Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

This obese crazy goes apeshit in front of her family and the cameras on an episode of "Trading Spouses". She "don't want no money", but she'll certainly take money for her gastric bypass.

Doom · Rasophore Joined: 02 Sep 2005 Posts: 56

That lady looks like the head of the chick from Upright Citizens Brigade attached to a fat woman's body. :shock: Now that's an act of Satin!

peppersprayed · Vociferator Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 369

That lady looks like the head of the chick from Upright Citizens Brigade attached to a fat woman's body. :shock: Now that's an act of Satin!

Ah Satin.... the silky smooth source of all evil.

TheBobSays · Venter Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 236

That lady looks like the head of the chick from Upright Citizens Brigade attached to a fat woman's body. :shock: Now that's an act of Satin!

Ah Satin.... the silky smooth source of all evil.

It's the fabric of our vice.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS OH GOD <3
I was seriously soooo pissed I missed this show. THANKYOUVERYMUCH *downloadz*

peppersprayed · Vociferator Joined: 23 Aug 2005 Posts: 369

That lady looks like the head of the chick from Upright Citizens Brigade attached to a fat woman's body. :shock: Now that's an act of Satin!

Ah Satin.... the silky smooth source of all evil.

It's the fabric of our vice.

TheBobSays · Venter Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 236

I didn't even know we had that emote!

Back on topic, FOX has definitely found its niche programming slot, between O'Rielly, Jerry Springer and this bit, they have definitely a good hold on the redneck market.

Second thought. This seems to be some sort of aftermath. But with a name like "Trading Spouses" what exactly was going through the crazy lady's mind in the first place? Swapping husbands is fine, as long as they're not jewish?

Edit: Okay, watched a bit more. Frigging hilarious. They swapped with a wiccan family? My guess is that the family wanted to get rid of the woman for a while (Who could blame them?) so that's what led to this. They seemed so happy before she returned! And the poor little girl. She's like traumatized by all this.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

I didn't know God modelled his 'spiritual warriors' after the Blob. Tarot cards, and a solstice party, might be wiccans, or may have just been a hippy. Regardless, hilfriginlarious.

"Tarot cards! DARK SIDE!"

Mewtwo_X · Qualificator Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 4

Maybe you'd like this?

http://godwarriorrrr.ytmnd.com/

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

Holy. Shit. ...DARK SIDED.

It's scary to see how some (insane) people react when they're thrown into a situation that goes against their ~~brainwashing~~ beliefs. I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for the fool and her family.

And it's all made better by her teeth.

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

..holy shit.

The sad thing is that, here in ye bible belt, there are LOTS of people like that.

I'd hate to see what she'd say if she met me. :D I have a (OH GOD ITS DARK SIDED) star tattoo'd right on my hand. MY HAND IS TAINTED, TAROT CARDS AND DARK SIDED OH JESUS-AH.

Dejan · Prattler Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 103

We got that show as well over here in germany.
That fish-out-of-water situation is good for some entertaining bits and naturally they try to find diametrically opposite stereotypes to swap.
I rarely watched it, but the magic formula seems to be to swap an anal retentive housewife with a lax, non-authoritive lifestyler mom. Or they swap between a "classical" german family and a 1st/2nd generation immigrant family (with the additional variations on strict/lax).
I dunno if they had such complete retards like that "god warrior" dramaboat but I doubt it.

I recently watched some new variation where a camera team follows an "unusual" family to film representative scenes with the kids . Then a team of mothers judges the parents after watching the footage and discussing wether they are good parents or not. The one episode that I saw was a divorced pimp dad with his 5 year old son and his late teen/early twenties daughter who dropped out of school so pursue a career as a housewife.
Even THAT wasn't as bad as "god warrior".

Also, am I the only one that associates "god warrior" with giant slimy, half decomposed abominations that shoot atomic destruction rays from their mouths (Nausicaä)? It seems kind of fitting.

Brentos · Apocrisiary Joined: 02 May 2005 Posts: 48

I honestly thought she was saying DORK SA-DIDD and I was like what? Dorks I did?!?!?!?

And then she accepts the money...

Haw Haw! :twisted:

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

I didn't bother watching the clip. The comments in this thread confirm that I did the right thing when I threw out my TV back in 2001. I haven't missed it.

Now I just spend too much time on the intarweb instead...

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

The comments in this thread confirm that I did the right thing when I threw out my TV back in 2001. I haven't missed it.

you are so PUNK ROCK

Mastertran · Venter Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 275

That woman looks like an extra in The Devil's Rejects.

