Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Sandstar1 · Qualificator Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Posts: 7

I read the first issue of ASB when I was hard core furry (well, I was never Hard Core. How about Harder Core then I am now), and even then I knew it was crap. Some guy goes to school, the only dorm open is the gay dorm, he can't even go one night without masterbating, and suddenly, by the end of the comic he's gay? WTF?

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

It's just dull, bland and severely uninteresting. And also, i prefer cat over rooster.

Most of the college comics suck ass, the class menagerie for example. Nothing worth even minor interest.

Sixtail · Qualificator Joined: 30 Aug 2004 Posts: 30

It's not worth a write up. From all the artists i've talked to, to even some of the biggest gay-rights people I know in furry, all agree.

"It's a fap book. Not to be taken seriously in any shape or form"

Not really worth a write up other then what would happen IRL to the crew.

Like Ricky would have been killed and dumped in some pit somewhere or caught every form of STD on Earth and died a horrid death.

That's about it.

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

But huzzah... ya can now read it in russian! =)

http://dimonius.yiff.ru/asb/

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

The only good thing was that I bought the comic (on a whim), the whole set, for $21 from Mailbox Books, er, I mean Rabbit Valley... looked at it, threw it in a box out of disgust... let it sit three years - and sold for $150. :twisted:

Donotsue · Vociferator Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Posts: 666

And ya never once oogled at that coon boi?? >=) Manwhore issa funny word..=D
I dinna like much else but Smith's art in it...

*Dirt alert*
http://dimonius.yiff.ru/asb/comix.php?i=2&p=25

bobby · Prattler Joined: 27 Oct 2003 Posts: 104

The failure that is Lance Rund might be worth a mention, though. He's a stereotypical enigma, all the way to buying a Goldenwolf painting for over ten thousand dollars at FC 2004.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

I dinna like much else but Smith's art in it...

The whole "zoom in to the reflection of cock in the coon's eyes" is priceless. It has a kind of ghey similarity to the Spider-Man 2 movie poster.

Doc Cock?

Where does a furry get ten thousand dollars to spend on anything, let alone on furry crap?

Having never seen more than one page of this, I can now say that all of my speculations on the comic are confirmed, and that I have to agree this is a spank mag. Anyone suggesting this is intended to further understanding and gay rights should be whacked upside the head with a Hillshire Farms summer sausage or a frozen swordfish fillet.

Seven pages in and we have our first ass shot. Apparently, not only does being gay mean you're innately stylish and very clean, but have no subtlety as well.

And we have our first look at the foppish coon.. killing gay rights softly with his song.

In the Ghey College universe, the moon does not actually wax and wane because of the Earth's shadow, but actually fades in and out of existence like some magically regrowing cookie... as we see by the star that can be seen throught where the moon would normally be.

I'm sure Bill Watterson and Warner Brothers would giggle with glee at seeing their creations appear in this comic.. which I assume was sold, correct?

When sexually molested by a stranger, the typical response, contrary to what Court TV would have you believe, is not to seek legal prosecution, but to go jack off.

The whole thing... even without being able to read the text (for which I'm glad)... reminds me of the Futurama episode where Fry is sentenced to the robot asylum and is so inundated with people telling him he's a robot that he eventually believes it. I can't speak for others, since I'm not gay, but I would almost think that this kind of glib and somewhat flamboyant depiction of someone going from.... at least sexually uncertain.... to gay over a few days would be kind of insulting for anyone that had to grapple with their sexuality, rather than simply being prison gay.

Even if you're open to experimenting, I would think strangers molesting you in the bathroom, in the shower, and a constant barrage of swats on the ass would have you about ready to take a 2x4 to the next person that decides the concept of "personal space" is simply the turnstyle you have to jump over to treat your body like an amusement park attraction.

Paul · Vociferator Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 551

I dinna like much else but Smith's art in it...

The whole "zoom in to the reflection of cock in the coon's eyes" is priceless.

True, true. That sequence made me laugh my butt off. And it made me read on for some more pages, expecting more unintended hilarity, but no such luck. Really, that comic sucks.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

True, true. That sequence made me laugh my butt off. And it made me read on for some more pages, expecting more unintended hilarity, but no such luck. Really, that comic sucks.

I did likewise... the comic simply persists in totally ignoring how things would have likely played out in the real world.

In Ghey College universe, there is no such thing as campus police.

See this is why ghey is the way! Girls are too dumb to feel violated that someone was watching them and masturbating outside their window. Silly breeders!

It's like...... a gay attempt at Animal House or something. Although, it looks like the third comic attempts to be all.. ooh.. dramatic and stuff with a little gay bashing episode. I guess it's kind of like trying to make a porno legitimate by splicing in clips from Law & Order between money shots.

