Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

"By and large, the furry community is bi and large." - Steelcat, from the PoE forums

I remember reading this a while back, and it's been one of my favorite quotes since. I've always thought it would make an awesome addition to the random quotes that appear on the front page :twisted:

BTW; is there a list of the quotes we currentlty have? It sucks having to refreash just to see them all, not to mention it must not be good for CYD's bandwith.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Meh. It's cute.

Mitch most likely has a textfile he parses (or a DB if he's as insane as I am)

<?php
function excuse($excusefile="excuses.txt") {
if (!$excuses = @file($excusefile))
return "Err: '$excusefile' missing!";
return $excuses[mt_rand(0, count($excuses)-1)];
}

echo excuse($excusefile);
?>

Xarai · Apocrisiary Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 44

PHP Bad.

#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
use warnings;

sub excuse
{
open EXCUSES, shift || 'excuses.txt' or die "Excuse file missing";
my @excuses = <EXCUSES>; chomp @excuses;
close EXCUSES;
return $excuses[rand @excuses];
}

print excuse;

Mitch · Vociferator Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Posts: 473

"By and large, the furry community is bi and large." - Steelcat, from the PoE forums

I remember reading this a while back, and it's been one of my favorite quotes since. I've always thought it would make an awesome addition to the random quotes that appear on the front page :twisted:

BTW; is there a list of the quotes we currentlty have? It sucks having to refreash just to see them all, not to mention it must not be good for CYD's bandwith.

CLICKY

ARGLE BARGLE BLORF

Yech

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

As a disclaimer, I should probably mention that Steelcat is neither a furry nor a ''fan of anthropomorphism''. She's just a regular PoE poster, and I wouldn't want to erroneously cast such aspersions on an innocent young woman.

CLICKY

Thanks. What's awesome about some of those quotes is that they make you wonder which side of the fence the person is on, especially if you don't know who they are.

This one is sage advice, but it'd be better if Xydexx would heed his own words:

"Stop taking the internet so seriously, dude." - Xydexx

This one is so true, I at first thought it was from a furry caught in the grips of (rarely seen) refreshing honesty:

"Those critical of Furry shall be held to a different standard than those who are not critical of Furry."

I still can't tell if this person is talking about us, or the furries:

"The best thing to do with these folks is to pity them, and keep an eye on them" - Simo

and finally, one that sounds like it should be our site motto :twisted: :

"WE WHO ARE ABOUT TO YIFF FELLATE YOU!"

Jiffers · Qualificator Joined: 12 Mar 2004 Posts: 10

"By and large, the furry community is bi and large." - Steelcat, from the PoE forums

And I always attributed that statement to Eric Blumrich.

RailFoxen · Venter Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 251

And where the frag is 'we're highbrow furry website'?

Banrai · Vociferator Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 314

"The puking raccoon is like a beacon of love" -- Ike

Because he just said that to me when I showed him teh page. It should go on the frontpage. :X

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

putting the random quote at the bottom of the page makes it pretty hard to notice.

Jiffers · Qualificator Joined: 12 Mar 2004 Posts: 10

putting the random quote at the bottom of the page makes it pretty hard to notice.

The random quote on slashdot.org is at the bottom of the page...

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

The random quote on slashdot.org is at the bottom of the page...

...people read that dreck? I figured they just sat around and dreamed of talking to girls, and the eventuality of moving within their own power... scarfing cheetos, and exploiting all the joys of lunix as an operating systuhm.

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

i was going to say that this site isn't slashdot just like it isn't SA, but Rankin's reply was good too.

SquareMoogle · Venter Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 238

People read Slashdot!? It isn't some huge joke trying to display the lowest levels of humanity? :(

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

People read Slashdot!? It isn't some huge joke trying to display the lowest levels of humanity? :(

No, that's Cub Central. Slashdot is for the people who jerk off on their CPU to get an extra 1.25 jiggawhats.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

There was a favorite hominid development poll and noticed most people (56%) had voted breasts instead of opposable thumbs (12%). :roll:

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Of course, without opposeable thumbs, playing with breasts just isn't the same.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

Also, breasts aren't only a human quality.

Furry boobz...
http://www.hedweb.com/gorilfam.jpg

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

Of course, without opposeable thumbs, playing with breasts just isn't the same.

When I read that, this story came to mind.

Also, breasts aren't only a human quality.

Furry boobz...
http://www.hedweb.com/gorilfam.jpg

And, apparently, I'm not the only one with that same train of thought.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

NMy personal favorate adage (why? Because I made it up - but it's been stated many times before): Furry is the common bond between the socially, and mentally retarded.

Dr. Mojo · Prattler Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 180

I've been told that most furries absolutely will not allow ape-based furry characters because they're too human or something. I don't understand. :(

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

I've been told that most furries absolutely will not allow ape-based furry characters because they're too human or something. I don't understand. :(

I've seen a few nods to monkies here and there, but very few. Mostly they're inspired by love of Jonen Vasquez' representation of them as harbingers of teh MADNESS, or their wacky antisocial poo-flinging antics.

I can count on one hand how many pieces of fanart I've seen of Ari from Planet of the Apes, and those were porn that, despite being actually well done, didn't seem to strike a chord with too many furries. NOW, if the movie had been Planet of Any-other-animal-besides-apes, it would have been like the furry version of what Schindler's List is for Jews, or Passion of the Christ is for Christians (billed as a religious experiance, something every. Christian. Must see.)

EDIT: I think Ari is actualy kind of cute, myself. I don't think I can be faulted for that, now can I?

