Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 658

Furry Exodus is a peaceful movement to seperate a section of the United States from the United States to form a new democratic republic.

THE PROBLEM

Being a fur can prevent you from going to a university or having a federal job.

Antifur-motivated hate crimes, unheard of 10 years ago, are on the rise.

WHy A NEW NATION?

Look at the civil rights movement in the United States. Begun decades ago, there are still rights which need to be won for women and those not of 'White' heritage. Had the first civil rights demonstrators decided to form a new country instead, their struggle would have been over a generation ago, and their children would be profiting now from their hard work.

...and more besides.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

Hard to say. There are furries out there who would whole-heartedly support this idea, but the majority are semi-sane. I'm going to say no.

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

You've gotta be shitting me. Note to self: Start commiting hate crimes against furries.

Being a fur can prevent you from going to a university or having a federal job.

Only if you're trying to get into the military. Well, unless being a furry makes you retarded...

I say: Separate but equal. But some more equal than others. :wink:

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

What a wonderful idea! Here, let me write up a Bill of Rights.

AMENDMENT I

The gov'ment shall make no law respecting establishment or exercising of any religion/cult/sect/etc be it one that's been practiced for thousands of years by millions of people or one that was made up by a fifteen year-old after playing too much World of Warcraft. Nor prohibiting free speech or press. You could be passing out cub art in a street corner in the buff. We won't care.

AMENDMENT II

The people shall have the right to bear arms and the right to arm bears. Bears however may not drive. How can that be?

AMENDMENT III

No one will be descrimination on basis of race, age, gender, creed, sexual orientation, or species. And by "species" we mean the one you really are on the inside, not your icky hyooman side. Nor will anyone be discriminated because they are a furry/scalie/featherie/whatever. In addition, all IDs and legal documentation can have your furname, fursona portrait and stats as a legal form of identification.

AMENDMENT IV

There will be no laws regarding infidelity nor the sanctity of marraige. Individuals can be "mated" to anyone and any number of people. In fact, we encourage polygamy and multiple partners. Nor will there be any laws on zoophilia. Yiff macht frei.

AMENDMENT V

Um... we like the Fifth Amendment from the U.S. Bill of Rights so much that we're just going to use that one. See U.S. Bill of Rights, Fifth Amendment.

AMENDMENT VI

There will be no laws regarding censorship of any kind. If it offends you, don't look at it.

AMENDMENT VII

Art is the highest and most revered form of self-expression. Therefore, if someone is caught copying the art of someone else, the copier may be lawsuited to the fullest extent of the law.

AMENDMENT VIII

Age of consent? What does that mean?

AMENDMENT IX

Fursecution is bad. Therefore, nothing bad about furries may be said unless you're 2. He's funny. If someone does say something bad about furries, they are probably from Something Awful ... which is bad.

AMENDMENT X

If someone asks you to engage in yiff with them and you refuse, that person may complain to the nearest governing official. Now get in there and get swishy!

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

The kid's smart enough to grasp the basic principles of how things work and damaged enough to furryize them. The full treatise is so full of well thought out stupid ideas - I can't imagine someone who wasn't serious thinking all this up. If this is a joke, well... who went through all the effort to tell it?

Far right and bottom - now he's just weird. Weird and rabidly anti-open source.

By the way, Kadius, sleep well knowing there are furries stationed in Iraq right now, protecting our freedom (ha!) and dreaming about sex with young foxbois.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

THE PROBLEM

Being a fur can prevent you from going to a university or having a federal job.

uuuhhmmm.... *looks at his fed contractor badge and notes all the furs he knows that work in various .gov agencies* K. Someone needs to get their facts right.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

I'm guessing he means the furry who ran for governor and lost.

creature · Vociferator Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 520

Then he's a moron who needs to study things before he attempts to do anything about them.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

It's not being a fur, it's being an idiot that people refuse you a job for.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

THE PROBLEM

Being a fur can prevent you from going to a university or having a federal job.

I'm guessing he means the furry who ran for governor and lost.

Trista · Prattler Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 156

I dunno, what gets me is the part about hatecrimes. Do I have the st00pid media to blame for never bringing that to light?

Yes, I know about Sibe because it's hard not to :roll:, but I can't call that a hate crime. :P

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

By the way, Kadius, sleep well knowing there are furries stationed in Iraq right now, protecting our freedom (ha!) and dreaming about sex with young foxbois.

I try not to think about it too much. "Smith's a furry! Quick, shoot before he rapes your kid or dog!"

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

Furries and politics do not mix. For example, one of the most vile men in American politics...

.. had a thing for cocker spaniels.

Kitsune Kiyoshi · Qualificator Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 26

Furries and politics do not mix. For example, one of the most vile men in American politics...

.. had a thing for cocker spaniels.

