Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

http://www.nikart.ca/writing/toast.html

SEXY :twisted:

HEY, someone find me that Doug Winger pic with the anthro toaster in it, okay?

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 658

http://www.nikart.ca/writing/toast.html

SEXY :twisted:

HEY, someone find me that Doug Winger pic with the anthro toaster in it, okay?

What - this?

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

At first, I thought it was supposed to be some failed attempt at comedy, but then I realized that people are probably getting off on this.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I realize that this is the Internet and people can get off on anything and everything but a toaster?!! Why would someone fantasize about something notorious for burning things?

Ruggy · Qualificator Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 12

I realize that this is the Internet and people can get off on anything and everything but a toaster?!! Why would someone fantasize about something notorious for burning things?

The site says, "You won't be able to get off using this story, unless you are a very odd person. It's a satirical science fiction porn story, featuring a toaster. I don't know why toasters are a prime subject matter for humour, but they are. I sent this story out to a "men's magazine" for publication. They politely turned me down. I can't say I was surprised."

So, at least he was only sexualizing a toaster in jest.

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Vociferator Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 708

I realize that this is the Internet and people can get off on anything and everything but a toaster?!! Why would someone fantasize about something notorious for burning things?

The site says, "You won't be able to get off using this story, unless you are a very odd person. It's a satirical science fiction porn story, featuring a toaster. I don't know why toasters are a prime subject matter for humour, but they are. I sent this story out to a "men's magazine" for publication. They politely turned me down. I can't say I was surprised."

So, at least he was only sexualizing a toaster in jest.

Yeah, toasters are hilarious. Whenever I look at a toaster, I just can't contain myself and I go into convulsive fits of laughter.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

Yeah, toasters are hilarious. Whenever I look at a toaster, I just can't contain myself and I go into convulsive fits of laughter.

Fuh-KING in-to the sun!
Toasty seed is in your hair!
When there's a wank to be done
The Fap-ping toasters will be there!

'cuz It's Fap-Fap-Fap!
Orgasm is on the way
What glorious sites they've seen!
Fap-ping in-to the sun!
Oh, might-y toast-er things!

Bloodied · Rasophore Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 53

http://www.nikart.ca/writing/toast.html

SEXY :twisted:

HEY, someone find me that Doug Winger pic with the anthro toaster in it, okay?

What - this?

Woah...

That's, like, a totally zen statement on the nature of society...

or something :?

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

http://www.nikart.ca/writing/toast.html

SEXY :twisted:

HEY, someone find me that Doug Winger pic with the anthro toaster in it, okay?

What - this?

Thank you! I started to slog through Doug Winger's VCL gallery (it's so freaking HUGE!) for that pic, but soon gave up. I am curious how you found it so quickly...?

I realize that this is the Internet and people can get off on anything and everything but a toaster?!! Why would someone fantasize about something notorious for burning things?

But can you think of any sexier appliance? A fridge would be like fucking a big fat woman, a stove would be awkward and I wouldn't even know where to begin with a dishwasher or microwave. Blenders and mixers have moving bits that could be dangerous, and just imagine getting a blowjob from a garbage disposal! I will however concede that many women do find washing machines to be quite stimulating. O course cars can be sexy, as many people already know (just do a Google search on "sex with cars"), and I'll admit the iMac is pretty cute. But of in-the-kitchen type appliances, the toaster is somehow more emotionaly accessable.

Why is this? I don't know. Maybe because they're really more fun than useful. You can make toast in an oven, but it's so much easier and fun to put a few slices in the toaster slots, push that button down (it gives a little bit of resistance as it goes down, a nice tactile sensation to file away in your subconcious memory), and wait for it to pop back up. Perhaps the anticipation of when it will pop is also sort of fun, and taken to a sexual level can be akin to balloon fetishists attraction to playing with and 'popping' balloons; analgoues to the build up and release of orgasm.

There's also their friendly appearance, and they're perfect for anthropomorhpism as well; think of The Brave Little Toaster, or the toaster from Red Dwarf, or just look at that Doug Wonger pic - she is kind of cute, you have to admit :wink:

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

It was a cheap laugh. I use the word 'was' because something about SFI analyzing it ruined the effect. Reminds me of the pro-bestiality furries writing poetry about their poor pet's ass or something.

Anything can be, and will be, a fetish. The internet may unite society, but fuck happy fools got to it first...

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

Y'see, boy, a woman is a lot like...a refrigerator! They're six feet tall, weight 300 pounds...
And they make ice.... -Actually, a woman is a lot like a beer. They look good.
They smell good. And you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
-But you can't stop at just one! You wanna drink another woman!

Wonder if some people got fantasies of Ivor the Engine or Thomas the Tank Engine? =D

UNF UNF!

m_estrugo · Vociferator Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 534

Damn you Skunkfuckers.inc! Your new avatar's gonna make me have nightmares tonight!

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

And damn if it doesn't have cute furry critters too...

Bloodied · Rasophore Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 53

Heh, I always suspected Ivor was a dirty bitch :twisted:

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

It was a cheap laugh. I use the word 'was' because something about SFI analyzing it ruined the effect. Reminds me of the pro-bestiality furries writing poetry about their poor pet's ass or something.

You know I wasn't seriously analyzing it, don't you?

Damn you Skunkfuckers.inc! Your new avatar's gonna make me have nightmares tonight!

Well that's just creepy :?