Brentos · Apocrisiary Joined: 02 May 2005 Posts: 48

Paul! that's deadly! OH YEAH!!!!!!!! I've never even OWNED a TV by the way. People think I'm weird because of THAT, out of all things. I'm like 'No, you haven't seen nuttin' yet man!'... OH YEAH!

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 560

http://cgi.ebay.com/Talking-bobblehead-nodder-trading-spouses-GOD-WARRIOR_W0QQitemZ6225867209QQcategoryZ4083QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

http://cgi.ebay.com/Talking-bobblehead-nodder-trading-spouses-GOD-WARRIOR_W0QQitemZ6225867209QQcategoryZ4083QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Haaaaaha SOMEONE BUY IT FOR ME MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEK D:

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

Long URL

The most amazing thing I think is the picture of the God Warrior herself holding an autographed photo of the God Warrior bobblehead. Well at least some people don't mind being made fun of.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

Or they're too stupid to get why they are mock worthy...

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Haha, ok, I just watched that clip.
I adore it.
God Warrior is my new obsession.
EVERYTHING IS DARK SIDED GET OUTtttttt IN JESUS NAME AH PRAH-AYYYY

TheBobSays · Venter Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 236

Haha, ok, I just watched that clip.
I adore it.
God Warrior is my new obsession.
EVERYTHING IS DARK SIDED GET OUTtttttt IN JESUS NAME AH PRAH-AYYYY

I was going to photoshop, but my lazy hurts, so instead, I'll just link to an image instead.

If only you knew the power of the dark side! We have tarot cards!

Barry Scott · Prattler Joined: 09 May 2005 Posts: 152

Second thought. This seems to be some sort of aftermath. But with a name like "Trading Spouses" what exactly was going through the crazy lady's mind in the first place?

Heh, over here it's called "Wife Swap" but that natrally it got FOXifide for the US market.

EDIT: BTW, why does the US have better freaks with no shame to put on telly then we do? Is it something in the water that makes you lot happily act like retards in front of a camera?

TheBobSays · Venter Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 236

EDIT: BTW, why does the US have better freaks with no shame to put on telly then we do? Is it something in the water that makes you lot happily act like retards in front of a camera?

You know, I wish I knew. I'd like to excuse it simply as the US having more people, and therefore, more idiots from the bell curve to choose from, but that doesn't seem to explain things. What's sad is that it's not the camera that makes this happen. On average, we're just... well, you know the stereotype of the 'average american!' Maybe it's the flouride in the water...

The Flying Fox · Coadjutor Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 93

I wonder what, exactly, she means is 'dark-sided.' Dark sided as in standing in the gargantuan shadow she casts over the lands with her horrifying, bloated figure? And why is she fretting over moon-worshipping? She IS the moon. :rolleyes:

TheBobSays · Venter Joined: 19 Jun 2005 Posts: 236

I was going to do an edit, adding about why we have crazies, but why do that when you can extend the thread?

I wonder what, exactly, she means is 'dark-sided.' Dark sided as in standing in the gargantuan shadow she casts over the lands with her horrifying, bloated figure? And why is she fretting over moon-worshipping? She IS the moon. :roll:

My theory as to why the US has so many crazies is complacency. The last time there's been a major war on US soil was over a century ago. Otherwise, it's been attacks on Non-state US-held territories or single isolated attacks.

And one will note that in those instances, at those locations, the US character changed dramatically into something noble and admirable; for instance, at ground zero of the world trade center, the organization and dedication of the volunteers that crystallized out of nowhere. The reactions of those in Alabama, or Illinois, or California, or anywhere hundreds of miles from the attack was less so, because they were not directly affected.

What does this have to do with the crazy lady? Well, with no outside attacks, one gets complacent, and looks for new enemies. Since Africa is too far away for them to care about, one will be made up. Namely, in this case, ~~the smooth silky feel of satin~~ satan. As such, she defends her homeland from the ~~bogeymen~~ devil by praying every day, and keeping an eye out for anything that could be interpreted as not aligned with her task. Tarot, gargoyles, lunar worship, etc. This is why she claims to be a "God Warrior." This is her battle. Silly, yes, but what else is she going to fight, without having to examine herself?

P.S.

That's no moon... It's full of the Dark Side!

MagKnightX · Vociferator Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 415

Coming from the south, I can truly say that the problem comes from a mix of bad moonshine and an appreciation for Jay-zus ahr Loahrd not found in such quantity anywhere else in the world.