Shut up you little bastard or I'll feed you to the Chinese!

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

WATCH OUT! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL FURSECUTE ON YOU.

ME AND MY GRYFFIN SOUL MATE WERE BANGIN IN OUR APARTMENT, LIVIN THE QUIET LIFE
WHEN ONE DAY
FOR NO REASON
MY GAY LOVER AND UH, PETS WERE KILLED IN COLD BLOOD!
AND I WAS WOUNDED, UNABLE TO HELP THEM!
WHY THIS?????? WHY US??????? WHY???????
I WON'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!! I CAN'T!!!
I'LL GET EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!!!

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

Being a fur can prevent you from going to a university or having a federal job.

Antifur-motivated hate crimes, unheard of 10 years ago, are on the rise.

I don't believe that furries qualify as a suspect class under equal protection.

Kitsune Kiyoshi · Qualificator Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 26

FACT: If you play D&D, you can't join the Israeli army.

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

If I didn't know better I'd really have a hard time believing this is real.

Over the past three decades, attempts to have the furry community recognized as a normal part of society have proven futile.

So...let me get this straight.. as early as 1975 there were a very very small handful of Sci-fi geeks and vootie contributors that were (already part of normal society, no matter how weird) desperatly trying to be recognized as a normal part of society?

..And what furry "hate crimes" have there been starting as early as 1995 when even LESS people knew about furry fandom than do now !?

When and what exactly caused this guy's thought processes to go so far off the goddamn track?!

There are many ways to form a nation -- but secession is the only viable choice.

...

Building a rocket ship and terraforming the Moon or Mars? What the fuck have you been smoking?

Haha, funny - that exactly what I want to ask this guy.

The only practical way to create a new nation in this era is to secced from an already extant nation.

...It didn't work for the ENTIRE SOUTH when they wanted to do it... it didn't work for those Montana Freemen.... What the fuck makes this guy think a group of socially and sexual dysfunctional computer geeks can pull it off? The United States isn't giving up any North American territory. Ever. Vote the nuttiest administration into office you can think of - it still won't happen. There is no legal avenue for it to happen, and even for an illegal attempt the logistics arn't there. Its not possible.

All the furries on the entire planet would barely comprise a small suburb. And yet they are talking about creating an entire enclave? Who are they going to try and displace once they choose thier spot?

I got advice for these guys - start stockpiling banned assault rifles and munitions now.. You'll need to be ready for when those flame throwing tanks roll in .. ! lol

all the stuff on all the pages is forgivable fringe insanity - this part here deviates from the rest pretty badly... >

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

If this happens, I'm enlisting. I want to see them try to huggle-pounce a mortar shell.

Now, can we start a pool on how old he is? I call 14.

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

calling 15

FitALL · Qualificator Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 15

I dunno, what gets me is the part about hatecrimes. Do I have the st00pid media to blame for never bringing that to light?

Yes, remember the Daily Show episode which featured RT Rabbit? was a year or two ago. He was telling them about how when he walks around NYC in his rabbit costume people have hassled him and even set his tail on fire.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I dunno, what gets me is the part about hatecrimes. Do I have the st00pid media to blame for never bringing that to light?

Yes, remember the Daily Show episode which featured RT Rabbit? was a year or two ago. He was telling them about how when he walks around NYC in his rabbit costume people have hassled him and even set his tail on fire.

I don't know why, but there's a part of me that can justify hassling a six-foot talking bunny with a Hitler mustache.

I believe he mentioned that one time he was out of costume and someone threw something at him as well.

CrazyBomber · Prattler Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 137

If this happens, I'm enlisting. I want to see them try to huggle-pounce a mortar shell.

I'm thinking to do the same, but I have a question:
The US Army accepts in his ranks foreigners and mercenaries?

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

It appears we've been had...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/beoweasel/37647.html

Score one for poorly executed anti-christian furry humor. Hyuk hyuk.

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

I dunno, what gets me is the part about hatecrimes. Do I have the st00pid media to blame for never bringing that to light?

Yes, remember the Daily Show episode which featured RT Rabbit? was a year or two ago. He was telling them about how when he walks around NYC in his rabbit costume people have hassled him and even set his tail on fire.

I don't know why, but there's a part of me that can justify hassling a six-foot talking bunny with a Hitler mustache.

I believe he mentioned that one time he was out of costume and someone threw something at him as well.

Yeah but I doubt it had anything to do with furry. I cant imagine walking around in NYC in a mascot costume of any kind. The denser the population of an area the more likely it is youre going to run across someone who'd think itd be funny to fuck with you cause youre in a costume. Hell, that would happened anywhere.

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

http://www.livejournal.com/users/beoweasel/37647.html

Aww, so he didn't even make up those stupid ideas. But as I said, it's his stupid effort. Who's laughing now?

