Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

My dad recieved an email from someone who decided to save the page in html, leading me to believe the entire article I had read was a joke. (A seemingly good one considering the LA Times is a real syndicated news organization.) Lo and behold I'm reading their site and come across an article of the same name. "This must be the article that was being parodied," I thought to myself. I won't get into the details so I'll just let you guys read it yourselves at their site. (I officially give this story the "The Win" nomination for 2005.) :)

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

By this logic Ren & Stimpy are gay because they live together.

Nice job on attacking the big issues, christians. :roll:

Bloodied · Rasophore Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 53

And let's not forget Bert and Ernie

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

I am reminded of a recent episode of Ren & Stimpy (one of my favorite shows of all time, I might add) where Ren went:

REN HÖEK: How many times much I tell you? I'm the pitcher, you're the catcher! I'm the pitcher, you're the catcher!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

Chiming in, a homosexuality detection expert at the similarly conservative Family Research Council called words like "tolerance" and "diversity" part of a "coded language that is regularly used by the homosexual community."

Chiming in, a homosexuality detection expert at the similarly conservative Family Research Council

a homosexuality detection expert

what

I am reminded of a recent episode of Ren & Stimpy (one of my favorite shows of all time, I might add) where Ren went:

REN HÖEK: How many times much I tell you? I'm the pitcher, you're the catcher! I'm the pitcher, you're the catcher!

That's the new series. I'm not sure if it's still any good, but basically they are played up as being gay.

And let's not forget Bert and Ernie

Hold her still Bert, I haven't ruptured her uterus yet!

Bloodied · Rasophore Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 53

:shock:

Mother... ~whimpers as his childhood is raped~

Paul · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 1092

That story's for real all right. The BBC had a report on it a few days ago. I had a good laugh at that...

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

Spongebob gave me the gay. :cry:

Dr. Dos · Vociferator Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 718

i like how preaching equality is BRAINWASHING

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

That story's for real all right. The BBC had a report on it a few days ago. I had a good laugh at that...

That also has a very high The Win factor.

Actually, they are being brainwashed by a vast network of gay cartoon characters bent on destroying civilization as we know it.

Best... quote... evar...
My dad is also a righty whitie (Well, short Mexican, but he's a coconut!) and even he had a good laugh at this.

Or Mr. Rogers, one of whose signature phrases was, suspiciously, "people can like you just because you're you."

Ohnoes, stop liking people for who they are go'dammit. Here I was thinking that only furries had that special ability to rape my childhood.

Off-topic, but here's another interesting article.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

SpongeBob's rep is that he's a nice guy — a pushover even — who tries to get along with everyone, even Squidward, his gruff neighbor. The Sponge has indeed become something of a camp figure among gay men. But his nice-guy mien is what prompted an educational-film maker to star SpongeBob in a short video for young children about multiculturalism called "We Are Family." The video promotes a "tolerance pledge" for schoolkids that could extend to sexual identity.

Let's see... someone is a nice guy... even to people that are hostile towards them.. so they're gay. Someone promotes peace and tolerance among people and suggests that we are all part of the same family is gay.

You know what this means, don't you kids?

JESUS IS GAY!

Chiming in, a homosexuality detection expert at the similarly conservative Family Research Council called words like "tolerance" and "diversity" part of a "coded language that is regularly used by the homosexual community."

You know who else preached things like "tolerance" and respecting "diversity?"

THAT FAG JESUS

a homosexuality detection expert

what

Quantum Coyote · Venter Joined: 12 May 2004 Posts: 221

I am reminded of a recent episode of Ren & Stimpy (one of my favorite shows of all time, I might add) where Ren went:

REN HÖEK: How many times much I tell you? I'm the pitcher, you're the catcher! I'm the pitcher, you're the catcher!

That's the new series. I'm not sure if it's still any good, but basically they are played up as being gay.

Well, heh, thats been sorta implicit the whole time ie. Nurse Stimpy, when Ren & Stimpy get spayed and neutered, Stimpy gets spayed, though he is obviosly male, and Hoek was always the "Man of the house" etc. However I'm not saying they were supposed to be gay. But er, if the creator (forget his name) is directing/writing/or contributing to this show Mr. Inc. mentioned maybe they are gay after all, when I thought it was just a subtle joke. Sounds like they are going out on a limb maybe to try to make the show 'edgy' again, but I'm not optomistic as networks tend to fuck with things and 'sequels' are almost never as good as the original item.

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

If guessing which characters are gay is funny.. then. .. They hafta make them super gay in the sequel...
Executives think it is funny and edgy!

And they can't make the sequels like the old stuff..
They hafta re-invent everything to keep the show goin.. which usually kills it! <=)

With all the information people have at hand today, why does TV show the worst garbage EVAR?
Shouldn't TV have evolved into sumfin' good y now?
Stupid TV makes stupid people stupider...

Or maybe... it is the intarweb that makes people stupid enuff to watch just any shit on TV? =)
Or radiation from mobile phones! =)
Or the space metals they put in my tinfoil, I make my hat from! Aaaaaahhahahaaawww!

