Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Rural Pimp · Rasophore Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 70

Today I went to a comic book store to check out the new books of production art from Revenge of the Sith. I also happened to take some good hard look at the local fandom dregs, engaged in what they perceive as heterosexual romance.

As soon as I entered the store I nearly stumbled over some pygmy corset-goth with her tits hanging out all over the place and her pussywhipped trenchcoat-nerd boyfriend. OK, the tits were nice, but her attire removed all the amount of attraction value they might have provided. The guy was just some average wuss, I paid no further attention to them.

Over by the role-playing games, some snotty ponytailed asshole in mega-baggy camo pants and Gestapo-style black leather trenchcoat was stocking up on the latest vampire shit courtesy of White Wolf, accompanied by a black denim-clad girlfiend sporting the ubiquitous gut flab.

I don´t know what, either the female fashions of today are too tight, or the girls just keep getting more out of shape all the time. If you came down to the local pub were I usually hang out you would witness an endless parade of savage beerbelly cave-babes. Okay, most of them would probably look good without the makeup and the too tight-fitting clothes, but their attitude…

Around the next corner I found the most revolting specimen of them all. My GODH!

Fat? Check. Long, greasy hair? Check. Glasses? Check. Trenchcoat? Check. Backpack? Check. Bad body odor? Check. Nondescript girlfriend (also fat)? Check. This disgraceful creature was rummaging through bookshelves full of manga books like an arrogant greedy troll. He pointed at a cover picture with some scantily-clad weird girl-thingy and said “wtf” to his girlfriend. “What did you say??” said the girl. “wtf” he replied. Note: He did not say “What the fuck?” he specifically said “wtf”. He then picked up a volume of Argle Werewolf Bargle Blorf or something like that, and immediately started bitching to his girlfriend about the comic book store not yet having received the latest issues of some obscure Japanese crap. He made it very clear, in the snooty pseudo-upperclass form of speech that for an unknown reason afflicts far too many in nerddom, that he had complained to them about this issue before and that he was very disappointed with them. He tugged his girlfriend’s jacket arm, much like a petulant child pestering his mother, and whined that she should help him complain about the matter to the management yet another time…

I guess that you too have met these kinds of people far too many times. I know that I have. I have seen nerd relationships up close (but thankfully not personal). I have witnessed abuse in nerd relationships. I am glad that I did grow and left nerddom. I am glad that I am an adult. A silly adult, but yeah, an adult.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

Huh. 'Round here we don't have that bad of a crowd. When I visit the local RP/comic store, I usually have to only deal with the hordes of 13 year olds that think they can pwn being a DM.

I love confusing them. Yay Drow Necromancers. :X

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

I went to Walmart at midnight last night to pick up the first Star Wars Episode 3 toys. The fanboys kept asking who I was buying them for. Le sigh. No respect.

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

I went to Walmart at midnight last night to pick up the first Star Wars Episode 3 toys. The fanboys kept asking who I was buying them for. Le sigh. No respect.

You went to Walmart? Shit, I don't have any respect for you either now.:)

BOO CORPORATE EVIL!

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

"Walmart is the Walmart of evil." - Jon Stewart

Sometime I hate going into my city's comicbook store, usually because I see the usual band of mutants there. All I want to do is go in, buy some comics, and escape without running into any lardbelly freaks or angsty goth crybabies.

What ever happened to the days of yore when comic fans looks like this:

See! Look how awesome that guy is! He's so suave and dapper! And he owns his own hi-fi unit. And look at his woman sitting on the chair. She's not a mutant goth at all. She looks very pretty in her dress. And she's looking at him and going, "Hey, hot stuff! I'll be seeing you in the bedroom later for sex!" And it'd be his bedroom and not some bunk-bed in his parent's basement. And he'd just smile and his teeth would give a little sparkle and make a noise like DING!.

*sigh* Times have changed.

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

You went to Walmart? Shit, I don't have any respect for you either now.:)
BOO CORPORATE EVIL!

Yeah I can't say I like myself much for shopping there either. But, we're too poor to stand on our morals and boycott Walmart. =) It may be evil, but if it comes down to ground beef for .99 a pound or 3.47 a pound, then Hail Satan. =)

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

You went to Walmart? Shit, I don't have any respect for you either now.:)
BOO CORPORATE EVIL!

Yeah I can't say I like myself much for shopping there either. But, we're too poor to stand on our morals and boycott Walmart. =) It may be evil, but if it comes down to ground beef for .99 a pound or 3.47 a pound, then Hail Satan. =)

Shop at Target ;)

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

target, k*mart and wal-mart are all the same fucking store

STOP BEING TAKEN IN

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

You went to Walmart? Shit, I don't have any respect for you either now.:)
BOO CORPORATE EVIL!

Yeah I can't say I like myself much for shopping there either. But, we're too poor to stand on our morals and boycott Walmart. =) It may be evil, but if it comes down to ground beef for .99 a pound or 3.47 a pound, then Hail Satan. =)

Shop at Target ;)

And pronounce it french, like "tar-je", always. :)

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

target, k*mart and wal-mart are all the same fucking store

STOP BEING TAKEN IN

I've heard K-Mart is getting bought out by... Sears, I think?

Sears + K-Mart = S-Mart?

If they end up making their slogan "Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.", I'm seriously going to have to go to work for them. In sporting goods, of course.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I like Target (well, liked since there's none here) mainly for the fact that they had ICEE.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

target, k*mart and wal-mart are all the same fucking store

STOP BEING TAKEN IN

I've heard K-Mart is getting bought out by... Sears, I think?

Sears + K-Mart = S-Mart?