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

I was laughing, especially at Stoney's suggested constitution. IS that so wrong?

Iconoclastic · Vociferator Joined: 08 Mar 2005 Posts: 338

It's believable because it's been said before in perfect seriousness by both weres and furries.

Barry Scott · Prattler Joined: 09 May 2005 Posts: 152

FACT: If you play D&D, you can't join the Israeli army.

For religious reasons or the fact any D&D player would never pass the physical exam?

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

It's believable because it's been said before in perfect seriousness by both weres and furries.

Oh it has. And the funniest part is that furry fandom is rapidly approaching this horizon where ... I think it will become extremely difficult to spoof furry fandom in any fashion.

I mean we are talking about a fandom that has actually created something like the "It's @ Fur Thing" in volume

Furry fandom: Lifestyle? Hobby? Cult? Soon to be political movement? All this and more, apperently.... if things keep going at thier current rate.

Im waiting for some furry commune out in the desert to wind up stabbing some pregnant woman to death...or be holed up in some urban fortress in the ghetto for a showdown with the state police.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

See Mouse I don't think that will be the case. Although furries are indeed dogmatic, naive and downright socially inept enough to try what those other groups have they lack balls (Oh dear God, did I just quote '2').

The Furry Liberation Army or whatnot might indeed have guns and ninja swords via ebay, but they don't have the courage to do anything but brandish them in front of a webcam.

As for spoofing the fandom... Give me time. :wink:

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I highly doubt that even the most militant and charismatic furries are prepared to create a new nation/stronghold and defend it to the death because they believe that their rights to walk the streets in tails and ears and bugger a raccoon plushie are being violated.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

Indeed, although if furry porn was ever illegalized they might whine very loudly, perhaps high pitched enough to break glass. And I'd have to kill someone.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

Furry fandom: Lifestyle? Hobby? Cult? Soon to be political movement? All this and more, apperently.... if things keep going at thier current rate.

Im waiting for some furry commune out in the desert to wind up stabbing some pregnant woman to death...or be holed up in some urban fortress in the ghetto for a showdown with the state police.

I was kind of waiting for that too, but come to think of it the hardcore furries rarely put much energy or focus into something other than acquiring yet more furry porn. So I think the world is safe from murder sprees by furry Manson-inspired "families" simply because they're can't be bothered to follow through; they'd rather beat off to pics of Chester Ringtail.

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

Furry fandom: Lifestyle? Hobby? Cult? Soon to be political movement? All this and more, apperently.... if things keep going at thier current rate.

Im waiting for some furry commune out in the desert to wind up stabbing some pregnant woman to death...or be holed up in some urban fortress in the ghetto for a showdown with the state police.

I was kind of waiting for that too, but come to think of it the hardcore furries rarely put much energy or focus into something other than acquiring yet more furry porn. So I think the world is safe from murder sprees by furry Manson-inspired "families" simply because they're can't be bothered to follow through; they'd rather beat off to pics of Chester Ringtail.

Oh yeah , definatly.. but in the distant crowded dystopian future .. who knows?! ....or..yeah, itll just be the same old shit 50 years from now :)

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

Guys, you're taking this thing almost as seriously as it's author. STOP BLATHERING AND ENJOY THE JOKE (like these dudes).

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

that may be my favorite journal entry ever

CrazyBomber · Prattler Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 137

By the way, Kadius, sleep well knowing there are furries stationed in Iraq right now, protecting our freedom (ha!) and dreaming about sex with young foxbois.

I'm not so sure about it, RailFoxen.
For example, this one was always thinking about her girlfriend while he was stationed on Iraq.

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

I've come to understand this guy's served there, and assuming you can believe anything he says, he's likely there now. And if you know the guy... you'll know he sees Sly Cooper as more than a game (the raccoon isn't wearing pants so hawt). And that's just the tip of the iceberg, baby.

Just an example of how far you can go if you can manage to keep your perversions a secret from your employer.

Heroiini · Prattler Joined: 07 May 2005 Posts: 135

Just an example of how far you can go if you can manage to keep your perversions a secret from your employer.

Isn't that what we want them to do? Keeping their perversions to themselves and not showing that shit on anybodys face screaming about fursecution. Tough I imagine since you know about it then your face must have been violated at some point.

This is why I can't razz on Micah even when some of her work really assaults my sanity. She keeps her stuff in her own little corner of the web and dosen't go batshit insane all over the web or cons. Doesn't mean that I can't make fun of her tough... Heil Shizen *NYUK NYUK*

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

Isn't that what we want them to do? Keeping their perversions to themselves and not showing that shit on anybodys face screaming about fursecution. Tough I imagine since you know about it then your face must have been violated at some point.