Looking at the Halloween thing, in a way, ASB kind of makes sense if you don't think of it as a comic about gay furries in college.. but as a comic about gay furries in college who don't have an ounce of self respect.:)

Also, apparently, the breeder girl can't hold onto her novelty oversized pencil because of her shockingly huge hand. College is also apparently a place where one cannot walk from point A to point B without leaving a trail of books and papers dancing on the wind.. nor is it a place where one can ever use a copier without incident.

Silly me.. I always carried a back pack and managed to copy things without turning the Xerox machine into a cannon. Guess that's what you miss out on when your college experience isn't filled with visions of "sugar plums" dancing in your head.

Get it.. sugar plums... the look kinda like bal- Oh fuckit...

weird_guy_in_the_corner · Venter Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 258

I am so sick of seeing males with muscular, toned bodies and bulging packages that I could beat somebody to death.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Well, we are talking about the realm of fantasy here.. fantasy focusing on things furry fanboys can't be. They can't be real anthros, and they can't be buff. So, they have to do both in pen and ink.

Looking this thing over, it is soooooo asking for an MST3K. If only I had the time to waste on it.

Deciding to push on through the issues, I think one of the most comical bits comes from the "Letters to the Editor"-type page.

Readers: The story's predictable. We knew that (homophobia, heterosexual temptation, parental issues, etc.) ere coming!

ASB Staff: Good! That means the story makes sense, is relevant, and is plausible. ASB isn't about space alien abductions, government conspiracies, or falling anvils. ASB is intended to be an only-somewhat-distorted mirror of the kinds of issues that gay people in the real world contend with.

Good grief! Are they so busy polishing their knobs that they actually believe their own press? Lion boi goes to college. Lion boi gets put in primarily gay dorm. Lion boi starts sucking cock within his first week of college. Lion boi exhibits no real trials and tribulations with issues of sexual identity. Lion boi rides lion biker man's shoulders in pride parade while looking like he's been whisked away to some magical fairy land (no pun intended) like he's Charlie and the Cock Factory. Yeah.... that only slightly removed from what many gay people experience in coming to terms with their sexuality.

Hell.... if most straight people had their sexual issues resolved so easily and glibly, psychiatrists would be scrimping to make payments on their Jaguars. The more I look at it, the more ASB looks like a wank version of Stimpy's Explodey the Cat. Or, better yet, it's kind of the Love Boat approach to gender orientation crises.

I can't wait for the Entangled Student Bodies final installment, where we see how each of them has become jobless bums living in a communal house in California as photo-booth attendants, minimum-wage data entry clerks, and dirt-poor furry cartoonists because they all flunked out of college because they spent more time masturbating outside each others windows than actually studying.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Lion boi goes to college. Lion boi gets put in primarily gay dorm. Lion boi starts sucking cock within his first week of college.

Well, lion boi was already gay to begin with. Just look at his hair!

I can't wait for the Entangled Student Bodies final installment, where we see how each of them has become jobless bums living in a communal house in California as photo-booth attendants, minimum-wage data entry clerks, and dirt-poor furry cartoonists because they all flunked out of college because they spent more time masturbating outside each others windows than actually studying.

And most of them die of furry AIDS in touchingly poigniant scenes, while a few get their own trendy TV series. The main character gay-marries the one boi that's his true love, and they adopt. The end. Except the kid they adopt grows up to be gay, laying the foundation for ASB: The Next Generation :twisted:

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Except the kid they adopt grows up to be gay, laying the foundation for ASB: The Next Generation :twisted:

That's it. You're officially out of the pool. Git! Git off my land! Git off my soil!

Paul · Vociferator Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 551

I can't wait for the Entangled Student Bodies final installment, where we see how each of them has become jobless bums living in a communal house in California as photo-booth attendants, minimum-wage data entry clerks, and dirt-poor furry cartoonists because they all flunked out of college because they spent more time masturbating outside each others windows than actually studying.

And most of them die of furry AIDS in touchingly poigniant scenes, while a few get their own trendy TV series. The main character gay-marries the one boi that's his true love, and they adopt. The end. Except the kid they adopt grows up to be gay, laying the foundation for ASB: The Next Generation :twisted:

Aaaah! Stop giving whoever writes ASB ideas! (Where's the "looks frightened" icon?)

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 180

Also, apparently, the breeder girl can't hold onto her novelty oversized pencil because of her shockingly huge hand.

This comment made me laugh myself into a fit of raspy coughing, but then again I've got some demon cold that will never go away, so..

