Crush...Yiff...Destroy!

IceCat · Venter Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 244

Just in case anyone want's to know what the hell is about to go wrong at the next CaliFur.

See Here:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/westcoastfurs/

And read on...

Yep that's right they are bringing back the "Pet Auction", one of the more infamous events from ConFurence, Seems only a year goes by for CF to be dead and buried, and CaliFur, well what do you know about tha another CF horrifining is'nt it.
Seems Merlino and company are going to repete the horrors of the past ala CF8.

Right now they are looking for voulenteers to run the "Pet Auction", amoung other things, I'm sure they'll find some suckers to do so.
Later

IceCat

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 183

The Pet Auctions were, if you just admit furry is a sinking ship of horrors, one of the higlights of how wacky things are.

One of the saddest things i've ever seen in my life was at a pet auction, I am going to guess CF9. They had all the usual suspects up there, dancing around, and in the course of the auction it was becoming a joke for someone on the sound crew to shout out "two dollars!" from the far corner as an opening bid. Of course the more yifftastic ones got auctioned off for way more, but near the end of the auction some guy climbed up there and stood on the stage, staring hopefully out at the audience. He told the auctioneer that he would do "anything at all" asked of him by his winning purchaser. The sound crew shouted "two dollars!" and then asked if he would be willing to carry all their gear into the truck if they won him.

They wound up winning him for $2, and this poor scary basement troll who thought he was going upstairs with some beneveloent winning bidder actually wound up lugging all the sound gear out to their truck.

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

Story time! Story time!

They wound up winning him for $2, and this poor scary basement troll who thought he was going upstairs with some beneveloent winning bidder actually wound up lugging all the sound gear out to their truck.

Seriously though, that story is The Win. Sexy Moogle, only 2 bucks.

GoManVanGogh · Vociferator Joined: 18 Nov 2003 Posts: 659

That's nothing. Wait'll they schedule a "Cub Auction"! It's just a matter of time...

Stoneth · Needs to get out more Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 1225

That's nothing. Wait'll they schedule a "Cub Auction"! It's just a matter of time...

Wait... would that mean auctioning off actual "cubs" or the countless furries who think they are? I don't know which would be scarier.

Rankin · TOP POSTER! Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 1659

Wait... would that mean auctioning off actual "cubs" or the countless furries who think they are? I don't know which would be scarier.

Cunsidering what they'd do with either? It's still illegal, if not immoral by most practicing religions.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

They wound up winning him for $2, and this poor scary basement troll who thought he was going upstairs with some beneveloent winning bidder actually wound up lugging all the sound gear out to their truck.

I CROWN YOU T3H KING!

Sibirskaya · Qualificator Joined: 05 Jun 2004 Posts: 2

So, I've never heard of a "pet auction" before, but I'm getting the idea that it's some kind of demented furry orifice market. Am I correct? And if I am, would someone please explain WHY, GOD, WHY?!

Michael Hirtes · Needs to get out more Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 820

So, I've never heard of a "pet auction" before, but I'm getting the idea that it's some kind of demented furry orifice market. Am I correct? And if I am, would someone please explain WHY, GOD, WHY?!

Why? Because Mark Merlino's a clueless fuck. That's why.

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 183

So, I've never heard of a "pet auction" before, but I'm getting the idea that it's some kind of demented furry orifice market. Am I correct? And if I am, would someone please explain WHY, GOD, WHY?!

Its pretty silly really... Hang on I need a few shots of fine Canadian Whisky before I get into this.....

Whooooo. okay.

Basically, imagine a large banquet room in a hotel. A stage is set up, and a whole bunch of cheap church chairs all face the stage. The chairs are usually all filled, containing a wide array of furry fanboys. A large percentage of them have either fishing hats or vests completely covered with pins and badges with a furry theme. Most are overweight. They range in age from about 17 to about 60, with a median I would guess around 35. Many have thick glasses and threadbare clothes that don't fit very well. A few are in fursuits or partial fursuits.

