Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

AngryFurreII · Qualificator Joined: 23 Feb 2005 Posts: 20

One day a lion noticed a hunter pulling an arrow from the body of a deer which he had just killed, his hounds wagging their tails and panting in triumph behind him. The lion had just lost a hunt, and seeing the man's success he cast down his fangs and claws and declared himself human. The lion began to walk on his hind legs, wear clothing and use weapons, he even established a large flock of sheep under his name and wed a brickmaker's daughter.

When the time came to defend his flock against a wolf, however, the lion's thumbless hands accidentally dropped their weapons and the wolf jumped upon him. Just before the lion was devoured he said, “I am rightly served, for I was not content to be myself.”

Last night I stayed up reading 175 frickin' Aesop's fables. (There are actually more than that, but I went to bed after my eyes started to cross without my wanting them to.) It turns out that after you read about fifty of them the style becomes extremely easy to imitate. Not only that but you start to unconsciously your own fables in your head and they start build up in the back of your brain as you go throughout the day until people start to ask you why there is text floating behind your eyes. So when my mom told me to write something today (I'm homeschooled) I decided to take one of those head-floaty ideas and jot it down. Halfway through I noticed a parallel to furries and, inspired, went a hid a few more in it.

Anyway, it's not great and kind of kiddy, but I thought you guys might get a kick out of it. Or get a kick out of making fun of me for writing it. Either way I still got to make my first ever post at the CYD forums. (I've been lurking in them since last spring and have wanted to post foreve but never really had much to say.) I'm thinking about making a small series of comics with a similar messages hidden in the them, just to see if 'misplaced spirit' furries become attracted to it for the animals without seeing the finger jabbing at them. The only problem is that my art needs . . . improvement before it becomes worthy for the public unless I were to use a highly stylized . . . style.

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 658

One day a lion noticed a hunter pulling an arrow from the body of a deer which he had just killed, his hounds wagging their tails and panting in triumph behind him. The lion had just lost a hunt, and seeing the man's success he cast down his fangs and claws and declared himself human. The lion began to walk on his hind legs, wear clothing and use weapons, he even established a large flock of sheep under his name and wed a brickmaker's daughter.

When the time came to defend his flock against a wolf, however, the lion's thumbless hands accidentally dropped their weapons and the wolf jumped upon him. Just before the lion was devoured he said, “I am rightly served, for I was not content to be myself.”

Last night I stayed up reading 175 frickin' Aesop's fables. (There are actually more than that, but I went to bed after my eyes started to cross without my wanting them to.) It turns out that after you read about fifty of them the style becomes extremely easy to imitate. Not only that but you start to unconsciously your own fables in your head and they start build up in the back of your brain as you go throughout the day until people start to ask you why there is text floating behind your eyes. So when my mom told me to write something today (I'm homeschooled) I decided to take one of those head-floaty ideas and jot it down. Halfway through I noticed a parallel to furries and, inspired, went a hid a few more in it.

Anyway, it's not great and kind of kiddy, but I thought you guys might get a kick out of it. Or get a kick out of making fun of me for writing it. Either way I still got to make my first ever post at the CYD forums. (I've been lurking in them since last spring and have wanted to post foreve but never really had much to say.) I'm thinking about making a small series of comics with a similar messages hidden in the them, just to see if 'misplaced spirit' furries become attracted to it for the animals without seeing the finger jabbing at them. The only problem is that my art needs . . . improvement before it becomes worthy for the public unless I were to use a highly stylized . . . style.

Wait - you wrote that? Well, damn, I thought it was an honest-to-God fable. Not bad.

AngryPuritan · Needs to get out more Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 1361

Firstly, for the sake of immaturity...

OMG! YOU STOELED 'Angry' 4 UR USRNAEM! LAWSUITE!!!!!11one

Seriously, I don't fully understand your position. That 'secretly toying with the furries' position makes no sense. You don't need to trick them to prove that they're dumbasses; They do that on their own.

Secondly, your efforts in converting any into a non-dumbass through such subtly is doomed. Remember that these are people for whom 'subtle' means only a forty foot tall hermtaur instead of an eighty foot tall one.