I also just found this review of ASB that everyone else may have seen, but I got a few chuckles out of it. Its from the same webpage as the furry hater sterotypes that I found in some other thread here.

Yay insomnia..

Dr. Mojo · Prattler Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 180

I never did get that "The Lion Queen" comic til now. :(

BeanBall · Apocrisiary Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 44

One thing I don't get is this whole gay Dorm thing.

Do American colleges really have dorms just for gay students?

If yes then no matter why it's problematic IMO. If they're forcing gay students into them, the word segregation comes to mind. If they're giving them a dorm, that's favoritism. Either way, it seems to go against the whole idealology of the USA that all men (and women) are created equal. Why would a person's sexual orientation even be on a college application? What does that have to do with academic merit anyway?

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 314

Blah blah gay shit

Ohlawd.

When I was in college, would you like to know the statisticts of the students?
THere were roughly 200 students in my coolege, all grades. Of those, probably 70 were male.

Of those 70 male students, I recall counting FIVE that were straight.

As for the females, most of them were bi-sexual.

But then again, I went to an art school... And as I've found the artistic community (NOT the furry art community only, because they're certinly NOT) in general is very accepting and open minded.

RailFoxen · Venter Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 251

Engineering students have no time for loooooove.

And no. There are no gay dorms. All male/all female dorms, built in the late 1800s, with only one bathroom per floor. But no gay dorms. Furry wank fantasy.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

Engineering students have no time for loooooove.

But all the time to get plastered. At least in Finlandia. Oh how I miss those heavy drinking Bukowski weeks.

Wait.. I'm having one now.

Stoneth · Vociferator Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 545

There'd be no such thing as a gay dorm because that's segregation.

ASB never was intended to be a realistic portrail of a young man coming to terms with sexual orientation in college. It was a wankfest pretending to be something deeper arround the last few issues. "Venereal disease? What does that mean?"

Dr. Mojo · Prattler Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 180

Venereal diseases don't exist in furrydom. That's a hyooman thing.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Venereal diseases don't exist in furrydom. That's a hyooman thing.

I'm sorry to inform you, but "Hoof and Mouth Disease" is most likely rampant within the fandom.

Stoneth · Vociferator Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 545

Venereal diseases don't exist in furrydom. That's a hyooman thing.

Actually, that's not entirely true. There's a furry comic called "Circles" which focuses on six gay men living in an appartment complex and one of the characters (Paulie) is HIV positive.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

There's a furry comic...is HIV positive.

Shouldn't that be HIV Possum?

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1030

Engineering students have no time for loooooove.

And no. There are no gay dorms. All male/all female dorms, built in the late 1800s, with only one bathroom per floor.

I go to community school... WTF is a dorm ? =>

I used to think I was missing out on something by kicking around my hometown and going to school locally... not getting that whole college dorm, away from home, experience. Then I realized I can do whatever I want at home, and its the kids that go away to school that are missing out on ...say driving to school in thier own car and deciding right before pulling into the parking lot; "fuck it" and going to the mall/bar/whatever instead :)

RailFoxen · Venter Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 251

Most students have their own apartments, y'know. But there are the dorms on campus, where they overcharge you for shit service and refuse to let you keep a toaster, thus helping you rely on their shit overpriced meal service. But, that aside.

Yes. Plenty of booze for engineering students. And, good Christ, we need all we can get.

HIV exists only as a plot device. Tension. 'Bobby might have HIV... if he does, then... oh no!' And a big cliffhanger as they wait for the results. And while the supporting character is diagnosed positive, the main character is somehow clean, but has to give his HIV-positive friend all the emotional support and blah blah blah author self-insertion look at what a great guy he is.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Actually, there are places where the gay students shack up together. They're called fraternity houses. :D (Not really, Beanball.)

As for the females, most of them were bi-sexual.

B.U.G.s. Bi-sexual Until Graduation. - n. - A term applied to the phenomenon where girls go off to college and experiment with each other, claiming to be bi or lesbian. Upon graduation, this status is usually revoked as the subject - having received her degree - then sets about attaining the next level in her life progression: a rich, good-looking doctor or lawyer.

But then again, I went to an art school... And as I've found the artistic community (NOT the furry art community only, because they're certinly NOT) in general is very accepting and open minded.

Probably moreso at an art college where the fine artists intermingle with the evil commercial artists. At my junior college where I was an art major, there was little love lost on those of us who wanted to do art in a commercial capacity, rather than peddling our paintings at the community craft fair or out in front of Starbucks. :)

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 314

blah blah intelligent crap

Hahaha, yeah, that's how my husband thought I was, until he got me drink and I screwed the hell out of my best friend in the pool. :D