Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 634

A discussion on Eat All Furries about a bunch of furries trying to eventually make a movie (http://www.wolfmovie.com) about... what else... wolves.... led me to speculate that you couldn't get much more unoriginal if you used a flowchart.

Which led to this - http://img10.imageshack.us/my.php?loc=img10&image=wolfplot.jpg

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 685

It's missing "Lafarga Reply", but it seems pretty accurate. I think what you need to note is that the wolf is always, always, always wise. Only retarded canids like Hyenas may be 'misunderstood' to the point of it being theior entire existance.

Tailgunner · Prattler Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 174

Maybe furries should be forced to watch that euro movie "Dog Soldiers".

It has everything they could possible want! Wolves. Transformation. Machine guns. Were's getting machine gunned. :}

creature · Prattler Joined: 06 Nov 2003 Posts: 145

Sad part is you could replace wolf with fox, otter, and probably three or four different animals and it would be valid.

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 634

Very true.. I had thought about that, but didn't want to invest that much time in it at work. Maybe sometime I'll to a more thorough breakdown.

Hmm.. maybe instead of "carefree" I should have put TRICKSTER SPIRIT.. muahahahahahahahahah!

Anonymous · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 767

Maybe furries should be forced to watch that euro movie "Dog Soldiers".

It has everything they could possible want! Wolves. Transformation. Machine guns. Were's getting machine gunned. :}

Not euro. British. As in GREAT BRITAIN.

I dunno, Americans forgetting their elders and betters. Grumble grumble. Lost glories of empire. grumble grumble.

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 685

Not euro. British. As in GREAT BRITAIN.

I dunno, Americans forgetting their elders and betters. Grumble grumble. Lost glories of empire. grumble grumble.

That's what happens when you fops won't bow down to our demands. Just wait; eventually Australia will stop talking to you lot as well. 8)

The_Censorship_Nazi · Rasophore Joined: 07 May 2004 Posts: 59

*Both the skunk guy and the Nazi get David a copy of "The March of Folly."*

Here. Might help explain why Britain lost America...and, to be fair, it also goes into why America lost in Vietnam, and how the folly of the Renaissance Popes lead to the Protestant Movement.

And now for the random saying of the day:

The death of King Edward VI lead to World War I!

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 634

I was checking out the discussion on DeviantArt related to how TEH JANUS 1Z CL3@RL1E NOT TEH BALTO and found a couple of LOL-worthy things in there.

WOLVES MUST BE DRAWN WITH RESPECT, YOU NAZI!

Yup, but the fact that every African animal drawn is now equated to the Lion King doesn't make it any less annoyihng. Honestly, if anyone uses this to point out similarities they'll have a tough time, and it will only emphasize their close-mindedness, so I'm not too worried. ^_^

Close-mindedness...... clearly, suggesting that their clean and competent, but clearly vanilla and unimpressive character designs look very much like Balto is comparable to gay bashing.

Notice also how this Krishva dares to suggest that they put some consideration into making their designs stand out from the cookie-cutter style that most Western animation is done in these days.... and how the furries refuse to step outside of their little world where TEH WOLVZ MUST BE DRAWDED WIF R'SPECT! and see that, with their current plan, this thing, if it ever came to fruition (the term "fat chance" comes to mind), is destined for obscurity like a monkey-driven rocket car barreling along the alkali flats of Springfield. They insist that the idea that this just looks like your typical direct-to-video cannon fodder that rips off Balto to an outsider is an errant and <snerk> close-minded view. Of course, considerations such as marketability, consumer perception, and such are not within the realm of furry thought. It's all about the wolf respect, baby. If it's a labor of love, it's no big deal. But if they want folks to take them seriously as a commercial venture, they're not really pushing to stand out from all of the other DTV releases out there like Balto 2, Nimh 2, Land Before Time 1,000, etc.

Honestly, I find wolves to be cliche, anyway... like those dime-a-dozen Andrew Wyland dolphin paintings or a unicorn running across a computer grid on a Trapper notebook.

Sibirskaya · Recusant Joined: 05 Jun 2004 Posts: 1

Wolves were the devil incarnate; plotting and loping through
the shadows of night to prey upon the righteous. They were feared,
hated and destroyed on sight if possible.

This thing sounds even worse than I actually first thought - I should've seen The Eternal Furry Quest for Unconditional Social Acceptance coming miles away.

So, it looks like there's going to be a merry old Wolves vs. Fursecutors setting, which will probably end in peaceful co-existence where the humans learn valuable life lessons from the wise wolves. No more fursecution! Hooray!

More predictions:
There will be a really surly wolf who calls all humans something to the effect of "hairless ape" a lot. No, actually there's going to be a whole bunch of them, and they're going to be all dark and badass.
A cub will get lost (ooh, possibly injured as well!) and end up being taken care of by a kind human who is mysteriously in touch with all nature. Doubts about anti-human propaganda ensue.
One of the humans is going to have a gun. At least one of the wolves is going to get its hide peppered with bullets. This will be followed by the death scene of Bambi's mother and strong discontent for humans.

Also, I like how the "production diary" resembles a generic LiveJournal with all the off-topic ranting and the "I saw The Hulk today, it was OK" posts.

Kadius · Venter Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 238

Furries and wolves

Go together like

Peanut butter and

OCTOPUS TEETH.