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

I think it's the bell curve. The people that would rather watch Jerry Springer and The Swan breed faster than the people who would rather watch something at least semi-decent, skewing the demographics and stacking them in the favor of such stuff. That and with our 30-second pizza bites and 6-second sound byte culture, we're almost continually training new generations to seek less mentally engaging entertainment... hence, they'd rather see something where things blow up every 5 minutes than something like House of Flying Daggers where you actually have to READ DURING A MOVIE... even if it is a kung-fu film (actually it's more of a romance/drama with action).

Unfortunately, I think this mentality is even creeping into movies like Flying Daggers. I went to see that last night, and have officially decided I'm going to have to start wearing foam ear plugs at movies. I spent most of Return of the King with my fingers in my ears because all of the battle scenes were painfully loud. The theater had the volume up so loud in Flying Daggers that you could practically hear the actors blink. Last time I checked, a soundtrack was intended to accent a movie, not drown it out. Fortunately, there are many scenes where it's relatively quiet. Unfortunately, what sound there was was cranked up. Recall the almost soothing bamboo forest fight in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? Remember the gentle "shhh-shhh" of the bamboo leaves as they fought among them? There's a similiar scene in Flying Daggers, but it was more like SHAAAASHAAASHAAAHSSHAAAAAAA.

I figure at least movies like Star Wars are going to require ear plugs from now on. I figure it's another offshoot of the bell curve culture... subtlety is a thing of the past, and movies have to be thunderous for the monster truck ralley crowd or the audiophiles that have to hear every last little sound in a movie like it was an atomic explosion.

Quantum Coyote · Venter Joined: 12 May 2004 Posts: 221

ZenZhu Wrote:

I think it's the bell curve.

Ah.. I remember you saying in the past that you think it isn't so stable. Yeah.. Sometimes I wonder if there are groups or individuals who want to create a nation of sheep that can be led to whatever sort of economic/political/military slaughter they need.
But, ZenZhu, as you know, humans, as advanced creatures, pass along most of their knowledge to their young (which is one reason we are so slow to develop from total dependancy in infancy to the antics of adolescense and beyond, learning takes time) though teaching instead of instinct, this is very dynamic, for better or worse.
So what I'm trying to say is that it is education and society, rather then genetic intellligence. THAT "bell curve" simply doesn't move quickly in this time span. Not over large populations. There would have to be a strong, likely universal, pressure that is selective for decreasing the genetic aspects intelligence. I can't think of any, and I don't know of any. But I am honestly very interested to know if you have any ideas.

Donotsue Wrote:

With all the information people have at hand today, why does TV show the worst garbage EVAR?
Shouldn't TV have evolved into sumfin' good y now?
Stupid TV makes stupid people stupider...

I wholeheartedly agree, and I havn't a clue

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

ZenZhu Wrote:

I think it's the bell curve.

Ah.. I remember you saying in the past that you think it isn't so stable.

Well, it's not a hard, fast, infallible theory... but it's one that I think is applicable at times. I wasn't suggesting the bell curve is THE reason. I should have probably said that it may be a phenomenon akin to the whole bell curve idea.

Yeah.. Sometimes I wonder if there are groups or individuals who want to create a nation of sheep that can be led to whatever sort of economic/political/military slaughter they need.

Freemasons

So what I'm trying to say is that it is education and society, rather then genetic intellligence. THAT "bell curve" simply doesn't move quickly in this time span. Not over large populations. There would have to be a strong, likely universal, pressure that is selective for decreasing the genetic aspects intelligence. I can't think of any, and I don't know of any. But I am honestly very interested to know if you have any ideas.

I think what we witness in society is largely a social bell curve, rather than an actual genetic one. So, as I think you're saying, the whole idea that the dumb get dumber and the relatively smart get fewer in number is more the product of social conditioning and society's choices than anything on a genetic level. If that's what you're saying, I wholeheartedly agree.

There's one concept that spans both the social and physiological/genetic levels.. that humans seek pleasure and to avoid discomfort. On the genetic level, it's as basic as our wanting heat when it's cold, but also having an aversion to being set on fire. On the social level, though, you really get into multiple facets. We not only seek physical comfort, but creature comforts, mental comfort, emotional comfort, etc. Likewise, we try to avoid discomfort in those areas.

So, what is seemingly comfortable to most people? Stuff they don't have to think about. Thought can require focus and discipline. Focus and discipline are viewed as uncomfortable in that they're not fun things. People come home and, by and large, don't want to have to think about plot, subtitles, etc. They want visual pablum.

I would say that people by and large want their basic urges catered to. Anything more might involve effort... and, at least in the largely American mindset... effort equals discomfort. So, TV seeks to gain and maintain viewership by catering to people's basic urges.

But, as they get those basic urges sated... they become desensitized to a given level of stimulus. So, TV has to go even MORE basic... cascading into this downward spiral of pandering to a desire for sex, scandal, and big explosions.

Maybe it's a kind of mobius strip. The population by and large is dumb.. and pretty much likes it that way. TV is driven by numbers, so it panders to the dumb. As the dumb get pandered to, they become dumber. So, TV has to sink even lower to maintain their interest.