Eh, I seem to really have a thing against them today, and if you want to mess with their pea minds be my guest.

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

At first I thought it was an actual Aesop fable, so for that I will comend you. By all means continue and strive for improvement.

Oh and... give my regards to AngryFurreI whoever that might be.

DA · Vociferator Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Posts: 595

I quite like it too, it makes much sense.

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

It's alright, but I'd keep it and anything else in your life as distant from furries as possible.

AngryFurreII · Qualificator Joined: 23 Feb 2005 Posts: 20

Thanks guys. AngryFurre (I) was my older brother, who took up the name when he became disenchanted with furry. Though my discovery (and eventual disenchantment) came years later, I picked up the name and it stuck.

You're probably right, Puritan, and I'd agree with you too Moogle but it's a bit late now. Anyway, I hold the interest as a hobby only, and the fandom itself with wariness. You probably won't see me go off the deep end.

I just found this. Isn't there a similar story in the Bible . . . somewhere? If there is . . .

LAWSUITE!

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

I too thought it was a real fable. Very nice work, I am impressed.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

One day a lion noticed a hunter pulling an arrow from the body of a deer which he had just killed, his hounds wagging their tails and panting in triumph behind him. The lion had just lost a hunt, and seeing the man's success he cast down his fangs and claws and declared himself human. The lion began to walk on his hind legs, wear clothing and use weapons, he even established a large flock of sheep under his name and wed a brickmaker's daughter.

When the time came to defend his flock against a wolf, however, the lion's thumbless hands accidentally dropped their weapons and the wolf jumped upon him. Just before the lion was devoured he said, “I am rightly served, for I was not content to be myself.”

Okay, first of all, I read this having you pegged as another furry troll. I just want to get that disclaimer out in the open first.

See, not knowing your intent, the way I read it- expecting it was coming from a furry, mind you- was like this: the fable as written isn't about how throwing down and hiding from your humanity (or in the world of furry, your failure at humanity) will lead to bad things, it's about how being human -instead of your true noble predator self- will cause you to get eaten.

See, furries like to think they're strong. Fingerless gloves, *RAGE*, angst poetry and being in tune with nature and all that, when in fact they'd quickly die if removed from their pampered* enviroment of greasy foods, constant internet connection, non self-supported living arrangements** and triple heart bypass surgery***

So I read it as someone's attempt to show how you should always "be true to what you really are", because "humans are weak" and get their asses eaten in the end. Disregard that the human hunter was more successful at the hunt, because he was just being mean and unfair by using a weapon to kill that poor deer.

Whether or not that's how it was intended doesn't really matter as far as furries are concerned, because they twist and percieve anything in anyway that backs up their 'furryness'. Because they're dumb and pathetic and desperate to validate themselves, but that's another fable for another time.

*Sometimes literaly.

**Mommy's basement, mooching off a hapless aquaintance, communal housing of the all male prison-gay variety.

*** See; hyooman hating nature-boy Ebonlupus, not so human hating that he refused human technology performed by human surgeons to save his bloated but-I'M-not-a-HYOOMAN! ass

So does it still work as a fable? Yes, but it takes someone to pick on the subtlety of "the lion shouldn't try to be a human, while the human shouldn't try to be the lion". I don't think furries will get that far past LION HUNT GOOD, HYOOMAN BAAAAAAAD.

Really good work though, so you can't be a furry.

AngryFurreII · Qualificator Joined: 23 Feb 2005 Posts: 20

Shit, you're right. I will now curl up in the corner and commit suicide.

On a totally unrelated note, aren't aye-ayes neat?

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 1006

On a totally unrelated note, aren't aye-ayes neat?

On one hand, yes, on the other hand, NO.

(I suggest you look at the first pic last, to take away the pain of seeing the second one)

Now I seem to have misplaced that pic of CYD's beloved Gollum Aye-aye.... :(

MonicaKitty · Vociferator Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Posts: 663

Wow! That fable is really really good. I thought it was an authentic Aesop until I went back and reread your post. I'm really impressed! (I wish that was saying more!)