuff between the mattresses.

Nothing under the bed, but I didn't check between the matress. Now I know for future reference.

As of this writing, Fur Affinity Art Community seems to be the new gallery of choice, giving us a current furry shit ranking of VCL/Keenspace/Elfwood/Deviantart/Sheezyart/Fur Affinity Art Communit

I've never heard of this place, Google search leads me nowhere and the few links I've found are dead or useless. Tell me more.

I just know what I read in the papers. But I think someone else beat me to explaining this.

You spent how much on this again?

I can understand how for those lead by fetishes or for whom it's the only sex they can get during the year it'd be important, but to go there willingly and in your right mind? As I've said before, not without the backup of a few friends, a good getaway car and definetly some anti-fur SA leaflets to leave behind.

Like I've said before, I mainly go because my girlfriend likes going and blowing money on stuffed toys and junk. Anyway, it's fun enough, in its own way, because you get to see people in silly costumes and meet a lot of people that you only know from the interweb. But none of that really makes for a very interesting con report. I just didn't see any crotchless fursuits walking around and nobody wants to hear about the conversations I had with random nobodies. I didn't see anyone famous doing anything interesting. I mean, for God's sake, Kajima wasn't even wearing fingerless gloves!!! It's like he knew I was coming!!!

But in the time since I wrote that, other details of the weekend have drifted back to me.

-Saw Doodles from SA briefly when I was contemplating buying the Sheba comic. He came up, said "It's worth it," I said "Okay," and he left. About twenty minutes later I realized who he was.

- Eric Schwartz really has that basement-dwelling inbred look going for him.

- Lots of guys wearing overalls walking around. Supposedly that was the mark of a babyfur.

- Saw a few of those fetus fur signs up. I'll scan the one I rescued tomorrow.

- When I was in the parking lot trying to read the schedule at one point, some random guy came up and asked me events were going on that afternoon. When I told him, he hugged me. That was unexpected.

- This one time, I was talking to my friends and this random guy walked up and just stood there right next to us, kinda staring at us in that "I want to join this conversation but I have no social skills so please acknowledge me" kinda way. Creepy. I think it was because both my friends were ultra-rare non-hambeast furry girls. After a few minutes, he walked off again.

- We met some nice people who actually turned out to live in my neighborhood back home. We all went out for gyros. They were good.

That's all.

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

- This one time, I was talking to my friends and this random guy walked up and just stood there right next to us, kinda staring at us in that "I want to join this conversation but I have no social skills so please acknowledge me" kinda way. Creepy. I think it was because both my friends were ultra-rare non-hambeast furry girls. After a few minutes, he walked off again.

This happened to me plenty of times. but since I have a few minutes to kill here, I want to share one of my favorite con stories. :)

Most everyone I know (and still know) in furry have been hand-picked by me for being sane and normal, and these are normally who I room with. However, since I am a broke bastard, I tend to go for rooms that have plenty o' people in them and just crash on the floor to save money.

I was in one such room that was basically being rented by my friend who I will call "Dan". Dan is a straight, laid-back blue collar kind of guy who is a great person and can single-handedly make a con a really fun place to be. However, this year he offered a room space to some random person he knew online, who I think was named "Razor" or something.

The first time I met Razor, I had come in to drop my bags off with Dan and a few other friends. We opened the door, and Razor is laying in one of the beds, crying under the covers. Dan goes in to figure out whats the matter, while the rest of us just sorta stand there. After a few minutes of this, I decide to just go in and drop my stuff off, sit down, and wait for Dan. I sit on the floor near the bed. At one point, Razor kicks the sheets or something, making them billow out and blow a horrible stale fart smell all over me. FANTASTIC.

Eventually we signal that we're about to leave, so Dan tries to finish comforting Razor, and says that he's about to head out. Razor holds his arms open to hug Dan, and Dan leans in to hug him. Suddenly, Razor is pulling him into the bed, and you can see Dan flailing around trying to stay out. Eventually he is pulled free and leaves. He explains to us that Razor is upset that his online mate took one look at him at the con and decided he didn't want anything to do with him.

Later a small group of us are floating about the common areas, and we notice Razor always about 5 paces behind us. We'll turn around to look, and he won't acknowledge us, but keeps following us anyway. This continues for a long while and we just sorta let it go.

He continues to do basically fart up the room and act vagely creepy for the rest of the con, but his Grand Finale was to take place Sunday Morning.

Sunday Morning a huge majority of the people, including the person sharing the bed with Dan (note: nobody shared the bed with Razor. I slept on the floor) all left. I jumped off the floor and crawled into bed with Dan since it was soft and warm. I joke with the awake Dan that now I can tell everyone that I slept with him. We joke back and forth for a bit.

Eventually our conversation turns to what we find attractive, and even touches on our sexual fetishes. Dan is just one of those friends you can have conversations like this with. The only other person in the room is Razor, supposedly asleep in the other bed.

Right in the middle of us talking about something vagely erotic, we hear some kind of weird noise, and look over. The other bed is shaking, and in the little bit of light coming in the room, we can see Razor over there, furiously masterbating with no covers on, jiggling all over the place.

