Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

While looking at today's Kevin and Kell (about ready to take that off of my webcomic list cuz it just gets less and less amusing.. not that it was great to begin with), I noticed a banner ad for Anthrocon. The theme this year is "Heroes," and the banner sported a furry fireman that was, of course, a dalmation (how original). Thinking to myself "Oh hell no... they're not trying to milk some kind of drama from basing a theme around firemen, policemen, and 9-11 are they?" I clicked the link. It remains uncertain as to what the theme intends to focus on, but it looks like it's just heroes in general.

At any rate, I found this lovely bit of broad-brushing:

What Anthrocon is all about
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"If you as an adult still occasionally like to flip to the old cartoons, or have a stuffed animal sitting on the dashboard of your car, or buy cereal because it has a cool tiger on the box, you may well enjoy what our fandom has to offer..."

So.. apparently... children that want Fruit Loops because Toucan Sam told them to buy it, or that sorority chick with the beanies in her car's rear window, or that secretary in your office that has the teddy bear she got for Valentine's Day sitting on her desk might very well enjoy walking around a room filled with beardy hambeasts dressed as latex dickvixens and peddling hyperherm kitty porn.

Fans are found in all corners of the world, and come from all races and ages and creeds. We are bound together across the most daunting barriers by our mutual admiration for these beasts of myth and legend who, by simple reflection, give us a better window into ourselves.

These people would have a brilliant future in political writing. If they can put this kind of spin on the fandom, just imagine what they could do for Bush's PR.

A large number of anthropomorphics fans are employed in scientific or technical fields. A significant percentage have college diplomas and many of those hold advanced degrees.

This is rather interesting in light of the discussion in another thread regarding the question posed to the furry audience about college degrees. Of course, while many of them are employed in technical fields, the blurb fails to mention it's commonly as tech supporters and such. We're not talking about web designers that pull in 90K a year here.. we're talking about the guy across the register from you at Kinko's, the guy answering your email to AOL help, or the guy selling you a digital camera at Circuit City. Advanced degrees usually center around philosophy, mythology, dead languages, and other areas that certainly stoke the ego a little, but otherwise only qualify you to work at the aforementioned tech support or floor sales jobs.

Our casual observer may simply be unaware that it is only in the last forty years that cartoons and cartoon animals have been relegated to the world of children. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and their ilk were once targeted primarily to an adult audience, their productions filled with innuendo and biting political satire. Fans of anthropomorphics today simply have not forgotten those roots.

They sure haven't. In fact, they've clung to them in an effort to perpetuate the carefree days of childhood. They've paid homage to cartoons' adult audience by adding throbbing cocks and gallons of spooge to them.

The average Furry fan is cast from the same mold as the science fiction or sword-and-sorcery fan; all of us imagine strange and thrilling worlds and try to picture ourselves living in those worlds.

And yet, the average furry fan manages to remain lower and geekier than the SF or fantasy fan. While the latter imagine strange and thrilling worlds.. and picture themselves in them... furry fans imagine strange and fucked-up worlds, and do everything they can to create the illusion that they really are living in them.

Sadly, as a newcomer to the field, Furry fandom is still greatly misunderstood. In the early days of the fandom the conventions were held in West Coast venues; inevitably, the more free-spirited culture of the region affected the character of the conventions, and hence the public perception of Furry fandom. It is an image that has been perpetuated (and grossly exaggerated) in recent pop culture arenas such as MTV, tabloid news magazines and the TV show CSI.

Seriously, these guys need to look into political spin-doctoring, because the phrase "free-spirited culture" to describe West Coast furries waving their dingles for TV cameras is abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.

Furry fandom has endured, however, just as fans in other genres had to endure shocked stares and uninformed finger-pointing in their awkward early days. More and more people are coming to realize that Furry fandom is not about the curious behavior trumpeted in the scandal sheets, but is instead an artistic and literary genre that is practiced and enjoyed by tens of thousands worldwide.

Well, you got the tens part right.

We count among our ranks professional sports mascots, animators, cartoonists, puppeteers, artists, illustrators, and writers,

Unfortunately, those professionals don't count themselves among furries. So the claim to fame falls a little flat.

We invite you to visit any one of our many gatherings worldwide to see for yourself what Furry fandom is really all about.

