http://www.crushyiffdestroy.com/show-article.php?file=brobear

WHOOPS

http://www.crushyiffdestroy.com/show-article.php?file=brobear

WHOOPS

Right off the bat, we see that Brother Bear contains three of the necessary ingredients for a furry transformation story:

1) Transformation into a random animal for no logical reason. The choice of animal depends more on the author’s favorite animal than on which animal it would make sense in the situation. Which is why, no matter whether a human is chopping down trees or draining wetlands, the spirits of the forest will always punish him by turning him into a fox. (4)

2) Worship of “pure nature,” completely ignoring its real life brutality. All species of animals, excluding humans, can communicate in some common tongue. Predator and prey live together peacefully. No one eats each other. (5)

2) Idealized depiction of Native Americans as all-knowing stewards of the land, despite an almost complete lack of understanding of their culture and history. I know that whatever sins Native Americans may have commited against nature by hunting the megafauna into extinction are dwarfed beside those later commited by the white man with his forked tongue and his industrial empires, but, still, Native Americans were far from the lovey dovey peaceniks you see in furry stories.

By which I mean that Keeneye meets up with a spunky, street-wise bear cub named Koda. Since Keeneye’s sudden transformation into a bear has also inexpliccably altered his personality from that of a brash young kid to that of a grouchy old man he Will Keeneye learn to love and appreciate his new comrade despite himself? It’s questions like that that will have you on the edge of your seat.

see this is why you people should make me a mod

Well, before someone forgot to add a </table> and the entire thing had a painful blue background and size 24 white text.

see this is why you people should make me a mod

DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY CULTURE LIKE THAT! Who gives you the right to say such crap, when you no nothing yourself about the INUIT culture. You know nothing of the totem bear, so you have no right to criticize it. You should study things before judging them. Oh and by the way most of us Inuits are Christians. I think the only stereotypes are comming from you.

Dear Mr. Dogmusher,

Hello, this is the New Meat, author of the Brother Bear review. Thank you
for your comments. I find reader feedback to be an invaluable asset.
Unfortunately, you have failed to convince me that Brother Bear did not
suck. Please try again.

Huggles!^__________^

The new Meat

You just keep proving my point that you assume things, and most of the time when you do assume things, you're wrong. First off it's Ms. not Mr. Second off I wasn't trying to say that Brother Bear was a good movie, because that's up to the viewer to decide, there is no right or wrong, it's only opinion, I was trying to tell you not to judge my culture because you think it's a different way, for instance the Totem bear, when the movie said Bear of Love you thought that was stupid because bears are supposedly predators, and that why would Inuits call it the bear of love if it's trying to kill them. You just assumed that, and didn't do any research yourself. You should try reading about the Legend of the Thunderbird (it's a type of totem pole, the bear is normally located under the thunderbird, and the bear was not evil (or looking for people to kill). I didn't fail to do anything, and if there's anything that sucks it was your review. Good reviews also contain real life FACTS, not just OPINIONS. Facts can back up an opinion, but you failed to research any true facts. Hence forth, you failed not me. Your review failed.

Dear Mr. Cooper,

I am sorry, but now I am thoroughly confused. So you didn't like the movie?
Then we are in agreement. I do not see what the problem is then. Because
there certainly is a right and wrong answer to whether that movie sucked.
The right answer is that it did. I'm glad that we can agree on something.
Take care!

Huggles! ^______^

The New Meat

YOU IDIOT! Did you even read a single word I said. First of it's MS. not MR. I never said I didn't like the movie, and I never said I did. The movie was better than your review. Your review sucked. I'm not agreeing on anything with you. You're just some dumb kid who doesn't know what he's talking about.

Dear Mrs. Cooper,

First, I think that name-calling is totally inappropriate to a modern
civilized medium like email. In my country, we consider name-calling to be
very rude.