If they end up making their slogan "Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.", I'm seriously going to have to go to work for them. In sporting goods, of course.

i just watched that movie last night ;(

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

Target- Overpriced faux coolness. Sure, it's the same crap at KMart, but it's in PASTELS!
KMart- Three words- Marth Stewart Living.
Walmart- Groceries, toys, and makeup that we can afford and still have money for rent and crack.

Er...not the crack. It's for a friend. Really...

Anyway, Back on the subject,

Goofy Wrote-

What ever happened to the days of yore when comic fans looks like this:

I dunno, I've never heard of comic fans EVER looking like that. At their best, they looked like Jimmy Olsen, and at their worst...well, probably like the mutant love-child of Robert Crumb and Sam Kinison.

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

monica, quotes work like this:

[quote="MonicaKitty"]hay this is monica talking hows it wit u[/quote]

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

YOU LEAVE MONICAKITTY ALONE YOU ASS OF A BABOON

:evil: :evil: :evil:

Dr. Mojo · Vociferator Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 399

!~-JUS SAYIN'-~!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MONICA'S TEXTUAL GRAPEFRUITS?!"

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MONICA'S TEXTUAL GRAPEFRUITS?!"

I question your citrus all the time, Skunkie. If you know what I mean... :wink:

Goofy · Vociferator Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 311

HEY GUYS HOW coluor="pretty looking red">DO I DO COLUORED FONTS???

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THREADS
Best yet is when your comic/gaming store gets overrun by people whose religions have changed due to too much D&D. 'Yeah, I saw The Craft, that was total whack, u don't need no fukkin candles for that!' But Wal-Mart is always filled with crazy people, Mormons, rednecks and lower-middle class hambeast mothers of six. Hell, where I grew up, Wal-Mart was the most entertaining place in town after nightfall but before it closed at 11PM. Run around disorganizing their stock and harassing the staff until they'd announce via store intercom that all employees should 'increase supervision of their departments', at which point we'd avoid the 'sales associates' by sneaking out through the Lawn & Garden doors. And why the hell do we hate Wal-Mart? Because they're cleaner, friendlier, and more competitive than the others? Little family stores can't do crap half as well as Wal-Mart - exactly zero people in this Godforsaken town even knew what the PSP was, not even the people at Wal-Mart, but they still had a pile of 30 of them on launch day while K-Mart was still scratching its ass trying to stock GBAs or get the newest gimmicky piece of Nintendo crap for the kiddies. This update was brought to you by Guiness.

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MONICA'S TEXTUAL GRAPEFRUITS?!"

LOL My textual grapefruits?

Er...

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

Now why don't DA, Micah, and Monica show us their grapefruits already!
*Geek geek!*

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

Now why don't DA, Micah, and Monica show us their grapefruits already!
*Geek geek!*

Well, here's me

Here's my grapefruit

While it's tart and juicy, I don't see the big deal. =)

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

Well this goes to Carnival Of Horrors too! =)

Well... I ... haveta ....turn my chair .. this way... now...

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

Now why don't DA, Micah, and Monica show us their grapefruits already!
*Geek geek!*

Well, here's me

Your husband is a reeeeaaaally lucky guy, and I think he probably knows it ;)

Here's my grapefruit

While it's tart and juicy, I don't see the big deal. =)

OH. MY. GO....D. *FWAP FWAP FWAP*

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

Well this goes to Carnival Of Horrors too! =)

Well... I ... haveta ....turn my chair .. this way... now...

I'd do the same, but... it's not like anyone would notice anyway :(

<--- has a tiny, boyishly-sized penis.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

Now why don't DA, Micah, and Monica show us their grapefruits already!
*Geek geek!*

AM I NOT A FEMALE ANYMORE?

oh wait im supposed to be a guy

Gargoyle · Vociferator Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 455

Now why don't DA, Micah, and Monica show us their grapefruits already!
*Geek geek!*

AM I NOT A FEMALE ANYMORE?

oh wait im supposed to be a guy

http://www.ramen-koshien.com/image/s_m_banrai.gif

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

Well this goes to Carnival Of Horrors too! =)

Well... I ... haveta ....turn my chair .. this way... now...

<click save> That's so COOL! But...I get the feeling there's some kinda subtle message to the picture, other than my willingness to serve tropical citrus fruits to friends. Weird. =)

Thanks for the...er..dubious compliments, Skunkie and Donny! Why do I have the feeling I should go boil myself? =D

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

Well this goes to Carnival Of Horrors too! =)

Well... I ... haveta ....turn my chair .. this way... now...

<click save> That's so COOL! But...I get the feeling there's some kinda subtle message to the picture, other than my willingness to serve tropical citrus fruits to friends. Weird. =)

Thanks for the...er..dubious compliments, Skunkie and Donny! Why do I have the feeling I should go boil myself? =D

I just wonder.. is that supposed to be your husband in the background...? :shock:

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

I think it's Eric Schwartz. <shudder> He has a tentacle, and what looks like THOR. <cry>

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

I think it's Eric Schwartz. <shudder> He has a tentacle, and what looks like THOR. <cry>

YOU'RE MARRIED TO ERIC SHWATS???

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

It is a tentacle and Teh Thor.. Tis just TDK ranting... for Monica is late from another slimey photoshoot!

doubtingwolf · Coadjutor Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 84

Waitaminnite... You mean tentacles are a Bad Thing?

Shit. Next I'll discover that body parts in multiples of 3 are unnatural.

*sniff* You guys ruin everything!

Griphonix · Prattler Joined: 02 Mar 2005 Posts: 165

Shit. Next I'll discover that body parts in multiples of 3 are unnatural.

*sniff* You guys ruin everything!

Obviously you missed that arnie movie, Total Recall.

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

It is a tentacle and Teh Thor.. Tis just TDK ranting... for Monica is late from another slimey photoshoot!

Eeeeooooooooo! Yucky! Thanks, Donny, that's nightmare material for a month, at least! =)