Seriously, I think the Pope would take one look at an Alabama Jesus-woman and say, "Whoa, slow the fuck down, he was only the son of God, you know."

Squizzle · Prattler Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 121

why does the US have better freaks with no shame to put on telly then we do? Is it something in the water that makes you lot happily act like retards in front of a camera?

It's easy to understand if you keep in mind that this country was settled by religious whackos who couldn't get along with folks back home in Angleland in the first place. Pardon our dust, we're still working out that particular genetic kink.

Computolio · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 865

Paul! that's deadly! OH YEAH!!!!!!!! I've never even OWNED a TV by the way. People think I'm weird because of THAT, out of all things. I'm like 'No, you haven't seen nuttin' yet man!'... OH YEAH!

you know madonna said that not owning a tv was like totally punk rock man

RailFoxen · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 625

you know madonna said that not owning a tv was like totally punk rock man

(10:14:19) Damionstjames: amion then turns on to his stomach, and starts doing pushups in time to ozzy's ingenius lyrics and madona's wonderful techno. His tail sways, as his head moves in a "yeah I know" motion. His eyes closed, and his face covered with a smirk. He starts to slowly crawl back towards the pole, crawling up it as if it represented something more intimate, nearly worshiping it as he crawled up it, now moving his head in a forward "pidgeon" bob to the music
(10:14:59) kittyboy01: *smiles entranced by the hot show*
(10:15:44) kobaltbear: damn

She doesn't know dark side. YOU DON'T KNOW DARK SIDE.

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

you know madonna said that not owning a tv was like totally punk rock man

So, is Madonna a punk rocker herself?

Squizzle · Prattler Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 121

Yeah, Madonna gave up on recording terrible electronic music and is now recording terrible punk music.

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

Yeah, Madonna gave up on recording terrible electronic music and is now recording terrible punk music.

If punk rock spins in it's grave any faster, the universe will implode. What is she thinking?

P.S: Gotta love rehashes in pop music.

Captain Cowgirl · Needs to get out more Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 1091

Yeah, Madonna gave up on recording terrible electronic music and is now recording terrible punk music.

SHE IS THE NEW SID VICIOUS
Oh, I miss the days when she just tried terrible rap with such profound lyrics as:
I'm drinkin' a soy latte
I get a double shoté
It goes right through my body
And you know I'm satisfied

Mastertran · Venter Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 275

God I hate Madonna.

Squizzle · Prattler Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 121

Okay okay actually it's a remix by a zany English DJ.

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

Okay. So. After watching both episodes, I concluded.

Christian mother is batshit insane. Holding several CONVERSATIONS with "God". "God speaks to me" "God took over" "God told me..."

Friends of christian family alienate non-christian mom and are generally hateful towards her. (A very christian way to act.) Friends of non-christian family try to get her to participate, she alienates herself. (They didn't even sacrifice her during the "unholy" non religious ceremony!)

Christian family generally accept other mom, think she's a bit strange. Non christian family TRY to accept other mom, but are probably scared shitless by her fanatacism.

Christian mom forces her views on other family, tries to convert them. Non christian mom is easy going and never says anything about their prayers.

Christian mom tears up letter from other mom, says she doesn't want money and generally acts like satan himself had been in her house. (Later changing her mind about money..) Non christian family reads letter, accepts money, makes no big deal out of it.

Christian mom scares kids and is overly dramatic and stubborn about everything. Non christian mom tries to make the kids feel good about themselves, nice to family.

Christians: 0
Non christians: 1

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

Not unlike the snotty old biddies...er."good christian Housewives" of good ol' 1960s era East Point Ga...(that explains a lot, huh kids)She( I use the term losely)also reminds me of the school bus driver lady from "South park"....yipe :shock:

Dejan · Prattler Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 103

"DORK SIDET!!!" is now a part of my vocabulary... and I started to infect my friends with god warrior as well. I got myself both episodes of the show, but I couldn't bring myself to skip through them, yet.
I'll prolly bring them over to a party tomorrow so we can watch it drunk if I manage to pitch it right.

UPDATE:
We watched the ending of the 2nd episode. One of my pals that just got a DSL connection asked me WHY I downloaded such vile crap and everyone that had cable/dsl for a while just laughed dirtily in a somewhat brain-damaged kind of way...

Jerry Collins · Vociferator Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 548

YUP! :lol: :D Cheap thrills a-plenty! :D