I'm sorry, obviously I misunderstood your last email. I apologize for that.
I thought that you were saying that you did NOT like the movie.
Apparently, you DID like the movie. I cannot agree with this at all,
because I found the movie to be lacking in many respects. I understand that
most people do not have PhDs in film like I do, so they may not pick up on
some of the more subtle narrative errors in Brother Bear, but, I assure you,
I am trained to notice these things.

Also, I reread your previous email but I am still confused. I may be
mistaken on this, but I believe that the thunderbird is a bird, not a bear.
I do not understand its relevance to this movie. I didn't see any birds at
all in this movie. Please correct me if I'm wrong, because this could be
very important in revising my review.

Huggles! ^______^

When will you understand. Ms. means not married, Mrs. means married, I said MS. By the way I recall in your review you used a swear/curse which is worse than name-calling I believe. And I consider the word Eksimo name calling if you dont know our true culture name, Inuit.

Trained to notice these things. Whoever trained you, must have wasted their time because you failed to do any research yourself. You are full of opinions and no facts.

The Thunderbird is a bird, and you did not read my e-mail that well, because I had stated that the bear is normally included in a Thunderbird totem pull, it usually resides just below the thunderbird. If you had researched Inuit mythology and totemic animal meanings you would have known that. Since you failed to do the research yourelf, I guess I have to tell you, in totemic stories, the BEAR was a caring figure and was not to be insulted/cursed. I would give you the entire thunderbird story, but I highly doubt that you would even borther to read it considering you have trouble reading what I write in a normal e-mail.

Dear Mrs. Cooper,

So the thunderbird is NOT a bear? I think I understand. I do not see why
you mentioned the thunderbird at all then, unless you were deliberately
trying to confuse me, which I do not think is at all in keeping with the
spirit of reconciliation. ANd you are saying that the bear IS a totem of
love? I find this very perplexing. Your culture seems strange and alien to
me. However, let us not dwell on our differences. Like you, my people have
also suffered under centuries of white oppression during which we forgot our
heritage and native crafts. I think it is admirable that you work so hard
to keep your culture alive and in the present.

In my culture, we do not differentiate between Mrs. and Ms. so I apologize
for making this error.

I was trained in the cinematic and theatrical arts at Trinity University and
I do not think my mentor would approve of your flippant tone! He taught us
that true inspiration comes from within and should not be diluted by outside
research, so you see why it is unacceptable to do research prior to writing
a review.

Huggles! ^______^

The New Meat

I mentioned the thunderbird because the bear is part of thunderbird totem pole. A Totem pole consists of many totemic creatures. On some thunderbird totem poles from top to bottom this is the order, Thunderbird, Bear, and than the Whale. When you are looking at the totem bear, you can't think of a bear itself, but think of it as more of a symbol. All cultures usually ,seem strange to other cultures.

Without outside research you may be creating stereotypes yourself.

Oh and I honosltly wouldn't care what your mentor would think, I find it really pointless to spend time wondering what others think of you, or even caring what others think.

Dear Mrs. Cooper,

So, if the bear is indeed a totem of love, I will forward a notice of this
change of situation to our administrator so that he can begin the petition
process to our constituents in the CYD listing. Once this process is
completed, I will see if it meets our needs to ammend the site from the
bottom.

However, I warn you that but by insulting my mentor's teaching ability, you
have gravely insulted a great man. He was trained in the world famous city
of London, well known for its stage and theatrical productions.

Huggles! ^______^

The New Meat

I think of no one as a great man, and I never will. I'm sick and tired of people who think they're above everyone else, and that everyone should respect them. I'm also tired of people who don't do any work themselves, like you not researching things before you wrote. That is what creates stereotypes. The creators of Brother Bear researched Inuits, they did their research but you didn't do yours. Maybe you should try picking up a book and reading it some time. You judge people before even trying to learn about their culture. You're like the people who think we live in igloos (people who do no research and assume everything)

Dear Mrs. Cooper,

Your unkind words shock me deeply. I have already explained that research
is an unacceptable tool under the teachings of my London professor. Today
he is the head of the London Theatrical Works and also a knight in her
majesty's royal order. He did not get there by doing research, but rather
by following the dictates of the mind. The mind communicates through an
unknowable system of synapses which are fired during dreams not waking
research. My people call this a vision quest. When you receive such a quest
you must not dally but must write it down immediately lest it be forgotten.
Thus researching these questions can never achieve the full result.