The master of ceremonies (MC) is on the stage. He has a microphone and probably some kind of geeky fashion look to him. Maybe he has a long leather coat and a snazzy fedora, but since he is pasty white it looks kind of goofy. If he doesn't have a fedora, he's got long straight hair that is balding on the top.

He introduces himself to the audience and gets them riled up with various geeky jokes or whatever, and tells them about whichever charity will get the proceeds of the auction. I think there is some unwritten rule that this has to go to Wolfpark, which is an "educational" petting-zoo-like facility in Indiana which has wolves in it. (dur) This park is like furry mecca. I still have never been though.

Then the MC brings out the "pets." These are people that are being auctioned off to the audience. They might be as minor as charity-minded artists willing to draw whatever you want all the way up to guys or gals in leotards or thongs (and nothing else) who prance around the stage, showing off how flexible they are.

The audience gets REALLY exicted at the latter, and I do believe that the infamous Silfur got raffled off for several hundreds of dollars. It's about as close as you will get to finding legalized prostitution in certain states.

As you can tell, its not somewhere you take your devoutly religious grandmother or impressionable young neice.

Gargoyle · Vociferator Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 455

The audience gets REALLY exicted at the latter, and I do believe that the infamous Silfur

Who?

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 183

The audience gets REALLY exicted at the latter, and I do believe that the infamous Silfur

Who?

http://www.visi.com/~phantos/images/conpics_full/fc01m.jpg

http://www.crittersbythebay.com/gallery/images/kartsngolf/Silfur1.jpg

:(

Note: Apparantly from the google image search, it also means something very random in Icelandic.

SquareMoogle · Vociferator Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 357

I'd hit that! *BLÖRF*

The New Meat · Needs to get out more Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 933

Note: Apparantly from the google image search, it also means something very random in Icelandic.

My Icelandic is kinda rusty by virtue of having never had it in the first place, but I think silfur might mean silver.

SLaitila · Vociferator Joined: 03 Jun 2003 Posts: 490

http://www.visi.com/~phantos/images/conpics_full/fc01m.jpg

http://www.crittersbythebay.com/gallery/images/kartsngolf/Silfur1.jpg

:cry:

Those pictures make me a sad panda.

ZenZhu · TOP POSTER! Joined: 22 Mar 2004 Posts: 1510

With the fursuit head, he looks like balding Gran'pa Rabbit or something... without it, he's pretty ass-faced. Either way you get him, you lose.

Sixtail · Coadjutor Joined: 30 Aug 2004 Posts: 93

Hm. I think I finaly know who that pracing stick man Shawn Keller was making fun of at last.

And..Ew. Just...ew. I like thin people but he looks like someone pressed a hot iron against his face.

Dare I ask what he's "Infamous" for? Whoring his body for sex, the main attraction at every con's "Sex Party", what?

Anyway, this is stupid. So very stupid. I weep for the Cal furs.

subversive · Prattler Joined: 30 Dec 2004 Posts: 183

Hm. I think I finaly know who that pracing stick man Shawn Keller was making fun of at last.

And..Ew. Just...ew. I like thin people but he looks like someone pressed a hot iron against his face.

Dare I ask what he's "Infamous" for? Whoring his body for sex, the main attraction at every con's "Sex Party", what?

Anyway, this is stupid. So very stupid. I weep for the Cal furs.

Every assumption, statement or question posed in your post is true and correct. :)

IceCat · Venter Joined: 31 Oct 2003 Posts: 244

Just for information here'se the thread on AFF that started one of the biggest flame wars on AFF.

http://tinyurl.com/64klq

It's about the problems with the "Pet Auction" back then, just thoiught I'd post a link here for your inlightenment.

Later

IceCat

mouse · Needs to get out more Joined: 13 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192

Just for information here'se the thread on AFF that started one of the biggest flame wars on AFF.

http://tinyurl.com/64klq

It's about the problems with the "Pet Auction" back then, just thoiught I'd post a link here for your inlightenment.

Later

IceCat

I think I read this AFF thread a while back...
And Califur wants to bring the pet auction back?... more power to em :)