Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Tailgunner · Vociferator Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 327

Link: http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/manifesto.html

An excerpt:

4. Nipples?

Speaking of adult games, where are they? Politicians bemoan the bloodthirsty horror of video games, but really the standards are almost Victorian when compared to R-rated Hollywood fare such as Sin City and Kill Bill and Cinemax's Voyeur Safari IV: Dildo Island. You get a little harsh language and some comic-booky sprays of gore, but that's about it. There is an "AO" (Adults Only) ESRB rating for games, but when is the last time you saw it?

We're not for speeding the moral degradation of the modern world, but imagine a Hollywood where only PG-13 movies could get made. Say goodbye to everything from Shindler's List to The Matrix.

Chances of that happening...

We've got one hyphenated word for you: Wal-Mart. The largest game seller in the world simply won't stock games with the "AO" rating. Period. So those games won't sell and developers won't make them. So until they invent new and varied and Wal-Martless ways to sell the games, we're stuck with the AO games found only in our fantasies.

ROFLMAO!

Funny, sad, and so true!

Ray Prower · Prattler Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 166

Is there even a need for an Adults Only rating? M seems to be doing just fine by itself. As for the nipples thing, It's bad enough that some parents had a hissy fit over the fact that some of the Gorgons/Nagas/Women weren't exactly FULLY CLOTHED in God of War (which is pretty dumb, considering the game was M rated.) There should be less focusing on whether games need to be more "adult oriented" and more on them actually being good.

The analogy sort of breaks down there, but the point is we shouldn't ever see a "save point" in a game again. Limited saves were invented for consoles that didn't have the memory to let you "quicksave" (where you can save at any time, any where, with one keystroke like on a PC). To keep that physical limitation and pretend it's a gameplay element is like Superman 64 claiming its programmers' inability to render any background scenery was "Kryptonite Fog."

There is not one single reason in the known universe for even one more game where the save point is ten motherfucking minutes away from the boss, forcing me to fight my way down the same hallway each of the 62 attempts it takes me to beat the guy (I'm looking at you, Metroid Prime).

I don't see what the big deal over savestates is, other than people want games to be painfully easy. And Prime wasn't even that hard.

Mastertran · Venter Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 275

Come on Sin City and Kill Bill worse than most games BULLSHIT!! I mean I'm a gamer and believe me when I say that the carnage in Kill Bill was nothing to the damage I did in Ninja Gaiden and God of War. And Sin City is nothing to the sheer horror of what I've done in all the Grand Theft Auto games (I think if you combine all the people I've killed in the PS2 GTA games it totals past the million mark) Not that I believe in censorship or any thing like it.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

American sensors are never quick to label something adult due to violence but if you have sex in it, watch out.

About 500 people with their heads exploding from shotgun blasts equals one exposed breast in the minds of America media sensors.

Sad really.

Sphenix · Qualificator Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Posts: 11

I think if you combine all the people I've killed in the PS2 GTA games it totals past the million mark

I wouldn't even be able to tally up the number of monsters, imperial pilots, zombies, nazis (and zombie nazis RTCW) that I've gunned down. Not that its had any adverse effect on me though... *twitch*

Fact remains though that when it comes to video games good judgement is whats needed. Obviously some people just aren't able to deal with violent media in a mature manner. I of course love my games, but I don't bring what I see/do in them to the real world. But umm...yeah, nevermind.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

People look for easy solutions. If a kid strolls into a school and kills 3 or 4 classmates, people are quick to point out, "It must have been (violent game/Marilyn Manson/violent movie)'s fault! We must do something!"

That Resident Evil quote was hilarious:
"Jill. (pause) Here's...a lockpick. (inhale) It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, could take it with you. (Repeat previous sentences in apathetic tone)

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

"What is it?"

"It's a weapon. It's very powerful... Especially against living things!"

also it's just some ammunition not a weapon at all.

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

That Resident Evil quote was hilarious:
"Jill. (pause) Here's...a lockpick. (inhale) It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, could take it with you. (Repeat previous sentences in apathetic tone)

SSSTAY ALERT

Barry Scott · Prattler Joined: 09 May 2005 Posts: 152

Painfully right about the good voice acting in games and original ideas that didn't sell. It really blackens my soul that nobody bought Grim Fandango and is further proof in my mind that 99.999% of the human race are fucking morons. That and the shit I get in my inbox.