Eyewash fountains will be stationed at convenient locations around the convention area.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

This must be written by Conway. He's the only furry who can keep his focus on typing for more than a paragraph without the word 'cock' somehow involved.

Not like it makes any difference, he's still a pervert like the rest of them.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

$298.00 for a round trip fare on Greyhound, over a days travel each way. It's not much better on Amtrak.

And I would want to go why? I get all the furporn I could want on the internet anyway.

Nope, sorry. Guess I'm just not furry enough after all.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

I live close enough to drive. I could probably show up and just snap a few pict....

Oh, wait! That's right their more touchy about media than the Nazi regime.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

From 1999 through 2001, I lived exactly one exit from FurtherConfusion. That I knew the freaks who were putting it on, and this factor, is the only reason I ever went to one.

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

cell phones with cameras.

Be a modern day James Bond. Find out how they plan to build the deadly Yiffsday machine with the Soviets before it's too late.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

cell phones with cameras.

Be a modern day James Bond. Find out how they plan to build the deadly Yiffsday machine with the Soviets before it's too late.

Now this sounds like an awesome Flash (tm) (r) (c) (ltd) (arc) (mp3) game.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

No thanks... I don't want to be caught up in an episode of "Get in the car!".

Besides, isn't activley going out and bugging them against CYD rules?

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

We have rules?

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

We have rules?

I'd like to request one: Don't post pictures of yourself, or of other members. I feel so vulnerable. :( :( :(

...you know you want me.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

Now you made me visit the site for shits and giggles, ZenZhu. Shame on you.

I called to reserve a room and they said that the hotel is full. Is it really?

If you are told this, please call back and ask again. If you are still told that it is full, get the name of the person you are speaking to and note the date and time, and email (or private-message) that information to the chairman. He'll take care of it.

OMIGAWD! FURSECUTION! They'll not accept my money because I'm a freeeeeeeeeeak!

Stoneth · Vociferator Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 545

cell phones with cameras.

Be a modern day James Bond. Find out how they plan to build the deadly Yiffsday machine with the Soviets before it's too late.

Q: James, your mission is to infiltrate Further Confussion taking place this year in San Jose, CA. Here is your specially issued fursuit. You will be going as an alliga...
Bond: Hold on a second. A furry convention? Isn't that a place for thirty-five-year-old virgin men who dress up as cats and fantasize over large-breasted, dick-nippled anthropomorphic foxes? Why would Her Majesty's Secret Service want to send me to one of those God-forsaken yet relatively harmless freak gatherings?
Q: "Relatively harmless"? James, have you gone daft?!! We here have reason to believe that these furries are in cahoots with the Soviets and that the convention is a front for the construction of a new type of weapon which has been codenamed the "Yiffsday Device".
Bond: Ooookaaay...
Q: Now then, back to gadgets. Here is a Zippo which conceals a digital camera. Be sure to take lots and lots of pictures and video of people looking and and acting completely idiotic.
Bond: Should I take pictures of the "Yiffsday Device" too?
Q: If you have time. Here is a Pigma Micron pen which fires tranquilizer darts.
Bond: Nice.
Q: A hamster plushie which explodes when tossed.
Bond: Interesting.
Q: And finally this tube of KY Jelly.
Bond: Why in God's name would I need this?
Q: It's best not to ask such questions, James.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

Excellent!

Te line with the soviets would make a good site quote.

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

I hope you mean my Soviet line because then I will be FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET and my dream will come true!

Stoneth · Vociferator Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 545

I hope you mean my Soviet line because then I will be FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET and my dream will come true!

Well I did quote you in that last post. Oh look! I'm quoting you again.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

I hope you mean my Soviet line because then I will be FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET and my dream will come true!

Well I did quote you in that last post. Oh look! I'm quoting you again.

I am quoting both of you... and I'm starting to detest your avatar.

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 660

We have rules?

I'd like to request one: Don't post pictures of yourself.

But I am a beautiful beautiful snowflake!

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

But I am a beautiful beautiful snowflake!

Whatever you say, snowflake.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

<Q: A hamster plushie which explodes when tossed.

I'll be waiting for the scene where some furry spots the plushie left unattended, and spirits it away to his room for a little private time.

Then the hotel staff and fire department are running upstairs to find the hotel room charred, the door thrown across the hall, and some furry with his dick blown off.