At this point, Dan and I suddenly look straight up and start both talking at the same time, very loudly, about ANYTHING. It was some kind of defense mechanism, I remember suddenly blurting out directions to my sister's house and him saying something about a warehouse. Eventually we can take no more and burst out laughing. By the time we have composed ourselves and look over, Razor is asleep with the sheets back on him. To this day, this remains one of the most bizzare things that have ever happened to me.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

Sounds like his namesake would best meet his wrist. I love the bit about his mate rejecting, and have to wonder what the other guy was expecting.

"Hey!! You aren't a 18 year old 20 foot dragon, damnit. You liar!"

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

Subversive, you seriously have the best stories. You need to write these up.

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1030

Or maybe there was a dead hooker inside the matrass...like in "4 rooms".

Seems like no one else has seen that movie other than friends who I've finally FORCED into watching it. :)

4 Rooms is better than Pulp Fiction , better than Kill Bill.

I've been told Tarantino only directed one of the 'rooms', never paid much attention the credits, but I was under impression it was his whole project.

well whatever... 4 rooms is the shiz... its the reason I even have Combustible Edison CD's, and ever considered a job as a bell-hop :)

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

4 rooms is the shiz... its the reason I even have Combustible Edison CD's, and ever considered a job as a bell-hop :)

Representin'! :) And I think tarantino directed the last one, only.

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1030

Representin'! :) And I think tarantino directed the last one, only.

Thats the way I understood it. Didnt he produce it or something though? I liked the interested way the rooms were linked together with some weird loops in time.

I also notice the Turkish Royals in the picture.. excellent choice :)

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

Hey it's that guy I used to be! =) With one chin

Wonder which con is this from... CF 7 or 8 .. not 9 fer sure...
Who's plushies are those... Draino really helps ya know...

Paul · Vociferator Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 551

Representin'! :) And I think tarantino directed the last one, only.

Thats the way I understood it. Didnt he produce it or something though?

The Internet Movie Database is your friend: Full cast and crew for "Four Rooms".

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

The Misbehavers section is teh best.. =) Dead hooker in the matrass.. room on fire.. syringe sticking on bellhop's leg.... vomit allover...
Kids drunk from champagne, watching adult channel when the badass dadoo walks in! =)

Now.... BE-HAAAVE!

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

Hey it's that guy I used to be! =) With one chin (picture)

In an attempt to stalker you (or just because I was bored, more like) I went to the root url your picture is in, and also found some gems while looking at old con pics.. (I've never seen most of these before)

I also noticed things in the background of a couple and felt I should share, for some reason.....

Kadius · Vociferator Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 637

Wow, I'm glad I haven't gone to a furry convention.

At this point I'm not sure I'd ever go to one.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

http://www.furaffinity.net/

Annnnnd... DOWN.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

I was trying to bang out that con report as quickly as possible after getting back home, so it's far from my best work. But even if I'd had weeks and weeks to fine tune it I doubt I could have made it much more interesting because not very much happened there. Nobody stalked us, nobody tried to get any orgies started this year. I'm sure there was lots going on behind closed doors but I wasn't invited.

But it's just not 'furry' without tales of rampant costumed mansex :(

You're just being lazy. Now I demand that next time you work harder to insinuate yourself into the inner sanctum of furry perversion, even if it means putting your own sweet ass up for bait to get you in the door. It's just what a proper dedicated journalist would do.

And just what are you implying there, good sir?????

Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm implying here :wink:

- This one time, I was talking to my friends and this random guy walked up and just stood there right next to us, kinda staring at us in that "I want to join this conversation but I have no social skills so please acknowledge me" kinda way. Creepy. I think it was because both my friends were ultra-rare non-hambeast furry girls. After a few minutes, he walked off again.

That's incredibly sad. See, that's why I'd feel uncomfortable going to a con, because I'd know why that guy was there and I'd wonder if maybe, just maybe, that made me just a little bit closer to being that sort of loser...

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

You're just being lazy. Now I demand that next time you work harder to insinuate yourself into the inner sanctum of furry perversion, even if it means putting your own sweet ass up for bait to get you in the door. It's just what a proper dedicated journalist would do.

I'm only so dedicated for free. Once Mitch starts paying for these...well, then, I'll be so dedicated that my ass will spout forth a stream of delicious candy, it will.

If I'd planned this out better, I would have had a CYD T-shirt on hand. but now I know.

Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm implying here :wink:

Call me sometime. :wink:

That's incredibly sad. See, that's why I'd feel uncomfortable going to a con, because I'd know why that guy was there and I'd wonder if maybe, just maybe, that made me just a little bit closer to being that sort of loser...

I've been sassed!! :shock:

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

That's incredibly sad. See, that's why I'd feel uncomfortable going to a con, because I'd know why that guy was there and I'd wonder if maybe, just maybe, that made me just a little bit closer to being that sort of loser...

I've been sassed!! :shock:

You have NOT been sassed!

Oddly enough I wasn't even thinking about it in that context :oops:

It wasn't meant as a comment or judgement on your going there, just a thought on what I'd probably feel if I went, or seriously thought of going..

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

I've been sassed!! :shock:

You have NOT been sassed!

Oddly enough I wasn't even thinking about it in that context :oops:

It wasn't meant as a comment or judgement on your going there, just a thought on what I'd probably feel if I went, or seriously thought of going..

Oh, I'm just kidding around. I still love ya!

But I'll only say it when Donny's not around... I don't want to send him into a fit of jealous rage...