Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

21st Century Digital Boy · Venter Joined: 27 Dec 2003 Posts: 202

From here

Also, good lord I've been drounding in squirrels today: First I visit the University of California Davis campus where you can't swing a bike without hitting one of the roughly two billion resident fox squirrels, then I come home and bottle-feed a litter of baby gray squirrels at my wildlife rehab center (after helping bottle-feed a litter of 3-week-old feral kittens, ENVY ME), and now this. I think this makes up for just about every crappy day I've ever had.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

I love how he uses the squirrel to pimp his political message. He must be a furry. Poor little guy. He could be eating nuts and getting hit by a tractor trailer just like all his little buddies right now...

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

That site makes me question the sanity of the site owner. Too bad there's no red skwrls.

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

I love how he uses the squirrel to pimp his political message. He must be a furry. Poor little guy. He could be eating nuts and getting hit by a tractor trailer just like all his little buddies right now...

He? Dude, the site owner is a crazy old lady (often the case for this sort of thing). NOTHING TO DO WITH FURRY EITHER PUT THAT BONER AWAY

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

This site combines the two things I hate, right-wing politics and animals in costumes.

But squirrels are cute.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

After a few whacks of a hammer, she could get the Terri Schiavo look out of that squirrel...

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

She probably molests that squirrel.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

Squirrels are cute, but that site is creepy.

Being an International Superstar and The World's Most Photographed Squirrel, Sugar Bush loves to dress up, and has over 1,000 outfits with matching hats and accessories.

I find it highly unlikely that the squirrel dresses up in all those inane outfits by its own vocation. More likely the poor critter is scared stiff of Ms. Foxton and puts up with the abuse.

Iconoclastic · Vociferator Joined: 08 Mar 2005 Posts: 338

I find it highly unlikely that the squirrel dresses up in all those inane outfits by its own vocation. More likely the poor critter is scared stiff of Ms. Foxton and puts up with the abuse.

Or, the squirl is drugged. :(

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

Classic Internet Crazy Lady. Reminds me of the time crazy sweater lady appeared on Unscrewed. (And the squirrels are everywhere. They plot.)

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

I'm skeptical that you could get a squirrel to willingly dress up. In my experience, most animals - especially rodents - flip out if you try to even put a collar on them, let alone a complete set of sacerdotal robes. I'm speaking from dealings wit rats and chinchillas, but I'd expect a squirrel would be even more spastic.

But I guess this would all depend on how young Sugar Bush was when she took him in. I haven't seen anything on the site about whether he was hand-raised or not, and the only reference to his origins that I've seen is that this woman rescued him "from a tree." (???)

The only other plausible explanation would be that he suffered some sort of trauma back when he was a wild squirrel and he's kinda brain-adled as a result.

This is assuming, of course, that all those TV shows I saw as a kid that warn you never to touch wild animals because they yearn to be free were telling the truth. Does anyone here know anything about how easy it is to domesticate an adult squirrel? I wouldn't think they'd take to indoor life, but I'm no expert. Someone educate me.

21st Century Digital Boy · Venter Joined: 27 Dec 2003 Posts: 202

This is assuming, of course, that all those TV shows I saw as a kid that warn you never to touch wild animals because they yearn to be free were telling the truth. Does anyone here know anything about how easy it is to domesticate an adult squirrel? I wouldn't think they'd take to indoor life, but I'm no expert. Someone educate me.

With very, very few exceptions (opossums are really the only animal that springs to mind), NO non-brain-damaged adult wild animal would allow itself to be domesticated, let alone allow crazy old ladies to play patriotic dress-up on it. If she hand-raised it pretty much from the day it was born, then maybe, but even then, many wild animals begin to naturally fear humans after they reach a certain age.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

So Iconoclastic's suggestion that the squirrel is drugged seems most likely? Maybe Ms. Foxton feeds it valium. :(

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

Drugs would explain a lot, but something still seems wrong. That pic of Pope Squirrel looks wierd; He's sitting on his ass with his feet up in the air, a very unnatural position. Most animals get really panicky when they don't have their feet on something solid. I'm frankly baffled about how she got him to sit like that without falling right over.

Could it be that Sugar Bush is a reticulated, poseable piece of taxidermy? Or, more likely, a number of differently posed pieces of taxidermy?

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

Drugs would explain a lot, but something still seems wrong. That pic of Pope Squirrel looks wierd; He's sitting on his ass with his feet up in the air, a very unnatural position. Most animals get really panicky when they don't have their feet on something solid. I'm frankly baffled about how she got him to sit like that without falling right over.

Could it be that Sugar Bush is a reticulated, poseable piece of taxidermy? Or, more likely, a number of differently posed pieces of taxidermy?

One can hypnotise a rabbit by laying it on its back. It's the same with a few other such panick-y prey animals, like guinea pigs and the like.

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

One can hypnotise a rabbit by laying it on its back. It's the same with a few other such panick-y prey animals, like guinea pigs and the like.

A lot of small birds are like that.. i used to have parakeets and if you were holding them and they were freaking out too badly you could turn your hand so they would be basically laying on thier back.. they would instantly become really docile. you could open your hand and they would just lay there.

I've heard of people having squirrels for pets. But overall, Id imagine any mammal can be trained to put up with varying levels of this type of shit :) i think this woman's pet is just either fucked up mentally from birth or some accident and its just really docile or she has has spent so much time with the thing dressing it up in silly costumes - it doesnt care anymore. I kind of doubt its drugged or dead. That would certainly be a scandal if that were the case.

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

Poor Rokki... Ken will not be pleased.

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

that was horrifying

Iconoclastic · Vociferator Joined: 08 Mar 2005 Posts: 338

You've been taking tips from Micah, haven't you, Donny? :D

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

Looking at those photos, i think the squirril is dead. I've taken photos of my ferret and i can barely get him to face the camera for more than a half second, squirrils are even twitchier.

My guess she's got a Norman Bates thing going on and she killed the squirril to feast on it's brains with scrambled eggs and bacon, then stuffed the carcase with cotton and pipe cleaners, and talks to it/hugs it. I'm sure the neihborhood childres are terrified of her.

Gargoyle · Vociferator Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 455

Battle Hamster