I know that your people never lived in igloos. That is an urban legend
propogated by the dominant paradigm.

Huggles ^______^

The New Meat

I don't care about your stupid ways, but once you start creating stereotypes about my culture, it makes me angry, because you don't do any research. It's not that its part of your teaching, IT'S BECAUSE YOUR LAZY! You have absolutely no idea what the Inuit culture is like, or was like, so you create stereotypes yourself.

Dear Mrs. Cooper,

It is a very rude person indeed who believes their culture merits
consideration but who belittles that of other peoples as "stupid ways."
Perhaps it is not I who needs to learn more about eskimo culture but you,
since I very much doubt that rudeness is a quality much valued by your
forebearers. If I am incorrect in this assumption then I apologize but my
latest quest has indicated that this is not the case. I have communicated
with my mentor to ask his advice on this new situation, and he has strongly
cautioned against beginning down the path of scholarly research, since this
is a tool more suited to those in academia and the sciences than to those
engaged in pursuits of the mind. He has also expressed curiosity as to
whether there are as has been said actually 100 words in the eskimo language
for snow, but I informed him that this too is an urban legend born of the
dominant paradigm.

Also, I feel I must call your attention to the fact that you indeed partake
in the same assumptions that you accuse me of: for while I assumed you to be
a man, you assumed me to be a" kid" in a previous email when I am, in
actuality, 37 years old.

Huggles! ^______^

The New Meat

Now how would you know about Urban Legends without reading it in a book, or seeing it on the internet, or just hearing it from someone. You need to learn more about the Inuit culture before you create stereotypes for us. I find creating stereotypes very rude, so indeed it is you that has been rude, not I. My forebeares did not have to deal with so much stereotypes, we were at least respected by many people. People who would learn about our culture before judging us. The Russians took advantage of us, and destroyed many of our traditions. It's very sad, that you can't seem to think for yourself. Your quest as you call it, is not a quest of your own. It seems you do not have a mind of your own, but a mind of your mentor. Eskimo language? There is no such thing as "Eskimo language". Perhaps if you would have known more about my culture you would have known that we speak different dialects, and have different forms of our language. Depressing as it is for me, my culture's language is dieing.
I did not assume you to be a "kid". However, you're assuming what I assume, but I assume nothing. The reason I e-mailed you in the first place was because I wanted you to understand a culture before you write about it. But I see you are one that does not like to change their opinions or way of thoughts, as am I. My culture is different from yours, and I believe in research and studying so that I can understand another's culture. I only wanted you to seek that same understanding of another's culture, so that these stereotypes do not continue to be made. Good day,
SC

Daer mrs cooper,As you deny your past assumption, you posit an alternative
past that did not happen. This, combined with the facts obtained during my
most recent quest, cause me to doubt the veracity of your claims to be an
eskimo, since I have it on good authority that prevarication is not an
endemic trait to your peoples. Although I informed my nentor that he was
mistaken in his belief that Eskimos have 100 words for snow, you took
offense to this. Was I then incorrect? I find it more plausible than your
preposterous claim that eskimos do not have the ability to speak. This
further speaks to your fibbing. In this case, why do you claim to be an
eskimo? Whatever your true identit is, you should not be ashamed of it, for
every culture and tradition has its own ricjness not just Eskimos. I await
an appropriate apology for your legacy of fibs.