Dr. Mojo · Prattler Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 180

I also noted to Banrai that I don't see many bears, either. Bears are awesome. Then she showed me a picture of a bear fursuiter who looked suspiciously like the bear from the most recent Christmas episode of South Park with the overbite and everything.

Edit: Oh, I thought you meant the old Planet of the Apes. Was Ari even in that one? I've only seen it once.

Skunkfuckers Inc. · Needs to get out more Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 980

I also noted to Banrai that I don't see many bears, either. Bears are awesome. Then she showed me a picture of a bear fursuiter who looked suspiciously like the bear from the most recent Christmas episode of South Park with the overbite and everything.

Well, there's Polar (aka Jeremy Mullins), and.. Brentos on VCL (who've you've probably never heard of -I'm just picking these of the top of my head). There's that guy who does horrific Care Bear porn, and, um... I know of one other.

UrsulaV doesn't count, though.

Edit: Oh, I thought you meant the old Planet of the Apes. Was Ari even in that one? I've only seen it once.

Now that's too old school for furries. Don't know if she was or not, though I don't think so.

Stoneth · Vociferator Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 545

In the original PotA movie, Zira was the character that filled the role that Ari does in the remake (complete with a kiss from the human). I don't recall seeing any adult pictures of Ari, but then again I don't go about looking for that kind of stuff (although Ari is kinda cute).

Oh and Dr. Mojo, I have seen a few bears, but mostly in the form of Brother Bear fanart. And guess what they depict the main characters doing. Of course, there is also *shudder* Plushie Schwartz.

AngryPuritan · Vociferator Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Posts: 399

NOW, if the movie had been Planet of Any-other-animal-besides-apes, it would have been like the furry version of what Schindler's List is for Jews, or Passion of the Christ is for Christians (billed as a religious experiance, something every. Christian. Must see.)

Can we chalk that up as brilliant foresight on the side of the original writers?

Dr. Mojo · Prattler Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 180

Edit: Oh, I thought you meant the old Planet of the Apes. Was Ari even in that one? I've only seen it once.

Now that's too old school for furries. Don't know if she was or not, though I don't think so.

I have a tendency to think of old movies before thinking of the remakes because I love old movies. My friends and I watched Rosemary's Baby the other day; I loved it, they hated it. Fags.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

Ari always reminded me of Markie Post. Oddly enough, the only lewd pictures I've seen of her have been on anime repositories like Wakachan.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Why don't we just add another table to the db, as follows:

CREATE TABLE `frontpage_quotes` (
`id` int(5) NOT NULL auto_increment,
`quote` blob NOT NULL default 'There should be a quote here',
`attributedto` varchar(200) default NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (`id`)
)

Then we can just make a silly little subroutine for it like:

<?php
function randomQuote($dbName="frontpage_quotes", $dbQuote="quote", $dbAttribute="atttributedto", $mysqlLocalConnect=FALSE, $mysqlHost="localhost", $mysqlUser="", $mysqlPass="") {
if($mysqlLocalConnect) {
$localLink = mysql_connect('$mysqlHost', '$mysqlUser', '$mysqlPass');
if (!$localLink)
die('Could not connect to quotes database, err:' . mysql_error());
}
mysql_query("SELECT '$dbQuote', '$dbAttribute' FROM '$dbName' ORDER by rand() LIMIT 1");
$quoteString = "" " . nl2br("$dbQuote");
if (isset($dbAttribute)) ? $quoteString .= ""<br><small> - $attribute</small>" : $quoteString .= """;
return($quoteString);
}
?>

And just put:

echo randomQuote();

somewhere in the header, after including this - of course, it assumes that mysqlUser, mysqlPass, mysqlHost are all globals, which is bad. That's just for an example. You don't want to use that bit. Just do your DB connection earlier.

If you want to use a different DB with the same schema, just call as:

echo randomQuote("DBNAME", "QUOTETABLENAME", "ATTRIBUTEDLOSERNAME");

If on an external server, or something strange:

echo randomQuote("DBNAME", "QUOTETABLENAME", "ATTRIBUTEDLOSERNAME", TRUE, "MYSQLHOST", "MYSQLUSER", "MYSQLPASS");

It'll be less textfuxxoring and bullshit includes/parsing since you're already using the tables, and adding an administrative interface would be simple as hell. ...I'm bored, OK? Christ, talk about useless feature bloat.

doubtingwolf · Rasophore Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 57

I have a tendency to think of old movies before thinking of the remakes because I love old movies.

Well, that and most old movies (especially ones which sparked off a series) tend to be better than the remakes, part II, part III, part XI...

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1514

Well, that and most old movies (especially ones which sparked off a series) tend to be better than the remakes, part II, part III, part XI...

Oh, COME NOW! LEONARD PART SIX WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL! NOOB!

Octan · Qualificator Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 10

NOW, if the movie had been Planet of Any-other-animal-besides-apes, it would have been like the furry version of what Schindler's List is for Jews, or Passion of the Christ is for Christians

Oh, there WILL be such a film, eventually. You'll see. There are enough furries with enough talent and enough opportunity to find one another that sooner or later they'll all come together and make The Ultimate Furry Movie.

...Until then they'll have to content themselves with "Brother Bear." :P

Dr. Dos · Venter Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 244

I doubt it.

Furries with true talent either escape to the safety of the rest of the world or dive into the shallow end of the furry pool and crack their skulls causing serious damage which makes them draw porn.

doubtingwolf · Rasophore Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 57

I doubt it.

I have to agree. If furries were capable of organizing for more than a collective wank session they would have already done it.

Furry movie? I doubt it!