ZenZhu · Vociferator Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 634

A cub will get lost (ooh, possibly injured as well!) and end up being taken care of by a kind human who is mysteriously in touch with all nature. Doubts about anti-human propaganda ensue.

Addendum: The human will have sandy blonde hair tied back in a ponytail.... assuming he's not made to be some Native American tucked away in a cabin in the woods. Actually, he probably will be Native American, as all furries know no white man could ever be as in touch with nature as TEH NATCHUR3 L0V1NG 1NJUN5!!!! Bonus points if he looks like a ripoff of Apache Chief

One of the humans is going to have a gun.

Are you kiddin'? Them's hy00mans! They all have guns!

Hence the wolves will enlist the aid of Jack Salem to call down TEH FURR13 VENGEANCE!

Also, I like how the "production diary" resembles a generic LiveJournal with all the off-topic ranting and the "I saw The Hulk today, it was OK" posts.

Well, of course that's production work. How else are they going to get all of their deep and original ideas if they don't go see movies to steal them from?

Computolio · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 399

You know, this thing looks so goddamn awful that it might just make some hideous quantum plot device burrow straight into the real world from a Star Trek writer's brain and actually CAUSE THIS MOVIE TO BE MADE.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 515

I've already had a bad enough day concerning furries and now you show me this...

I feel a Robert Urich "bangeroo" coming on. Where's my Excedrin?

Shmorky · Prattler Joined: 22 Nov 2003 Posts: 200

I don't think they'll be able to finish it what with being too distracted and having to furiously masturbate after drawing each frame.

Shmeckopolis · Prattler Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 136

If you think this is bad, just wait for the endless crap we'll hear from these douche-bag furries about that "Two Brothers" movie or whatever it's called. The one about the two inseperable tiger brothers who go on some magical journey and .

M0us3_Zero · Venter Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 250

I've seen ads for that movie.

Trust me, Gollum Aye Aye SO wanted to tell them to STFU. 1 second into the ad.

My gaydar was on red-alert myself. I just hope this whole "Phurraie Movie" Idea tanks. HARD.

Wayd Wolf · Vociferator Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 515

I've seen ads for that movie.

Trust me, Gollum Aye Aye SO wanted to tell them to STFU. 1 second into the ad.

My gaydar was on red-alert myself. I just hope this whole "Phurraie Movie" Idea tanks. HARD.

You know, when I went dark with my writing and turned the characters from four-legged comic props to two-legged morality play props, I at least saw it in my head as if it was a movie and thus, made sure it worked in my minds' eye as someone else might see it.

Furries? Crap, man. We know this will be so tightly inbound to furries that it will be totally unwatchable by anyone but furries and only the smallest cadre that fit the viewpoint and...

Oh good. Critics emerge and we get another flame war of self-righteous supporters versus the merely honest but not backing down versus the agent provocateurs.

I can hardly wait. At least it can't inflict too much more mental or emotional or spiritual abuse than Silkwood, A Room With A View, or Bulworth.

The New Meat · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 397

Can the wolf have three cocks? Cause that would be HOT.

M0us3_Zero · Venter Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 250

*sigh*

If only my army of sailor suit clad ninjas would just take out every person working on this project...

before we get the multi-donged aberrations.

But they're too busy fighting lifestyler pirates.

Yeah, wouldn't it be soooo cool to have fursuit wearers in S&M gear walking around in it?

*sees twenty sniper lazers fix on my position*

EEP!

Paul · Venter Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 203

If only my army of sailor suit clad ninjas would just take out every person working on this project...

before we get the multi-donged aberrations.

It's safe to assume the people working on this film are themselves doing plenty of dirty pics with the characters inbetween the official, serious, wolf-spiritual drawings. I mean, that's what happens on pretty much any animated project: fatigue sets in, and the animators draw naughty pics for fun. Of course, this being a furry project, they'll probably draw naughty pics for fun and masturbation.

Hey, now that's a marketing slogan: "WOLF the movie! Fun and masturbation!"

Not Really Funny · Recusant Joined: 28 Aug 2004 Posts: 13

Hahaha, these guys are absolute morons. I talked to one of them once (who wants to touch me first?), and I swear, the reply was something along this:

"Blah blah blah NOT BALTO blah blah blah pessimist blah blah blah Balto sucks."

Which translates to: "I don't have an original style, but I'm going to deny it as long as I can and insult the subject I mimic!"

Edit -- The link that was posted earlier (http://www.deviantart.com/view/6844726/) contains the brief exchange I mentioned. If you want to see two paragraphs of idiocy from one of the "animators," scroll down til you see TheAngryGecko (yours truly), and look at the replies.

comicartist42 · Recusant Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 9

I dunno if this has been brought up, but if you thought "Wolf" was bad, you need to see the madness these folks are cooking up:

http://www.lionkingdomain.com/tsavo/

...Or maybe you don't. It's the same darn shtick, only with LIONS instead of wolves. Oh, yeah... and there's already been a movie made about their story. It was called "The Ghost and the Darkness". Scariest movie ever. And these people want to make the lions into the GOOD GUYS. *slaps forehead*

Rankin · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 685

http://www.lionkingdomain.com/tsavo/

phpBB : Critical Error

Could not connect to the database

It's not CYD, but an incredible simulation.

comicartist42 · Recusant Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 9

Hmm... perhaps they finally gave up! (I doubt it, but hey, I can dream, can't I?)