Huggles! ^______^

The New Meat

You question my statement of being an Inuit? That's too bad because I am part Inuit and Athabascan on my dad's side. You seem to think all Inuits are alike. By the way are you able to read, or do you just like twisting and revising people’s words. I never said that Inuits do not have the ability to speak, I had said exactly “There is no such thing as "Eskimo language". Perhaps if you would have known more about my culture you would have known that we speak different dialects, and have different forms of our language.” Apparently you couldn’t understand this, but it means that we speak different dialects, though most of us now speak English. When I had said that our language is dieing, I meant that barely any of us speak our original language. I also doubt that you are anywhere near 37, or at least you don’t act like an adult. Do you know why I claim to be an Eskimo/Inuit, it is because I am, and I am not afraid of others who mock my culture or my people. I don’t hide my ancestor’s past traditions. Where I live there are kids who make Eskimo jokes, which I hate, but at least I stand up for my people. I am Inuit by blood, but I am also Inuit by soul. I have not fibbed, as you claim. Though I may not live in Canada or Alaska now, I still have faith in the preservation of my culture. (By the way you don’t ever read over your own reading do you? You should check your spelling.) Oh and you say you gathered facts in your most recent quest, then may I say congratulations you have just done some research.

I'm glad that you were able to admit that you are in fact Athabascan. There
is no shame in being Greek. I accept your apology and am glad that we could
end this discussion on an amiable note.

Huggles! ^____^

The New Meat

You are in fact weird, and you sure do like to change people's words. I never apologized for anything. You should be the one apologying for lying. In case you didn't know, Athabascan is not Greek.

On the other; see this is why you people should make me a mod, at least to give me the power to exercise my grammer-fagosity to proofread these articles.

I don't mean to be anal, but as a fan of the Divine Comedy I must point out that according to Dante, within the ninth and inner most circle of hell lies the frozen river of Cocytus in which Satan himself resides frozen in the river up to his torso. The flapping of his wings causes the river to freeze even harder and it is this realm where the treacherous meet their fate to be forever frozen in Cocytus. Therefore to say "a cold day in hell" is fallacious.

Which means that Skunkfuckers should be a mod. :)

Actually, you've missed the biggest mistake of all! As a helpful eskimo pointed out to me:

DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY CULTURE LIKE THAT! Who gives you the right to say such crap, when you no nothing yourself about the INUIT culture. You know nothing of the totem bear, so you have no right to criticize it. You should study things before judging them. Oh and by the way most of us Inuits are Christians. I think the only stereotypes are comming from you.

DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY CULTURE LIKE THAT! Who gives you the right to say such crap, when you no nothing yourself about the INUIT culture. You know nothing of the totem bear, so you have no right to criticize it. You should study things before judging them. Oh and by the way most of us Inuits are Christians. I think the only stereotypes are comming from you.

<many, many rambling emails about -- "blah blah blah, you shouldn't judge other people like I'm judging you by writing about how movies suck and your culture is dumb and you should call people's cultures dumb and you're an infantile kid you big, dumb, stupid doo-doo head and try cracking a book to find out how great eskimo culture is because you were stereotyping when you talked about the stereotypes in a Disney movie and I'm like the eskimo Kimmaugh and hey, wait are you screwing with me or do I like beating my head against a wall to make myself feel better by insulting someone who insults others to make themselves feel better and why am I persisting with this because I am a glutton for suffering or because I realized you're just yanking my chain too late to save face and now have to yell louder at you to cover up the fact that I've been had>

GET OVER YOURSELF

Temptation brings out the beast in (hu)man. Those kids were tempted into making a deal with temptation, it of course tempted them by saying no consiquences for it, do whatever you want. They made a deal with evil (ie, made a deal with the devil symbolism) and as a result became beasts of burden.

If brother bear came out twenty years ago, I doubt anyone would have had a problem with it. Now however, everyone has a fit over it, saying that it's a furry movie just because of certain elements it uses (elements fairy tales have used for centuries). In my opinion, if people would just calm down and accept the movie as what it is and stops trying to nitpick it using standards based on something it isn't; they'd probbaly enjoy the movie and could have a lot of interesting intelligent conversations about it.