Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

We have created our first UNIX toaster. I'm sure we'll make first contact any day now.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

Nerds everywhere are drooling.

Monkey King · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 459

What the FUCK does it need an ethernet port for? The last thing the world needs is hacker-vulnerable toasters.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

What the FUCK does it need an ethernet port for?

To download MP3s, it seems:

USB speakers are attached through the built-in USB hub on the keyboard to allow playing of MP3's while toasting occurs

Captious Tyro · Rasophore Joined: 06 Aug 2005 Posts: 51

They called me mad when I suggested that our incessant computerization subsequent networking would lead to a time when hackers could turn on your blender when your hand was inside it. (insert typical mad scientist laugh)

I shall now build a computerized blender and wait with my hand inside it in anticipation, I must make up for the loss of face caused by my prediction that the world will have ended by yesterday evening.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

Oh god this is hilarious. Think about it. Someone has turned a simple mechanical device into an over-complicated piece of metal used for like ten minutes a day. If you REALLY need music while toasting, isn't it less of a hassle to just, you know, BUY A RADIO?!

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

This is seriously the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

This is seriously the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Really? Then i'm assuming you haven't heard of this. http://www.cdr.cz/picture_/9518/small

Yes, that is a USB, windows compatible vibrator

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

This is seriously the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Really? Then i'm assuming you haven't heard of this. http://www.cdr.cz/picture_/9518/small

Yes, that is a USB, windows compatible vibrator

OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
That's the best ever.

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

Really? Then i'm assuming you haven't heard of this. http://www.cdr.cz/picture_/9518/small

Yes, that is a USB, windows compatible vibrator

WTF? Why? What could a windows compatible vibrator DO? The most logical thing would be to play porn movies while you use it but...that's not gonna happen. If anyone gives me an explanation for this, I'll love them for-evar.

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

Really? Then i'm assuming you haven't heard of this. http://www.cdr.cz/picture_/9518/small

Yes, that is a USB, windows compatible vibrator

WTF? Why? What could a windows compatible vibrator DO? The most logical thing would be to play porn movies while you use it but...that's not gonna happen. If anyone gives me an explanation for this, I'll love them for-evar.

Interested :wink:? No, supposedly it's so you can change the speed/rhythm with the ease of a keyboard since switches are you know, super complicated.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Really? Then i'm assuming you haven't heard of this. http://www.cdr.cz/picture_/9518/small

Yes, that is a USB, windows compatible vibrator

WTF? Why? What could a windows compatible vibrator DO? The most logical thing would be to play porn movies while you use it but...that's not gonna happen. If anyone gives me an explanation for this, I'll love them for-evar.

Interested :wink:? No, supposedly it's so you can change the speed/rhythm with the ease of a keyboard since switches are you know, super complicated.

Or accidently turn it off.
That would suck :(

AlbinoHagfish · Prattler Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 199

I so totally want one. It'd make an awesome conversation peice/testament to how pathetic I am.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

I so totally want one. It'd make an awesome conversation peice/testament to how pathetic I am.

But would that mean you had to have it by your computer, all the time? That works out though, with all the pr0n and all.

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

Soon they'll be burning porn into toast and have interactive porn for your vibrator.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Soon they'll be burning porn into toast and have interactive porn for your vibrator.

Talk about a food fetish! LAWL

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

And then years from now we'll be discussing what went wrong in the foody fandom and recalling how it started as an appreciation of anthropomorphic food and a couple of nuts with food fetishes.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, USB vibrators with storage for porn. But can they also vibrate to the rhythm of various mp3s?

baserock love · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 685

No, but this one will vibrate to you blowing demons heads off in doom3.

http://www.slashdong.org/boards/viewtopic.php?t=6

The ultimate in home media interactivity :o

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

And then years from now we'll be discussing what went wrong in the foody fandom and recalling how it started as an appreciation of anthropomorphic food and a couple of nuts with food fetishes.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, USB vibrators with storage for porn. But can they also vibrate to the rhythm of various mp3s?

That would be awesome.
Unless it was like, Bach or something.

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

The idea of classical music being titillating in any way shape or form is enough to make me laugh until my lungs combust, especially considering today's music.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

The idea of classical music being titillating in any way shape or form is enough to make me laugh until my lungs combust, especially considering today's music.

OH COME ON LIKE YOUVE NEVER GOTTEN OFF LISTENING TO SWAN LAKE.
God, I love technology.
It's a great big beautiful tomorrow!

Troggler · Venter Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 246

Actually swan lake is really, really depressing to me for some reason. Maybe it's the lack of explosions, swear words and car chases.

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

i want to send a virus to somebody's vibrator

Barry Scott · Prattler Joined: 09 May 2005 Posts: 152

None of you lot are hardcore geeks are you? Never heard of the talking toaster? It is just held as the ultimate example of adding technology just for the hell of it. Of course there are plenty of nerds out there with too much free time and there are hundreds of examples of needless electronics being hammered onto bread burning apparatus.

A lot of them repeatedly ask "Do you want some toast?"

Geek humour is hilarious is it not?