Anyway, that's just some barstool theories there. Nothing hard and fast and nothing I'd stick to. I'm just kind of "what if-ing" here.

So.. what is it.. TV makes people dumb, or dumb people make TV dumber?

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

So.. what is it.. TV makes people dumb, or dumb people make TV dumber?

It's a vicious circle. I blame FOX. They started makign things to appeal to the lowest-common denominator, and had to keep lowering the bar, as their resulting audience wanted even more inane and crass shows..

.. now that's considered the norm. It's only going to go further and further downhill from here. Sadly, even PBS is nothing but mostly fluff pieces with hugenormous ads at either end (sponsored by... Ford... For 10 minutes, let's examine this truck!), If it wasn't for Law and Order reruns, and BBC America, I'd have nothing to watch anymore.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

See.. foxes don't just degrade furrydom.. they're pulling down TV as well.

I don't actually watch much TV these days. I watch or tape new episodes of Inuyasha. I try to keep up with Ghost in the Shell: SAC, but it's no loss if I miss it. My usual evening filler if I'm doing the dishes... assuming I don't just have my player on with some shakuhachi music... is M*A*S*H or Cops (my guilty pleasure since I almost became one). Beyond that, I watch the International Channel for their Japanese shows to practice hearing it, and usually tape IFC's "Samurai Saturday" movie. But, as far as actually sitting to watch something.... not really.

My wife will put the Weather Channel on for background noise.. but I prefer quiet. She'll be visiting her parents next week.... so I plan to take full advantage of the chance for TV-less nights.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

SpongeBob's rep is that he's a nice guy — a pushover even — who tries to get along with everyone, even Squidward, his gruff neighbor. The Sponge has indeed become something of a camp figure among gay men. But his nice-guy mien is what prompted an educational-film maker to star SpongeBob in a short video for young children about multiculturalism called "We Are Family." The video promotes a "tolerance pledge" for schoolkids that could extend to sexual identity.

Let's see... someone is a nice guy... even to people that are hostile towards them.. so they're gay. Someone promotes peace and tolerance among people and suggests that we are all part of the same family is gay.

You know what this means, don't you kids?

JESUS IS GAY!

Chiming in, a homosexuality detection expert at the similarly conservative Family Research Council called words like "tolerance" and "diversity" part of a "coded language that is regularly used by the homosexual community."

You know who else preached things like "tolerance" and respecting "diversity?"

THAT FAG JESUS

I guess that means Lizard is gay too.

Donotsue · Needs to get out more Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 884

Lordy.. this is way too .. nice! What happened to insane random violence that can strike at anybody anytime?
Why, Dave... yer sensitive side is showing... =)

http://www.lizardcomics.com/d/20020304.html

I'll page thru them Yoshi comics again... =D

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

Well, 99% no thanks to a tipoff from me, the Daily Show is going to run a segement on this article and the surrounding 'OLD WHITE MAN DRAMAZ.'

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

Freemasons

Hey watch it there buddy :x

Kadius · Needs to get out more Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 911

Freemasons

Hey watch it there buddy :x

Yeah Zen, they'll hear you.

You know, the older I get; the stupider people seem. And the less I watch television, the more ads/TV shows insult me. Someone needs to bomb Jamster for ruining comedy central and raeping my soul.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

I think the ones I hate the most are the ones for these "revolutionary new products." I'm talking about things like this "cold heat" soldering iron, or spatula-whisk combos and crap. They show how much "easier" their products are by showing someone using the alternative like a retarded, epileptic monkey.

Like the soldering iron... the commercial says "with old-fashioned soldering irons, you're limited to where there's an outlet!" It shows some faceless person struggling to get a soldering iron to their project, combatting an amazingly short cord. And yet, the table their project is on extends to the wall. Here's a high-tech solution, Einstein, MOVE THE PROJECT CLOSER TO THE FUCKING WALL!

Not to say these gadgets aren't handy, but I'm sick of the "old-fashioned" methods they compare the products to being staged as if they're being peformed by a gnu with Parkinson's disease.

Another obnoxious one is the Tempur-Pedic commercial showing a couple tossing and turning on an "old-fashioned" mattress. You know, Madison Avenue, I'd toss and turn too if my wife and I were trying to sleep on a queen-sized bed fitted with full-sized sheets.

Or how about this ab-lounger or some crap. They talk about "old-fashioned crunches" like they're nothing compared to their "high-tech" device. Guess what, numbnuts, we have all of these "high-tech" fitness machines, and people are fatter than ever. Maybe there's something to be said for getting exercise the way your grandfather did when he was young. Hmm? Hmm?

:evil: :x :evil: :x :evil:

Dogthing · Vociferator Joined: 26 Oct 2003 Posts: 700

Fuck chainsaws, axes are big, mean-looking, and don't take gas to use. Real men use axes.

I'm serious.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

Fuck chainsaws, axes are big, mean-looking, and don't take gas to use. Real men use axes.

I'm serious.

On the other hand: Google Image Search on "hotsaw"