This is why I can't razz on Micah even when some of her work really assaults my sanity. She keeps her stuff in her own little corner of the web and dosen't go batshit insane all over the web or cons. Doesn't mean that I can't make fun of her tough... Heil Shizen *NYUK NYUK*

That's all anybody is asking for, isn't it? If your thing is clown porn, groovy, smashing. Watch all the clown porn you like, discuss it amongst your fellow clown porn afficianados, I really don't care. Just leave the clown porn at home and don't go waving it in my face. If someone asks, by all means give them the full clown porn treatment, but don't just assume everyone is going to be cool with it, or claim that they're somehow obligated to embrace your clown porn hobby.

Heroiini · Prattler Joined: 07 May 2005 Posts: 135

That's all anybody is asking for, isn't it? clown porn, groovy, smashing. Watch all the clown porn you like, discuss it amongst your fellow clown porn afficianados. Just leave the clown porn at my face. give them the full clown porn treatment, embrace your clown porn hobby.

Well, since you asked so nicely. :P *NSFW*

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

That's all anybody is asking for, isn't it? clown porn, groovy, smashing. Watch all the clown porn you like, discuss it amongst your fellow clown porn afficianados. Just leave the clown porn at my face. give them the full clown porn treatment, embrace your clown porn hobby.

Well, since you asked so nicely. :P *NSFW*

Wait, what? That...that's not the order I typed those words in! :oops: You're not supposed to tamper with people's quotes! It's like a rule or something.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

That's the order I typed those words in! :oops: You're supposed to tamper with people's quotes! It's like a rule or something.

That it is, Son Goku.

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

That it is, Son Goku.

Wow. As many places as I use it, I think you are the first person to actually notice that my user name is a mythological reference.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

i thought it was the one from jackie chan adventures

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

i thought it was the one from jackie chan adventures

*Beats Dr. Mojo over the head with an extending red pole*

I suppose the next thing you'll say is that Dragonball is a completely original idea. Look up and read "Journey to the West" sometime you fish-fondling fruitcake!

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

i've been asterisk'd :(

Octan · Coadjutor Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 77

That's all anybody is asking for, isn't it? clown porn, groovy, smashing. Watch all the clown porn you like, discuss it amongst your fellow clown porn afficianados. Just leave the clown porn at my face. give them the full clown porn treatment, embrace your clown porn hobby.

Well, since you asked so nicely. :P *NSFW*

Wait, what? That...that's not the order I typed those words in! :oops: You're not supposed to tamper with people's quotes! It's like a rule or something.

Why wear pants? Creepy pants all the time get some! Maybe parachute, maybe clown care. Some ants toot! -- Clanky.

Guido · Rasophore Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 68

who are you and what are you doing in this thread

DracoXII · Qualificator Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 16

Traits that will exclude a nation from our search:

* A high population. We expect 25 thousand furs and otherkin to join within the first year of the Exodus; we must be able to control the local government within that time to ensure any 'stragglers' are able to join without problem.

I know there are allot of Furres out there but is there actually 25,000 of them?
Do they expect all the ones who are actually old enough to live on there own and have the funds to move across and to this new paradise for furres to come? are there enough Furres to realy found a new nation no matter how small, overwhealing the local populus as this site declares?
I'd like to see them try, you could get news reports featuring all these fur-suiters walking a long dusty road carrying all thier belongings on thier backs like those famine exoduses you see in arid regions of africa, think of it.. 25,000 furres starving in a desert.

Barry Scott · Prattler Joined: 09 May 2005 Posts: 152

Yes, thank you Dr West for bringing this theard back to life! :p

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

That's It! I'm going down to Marfa's ville Texas or area51,wait for one of those grey buttmunches to leave their ship,Commit a lil' space piracy(i.e.,hijack the lil' big head bugger's ship),and bog off this sad loopy planet. :roll: ..that not withstanding,I'll just have to pretend that this NEVER happened......AUUUUUGH! :evil: $#@^$#^$^%$! "PHURRIES!!!!

The Flying Fox · Coadjutor Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 93

I wonder by what names governing positions would be called by in such a civilisation...? President =/= Supreme High Lord Admiral Yiffster? General Secretary =/= Supreme High Lord Admiral Yiffster's Senior Back Skritcher? And what about the poor peasantry? 'Paw-n?' I shudder at the thought.

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 415

Nah, the peasants will still be 'pee-ons.'

TheBobSays · Venter Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 236

That'd require organization and such. Perhaps you'll have the military types going for it, but most of the government would be the same sort of passive-aggressive backstabbing drama.

Furthermore, the country would depend on an outside source for communication, namely LiveJournal. Fortunately, espionage on this fledgling government would consist of friending them, and waiting for them to friend back.

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

Uhhhh,Compy, :shock: Reel it in son. :shock: